is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[Claireyb1]

can i have a rant/vent?

i just spent the last hour and a half trying to get LO back to sleep. he went to bed at 8:30pm,woke up at 11pm to feed as usual, fell asleep ok, and then 5-10min later he was up again . fully awake. but tired and rubbing his eyes. nothing worked. i nursed him again. nope. i rocked him. nope. put him down. he was fine for 3 minutes then started to fight sleep. i rocked him again. put him down. started maoning which turned into crying. rocked. put down. tried to crawl. tried to talk. rubbed his eyes. screamed. etc etc etc etc
i guess that the fact i was crying at the same time was prob not helping either he finally collapsed in our bed in a rather unsafe position but i was worried he'd wake up if i moved him so i left him
since he's been ill his sleep has gone back to square one. he's doing one 2hr stretch and then waking hourly. he needs rocking or being in my arms
wtf have i done wrong?? he's 9months and wakes every two hours to feed, stays awake for hrs, needs rocking, etc etc etc, surely this can't be normal?
i don't expect him to STTN but not to sleep worse than a newborn AGAIN!
'm back to work in less than 2 weeks, how on earth am i going to cope? DH is totally useless (partly my fault) and does not understand how upsetting LO's bad sleep is (let alone tiring).
i can't take it anymore

Oh Kosh, I feel your pain,I really do! last night I had a 1 1/2 hour battle with LO to get her to sleep - just awful! nothing worked,not even the magic booby! then it was 1-2 hour wakings
I too cannot understand why this is happening to a 9 month old? I also commented to my mum that I am having less sleep than when she was a newborn.Luckily my mum understands as I was a nighmare sleeper too
I really do feel at the moment that I am not coping very well.
To top it off I feel as if I let LO down recently by not taking her to more baby groups etc. It dawned on me the other day that I haven't made any mummy friends,apart from ones I already knew (a couple) and I am so worried that come her 1st birthday I won't have any little baby friends to invite?!
I guess I could have a virtual BnB party instead joking aside I do feel this is bad and I am letting her down. I wish all you ladies just lived round the corner
The weekend is almost over and I have another hard week ahead
when will this all end.
Hugs to all the crap sleepers mummys

 

[Claireyb1]

well LO woke every two hours (or less) all night and then at 6:15am woke but could not go back to sleep, I was sooo tired/upset that I refused to get up and spent almost 1hr trying to get him to go back to sleep he finally did at about 7am it seems he woke for the day at around 9ish.I say it seems because i was so exhausted I didn't even hear him. until i heard this loud 'thump' - he'd fallen off the the bed
needless to say I feel cr@p

Don't worry Kosh,Lucy has fallen/slid off the bed a couple of times. These things happen and they are tougher than they look.

 

[kosh]

i too wish we lived closer! if it is any consolation i have no (zero) mummy friends IRL

at least you mum understands you. in my case, i was either a really good sleeper or my mum has lost her memory, as she's shocked at my LO's sleep. the other day she asked me when i would stop BF at night. as if it was only my choice

 

[flippityflop]

I haven't posted in a long time as I don't have much to say but I still always read the posts. Our sleep is fine, not perfect but certainly easily livable.

Kosh and Firefly. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can hear the desperation in your posts and I remember that feeling so well. I really don't have anything to suggest other than what I've done and I know that's not for you. Can you ask to see a pediatrician? My doc referred us but we didn't end up going (although it was a 50 day wait for an appt)

Claireyb -nights to you. You are going through a hard time and doing the best you Can so don't feel like you are letting anyone down.

Lisa - yay to STTN. I often wonder if I should cap naps. But I can't bring myself to do it! Although if he sleeps for the 3 hrs I think he needs a day and no more or less he does STTN and doesnt wake at 5am. The other day he napped for about 5 hrs in the day and as I was doing stuff I let him sleep. It came back to bite me in the arse at night and a 4.30am start!!

