is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[Gemmamuk]

Also.....can't believe my tiny baby who was in nicu is one!!!!! Where has the last year gone
Just can't get over the fact we have such a big strong health boy (aside from the cold lol!!!)

Every second of my 33 hour labour was worth it for my precious boy!!


On a positive note..after over 2 years of being out of work - it's looking rather positive that my OH has finally got a job - and a good one at that!!!
So badly don't want to jinx it and its a secret from friends and family but I just had to tell someone!!!!
I go back to work Monday but if he gets the job, we will have a race on our hands to find a childminder, then once he's passed his probation (fingers crossed!) he said I have 3 choices: 1) keep working (not really worth it after I've paid childminder fees!) 2) give up and look after Alex 3) stay and try for baby number 2 and get the 18 weeks full paid maternity leave, then quit!

Oooooh god please everyone keep everything crossed - we so badly need something good to happen and for something to finally go right. Apart from having Alex - we have had 3 years of disasters!!!!

Won't know much more until the end of the week though

 

[Claireyb1]

Also.....can't believe my tiny baby who was in nicu is one!!!!! Where has the last year gone
Just can't get over the fact we have such a big strong health boy (aside from the cold lol!!!)

Every second of my 33 hour labour was worth it for my precious boy!!


On a positive note..after over 2 years of being out of work - it's looking rather positive that my OH has finally got a job - and a good one at that!!!
So badly don't want to jinx it and its a secret from friends and family but I just had to tell someone!!!!
I go back to work Monday but if he gets the job, we will have a race on our hands to find a childminder, then once he's passed his probation (fingers crossed!) he said I have 3 choices: 1) keep working (not really worth it after I've paid childminder fees!) 2) give up and look after Alex 3) stay and try for baby number 2 and get the 18 weeks full paid maternity leave, then quit!

Oooooh god please everyone keep everything crossed - we so badly need something good to happen and for something to finally go right. Apart from having Alex - we have had 3 years of disasters!!!!

Won't know much more until the end of the week though

That's really great news!!! I really hope he gets it!!!!
How do you feel about TTC with Alex being a poor sleeper? I just don't think I could cope right now

 

[kosh]

happy birthday Alex!

fingers and toes crossed gemma your OH will get the job!!!

 

[Ramie]

Hope you OH gets the job Gemma, sounds good! Will be great if you could be a sahm. I'm with Clairey with her question about trying for another with a poor sleeper? I think it would break me! xx

 

[Gemmamuk]

Thanks guys - should know more next week.

I'm really torn to be honest - I've always wanted more than 1, and didnt want a big gap but its a pretty scary prospect to be actually planning a baby (Alex was a HUGE, but lovely surprise! Lol).
On one hand I think if I'm up for one, I may as well be up for two. But then Alex has only just started sleeping slightly better and I think I need a bit of a break.

I'm also kind of looking forward to having adult conversations again. I've been lucky enough to have OH off with me the last year so it hasn't been too bad, but if he goes to work and I'm a SAHM it would just be me and Alex for the majority of every day and not really any baby groups I could go to? Although I hate my job and work with morons so will probably get more intellegant conversation from Alex!!!! Lol

Alex is such a high maintenance baby that I'm thinking it will be a nightmare getting him to learn to share my attention?

My SIL helps me out massively and has him oveenight every now and again, about once or twice a month since November, and said she may not be able to cope with 2, and I should focus on Alex for a year and give him all my love and attention and then try for another, but he would be 3 then by the time I have another?
I know its not her choice, but I'm very conscious that Alex has been a very difficult baby, with his reflux and sleeping issues, and no doubt wouldn't have coped without her support (she often took him out for a walk or to town to give me a break), and while my OH has had good intentions, his 'help' is often more of a hinderance. I'm worried that if I have another, and don't have her full support and am 'blessed' with another non-sleeper, ill completely lose it lol

Lots of reasons in my head, thinking practically, telling me not to. But in my heart, I'm dying for another precious baby to love, although I'm worried that I love Alex so much, I could never love another baby as much??

 

[Gemmamuk]

Money is also worrying me - through the last year I've paid all the bills and supported my OH and and oaid for all xmas/bday presents throughout the year. he has just occasionally used money from his savings to pay for the odd bit of shopping or takeaways, and my Xmas/bday pressies.
I'm worried that if I was off, and he was working, he wouldn't be as 'free' with his money and while I know he would cover the bills, I'm not sure he would be happy giving me money for my clothes and other people's Xmas pressies etc....? He is very 'tight' with his money and I haven't got any savings as fall back, having spent them all funding us this year....

