is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[Gemmamuk]

How was your night? I also had to have stern word with my OH as he kept waking when LO would stir at, say, 6am and saying 'wow, that's the first time he's woken all night!' and i'd have to stop myself from nutting him. No, it's the first time YOU'VE woken and heard him you wally, I'VE been up a hundred times. Needless to say, he only said it the once

so after reading this and firefly's comment, I have a question ladies - apart from Angel and Mr. AngelUK how many of you really share duties or night duties with your OHs? And do you think that has any impact on the way your LOs sleep/behave at night?

My OH does bugger all!
He started off with great potential and stayed up with me and helped, but by about 6 weeks or so went to bed and put him ear plugs in and slept soundly! He still does this every night
He said it was cos he couldn't help as I was breastfeeding. Not true. There was always a bottle of expressed milk in the fridge as I had so much, and he was combi fed from 12 weeks on
I must admit I do slam around sometimes in a huff after I've been up for the 15th time in the night and I like to kick him when he snores

He does sometimes get up with Alex at 8 or 9am so I can grab another hour or too, but more often than not he sleeps in late and I get up early with Alex after being up with him all night!

 

[flippityflop]

OH has done one night since Cormac was born. I was out on a hen do and he let me sleep but of course I woke eveeytime anyway.

He has offered but to be honest I turn him down as he can't settle LO and it just makes everything worse.

 

[lisa1980]

How was your night? I also had to have stern word with my OH as he kept waking when LO would stir at, say, 6am and saying 'wow, that's the first time he's woken all night!' and i'd have to stop myself from nutting him. No, it's the first time YOU'VE woken and heard him you wally, I'VE been up a hundred times. Needless to say, he only said it the once

so after reading this and firefly's comment, I have a question ladies - apart from Angel and Mr. AngelUK how many of you really share duties or night duties with your OHs? And do you think that has any impact on the way your LOs sleep/behave at night?

Mine is mixed. He used to get up loads at the beginning when he was off on pat leave. He couldn't do anything as I was BF but he would often help with changing/winding which was nice.

Since he's been at work he usually sleeps through and I do everything at night. BF was again used as the main excuse. To be fair to him I would sometimes ask him to take LO when the night had been particularly bad or I was losing it and he always did without moaning, but that may be because it rarely happened. At weekends he would get up early with him so I could lie in sometimes.

Lately he's been off work due to a broken wrist so it's been interesting as he doesn't have the 'I've got to work all day' excuse. He has made a real effort to get up and we've taken it on turns usually which has been good. I find that LO settles more quickly when i go, but for less time, whereas when OH goes he does cry for me at first but once he realises he's stuck with Daddy and therefore the chances of a (functional ) BF are slim he usually settles down really well, and seems to stay settled for longer periods.

I don't know why this is....I think maybe it's because I always run to him when he makes any whimper, and I 'give in' to him (not the right words but ykwim) more easily. Daddy is probably more strict in some ways and less liable to cave after a few tears than me. I don't think for one minute that LO tries to manipulate me in the traditional sense (I'm not trying to suggest that babies are Machiavellian geniuses!), just that he knows that I'm the 'easier' one when he's trying to get his own way, i.e trying to play all night.

One thing I definitely know is that OH has a new-found respect for how hard it is to care for a baby all day on no sleep....I think he was one of the people who JUST DID NOT GET IT before

 

[kosh]

slightly O/T
-----
I'm buying a high chair. The product info says:

3 RECLINE POSITIONS SO IF THE CHILD FALLS ASLEEP IT CAN BE RECLINED FOR A MORE COMFORTABLE SLEEPING POSITION,

yeah right

 

[lisa1980]

slightly O/T
-----
I'm buying a high chair. The product info says:

3 RECLINE POSITIONS SO IF THE CHILD FALLS ASLEEP IT CAN BE RECLINED FOR A MORE COMFORTABLE SLEEPING POSITION,

yeah right

Also O/T but the multitude of posts about wanting babies to sleep longer/better from people whose LOs are TINY and already sleep pretty well is doing my head in

I'm trying to be measured in my response but grrrrrraaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kosh]

slightly O/T
-----
I'm buying a high chair. The product info says:

3 RECLINE POSITIONS SO IF THE CHILD FALLS ASLEEP IT CAN BE RECLINED FOR A MORE COMFORTABLE SLEEPING POSITION,

yeah right

Also O/T but the multitude of posts about wanting babies to sleep longer/better from people whose LOs are TINY and already sleep pretty well is doing my head in

I'm trying to be measured in my response but grrrrrraaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, are there any more? I looove those

 

[lisa1980]

Oh there's just one particular poster (don't want to name names or be mean) who is constantly on about how terrible her LO's sleep is and how she wants to try things to improve his sleep but he's 3months old and sleeps better than my LO does most nights NOW!!!

I'm sure it's just totally unreasonable jealousy on my part, but COME ON PEOPLE!!

 

[kosh]

Oh there's just one particular poster (don't want to name names or be mean) who is constantly on about how terrible her LO's sleep is and how she wants to try things to improve his sleep but he's 3months old and sleeps better than my LO does most nights NOW!!!

I'm sure it's just totally unreasonable jealousy on my part, but COME ON PEOPLE!!

oh come on tell us who she is (just kidding, i think i know...)
I don't think it's jealousy, I seriously think ppl have totally unrealistic expectations.
just saw a thread asking for advise re a week old baby's sleep. I mean A ONE WEEK OLD....??!!

 

[firefly15]

Firefly - I tried to quote you in the above post but BnB seems to hate me today

Anyway, George was 8lb3oz at birth which is in no way huge, but I'm tiny (5 ft tall, small frame, small hips) so was expecting a 6-pounder. I fully blame OH. I saw some baby pics of him and good lord he was a porker

How was your night? I also had to have stern word with my OH as he kept waking when LO would stir at, say, 6am and saying 'wow, that's the first time he's woken all night!' and i'd have to stop myself from nutting him. No, it's the first time YOU'VE woken and heard him you wally, I'VE been up a hundred times. Needless to say, he only said it the once

8lb 3oz at 38 weeks is pretty good going! LO was 8lb 10oz at 42+1 and I should thank my lucky stars I think as OH was 9lb 7oz at over 2 weeks late so it could have been worse!

We had a crap night again last night - up every 2 hours with a few more frequent spells thrown in for good luck, for which I am blaming teething again Seriously though, he really does seem to be teething at the moment. Sadly nurofen didn't make any difference last night so a bit confused as to whether it was teething pain or something else. He slept in til 8am this morning which was very unusual but total sods law as we have to be out the house by 9am on a Wednesday. Why does that never happen on a Saturday morning?!

I got told off by the HVs today at his 9-12 month health check as apparently at his age he should need nothing other than water at night and I should not be feeding him at all when he wakes up This is one memo that LO definitely did not get!

 

[Claireyb1]

Will read throught the recent posts when I get more time.Just wanted to unload as today has been pretty horrid.
It was my Mums birthday today which should be nice, but she ended up being taken to hospital in an ambulance due to severve abdominal pains
She is being kept in as they aren't sure what is causing it,possibly a twisted bowel
It's just such a worry! I love my Mum soooo much and she is like my best friend,I just want her home safe.
I wish I could do more to help her but with LO it is so much harder than when I was childless.
I hope she is going to be ok.
Sorry to go all OT on you all.
Let's pray for good nights.

 

[AngelUK]

firefly my mother keeps saying to me that Dom shouldn't need his 4am feed any more and that he is decidedly on the fattish side. I agree but if he doesn't get his milk when he wants it he cries in really loud sobs and will not stop, no matter how I bounce and rock him. She keeps telling me that at that age she gave us baby tea if anything at all and she sent me a tin. But Dom will not accept that and actually dislikes it. So yeah got to love being told what you should do, as if you get up in the night to feed them by choice at this point!

Oh no Claire! Your poor mum! I hope she will be better in no time! Sending you in the meantime! Hope you get to sleep a bit tonight! xxx

 

[lisa1980]

Claireyb - I hope your mum is ok hon. Keep us posted. I'll have everything crossed for you

Firefly- that is definitely a rough night. I hate teeth...so much hassle to get them and then you get old and it's so much hassle to keep them

Tell the HVs to mind their own business. I still offer to feed my LO whenever he wakes in the vague desperate hope that it'll make him go back to sleep quicker (not working lately AT ALL). If he takes it enthusiastically then I figure he's hungry and I will ALWAYS feed him if he's hungry regardless of what any HV says. I think you're doing exactly the right thing.

