is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[chocolala]

Lily also has no pattern. Yesterday she didn't really fight sleep at all, for naps or bedtime, today she is.

Last night she woke every 60 -90 mins and was waking up for the day again at 6:40, despite not going to sleep until 10pm ish. A few weeks ago if she'd of gone to sleep that late she'd of woken about 9:30, I just don't get it. Previous couple of weeks her sleep was improving, just 3 wakings, now it's gone to shit again and got worse! To top it all I'm taking a while to get back to sleep after a feed, as she'll quite often pop off and then decide a few mins later that she wants more.

I really want to see an osteopath with her, but milk matters still haven't got back to me with a reccomendation after a week, with email and phone call reminder.[/QUOTE]

why don't you do a search on line for cranial osteopaths? that's how i found ours. or if you want i could ask her if she knows anyone in your area?

Yeah I have done, and there are loads, Charlotte at milk matters seemed fairly particular in who they recommend. I would like someone who comes with a recommendation, so yes please, if you wouldn't mind seeing if your osteopath knows anyone in north Norfolk area, that would be brilliant.

 

[kosh]

Lily also has no pattern. Yesterday she didn't really fight sleep at all, for naps or bedtime, today she is.

Last night she woke every 60 -90 mins and was waking up for the day again at 6:40, despite not going to sleep until 10pm ish. A few weeks ago if she'd of gone to sleep that late she'd of woken about 9:30, I just don't get it. Previous couple of weeks her sleep was improving, just 3 wakings, now it's gone to shit again and got worse! To top it all I'm taking a while to get back to sleep after a feed, as she'll quite often pop off and then decide a few mins later that she wants more.

I really want to see an osteopath with her, but milk matters still haven't got back to me with a reccomendation after a week, with email and phone call reminder.[/QUOTE]

why don't you do a search on line for cranial osteopaths? that's how i found ours. or if you want i could ask her if she knows anyone in your area?

Yeah I have done, and there are loads, Charlotte at milk matters seemed fairly particular in who they recommend. I would like someone who comes with a recommendation, so yes please, if you wouldn't mind seeing if your osteopath knows anyone in north Norfolk area, that would be brilliant.

sure, i'll ask her!

 

[ellebelle]

I had such a bad night last night. The girls were up every hour from 10pm - 7am.
Lastnight their father was over here and he was kind of mean and stressed/high strung and I think it affected their sleep.

He wanted to let them CIO and after 10 minutes of them in hysterics I said NO, this is not working, I don't like this.
So the twins were really upset and crying in his arms and wanting ME (because I actually comfort them when they cry) he just kept barking WHAT, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! At them...
So I just took them one at a time and nursed them to sleep as I usually do and he got all mad that I created such a bond with them that he can't even put them to sleep.

Well.. what baby is going to go to sleep when you get frustrated and leave them on the floor to cry or keep asking them what the hell is the matter with them?

I'm sad today.

 

[AngelUK]

Oh ellebelle! I am so sorry! Your FOB sounds mean! Did he expect the babies to answer when he barked at them and to suddenly say, "yeah you're right I'll drop off then?" What a horrible meanie! Hope you don't get offended. Loads of to you and the girls. I hope you have a better night tonight

 

[kosh]

I had such a bad night last night. The girls were up every hour from 10pm - 7am.
Lastnight their father was over here and he was kind of mean and stressed/high strung and I think it affected their sleep.

He wanted to let them CIO and after 10 minutes of them in hysterics I said NO, this is not working, I don't like this.
So the twins were really upset and crying in his arms and wanting ME (because I actually comfort them when they cry) he just kept barking WHAT, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! At them...
So I just took them one at a time and nursed them to sleep as I usually do and he got all mad that I created such a bond with them that he can't even put them to sleep.

Well.. what baby is going to go to sleep when you get frustrated and leave them on the floor to cry or keep asking them what the hell is the matter with them?

I'm sad today.

i'm so sorry
just read your other post in the main section too.
i don't know what to advise,mainly because you are not together,so i don't how feasible to get to an agreement between the two of you? how is he with teh twins in general? i mean, was this a one off, or he's usually like this?

 

[firefly15]

I had such a bad night last night. The girls were up every hour from 10pm - 7am.
Lastnight their father was over here and he was kind of mean and stressed/high strung and I think it affected their sleep.

He wanted to let them CIO and after 10 minutes of them in hysterics I said NO, this is not working, I don't like this.
So the twins were really upset and crying in his arms and wanting ME (because I actually comfort them when they cry) he just kept barking WHAT, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! At them...
So I just took them one at a time and nursed them to sleep as I usually do and he got all mad that I created such a bond with them that he can't even put them to sleep.

Well.. what baby is going to go to sleep when you get frustrated and leave them on the floor to cry or keep asking them what the hell is the matter with them?