 

[kosh]

Lots of reasons in my head, thinking practically, telling me not to. But in my heart, I'm dying for another precious baby to love, although I'm worried that I love Alex so much, I could never love another baby as much??

funny you say this Gemma as I wonder/worry about it too. In fact the other day I asked my best friend (who has a 8yo boy and a 2yo girl) to be honest with me and tell me if it is actually possible to love your 2nd baby as much as the 1st one. she said she had the same worry! but that believe it or not you do love them as much. Said something I though it was very nice - that your love doesn't divide, but it multiplies (even thought you would not think that is possible!)

 

[Gemmamuk]

your love doesn't divide, but it multiplies (even thought you would not think that is possible!)

Ahhhh that's lovely!!!

 

[AngelUK]

Take it from a mum of twins! I love my boys soo much it hurts! I didn't even know I had it in me to adore anything as much as I love them. I used to think, before I got pregnant, that I couldn't love a baby more than my kitty. And while I still say I adored her beyond belief, it is nothing in comparison to how I love my boys! Love expands, it is not finite.

But as for your tight OH. ! Would he really not give you enough money for you to be able to buy clothes?? Maybe you should make him set up a direct debit to your account with a sum you both agree on and then what you do with the money is up to you. But it would have to be enough for you not to have to scrimp and save beyond reason!
Hope you get that sorted. If you want another baby then go for it You are sleepless anyway lol

 

[kosh]

Take it from a mum of twins! I love my boys soo much it hurts! I didn't even know I had it in me to adore anything as much as I love them. I used to think, before I got pregnant, that I couldn't love a baby more than my kitty. And while I still say I adored her beyond belief, it is nothing in comparison to how I love my boys! Love expands, it is not finite.

oh, that's true, you have them both now so how does it feel with twins angel? do you love them both in the same way? I mean is there anything different about how you feel towards Dom and towards Seb? I guess it probably has to be with their personalities?

I am the same, I never thought I could love anything as much as I love Gael. I am utterly in love with him and it does hurt!

---ETA
other thing I notice is that I love him a little bit more every day!!

 

[Ramie]

Gosh ladies, reading all these posts about love made me well up

 

[AngelUK]

kosh no I can honestly say that I love them both the same. I mean I feel that swelling of the heart and the incredible protectiveness and almost tearful gratitude for each one the same. But what is different it how they get to me every day, making me weak at the knees sort of thing. OH sums it up this way, Dominic is charming and Sebastian is enchanting. Dominic has an incredibly sunny and jolly personality and he has this way of smiling at you with his sunny eyes that you cannot help but smile back. Sebastian is much more fragile, he is shy and more "clingy". He reminds me of a little pixie with his huge eyes. He isn't so boisterous as Dom but when he delicately grabs my face and pulls it towards his and then leans his face against mine, I could just cry with love

 

[kosh]

kosh no I can honestly say that I love them both the same. I mean I feel that swelling of the heart and the incredible protectiveness and almost tearful gratitude for each one the same. But what is different it how they get to me every day, making me weak at the knees sort of thing. OH sums it up this way, Dominic is charming and Sebastian is enchanting. Dominic has an incredibly sunny and jolly personality and he has this way of smiling at you with his sunny eyes that you cannot help but smile back. Sebastian is much more fragile, he is shy and more "clingy". He reminds me of a little pixie with his huge eyes. He isn't so boisterous as Dom but when he delicately grabs my face and pulls it towards his and then leans his face against mine, I could just cry with love

gael does this too

 

[AngelUK]

Best thing ever isn't it?