You may remember we had to get rid of our rescue dog. Unfortunately we couldn't find her a new home. The rescue centre wouldn't take her back as they said she would be too hard to rehome and would live her life in kennel. We tried 4 other rescues and a few rehoming adverts but with no luck. It would have been cruel to stick her in a cage forever after a family home and she would have required a very particular environment for rehoming. We had to put her to sleep. I was and still am devastated. My OH took her in. He said it was horrible but quick. Our house feels so empty and quiet now even though we still have a dog.

Back to work in 2 weeks. Feel physically sick.

Oh but LO finally got a tooth! Top right one, the little odd bod.

 

[kosh]

OMG flippity,I am so so sorry about your dog

 

[Claireyb1]

I haven't posted in a long time as I don't have much to say but I still always read the posts. Our sleep is fine, not perfect but certainly easily livable.

Kosh and Firefly. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can hear the desperation in your posts and I remember that feeling so well. I really don't have anything to suggest other than what I've done and I know that's not for you. Can you ask to see a pediatrician? My doc referred us but we didn't end up going (although it was a 50 day wait for an appt)

Claireyb -nights to you. You are going through a hard time and doing the best you Can so don't feel like you are letting anyone down.

Lisa - yay to STTN. I often wonder if I should cap naps. But I can't bring myself to do it! Although if he sleeps for the 3 hrs I think he needs a day and no more or less he does STTN and doesnt wake at 5am. The other day he napped for about 5 hrs in the day and as I was doing stuff I let him sleep. It came back to bite me in the arse at night and a 4.30am start!!

You may remember we had to get rid of our rescue dog. Unfortunately we couldn't find her a new home. The rescue centre wouldn't take her back as they said she would be too hard to rehome and would live her life in kennel. We tried 4 other rescues and a few rehoming adverts but with no luck. It would have been cruel to stick her in a cage forever after a family home and she would have required a very particular environment for rehoming. We had to put her to sleep. I was and still am devastated. My OH took her in. He said it was horrible but quick. Our house feels so empty and quiet now even though we still have a dog.

Back to work in 2 weeks. Feel physically sick.

Oh but LO finally got a tooth! Top right one, the little odd bod.

Oh Flippity, I am so sorry about your dog! that was a really heartbreaking and tough decision you had to make, but ultimately you made the best choice for your family and the dogs quality of life. It is no life for a dog in a cage. Please don't beat yourself up too much about it.

I must ask, how on earth do you get your LO to nap for 5 hrs??!!!!! I am lucky if I get her to nap for a total of 2 hrs! mostly it only turns out to be 1hr 45mins how can I get her to nap longer??

 

[lisa1980]

Oh no Flippity! I'm so sorry to hear about your dog but from what you've described you really had no choice as the alternative was unthinkable. I know it doesn't make it any easier though Yay for the tooth...now you can start feeding him steak

Claire - my LO was always a 30min napper from day one and nothing i did helped to extend this. Then one day he randomly started napping for at least an hour each time. I had done nothing differently so I guess it's an individual thing again (which is no help, sorry but wanted you to know that you're not doing anything 'wrong' to cause the short naps)

I really shouldn't be posting on here any more as I can no longer complain about LO's sleep. Even though he still wakes most nights it's NOTHING like it used to be, but I remember vividly the desperation I felt, so I'm refusing to leave this thread until we ALL get to start a new Woo Hoo one. Which we WILL get to do at some point. Solidarity, that's the way I reckon. They will all sttn in turn through sheer force of will from an internet forum thread

 

[Claireyb1]

Thanks Lisa, it's good to know that others were/are the same and that LO might start to nap longer at some point!!!

I think it is good for us mums that are still going through the cr@p nights to still hear from the mums who have come out the other side, it gives us a good reminder that there is indeed light at the end of this loooooong sleepless tunnel! lol I know it gives me hope,so I hope it does for the others too.