I'm sad today.

sorry you had such a hard night hun

 

[ellebelle]

I had such a bad night last night. The girls were up every hour from 10pm - 7am.
Lastnight their father was over here and he was kind of mean and stressed/high strung and I think it affected their sleep.

He wanted to let them CIO and after 10 minutes of them in hysterics I said NO, this is not working, I don't like this.
So the twins were really upset and crying in his arms and wanting ME (because I actually comfort them when they cry) he just kept barking WHAT, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?! At them...
So I just took them one at a time and nursed them to sleep as I usually do and he got all mad that I created such a bond with them that he can't even put them to sleep.

Well.. what baby is going to go to sleep when you get frustrated and leave them on the floor to cry or keep asking them what the hell is the matter with them?

I'm sad today.

i'm so sorry
just read your other post in the main section too.
i don't know what to advise,mainly because you are not together,so i don't how feasible to get to an agreement between the two of you? how is he with teh twins in general? i mean, was this a one off, or he's usually like this?

He's really great playing with them when they are awake and happy, he gets frustrated easily with them when they are crying. When they were newborns he called them names (like stupid and ********) and left them in a dark room to cry when he was watching them while I slept. So... I worry lots about how his behaviour could impact them.

 

[lisa1980]

Ellebelle That sounds like an awful situation to be in. I hope he gets his act together soon for you and the girls.

Hanskiz - I remember some of your sleep-related posts from a while back. How's the sleep training going? Which method are you trying?

Last night wasn't great. He started off in his own room but ended up in with us by midnight and then really unsettled all night. He has this thing now where he wants to sleep with all four limbs touching me but it's really uncomfortable and I struggle to sleep, plus he keeps scratching and kicking me in his sleep

Hoping for a better night for all

 

[Hanskiz]

Ellebelle That sounds like an awful situation to be in. I hope he gets his act together soon for you and the girls.

Hanskiz - I remember some of your sleep-related posts from a while back. How's the sleep training going? Which method are you trying?

Last night wasn't great. He started off in his own room but ended up in with us by midnight and then really unsettled all night. He has this thing now where he wants to sleep with all four limbs touching me but it's really uncomfortable and I struggle to sleep, plus he keeps scratching and kicking me in his sleep

Hoping for a better night for all

We're doing a modified CC. My OH goes to her the first time she wakes and picks her up and offers water. She usually guzzles it down... Then he re-settles her and leaves. If she cries he does CC from then on, leaving her a maximum of 5-10 minutes. The first night was hard, and she did cry a lot but the last two have been much better. If she wakes again (which she always does) I feed her as usual. We're hoping that we can get down to one waking and get it as late in the night as possible, then we will phase that out using the same technique. So far she has pushed back the first waking 3 hours in 3 nights....

It isn't nice listening to baby cry, I find it very hard, but I'm exhausted and my older daughter suffers a lot from my short temper. It's not fair. I just hope we can see it through and get sorted soon!

 

[Gemmamuk]

Ellebelle your ex sounds like my OH!
When Alex cries he often just leaves him or sits there with him on his lap like a statue. Don't get me wrong he's not purposly neglectful or anything but sometimes on the rare occasion he looks after Alex so I can sleep or go out, it doesn't occur to him to feed him a meal or change his nappy unless I give him strict instructions

To me it's common sense - if a baby cries, it's normally for food/milk, nappy, pain or cuddles. He sits there with him like a statue. And a few times I went out in the evening I came home and he hadn't put him to bed and was still sat up with him??
In the end we had a chat and I told him I was reaching breaking point looking after two big babies (Alex & OH!). I said while I don't mind doing the bulk of the work, I'm his mummy, I do need help and when I'm going to huge effort getting Alex into a routine for food and sleep, I need him to help me stick to it!!

I went out last Wednesday - came home to find Alex bathed, fed and in bed
This morning after a bad night OH got up at 7.45 with Alex do I could sleep, and I got up at 10.30 to find him changed, in a clean nappy and he'd just fed him breakfast!!!



We had a pretty bad night last night. Alex went down at 6.45-7.15, back to sleep 7.30-8, then when he woke I gave him his dummy and he went straight back until 8.30 - whenhe decided he was staying awake until 11pm!! If I managed to get him to sleep he would wake as soon as I lay him in his cot! Grrrr
He then woke at 1, 3, 5, 6.30, and was in a very disturbed sleep for an hour before OH got up with him. While it was not the worst night we've had recently by FAR, I was just SO exhausted from hardly any sleep in weeks!

He napped easily for 30 mins at 12, then fought his afternoon nap until 4 and only slept 15 mins.


