is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[firefly15]

:wave: Hello ladies! I haven't managed to get onto bnb for such a long time. I was wondering whether there would be anyone left on this thread or if it would be blissfully quiet. Sorry to see that there are still babies stubbornly refusing to let us all sleep the way we'd like!

I've had a quick read through the posts so congrats chocolala! Everyone I know who had a baby who slept as badly as ours all seem to had a MUCH better sleeper the second time round so I will keep my fingers crossed that that's the case for you too! Also happy birthday Claire, hope you had a lovely day!

So my sleep update is this:
After seeing the new osteopath 4 times we had a blissful month with LO waking a maximum of 3 times a night I thought I was in heaven and the osteopath is, quite frankly, a total miracle worker. All was good until we had molars start to move and come through For the last 3 weeks LO has been up for 3 hours in the middle of the night almost Every. Single. Night. NOTHING we did would get him back to sleep. No nurofen, calpol, teething gels, granules, rocking, cuddling, music...you name it, it failed. He was shattered and wanted to go back to sleep but just couldn't and would scream the house down if we left the room. I actually thought I was going to go insane from tiredness - multiple wakings at night are bad enough but most of the time he'd always go back down within 20 minutes, but 3 hours awake every night? Awful. OH had to help as I just couldn't do it on my own and luckily he was off work for 2 of those weeks. So three weeks of teething hell have produced one sodding molar that is only half way through

The good news is that the last couple of nights have been better with only 2 or 3 wakings and settling quite easily (thank god). Not sure if it's because the teeth are causing less problems or whether exhaustion has finally got the better of him and he has no choice but to sleep for a few nights!! I am really hoping that we're over the worst beccause I really don't think that I can cope with more of the same.

Hope everyone starts to see some improvements with the sleep soon

 

[Claireyb1]

Hello everyone

Not been on here for a while but things still the same with me - still in sleep hell. Back to cosleeping but he's still going with the hourly or more frequent wakings, restless and crying and nothing I do seems to be good enough.

Happy birthday Clairey and congrats on your pregnancy Chocolala

Will try to keep posting as really need the support at the moment

Hi Ramie, sorry to hear you are still going through this hell! it is just rubbish isn't it?!
You say you are back to cosleeping, what happened before? was he in his cot in his own room? I'm cosleeping and still breastfeeding and I am wondering if this is just making things worse for LO? just don't know anymore?

Keep posting away as I really could do with all the support I can lay my hands on to!!!

 

[Claireyb1]

:wave: Hello ladies! I haven't managed to get onto bnb for such a long time. I was wondering whether there would be anyone left on this thread or if it would be blissfully quiet. Sorry to see that there are still babies stubbornly refusing to let us all sleep the way we'd like!

I've had a quick read through the posts so congrats chocolala! Everyone I know who had a baby who slept as badly as ours all seem to had a MUCH better sleeper the second time round so I will keep my fingers crossed that that's the case for you too! Also happy birthday Claire, hope you had a lovely day!

So my sleep update is this:
After seeing the new osteopath 4 times we had a blissful month with LO waking a maximum of 3 times a night I thought I was in heaven and the osteopath is, quite frankly, a total miracle worker. All was good until we had molars start to move and come through For the last 3 weeks LO has been up for 3 hours in the middle of the night almost Every. Single. Night. NOTHING we did would get him back to sleep. No nurofen, calpol, teething gels, granules, rocking, cuddling, music...you name it, it failed. He was shattered and wanted to go back to sleep but just couldn't and would scream the house down if we left the room. I actually thought I was going to go insane from tiredness - multiple wakings at night are bad enough but most of the time he'd always go back down within 20 minutes, but 3 hours awake every night? Awful. OH had to help as I just couldn't do it on my own and luckily he was off work for 2 of those weeks. So three weeks of teething hell have produced one sodding molar that is only half way through

The good news is that the last couple of nights have been better with only 2 or 3 wakings and settling quite easily (thank god). Not sure if it's because the teeth are causing less problems or whether exhaustion has finally got the better of him and he has no choice but to sleep for a few nights!! I am really hoping that we're over the worst beccause I really don't think that I can cope with more of the same.