 

[kosh]

Oh no Flippity! I'm so sorry to hear about your dog but from what you've described you really had no choice as the alternative was unthinkable. I know it doesn't make it any easier though Yay for the tooth...now you can start feeding him steak

Claire - my LO was always a 30min napper from day one and nothing i did helped to extend this. Then one day he randomly started napping for at least an hour each time. I had done nothing differently so I guess it's an individual thing again (which is no help, sorry but wanted you to know that you're not doing anything 'wrong' to cause the short naps)

I really shouldn't be posting on here any more as I can no longer complain about LO's sleep. Even though he still wakes most nights it's NOTHING like it used to be, but I remember vividly the desperation I felt, so I'm refusing to leave this thread until we ALL get to start a new Woo Hoo one. Which we WILL get to do at some point. Solidarity, that's the way I reckon. They will all sttn in turn through sheer force of will from an internet forum thread

awww lisa, thank you!
(so, how many times is he waking up now?)

claire - mine was same as lisa just described: a 30min napper for months, and then one day he started to sleep longer. again i did nothing (although i had previously tried everything to get him to sleep longer! )
strange yours hasn't done it yet,given ours seem to be so similar

---
eta: no time atm but I will reply to your PM soon

 

[flippityflop]

He, like the others, just started napping longer. It was after the cc that he started doing it so I'm guessing that helped but I never had to do cc for naps. Some days he does have awful naps but generally he has 2 x 90 mins these days. The 5 hrs was over 2 naps. I think my LO sleeps longer because he is trying to move and is teething rather than it keep him awake. Maybe. Who knows???

 

[lisa1980]

Oh no Flippity! I'm so sorry to hear about your dog but from what you've described you really had no choice as the alternative was unthinkable. I know it doesn't make it any easier though Yay for the tooth...now you can start feeding him steak

Claire - my LO was always a 30min napper from day one and nothing i did helped to extend this. Then one day he randomly started napping for at least an hour each time. I had done nothing differently so I guess it's an individual thing again (which is no help, sorry but wanted you to know that you're not doing anything 'wrong' to cause the short naps)

I really shouldn't be posting on here any more as I can no longer complain about LO's sleep. Even though he still wakes most nights it's NOTHING like it used to be, but I remember vividly the desperation I felt, so I'm refusing to leave this thread until we ALL get to start a new Woo Hoo one. Which we WILL get to do at some point. Solidarity, that's the way I reckon. They will all sttn in turn through sheer force of will from an internet forum thread

awww lisa, thank you!
(so, how many times is he waking up now?)

claire - mine was same as lisa just described: a 30min napper for months, and then one day he started to sleep longer. again i did nothing (although i had previously tried everything to get him to sleep longer! )
strange yours hasn't done it yet,given ours seem to be so similar

---
eta: no time atm but I will reply to your PM soon

He's tending to wake up once per night at around 4am (bed time is 8-8.30pm) but is re-settling quickly with a sip of water and a cuddle, then going back into his cot (AWAKE!!) and going off to sleep on his own without any fuss at all when I leave the room (this is new...he used to shout the place down and I'd have to wait until he was fully asleep and creep out, then after our jaunt into CC he toned it down to just a whinge or two, but now not a peep ). A few nights he hasn't woken until 6-6.30am and on the odd occasion he'll sleep until we wake him up. I've realised that he sleeps much better in his own cot which is motivation for me NOT to just bring him into our bed at 4am as I always would before just to try and get back to sleep asap. The longer I seem to spend with him when he wakes, the worse he then sleeps for some reason. A quick cuddle and kiss and a sip of water and back down within 5 mins seems to work much better for us now.