Now tonight he went down at 7.30, and woke at 8 and still won't settle. I stayed with him trying to get him back to sleep until 8.20, but then needed the loo
I left him to cry and he screamed for a minute then dropped back to sleep at 830 until a police helicopter overhead woke him up
I went to him and rubbed his head and left him to sooth himself. Again - dropped off and a loud car went past.......
He's currently half awake babbling but so long as he's not screaming I'm happy

Wishing all you lovely ladies lots of sleepy dust tonight!!!

 

[Gemmamuk]

One question though to you guys doing/done cc/CIO....
How long do you let it go on if LO's don't soothe themselves and go off to sleep?? Do you set a time limit, say midnight, or do you go the distance all night????

 

[flippityflop]

One question though to you guys doing/done cc/CIO....
How long do you let it go on if LO's don't soothe themselves and go off to sleep?? Do you set a time limit, say midnight, or do you go the distance all night????

I was told to go on as long as it takes. Something along the lines of if you're going to stop at a certain point then everything up to that point is a waste and your LO has cried for no reason iyswim. However I don't know how long I would have lasted if it hadn't "only" taken 40 minutes. My boss did it (13 years ago) and her LO cried for 4 hrs. I think you have to make up your own rules for that and what you would feel comfortable doing. I said to OH before we started, "what if it takes hours?", he said then it would take hours and we'd deal with it at the time. You really really need someone else with you on the same page. x

 

[Gemmamuk]

H god my son is very strong willed and I have no doubt he has the ability to go all night! Yawn! Bring on the red bull and coffee!!

 

[flippityflop]

H god my son is very strong willed and I have no doubt he has the ability to go all night! Yawn! Bring on the red bull and coffee!!

I honestly thought that about my lo but he totally surprised me. I just read on the other post that your LO is still awake but not crying. What are you doing in this instance? I'd be inclined to leave him be unless he was crying?

 

[Gemmamuk]

H god my son is very strong willed and I have no doubt he has the ability to go all night! Yawn! Bring on the red bull and coffee!!

I honestly thought that about my lo but he totally surprised me. I just read on the other post that your LO is still awake but not crying. What are you doing in this instance? I'd be inclined to leave him be unless he was crying?

He's kind of alternating between heavy breathing, grizzling, crying and babbling. Im going in 10/15 min intervals. If its quiet I'm leaving him to it. If he's crying/grizzling I go in turn him back on his side (how he always sleeps) puts his dummy in, kiss and and say night night love you and leave....

 

[Gemmamuk]

I went up at 10pm as he was screaming, did the usual put into position, dummy, kiss, night night.

10.15 all was quiet so I didn't go in.

10.30.......he's zonked out wrong way up in the cot but very much soundly asleep and looking oh so cute!!!

 

[kosh]

I went up at 10pm as he was screaming, did the usual put into position, dummy, kiss, night night.

10.15 all was quiet so I didn't go in.

10.30.......he's zonked out wrong way up in the cot but very much soundly asleep and looking oh so cute!!!

 

[Gemmamuk]

He did just wake again....his predictable 30 minute wake! I went up and he was on all fours looking around. I turned him the right way, dummy, kiss and left the room while he was still awake and he's back to sleep on his own.

Please please please let this be a turning point!!!!

All your ladies support and knowing I'm not the only one having a hard time really means a lot!!!! I know all my Facebook friends (as well as close friends!) are fed up of me moaning so knowing I can say what I'm thinking and feeling here is helping my sanity massively!!! So thank you - hope your not all fed up of me ha ha!!

How's everyone else getting on? Seems fairly quieter on here so I'm hoping that's a good sign???
Xx

 

[kosh]

He did just wake again....his predictable 30 minute wake! I went up and he was on all fours looking around. I turned him the right way, dummy, kiss and left the room while he was still awake and he's back to sleep on his own.

Please please please let this be a turning point!!!!

All your ladies support and knowing I'm not the only one having a hard time really means a lot!!!! I know all my Facebook friends (as well as close friends!) are fed up of me moaning so knowing I can say what I'm thinking and feeling here is helping my sanity massively!!! So thank you - hope your not all fed up of me ha ha!!

How's everyone else getting on? Seems fairly quieter on here so I'm hoping that's a good sign???
Xx

we've had 1 wake after 2.5hr, so, so far so good

 

[Gemmamuk]

That's not bad kosh!!!! Hopefully you'll get a good nights sleep tonight after all?! Xx

I'm really torn. I'm tired, but I'm worse when I'm being woke up after 20/30/60 mins etc and I know if he wakes me, I'll give in and cuddle him to sleep or let him him my bed as i want to get back to sleep and will have wasted my time. So, I was thinking of just staying awake and dealing with this all night so he learns to self settle and then getting OH to take over in the morning so I can concentrate on doing this properly tonight and get sleep in the morning?? Hmmmmmm