 

[firefly15]

:wave: Hello ladies! I After seeing the new osteopath 4 times we had a blissful month with LO waking a maximum of 3 times a night I thought I was in heaven and the osteopath is, quite frankly, a total miracle worker. All was good until we had molars start to move and come through For the last 3 weeks LO has been up for 3 hours in the middle of the night almost Every. Single. Night. NOTHING we did would get him back to sleep. No nurofen, calpol, teething gels, granules, rocking, cuddling, music...you name it, it failed. He was shattered and wanted to go back to sleep but just couldn't and would scream the house down if we left the room. I actually thought I was going to go insane from tiredness - multiple wakings at night are bad enough but most of the time he'd always go back down within 20 minutes, but 3 hours awake every night? Awful. OH had to help as I just couldn't do it on my own and luckily he was off work for 2 of those weeks. So three weeks of teething hell have produced one sodding molar that is only half way through

The good news is that the last couple of nights have been better with only 2 or 3 wakings and settling quite easily (thank god). Not sure if it's because the teeth are causing less problems or whether exhaustion has finally got the better of him and he has no choice but to sleep for a few nights!! I am really hoping that we're over the worst beccause I really don't think that I can cope with more of the same.

Hope everyone starts to see some improvements with the sleep soon

Hi Firefly, sorry to see you again (in the nicest possible sense,as you are clearly not in the blissful sttn stage yet!)
No advice for you or anyone else as I am in an equally dreadful position with Lucy's sleep.
Just nice to get the support from you ladies!
What has the osteopath done do you think to help LO's sleep? Lucy saw a chiropractor when she was a few months and it did naff all.
How many of our LO's have the ability to self soothe/settle??? my Lucy can't seem to do it, but I am increasingly thinking that I am not helping the situation??

Hugs to everyone!

Re the osteopath - when we took LO he told us that he could feel strain patterns from the forceps delivery and slight misalignments of some of the bones in the head from being stuck in the birth canal for so long. No idea what he actually did but the result was (apparently) releasing the tensions he could feel and re-aligning the bones. It really did make a noticeable difference after the appointments so I'm convinced it helped!

Unfortunately we are still in sleep hell. LO just will not go to sleep, he sceams blue murder unless you hold him until he is sound, sound asleep and if he wakes in the night it's becoming impossible to get him back to sleep. This obviously is really bad given how often he bloody wakes up. I actually feel like I'm reaching the end of my rope here. OH has been really good with helping and he has a lot more success getting LO back to sleep than I do, but neither of us can cope with being up for hours on end in the middle of the night.

I'm thinking of taking LO to the dr tomorrow to check (again) for an ear infection but I'm completely at a loss as to why the sleep is just so much worse than it was before.

 

[kosh]

so sorry to hear you're having such a bad time firefly
as you said i can more or less cope with 1000s wakes per night but when they stay awake and can;t go back to sleep, that is soul distroying.
hope he starts to get better again

 

[flippityflop]

Hello ladies
I'm so sorry to see this thread is still up and running. I obviously don't post anymore as Cormac is pretty good most of the time. On bad nights when I have to sleep sitting up with him as he can't be put down I often think if you ladies. Generally we have 1 bad night in 14 so I can't complain. He is growing so much and is just a little pickle. Happy Birthday to all those that just turned 1 - its time to start sleeping now little ones! xx

 

[kosh]

hi flippity was thinking of you the other day.
happy birthday cormac!

yep - some of us are still here...
and I have the feeling I'll be the last one to leave.....!!

 

[Claireyb1]

TO you Firefly! We are having terrible sleep here too so I know how bad you feel. It just seems never ending atm and I can't see sttn anytime soon??!!
xx

 

[firefly15]

I'm really sorry for the whinge that is about to happen but I don't have anyone else who actually understands how bad the bad sleep is...!

So last night was another horrendous night with loads of wake ups between bedtime and 4.15 and then at 4.15 he decided it was party time. Again. I nursed him, rocked him, sat with him laying on my chest/shoulder, played soothing music. Nothing. Nothing worked. At 6am I actually reached breaking point as this has been going on for 2 months now and I am beyond tired and so I did something horrible...I put him back in his cot, closed the door and left him to scream while I got back into bed to thaw out. I lasted 30 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore and went back in, at which point he was so exhausted from being awake so long and screaming his head off that he fell asleep after 10 minutes of rocking. But I left my baby to scream which I always said I'd never do

I just don't know what to do anymore, he's getting maybe 10/11 hours sleep a day at the moment which is loads less than he needs and nothing I do seems to be able to make this any better. I'm just praying that this is due to molars coming in (painfully slowly), because if it isn't and it doesn't end soon I actually feel like just walking out.

To put icing on the cake he also won't eat, drink anything other than milk from me and is nursing like a newborn. Surely at 15 months old he should be getting better, not worse???