Kosh - I'm sure you know who she is; she's been pretty prolific lately. Thing is, I feel for her, I really do, as I know it's exhausting and you feel like you're doing something wrong, but I honestly don't think I ever expected my LO to NOT wake up loads when he was that little...I don't think I had any real expectations other than expecting him to improve rather than regress with age. I didn't start to get actually concerned about it until he was around 6 months though and worse than he had been as a newborn.

Also I keep wanting to point out to her that just getting your LO to sttn at his age DOES NOT mean he'll continue to do so...there are lots of babies who hit the regressions hard and end up much worse than they were, as we all know.

Ah well, bite tongue and carry on

 

[kosh]

Will read throught the recent posts when I get more time.Just wanted to unload as today has been pretty horrid.
It was my Mums birthday today which should be nice, but she ended up being taken to hospital in an ambulance due to severve abdominal pains
She is being kept in as they aren't sure what is causing it,possibly a twisted bowel
It's just such a worry! I love my Mum soooo much and she is like my best friend,I just want her home safe.
I wish I could do more to help her but with LO it is so much harder than when I was childless.
I hope she is going to be ok.
Sorry to go all OT on you all.
Let's pray for good nights.

oh claire!
i really hope she gets better soon!!

 

[flippityflop]

Hugs Claire! X

 

[ellebelle]

so after reading this and firefly's comment, I have a question ladies - apart from Angel and Mr. AngelUK how many of you really share duties or night duties with your OHs? And do you think that has any impact on the way your LOs sleep/behave at night?

I'm doing this all on my own as FOB at first was horrible and borderline abusive with lack of sleep, he no longer lives with me, so I do this all on my own.

I blame myself partly for bad sleep habits because I nurse the girls to sleep to survive, if I stayed up all night rocking them I would probably die so they really depend on that to fall back to sleep in the night.

I don't know though, sometimes they have good nights, but overall, they have progressively woke more and more often. They used to sleep through the night (8 - 9 solid hours) when they were 2/3 months old!

 

[ellebelle]

Holy, I really stink at keeping up with these threads! I'm used to livejournal style.

Claireyb - thinking of you and your mom

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Claireyb Hope your mum is ok and has a speedy recovery.

ellebelle for you too, it must be so tough looking after twins on your own - I don't think I would cope at all. I nurse LO to sleep too. It's either that or she would never sleep. She has never been the kind of baby that just falls asleep anywhere, has always hated being rocked, hated her Moses basket and is generally just too interested in her surroundings to go to sleep unless she has a boob in her mouth! You have to do what works at the time.

As for OH helping at nights - I wish! It's hard for him to do anything since I BF and unfortunately he can't! When she was a newborn I'd sometimes get him to change her during the night if she'd pooed but mostly I did it all. It really bugs me though when he's lying there snoring away when I'm up with LO for the thousandth time. I know he can't do anything to help really but I wish he'd sometimes wake up too and at least offer to help. I sometimes 'accidently' give him a kick just so he knows how it feels to have your sleep interrupted He does get up with LO at the weekends and lets me have a long lie although mostly I can't get back to sleep anyway! I had a bit of a go at him last night for not helping more and when I got up this morning the kitchen was spotless and all the floors washed so a bit of nagging must have done the trick

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Firefly - I tried to quote you in the above post but BnB seems to hate me today

Anyway, George was 8lb3oz at birth which is in no way huge, but I'm tiny (5 ft tall, small frame, small hips) so was expecting a 6-pounder. I fully blame OH. I saw some baby pics of him and good lord he was a porker

How was your night? I also had to have stern word with my OH as he kept waking when LO would stir at, say, 6am and saying 'wow, that's the first time he's woken all night!' and i'd have to stop myself from nutting him. No, it's the first time YOU'VE woken and heard him you wally, I'VE been up a hundred times. Needless to say, he only said it the once

8lb 3oz at 38 weeks is pretty good going! LO was 8lb 10oz at 42+1 and I should thank my lucky stars I think as OH was 9lb 7oz at over 2 weeks late so it could have been worse!

