is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[chocolala]

I'm sure you might think I am mad for coming on here when my mum is so ill but it's such a release for me.
To update you- my mum was rushed into instensive care after the op at 1.30am. it turns out she had a perforated colon. she is still currently on life support and it is very very serious. I am beside myself with worry and having to also look ater my Lucy makes it so much harder for me.
I have been crying all day and haven't hardly slept
I just want my mummy
pray for her ladies...please.
xxx

Thinking of you and your mum

 

[chocolala]

Morning ladies.

We had a good night last night, which I was very grateful for as the previous night was shocking, lily had the beginnings of a cold and obviously wasn't feeling well so kept waking, often crying and then refusing boob so had to be rocked, was just a bad night and I barely got any sleep. So I had two nights of very little sleep, yet the husband kept complaining how tired he was, I nearly punched him when I declared at 8:30 that I was going to bed he had to ask why!

Anyway, last night I gave lily a dose of calpol and started trying to feed her to sleep, she her usual fighting it b*llocks despite being exhausted. I tried putting her in her cot a couple of times in the vain hope she'd go to sleep, but she just cried, so I'd end up feeding her again. I got fed up of this so I put her in her cot again, to which she cried, but I tried stroking her hair, which had soothed her the previous night, but she was having none of it in her cot, so I tried stroking her ear, which always relaxes her and sends her into a daze she only bloody fell asleep!!!!! I'm counting this as self settling, only the 5th time in her whole life shes done it and the last time was 6 months ago! I don't know if it was the osteo the day before or the calpol which helped though. She then stayed asleep for just over an hour, again something she has done of an evening for a long while

I think she only woke 6 times, it may even have been less than that. So I got blocks of roughly 2 hours and woke for the day at 7:30. So all in all a good night!

I'm so chuffed, but I'm really hoping it wasn't a fluke and she does it again tonight!

 

[kosh]

that sounds really good chocolala!!
and it def counts as self-soothing to me anything that is not rocking/nursing to sleep is self-soothing!!

 

[chocolala]

that sounds really good chocolala!!
and it def counts as self-soothing to me anything that is not rocking/nursing to sleep is self-soothing!!

It seems funny counting only waking 6 times and being able to sleep for 2 hours at a time as a good night

 

[chistiana]

Kosh-i was hanging around and saw the thread in the unread posts area and obviously i thought "yay at last a thread for my crappy sleeper!"!

Firefly-it is indeed so much nicer to know i m not alone...it gives me hope this will pass at some point...so many mamas cant not sleep forever right?

Claire- thinking of your mum, hope you ve had some good news there.

Ladies quick question-do you think it will impossible for me to get her to her own room and bed if i let her sleep in my bed for now? It is the only way i can sleep even just the tiny bit longer.

 

[AngelUK]

Claire how is your mum today? I am thinking of you both and sending loads of

Chistiana, I think you should do what ever works to make your LO sleep but I do think that she will be starting to expect to sleep with you and not like it when you try to put her in her own bed at some time down the line. It is a vicious circle

As for us, horrible night! Dom was soooo unsettled that both OH and I only got to bed at 1 and that was only after feeding Dom. And even then OH says he was up every hour. We even put him back in the woombie since in the sleeping bag he seems to flail about with his arms a lot and doesn't know what to do with them when he lies on his side.

I talked to my best friend last night (who hasn't got any kids obviously) and she actually thought that if what the GP and the midwife recommended, (solids for Dom before bedtime) didn't work I should call them again and tell them so that they can give me another solution. I would laugh if I weren't so depressed. She really didn't believe me that there IS NO CURE! :sob: It peed me off a lil bit too. She is a lovely girl but kinda opinionated and did she really think that after 6 months of thinking about nothing as much as sleep I didn't research and try absofrickinglutely everything?! GAHH! And she even had an opinion on CIO which I personally don't think any non-mother/father is entitled to, no matter if she is for it or against it. But maybe that is just me. (She is for it btw) I changed the subject in the end cause I didn't want to get into an argument with her. She cannot possibly understand and since she would dearly love to have kids but cannot due to her health, I tend to pussyfoot around such issues with her anyway. But well, it didn't help my mood.

