is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[kosh]

My hv just rang to check on how DS was sleeping.
Can I just say.....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate the bloody patronising old cow! :growlmad
So quick to judge and tell me everything I'm doing is wrong and it's my fault DS doesn't sleep! I'm too 'comforting' and need to leave my baby to scream every night until he's sick and disregard my poor neighbour who has to be up at 4am and Alex keeps awake.

The woman drives me crazy every time I speak to her and makes me feel like the worst mother in the world

Apparantly 'she's cracked' many a baby who refuses to sleep and it's because I'm too soft on him. Well I'm sorry but I don't want to leave my baby to cry so much until he vomits!

I too hate the way they look at you when you disagree with their opinion/method, like 'don't complain then'

 

[AngelUK]

What's it to her anyway?! I hate the way the act as if they have a claim to how your baby is brought up! Mine wasn't quite like that but she sure thought she could tell me to prepare bottles fresh at night! I didn't tell her that I would not do it that way cause I feared she might report me for child abuse lol

 

[chocolala]

My hv just rang to check on how DS was sleeping.
Can I just say.....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate the bloody patronising old cow! :growlmad
So quick to judge and tell me everything I'm doing is wrong and it's my fault DS doesn't sleep! I'm too 'comforting' and need to leave my baby to scream every night until he's sick and disregard my poor neighbour who has to be up at 4am and Alex keeps awake.

The woman drives me crazy every time I speak to her and makes me feel like the worst mother in the world

Apparantly 'she's cracked' many a baby who refuses to sleep and it's because I'm too soft on him. Well I'm sorry but I don't want to leave my baby to cry so much until he vomits!

Oh my word, that's terrible advice. It reads like she feels she has To break a babies spirit to get it to sleep, so sad

I just tell my HV I'm happy with how lily sleeps, I'm not, but I've seen the advice they give out and it's not a path I want to take, even the gentle option means leaving baby to cry.

I think I've figured out why lily slept so badly last night. I did actually talk to the husband about trying for another in the new year, but on the condition that our sex life gets going first, so it's not just sex for the sake of a baby. Well, lily was in the room and I think she isn't too keen on a sibling, so decided she'd do something about it!

 

[Gemmamuk]

She's basically said I need to leave him
To cry all night and not go into him??? Wtf?!

She had one son 30 years ago who slept perfectly and thinks she's an expert on where I'm going wrong?!!!!

I wish I could leave him with her for one night and shed soon change her attitude - but I love my son too much to leave him in her company lol!!!

 

[lisa1980]

Pah! I only saw my HV once after LO was born and that was enough
Don't let her get you down Gemma - it's NOT your fault that your LO doesn't sleep!

Fairly poor night for us too. Lots of wake-ups and wanting to BF to feed every time.
I AM pleased that DH managed to get LO to sleep last night though. It took an hour of on-off crying as LO only wants me in the evenings and night, but eventually he settled down and then slept for 3 hours straight which was great. We didn't give him a bottle when he woke as I said we would becuase he woke too late and neither of us had the energy to go downstairs and make it so I just BF him instead. I don't know whether this has anything to do with his bad sleep last night

We've moved him to his own room today and so far he's napped for nearly 2 hours! I'm trying not to get my hopes up that this is a good sign.

Just out of interest - do any of you plan on using any sleep training methods (standard or invented)? I am getting close to wanting to try somethin more structured if things don't improve as we just can't con tinue like this when I go back to work.

 

[chocolala]

We don't plan on using any training for lily, she'll get there in her own time. I'm not going back to work, so I'm lucky that I can do that. If I was planning on training, then I would only use gentle methods, like no cry sleep solution.

But we are going to be seeing an osteopath, which hopefully will help with her sleep.

 

[jk78]