Hope everyone starts to see some improvements with the sleep soon

Hi Firefly, sorry to see you again (in the nicest possible sense,as you are clearly not in the blissful sttn stage yet!)
No advice for you or anyone else as I am in an equally dreadful position with Lucy's sleep.
Just nice to get the support from you ladies!
What has the osteopath done do you think to help LO's sleep? Lucy saw a chiropractor when she was a few months and it did naff all.
How many of our LO's have the ability to self soothe/settle??? my Lucy can't seem to do it, but I am increasingly thinking that I am not helping the situation??

Hugs to everyone!

 

[Gemmamuk]

Hey ladies! Thought I'd post a quick update and congrats to chocolala!!!!!
Must admit I'm quite broody myself despite the exhaustion!!! Lol

Not been great here. No real pattern - every night is a different mix of crap
He is fighting sleep real bad and just wants to lay there holding my hand for hours while doing his best to keep his eyes as wide open as possible. It's taking an hour to get him off to sleep for 20-30 mins! We've had a few nights where he's woke every 20 mins from 7pm through to morning.
He's also had a few, including last night, where he osleeps relatively well and settles himself back to sleep so I only have to go in 2 or 3 times inbetween 7 and 3 - but then he has decided that's it and he wants to play and either tantrums because I won't let him, or he lays there staring me out!

Coupled with that, really bad insomnia (most days this week ice only had an hour or so after 6am ish!), the prospect of returning to work a week Friday, missing my nan and helping support my grandad and dad - I feel like I'm about to explode!!!!

He's also developed this really frustrated bark/scream that he does all day and is driving me round the bend because its just constant - if I pick him up, put him down, feed him. He screams whatever, meaning I can't get anything done in the day as he's screaming, and nothing done in the night cos he won't sleep and my house looks disgusting - and I have my family from wales descending on me Saturday for Alex's christening/1st birthday - and I've also got a huge buffet to make.

Shoot me now

Hope everyone else had a better night that the ones I'm having at the moment

 

[kosh]

hi ramie, firefly and gemma!
*nice* to hear from you, for a moment i thought it was just claire and me left!

 

[Ramie]

Hi Kosh and firefly good to get back on here as feel like no one in real life actually realises how bad the no sleep thing is, I'm sure people think I'm exaggerating.

Gemma - really sorry to hear about your nan and I know what you mean about having a filthy house, I've given up on trying to keep it clean now!

Claire - I coslept full time from birth until George was around 7 months, after that he did some stints in the cot but it nearly killed me going in and out of his room every hour all night. I then slept on the floor in his room but that wasn't much better so back to cosleeping all night, although he always starts off in the cot until I bring him in with me - usually when I go to bed. I'm still breastfeeding and he feeds on and off all night. I too think that I'm not helping the situation but don't know what else to do. I always wake up with a bad back from the awkward positions I've been lying in to feed him and sometimes I don't move due to the fear of waking him!

OH wants two LO's close together in age but I've told him I won't even consider having another until George starts to sleep better

 

[Ramie]

hi ramie, firefly and gemma!
*nice* to hear from you, for a moment i thought it was just claire and me left!

Haha, unfortunately I have a feeling I'm here for the long term x

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Hi girls, happy new year! I've been back in Scotland for the holidays and had no chance of posting. Now we're back in Italy and back to our terrible sleeping nightmare. When we were in Scotland LO slept so well, going down in her cot and only waking 2 or 3 times a night. We even had a 6 hour stretch one night! It was bliss! Back to Italy and LO is worse than ever, fighting sleep, waking regularly and taking ages to resettle. Last night she didn't go down til 1am, woke every hour until 6am when I gave up and decided we'd all just get up for the day. I'm exhausted.