When I talked to OH this morning about how many babies don't sleep well till 1 year to convey my down feeling about it all, he cheerfully said, ah well that means we are half way through it now! GRRR! But he was the one swearing under his breath last night when trying to settle Dom and he was the one getting really het up even though he knows it is not Dom's fault and he would like to sleep.
Sorry ladies for the long rant. I am on AF and feeling crap and hopeless, no doubt as a result. xxx

 

[kosh]

have you ladies seen this articles? i thought they were interesting and made me feel a bit better (no idea why!)

https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleepstudies/

angel - i used to be like your friend, i used to have opinions about things i actually had no idea about! i really don't know how my best friend didn't kill me!

christiana - we co-sleep too, as I wouldn't survive otherwise. tbh I don't think it will be impossible to move him to his cot later on, as long as I don't try to force it on him when he's not ready. I am prepared to wait so I don't see it as a big problem.
We're moving houses soon and he'll have his own room, so I plan to see if he settles for naps there first
I am very surprised at how much he changed re. settling for bedtime- he used to need BF and rocking, and if he was not 100% asleep, he'd scream/wake up the second I'd put him down. Now he feeds, then plays/chats a little bit and if I try to rock him he pushes away - he wants to lay on the bed next to me, and there he tosses and turns until he falls asleep.
So I expect that at some point he will want to be in his room/cot (provided I give him the opportunity, of course)

 

[chistiana]

angel- what is a woombie? is it like a swaddle or something?swaddling had helped with natalies sleeping for a while but then she started fighting it off as we re in greece and it was really really warm. so let me get this...does one of your twins sleep well and the other not?

Kosh- i would love to just let her co sleep for as long as she wanted but my son is becoming a little bit gealous...we never let him sleep with us before 6am so it s really not fair we re letting her co sleep...ggrrrmffff...but it just allows me to feed her lying next to her and it is so much easier..sob..i think she s coming down with the flu now...she s been crying and straining for hours...

 

[AngelUK]

Chistiana yes one of my twins, Sebastian, sleeps like an angel. I put him down in his cot, he turns his little face to the side and off he goes A woombie is a kind of swaddle yes but one with a zip, here is a picture. They aren't very thick and some of them count as little as 0.5 tog but I can imagine that this would still be too much for a Greek summer. Btw I love your avvie! Soo sweet your little ones

 

[kosh]

ohhh i didn't realise you had two! (yes, should look at your avatar...)
i guess that's different, how old is your son?

 

[Jellysecret]

Oh Claire, sorry to hear your mum is so ill. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through! I hope she has a speedy recovery from her operation x

Over the past couple of weeks we've had a whole range of different nights. The best being a couple of wake ups but going back to sleep without me even getting up. At worst being hour wake ups with a 2 hour awake period and awake for the day at 5:20. On average though we are 3-4 wake ups with a more often than not 2 hour awake session.

I'm just at a loss as to what I do differently on the days she does/doesn't sleep. I've tried to be consistent with naps, cut food out my diet that I think effects lo and the same with her meals too. It's just completly random.

I've also decided to give up breastfeeding, I'm cutting down gradually and trying to move her onto formula and a sippy cup. I'm hardly eating or drinking anything as in the back of my mind I think it'll make her not sleep and its just making me ill.

So far tonight I've had half hour sleep, she woke not long after we went to bed and is just started to go off again now, very unsettled though

 

[AngelUK]

Worst night in a long time! I was up every hour at best, ever 30 at worst and at 5:30 Dom sprung a really bad leak so I had to change him completely and put him in a fresh sleeping bag. I think he has now dropped off, almost an hour and half later. I am soooo tired! And I just know that Sebastian will be up in 20 minutes ready to start the day. I want to cry I am so tired. And OH has to go to one of his mum's houses today and collect rent so that he will be gone from 8:30 till afternoon. No relief there either.

 

[chistiana]

Angel-ow it must be so annoying...if only dominic took some sleep lessons...!!!thanks, we re lucky that nicolas loves his sis...i had expected him beeing a little devil with her but he s proved me wrong until now! Is the baby in the pic one of your twins? Does dominic fight the woombie?

Kosh-yes two and wish i had/have many more!! Nikolas is 2 years and 4 months, natalia 4 months...they were born on the same day 2 years apart and natalia was a premie...what are the chances huh?!

So how was your sleep last night ladies? Nat was tossing and excusey language farting aaaalllll night long!