So many wonderful posts on here. I just wanted to say how much this sounds like me. My little man normally wakes up after the initial 5-6 hour stretch after going to bed around 8. After he wakes for the first time than he wakes up like clock work EVERY 2 hours. No matter what. THAT is something I can always count on. But he has been having nights where he is up every 45-90 minutes as well. He too is strictly BF and he will eat most the time and go right back to sleep. But he does have to be rocked or nursed back to sleep. Always. I tried the pacifier because he seems to need something to suck on and he never wanted it before but at 4 months he decided he wanted it. That is a big mess. Nap times is the only time he wants it during the day which is good, but night time he wants it to go to bed and now when it pops out he wakes up...wow that was a bad move on my part.
He has good nights still; last night was one of them. I am the only one that gets up with him because of BF but I wouldnt change it. I admit that I get very tired and I have felt pretty cranky at times waking up but I am use to it now. I think because I have went back to work and my body has just adjusted to it that its getting better for me. I love holding my baby and even if I am waking up 20 times a night, its only for long enough to feed him and than back to sleep. Just keep telling yourself that he has to sleep sometime. It WILL get better. I keep telling myself that. Soon enough we will be wishing they were this size again. It goes to fast. Naps during the day arent any better. 30-45 minutes MAX!! But he takes them every couple hours or so. I am lucky enough to be able to work from home 2-3 days a week with him.
Hang in there. Enjoy EVERY moment you two have together. It wont last long although it may feel like a lifetime right now. Its a special bond the two of you have together and thats what makes it all worth the while.
I never had any complications at birth. He was a healthy baby. Just spoiled rotten
Good luck to you and your family

 

[firefly15]

Sorry to hear that so many of you had bad nights. Ours was mixed, and I almost feel a bit guilty posting about it For once LO went to bed really easily and slept 6.30-9.45 before waking for a feed. After that he was up at 11.15 (I fed again) and then again at 12.45, but I tried to settle without boob for once. He went back to sleep about 6 times over the next hour but kept waking up crying and finally was chomping at his hands and pulling his ears so I gave him some calpol as he seemed to be in pain, fed again then put him back to bed at 2am and he slept til nearly 7am!!! I actually woke up shocked as a) that's the longest stretch he's slept in months and b) it's completely different to his normal pattern. Usually if he starts waking every 90 mins or so then that's it for the whole night. No idea if it was the calpol that did it, or a total fluke, or something else?

Not holding my breath for tonight as he's had 3 short naps today due to falling asleep in the car when he wasn't due a nap for ages . Typical! When you want them to sleep in the car you drive for miles and no joy, but when you don't want them to fall asleep they're out like a light almost instantly.

Still really unsure about sleep training methods, I think if we do get desperate enough to use them then it will be a gentle method first. I keep thinking about trying the technique Celesse used on her LO...I'm lucky that I won't be going back to work though, if I was then we would have to think about it quite seriously.

 

[Gemmamuk]

Hope everyone's night is going better than mine

DS does NOT want to sleep tonight!!!
He went down at 6.45, woke at 7.10 and was back asleep by 7.15.
Woke again at 7.50 for 5 mins, then again at 8.30 and he is STILL fighting going back to sleep an hour and 20 mins later.

Just don't know how much longer I can go on surviving on a couple of hours sleep at night. Right now I could quite happily get in my car and drive off and leave OH to deal with DS

 

[lisa1980]

Gemma I'm so sorry you're having a bad eve hon. Any chance OH can give you a night (or even and evening) off any time soon? It always helped me to plan something like that when LO was being really difficult to deal with.

Re sleep training - in an ideal world I wouldn't do any at all. I hate having to do it and I'm frankly rubbish at sticking to it because I cave too quickly. If I didn't have to go back to work I don't think I'd be considering it so seriously, but I have a very demanding job where I could literally kill people if i make the wrong decision and I really don't feel confident that I can do it on such little sleep but I HAVE to in order for us to pay our mortgage. So...sleep training may well happen for us.

I've tried some of the gentle techniques. I'm working on not letting him BF to sleep using the Pantley pull out method from No Cry Sleep Solution, and I'm trying to get him to go to sleep in the cot by persisting in putting him down sleepy but awake, picking him back up if he cries then putting him back down when calm even though it sometimes takes hours and it seems to be completely random whether he'll put up a fight or not. It doesn't seem to be getting progressively better particularly, like I thought it might, and it hasn't stopped him waking frequently in the night at all.

I'm hoping that his own room may help him but realistically I'm not sure it'll be that simple.

I just don't know what to do for the best. I wish I knew what would work with him but I'm clutching at straws. When I read flippityflop's posts about how well CC worked for her I feel like it might work for us too, as our LOs sound very similar, but it seems that just when I decide that we're definitely going to try it LO has a better night and I lose my confidence and then it all goes to pot. I'm also scared in case I try it and it doesn't work and my last resort option is then gone and things won't improve and I'll be a disaster at work.