So now we're trying to work out what is different between here and Scotland. The only thing I can come up with is that here the air is quite dry. I often have a dry scratchy throat at night. We're going to try a humidifier and see if it helps at all. Anyone else use a humidifier?

Congrats Chocolala on the pregnancy. We were going to start TTC this month but so far LO hasn't given us the chance to DTD!

 

[Ramie]

Hi MrsHedgehog,

Sorry to hear your bad nights are back. Interesting about the humidifier, I've heard a couple of people mention these, might do a bit of research into them.

Our night was dreadful. Took from 6.30 until 9 to get him to sleep then it was pretty much hourly wakings after that. We were both crying during the night (my OH was working away). I have horrible puffy eyes this morning and feel like utter s##t. Feel terrible as I've hardly spoke to LO, just done what I needed to do, nappy, breakfast (which he doesn't even eat) pah!

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi girls, happy new year! I've been back in Scotland for the holidays and had no chance of posting. Now we're back in Italy and back to our terrible sleeping nightmare. When we were in Scotland LO slept so well, going down in her cot and only waking 2 or 3 times a night. We even had a 6 hour stretch one night! It was bliss! Back to Italy and LO is worse than ever, fighting sleep, waking regularly and taking ages to resettle. Last night she didn't go down til 1am, woke every hour until 6am when I gave up and decided we'd all just get up for the day. I'm exhausted.

So now we're trying to work out what is different between here and Scotland. The only thing I can come up with is that here the air is quite dry. I often have a dry scratchy throat at night. We're going to try a humidifier and see if it helps at all. Anyone else use a humidifier?

Congrats Chocolala on the pregnancy. We were going to start TTC this month but so far LO hasn't given us the chance to DTD!

Hi MrsHedgehog, glad to see another friendly face (so to speak) sorry your back to rubbish sleep too
perhaps you are on to something with the air? my LO slept "better" when we were in Ireland back in May and the air was so fresh,or perhaps it was the fact we were doing lots???
wow you are ttc! hats off to you, the thought scares me as I don't know how I would cope with Lucy being such a bad sleeoer? I guess I will just have to be brave and do it as my clock is majorly ticking......turned 39 on Sat!

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi MrsHedgehog,

Sorry to hear your bad nights are back. Interesting about the humidifier, I've heard a couple of people mention these, might do a bit of research into them.

Our night was dreadful. Took from 6.30 until 9 to get him to sleep then it was pretty much hourly wakings after that. We were both crying during the night (my OH was working away). I have horrible puffy eyes this morning and feel like utter s##t. Feel terrible as I've hardly spoke to LO, just done what I needed to do, nappy, breakfast (which he doesn't even eat) pah!

to you Ramie on your night. just do what you can to get through the day with LO and hope for a better night tonight,sometimes that's all you can do. it's soooooo tough.

 

[Ramie]

to you Ramie on your night. just do what you can to get through the day with LO and hope for a better night tonight,sometimes that's all you can do. it's soooooo tough.

Thanks Clairey

We are supposed to be going to a party today but I really can't face it so heading over to my mums house, she said she'd take him out for a bit so I can have a nap....bliss!

 

[kosh]

mmm interesting about the air issue mr hedgehog....

i was wondering if it'd be helpful if each of us made a list of
1) things that they think maybe perhaps affect their LO's sleep in a positive and negative way
2) things that somehow help their LO to self soothe

maybe by reading others ideas we can gain more insight into our own LOs?

I start:

1)
positive:
- I have the feeling that when he eats more solids during the day he sleeps better at night?
- Same for eating protein?
- Same for eating not too late at night?

negative:
- I think soy milk was not agreeing with him. just started an exclusion diet and see if it help.
- Teething of course.