 

[AngelUK]

My avvie is of both my twins yes. Dominic doesn't fight the woombie but he does stir and toss and turn just as much. But at least he cannot knock out his dummy as when he has his arms free. Saying that, I am not too keen on putting him back in his woombie permanently cause he is almost 6 months and surely he needs to learn how to sleep like a big boy?
We have had Sebastian in his woombie again for the last two nights so that he cannot scratch his face. He has eczema and the other morning his earlobe was bleeding as he had scratched soo much Poor little boy! Will put him in his sleeping bag again when the eczema is a bit better.

 

[chistiana]

Ooowww they re both gorgeous! Poor thing, hope he gets better soon. And i totally know what you mean about the woombie...it is getting cooler here now but i m still not very keen on using the swaddle us, i feel it might end up being a sort of addiction for her... No swadle no sleep sort of.

 

[firefly15]

Massively frustrating day for us. LO is ill AGAIN, this time with a horrible wheezy chesty sounding cough he seems fine in himself, really happy and playful but why can we not get a break with him being ill? I think he might also be trying to drop his morning nap as the last week has been a total nightmare with him fighting both really badly and then going to bed at least an hour later than is normal for him. Just when I think I have at least one part of his sleep sorted I have to start all over again. Not really sure whether to drop the morning nap completely cold turkey and see how he does or try to phase it out more gradually? We dropped the third nap with no phasing out but that was mainly because I hadn't realised for ages that he was trying to drop it

Only just got him to bed and feeling soooo down in the dumps and frustrated tonight

 

[flippityflop]

Ah Firefly I feel for you. My LO is ill AGAIN too. 3rd cold in 3 weeks. We've been up sick 3.55am and he has napped for a grand total of 38 minutes today. Thankfully he went to sleep by himself at 7 but have already rocked him back to sleep twice (now 8.45). He has been grumpy all day and it has been the longest day. I'm not expecting a good night which is worrying since OH starts a new job in the morning and he needs a god nights sleep.

 

[lisa1980]

Firefly, Flippity, something must be in the water because my LO is also sick again.

Just when we got over the poo extravaganza he started to get a bit sniffly and has now developed a full-on cold with fever (again! I'm keeping the makers of Calpol in profit), blocked nose etc etc. He's been up hourly all night as he just can't breathe when lying down so we're co-sleeping propped up in crazy positions just to try and ease it a bit. Not comfortable.

I blame baby groups. We went to a new one last week locally as we moved fairly recently so I'm sure he picked it up there. I'm pleased for his immune system but in all other respects it sucks.

He's asleep now after me squirting industrial amounts of saline up his nose and habing him in the bath all evening to try to loosen his chest a bit so we'll see how it goes but I'm not hopeful.

Fingers crossed you all have a good night.

Claire - Hope your mum is doing well

Angel and Jelly for the bad night. Hope tonight is better.

 

[firefly15]

We've also just had the second wake up since he went to bed...and I spoke too soon. He is not a happy boy now at all. Full of snot and really wheezy, really upset and can't settle. Have given him some calpol in the hope that it will at least take the edge off whatever he has.

Flippity, I'm really sorry to hear your LO is ill again too. Sounds like we're both in for long nights at this rate. You must be exhausted after the day you've had though. I at least have the benefit of last night not being that horrendous and OH let me lie in this moring so got another 1.5 hours which I really needed. Really hope your LO is so tired that he sleeps well when he finally settles down a bit and you can at least get a few hours sleep in

Lisa, just seen your post too and sorry to hear that you also have a poorly LO. There really is a lot doing the rounds and I agree that baby groups are to blame! We've just restarted after the summer break and now he has this horrible thing to add to the collection. Our poor bubbas

 

[Claireyb1]

Sorry for the bad nights and poorly babies!
Just popped by to update on my Mum.
She is still stable, still on the ventilator and is still sedated so is not concious.
The important bit is that she has not deteriorated. I just pray that she can come back from this and we can put our lives back together.
My little Lucy has been pretty good with naps and nightime sleep. Not great, but certainly not awful. I don't think I could cope right now.
All rules and routine are a bit out the window at the moment and it doesn't seem to be having too much of a negative effect.
I do feel a bit guilty that I am not going to be able to do many baby things (play groups etc) in the coming weeks with the whole Mum/hospital thing. I hope it won't matter for a little while?!

Thanks again for your kind thoughts.