I just wish he would sleep better. I hate hate hate that I even have to think about sleep training but it's just not feasible for me to actually go to work in the state I'm in most days

 

[flippityflop]

Gemma I'm so sorry you're having a bad eve hon. Any chance OH can give you a night (or even and evening) off any time soon? It always helped me to plan something like that when LO was being really difficult to deal with.

Re sleep training - in an ideal world I wouldn't do any at all. I hate having to do it and I'm frankly rubbish at sticking to it because I cave too quickly. If I didn't have to go back to work I don't think I'd be considering it so seriously, but I have a very demanding job where I could literally kill people if i make the wrong decision and I really don't feel confident that I can do it on such little sleep but I HAVE to in order for us to pay our mortgage. So...sleep training may well happen for us.

I've tried some of the gentle techniques. I'm working on not letting him BF to sleep using the Pantley pull out method from No Cry Sleep Solution, and I'm trying to get him to go to sleep in the cot by persisting in putting him down sleepy but awake, picking him back up if he cries then putting him back down when calm even though it sometimes takes hours and it seems to be completely random whether he'll put up a fight or not. It doesn't seem to be getting progressively better particularly, like I thought it might, and it hasn't stopped him waking frequently in the night at all.

I'm hoping that his own room may help him but realistically I'm not sure it'll be that simple.

I just don't know what to do for the best. I wish I knew what would work with him but I'm clutching at straws. When I read flippityflop's posts about how well CC worked for her I feel like it might work for us too, as our LOs sound very similar, but it seems that just when I decide that we're definitely going to try it LO has a better night and I lose my confidence and then it all goes to pot. I'm also scared in case I try it and it doesn't work and my last resort option is then gone and things won't improve and I'll be a disaster at work.

I just wish he would sleep better. I hate hate hate that I even have to think about sleep training but it's just not feasible for me to actually go to work in the state I'm in most days

Big hugs Lisa. You will work out what's best for your family in the end I promise!

 

[kosh]

sorry to hear about all the bad nights. to all
ours is going ok-ish so far, just a few brief wakes due to trapped wind!
the last couple of days he's been having a couple of 2.5hs stretches so much much better than a few weeks ago!

re. sleep training - not as such. the only training i am hoping to do is to get DH to be able to settle LO at night and also not to nurse him to sleep every time he wakes. i really hope it works, or that slowly his sleep gets somehow better, my job is quite demanding too and i'm worried how i'll cope, yet i know that CC/CIO it's not for us.

 

[kosh]

can't believe what just happened
our usual simple bedtime routine is bath/wash and nurse to sleep. sometimes he doesn't fall asleep on the boob so he starts playing and cooing and after a while, when he gets properly tired i rock him to sleep.
so we were in bed, and he was all happy chatty gggghhhaaa, bbrffff, uh-uh etc etc and then all of the sudden he got hold of his blanket, turned onto his tummy and fall asleep, just like that!!!!
just a one off i guess, but still nice.

Wow, that's fab!

Maybe, through the power of this thread, all our babies are going to 'get it' and start self-settling and sttn and we can start a new thread just called 'Woohoo' [-o<


Good luck for tonight everyone

^^^ this

 

[Hanskiz]

Hello all :wave:

I posted a week or so ago when LO was screaming like a crazy thing in the evening. Things have improved and evenings are ok.

I've been lurking since then as I don't think my LO is too bad a sleeper compared to some of yours! Having said that, I suffer from insomnia so even 1 or 2 wakings a night are a killer for me as I find it very difficult to get back to sleep and often end up being awake for hours at night when LO is asleep.

Anyway, we've decided to sleep train now.... It's going ok and have pushed first waking back from 11 to 2 in the last 3 nights.... We'll see how long it takes to get to STTN!

I just wanted to say how much I admire you all for your strength in coping with this. I'm amazed at how well you seem to manage on so little sleep.

I'll keep you posted on our progress...

 

[firefly15]

can't believe what just happened
our usual simple bedtime routine is bath/wash and nurse to sleep. sometimes he doesn't fall asleep on the boob so he starts playing and cooing and after a while, when he gets properly tired i rock him to sleep.
so we were in bed, and he was all happy chatty gggghhhaaa, bbrffff, uh-uh etc etc and then all of the sudden he got hold of his blanket, turned onto his tummy and fall asleep, just like that!!!!
just a one off i guess, but still nice.

Wow, that's fab!