He's not yet a regular sttn-er as defined by no wake-ups causing me to have to get out of bed (and I'd bet that many on baby club would be bemoaning the ONE wake up at his age ) but that was never really my goal. I just needed it to get better, and tbh I didn't expect such a dramatic improvement in so little time. I've made a pact with myself to never, ever complain about being exhausted when I've had more than 3 hours sleep in a row...since having LO I now appreciate the TRUE meaning of exhausted so will use the word sparingly (and rugby tackle anyone who says they're exhausted because their LO wakes up once or twice per night :winkwink )

 

[lisa1980]

Oh, and I meant to say, to those returning to work soon. I'm going back next month and am bricking it.

Everyone keeps saying it'll be good for me, and maybe it will (it'll be nice to use my brain for something other than working out how to out-wit a toddler ) but I'm still filled with dread. It's keeping me awake at night even when LO is asleep. The irony is painful.

 

[Gemmamuk]

I'm so jealous... Alex only ever naps for 20 mins once a day, occasionally twice if I'm very lucky but only maybe once a week!

 

[Claireyb1]

When will my roller coaster life get back to normal??!! my Mum has had to be taken back in to hospital by ambulance again. This time with tummy pains and bleeding I just don't know how much more of this I can physically take along with the sleep deprevation

 

[kosh]

oh claire, i'm so sorry to hear your mum is poorly again!!
i really wish we were closer so maybe i could give you a hand (and a shoulder)!
load of

 

[kosh]

we've been to the nursery yesterday. he'll have a 'mature' lady as a key worker, which is exactly what i wanted. we stayed for 2hoursand LO even had tea with all the other kids, it was soooo sweet to see him sitting on the little chair around the tiny table!
i must admit i felt i'd be really happy if he went for 3-4hours a day. or just a few days a week. he'd start to socialize etc, and i'd have a bit of time for myself. what i still find very difficult to deal with is the 9-5 5 days a week

so lisa - if you are going back part time,maybe it's not that bad?

told them his sleeping 'habits' and they seemed ok with trying anything and everything to get him to sleep. for some reason i felt it would work and he'd be fine, maybe i was just deluding myself......


eta ---

oh, and I officially have a crawler now!!!

 

[Claireyb1]

oh claire, i'm so sorry to hear your mum is poorly again!!
i really wish we were closer so maybe i could give you a hand (and a shoulder)!
load of

It really is rubbish! my Brother went with her in the ambulance and I am waiting to hear from him when he knows anything.
I too wish you were closer. I was thinking yesterday when I was driving home (about the only time I get to think!) if there was anyway that I could somehow meet up with you and your LO,but I guess Newcastle is just a stretch too far?

 

[Claireyb1]

we've been to the nursery yesterday. he'll have a 'mature' lady as a key worker, which is exactly what i wanted. we stayed for 2hoursand LO even had tea with all the other kids, it was soooo sweet to see him sitting on the little chair around the tiny table!
i must admit i felt i'd be really happy if he went for 3-4hours a day. or just a few days a week. he'd start to socialize etc, and i'd have a bit of time for myself. what i still find very difficult to deal with is the 9-5 5 days a week

so lisa - if you are going back part time,maybe it's not that bad?

told them his sleeping 'habits' and they seemed ok with trying anything and everything to get him to sleep. for some reason i felt it would work and he'd be fine, maybe i was just deluding myself......


eta ---

oh, and I officially have a crawler now!!!

Yay for the crawling!!!

The nursery sounds like it was a good experience and I hope it makes you feel a little less rubbish about it all? Glad they are willing to try everything to get him to sleep.
"HAVING" to let control go might turn out to be a good thing for you both? I know that the only positive thing about my Mum being so ill was that I had to give my OH more responsibility with her and I have had to leave her for long periods (the longest I had left her before was 3 hrs when she was 7 months)
it proved to me that she wouldn't come to any harm without me and others could look after her (just not give her booby)

 

[kosh]

how's your mum claire?

 

[kosh]

question to all - do your LOs wake a while after bedtime (in our case 30min) crying really bad? I mean, like a very distressed cry. I used to think it was some type of pain,but now when it happens, I pick him up,give him a cuddle/rock and he's fine in 5min.
what is this??