We had a crap night again last night - up every 2 hours with a few more frequent spells thrown in for good luck, for which I am blaming teething again Seriously though, he really does seem to be teething at the moment. Sadly nurofen didn't make any difference last night so a bit confused as to whether it was teething pain or something else. He slept in til 8am this morning which was very unusual but total sods law as we have to be out the house by 9am on a Wednesday. Why does that never happen on a Saturday morning?!

I got told off by the HVs today at his 9-12 month health check as apparently at his age he should need nothing other than water at night and I should not be feeding him at all when he wakes up This is one memo that LO definitely did not get!

Your HV would have a field day with me! On a good night LO will feed twice during the night, on a bad night she'll feed 5 or 6 times and comfort nurse a lot in between. If I don't nurse her sometimes she'll go back to sleep but only for 5 or 10 mins before she wakes and tries to nurse again. Every baby is different and I don't care who says they don't need feeding at night, my baby IMO does need it so I'm not going to refuse her.

 

[chocolala]

Morning.

Claireyb - for you and your mum.

We had a night of 2 halves, I got a block of 3 1/2 hours sleep, plus possibly another hour somewhere, but after 3:40am it went downhill, I was allowed to doze on and off til 5 with lily latching on and off, but from 5 onwards lily was doing some serious faffing about and woke for the day at 6:40 So I asked the husband to get up with her so I could get some more sleep, I explained why and he told me that he didn't come to bed until half 1. Well that's not my bloody fault is it! I got a little bit of time in bed but no sleep before the husband came back in as lily had done a massive poo, so needed to use the changing table, which is in our room I gave up then.

The early wake up I'm sure is because lily stayed up late last night partly cos the mil was here and partly because she had a late nap.

Thank you for all Lily's birthday wishes. She had an ok day, it would have been better if my mum hadn't of been here though. She's so needy for lily to love her and wants to be too big a part of her life. It's hard to explain really, but when I was pregnant she said that lily was the 2nd child she never had. Er, no she's not! She was a rubbish mum to me and still is, everything always has to be about her, she even tried to compete with me over who was more tired!? and also told me that perhaps my dress was to clingy, wtf?!

Anyway, lily got some lovely presents and enjoyed her cake, so that's what counts. And besides we're having a proper party on sat, that my mum doesn't know about, with my husbands family, so that will be fun!

Re oh's helping at night, mine use to in the early days, he'd sit with me while I was feeding lily and try and help position her as I was having a lot of probs, then when they were sorted he would get up and hold lily and change her nappy if neccesary while I was getting myself ready to feed her and some times try and get her back to sleep if I couldn't. But now, no, as I feed her in bed. But he's always far more tired than me. So, I do kick him hard when he snores and I don't do much to stop lily flinging herself around and kicking him when she is between us

 

[AngelUK]

Seems last night went really well again for OH. He said he had to get up at 2 and rock Dom a lil but that there was no feed till 4 for both boys and they then both slept till 8:30! He said Sebastian was the one who got him up more from 11 till 4 cause he kept scratching his face and whimpering. He has eczema on his cheeks and behind his ears and we put long sock on his hands so that he couldn't use his nails but I guess he was really uncomfy. We have a cortisone cream for it but I am not very happy to put that on him so I didn't yesterday as it didn't look so bad then. So OH put some on last night and put Seb back in his woombie so that he couldn't scratch at all. They both were wide awake again at 4 which is their new thing I guess but OH left them on their own and they dropped off by themselves again

Now though all this made me feel very happy, I was reminded of that wonderweek chart. According to that and with the 3 weeks adjustment for their early birth, the boys are now ca 22 weeks and a bit old which means we were in a honeymoon period right now and are headed towards hell again in the next few days and it is meant to last ca 4 weeks. Has this all been accurate for your LOs ladies? Our sleep regression certainly started way earlier and lasted longer than it should have according to the chart and that is the only thing that gives me hope.