Maybe, through the power of this thread, all our babies are going to 'get it' and start self-settling and sttn and we can start a new thread just called 'Woohoo' [-o<


Good luck for tonight everyone

^^^ this

Please let this be a lucky charm! We all deserve to be able to join a thread called 'woohoo'

 

[Claireyb1]

Had a really rubbish night with Lucy,I think she woke up from 11pm onwards almost every hour managed to go back to bed with her for 1st nap and got an extra 45mins,so feel slightly more human
Like so many other of you ladies,I just can't see a pattern to all the wakings so I just have to go with it every night and hope "tonight,will be the night!" and get longer stretches
Hope everyone elses nights weren't too bad.

 

[chocolala]

Lily also has no pattern. Yesterday she didn't really fight sleep at all, for naps or bedtime, today she is.

Last night she woke every 60 -90 mins and was waking up for the day again at 6:40, despite not going to sleep until 10pm ish. A few weeks ago if she'd of gone to sleep that late she'd of woken about 9:30, I just don't get it. Previous couple of weeks her sleep was improving, just 3 wakings, now it's gone to shit again and got worse! To top it all I'm taking a while to get back to sleep after a feed, as she'll quite often pop off and then decide a few mins later that she wants more.

I really want to see an osteopath with her, but milk matters still haven't got back to me with a reccomendation after a week, with email and phone call reminder.

 

[Claireyb1]

Lily also has no pattern. Yesterday she didn't really fight sleep at all, for naps or bedtime, today she is.

Last night she woke every 60 -90 mins and was waking up for the day again at 6:40, despite not going to sleep until 10pm ish. A few weeks ago if she'd of gone to sleep that late she'd of woken about 9:30, I just don't get it. Previous couple of weeks her sleep was improving, just 3 wakings, now it's gone to shit again and got worse! To top it all I'm taking a while to get back to sleep after a feed, as she'll quite often pop off and then decide a few mins later that she wants more.

I really want to see an osteopath with her, but milk matters still haven't got back to me with a reccomendation after a week, with email and phone call reminder.

Yes,this is us.Had a good few nights with only 3 wakings and I think one with just 2!!!! now as you say it's all gone to shit again! lol
I went to see a paediatric chiropractor with Lucy when she was about 8 weeks old and it did nothing,saw him about 3 times and all Lucy did was wee on him what do you want to see an osteopath for?if you don't mind me asking?

 

[chocolala]

Lily also has no pattern. Yesterday she didn't really fight sleep at all, for naps or bedtime, today she is.

Last night she woke every 60 -90 mins and was waking up for the day again at 6:40, despite not going to sleep until 10pm ish. A few weeks ago if she'd of gone to sleep that late she'd of woken about 9:30, I just don't get it. Previous couple of weeks her sleep was improving, just 3 wakings, now it's gone to shit again and got worse! To top it all I'm taking a while to get back to sleep after a feed, as she'll quite often pop off and then decide a few mins later that she wants more.

I really want to see an osteopath with her, but milk matters still haven't got back to me with a reccomendation after a week, with email and phone call reminder.

Yes,this is us.Had a good few nights with only 3 wakings and I think one with just 2!!!! now as you say it's all gone to shit again! lol
I went to see a paediatric chiropractor with Lucy when she was about 8 weeks old and it did nothing,saw him about 3 times and all Lucy did was wee on him what do you want to see an osteopath for?if you don't mind me asking?

We've been trying to get her checked out for tongue tie with milk matters, Lily can't really lift her tongue and when crying its unusually flat. Because of this and the long birth we had and also the fact that Lily was back to back during pregnancy and birth, Charlotte at milk matters suspects she's got a lot of tension in her head/mouth. So we want to try and sort that out and try again to see if she is tt, both of which can cause sleep fighting and frequent waking.

 

[kosh]

Lily also has no pattern. Yesterday she didn't really fight sleep at all, for naps or bedtime, today she is.

Last night she woke every 60 -90 mins and was waking up for the day again at 6:40, despite not going to sleep until 10pm ish. A few weeks ago if she'd of gone to sleep that late she'd of woken about 9:30, I just don't get it. Previous couple of weeks her sleep was improving, just 3 wakings, now it's gone to shit again and got worse! To top it all I'm taking a while to get back to sleep after a feed, as she'll quite often pop off and then decide a few mins later that she wants more.

I really want to see an osteopath with her, but milk matters still haven't got back to me with a reccomendation after a week, with email and phone call reminder.

why don't you do a search on line for cranial osteopaths? that's how i found ours. or if you want i could ask her if she knows anyone in your area?