2)
- thumb sucking used to be really good, but he stopped doing it after a bad cold.
- 1 out of 10 wakes, he can go back to sleep if a shake/pat his bum (!) (this used to be 5/10 times, when he was 7 months old)
- BF, but that does not count of course!

that's all I can think now

 

[Ramie]

mmm interesting about the air issue mr hedgehog....

i was wondering if it'd be helpful if each of us made a list of
1) things that they think maybe perhaps affect their LO's sleep in a positive and negative way
2) things that somehow help their LO to self soothe

Good idea Kosh.....mine are:

Positive: calm evening, fresh air, busy days, getting out of the house, dark room, quiet (no speaking), no visual distractions such as toys lying around his room, routine, tummy sleeping, white noise

Negative: teething, gas, light during daytime naps, light shining under his door at night (he just wants to stare at it!), any kind of noise, being overtired, stressed mummy!

Not really found any links with feeding yet as he hasn't got into his solids yet, he'll only have a couple of bites of anything

Things that help self soothing: sshing and patting (only sometimes) and rocking hand across his bottom when he's in cot. He really has to be super tired (but not overtired) for this to work though.

 

[Ramie]

Wishing us all sleepy nights ladies

 

[MrsHedgehog]

Good idea Kosh

1)
Positive:completely dark room, more covers, sleeping on tummy, busy days with lots of new things

Negative: dry air?

I'm starting to think more and more that my own sleep affects LO. She seems to wake more on the nights when I'm having difficulty sleeping. If I get into a good deep sleep myself then LO will sleep better. It's hard to say though if it's me affecting LO or if it's the other way round.

2) She's never self soothed really so can't say. She pretty much always falls asleep while nursing. Sometimes I can get her back to sleep by patting her bum but only if she's in bed with me. Doesn't work in her cot, she just stands up and cries until I pick her up. The only time she goes to sleep by herself is in the car or sometimes in her pushchair. She will however, go to sleep by herself for MIL when I'm at work but I suppose that's because she has no other choice.

 

[Lulu1982]

Hey guys

Almost disappointed to see the same old names still having trouble! I don't get ,ugh time online lately, things are just so hectic!

We're still going through peaks and troughs. We had 3 nights where she kept through although it took and good hour and a bit to get her to sleep, the last two night have been pretty horrendous. Last night she woke at 10.30 mail midnight and them again at 3am for an epic tantrum until 5.30. She wouldn't let me cuddle her, run her tummy, stroke her face etc. just wanted to get up! I. Going t try a darker room and see how we go.

My SPD is at crazy levels and I have bruised my bump from spending so much time lifting her in and out and leaning over her cot the nights she sleeps through seem to make me feel more tired and less able to deal with the bad nights somehow!

We had a busy day yesterday, lots of fresh air, baby group, she ate well, mapped well etc and the night was still terrible. She cut a canine last week so maybe there are more teeth on their way? Who knows!

Keep strong ladies!xx

 

[AngelUK]

Really don't understand why this thread was shunted off to Baby &Parenting when Noelle's thread is still in Baby Club. Not that I don't like the other thread too and most of the ladies on it. I just don't get it, is all.
My boys are sleeping much better so I don't think I belong here any more but I still read your posts and I feel bad for you all. I so know how you are feeling.

So I thought I'd let you know that we too think that giving protein as the evening meal seems to make them sleep better. Especially good seems to be stuff with chicken and cheese.
Also crucial for ease of putting them to bed is that they do not nap after 4:30. Their bedtime is 7 and if they napped till 5 then they will not be easy to rock to sleep. My boys are still on 3 naps a day but none of them very long. Maybe 45 mins at most though I try to have them nap for at least an hour for their after lunch nap. Lunch is at 11 btw.
Also we still have White Noise in their room and we put it quite loud so they won't hear us or the neighbours.
The room cannot be too warm so we aim for no more than 21C at the max and 19C at the minimum.
They like a muslin by their face but since both boys still have their belly band to keep them on their back and on their wedge, we tuck it under the velcro so it isn't a danger to them.
Hm I think this is all I can think of for the moment. Hope you all get some better sleep soon. xxx

 

[Ramie]

Just something else to add, I've found that rubbish naps (30mins) or good naps (1 1/2 hrs) seem to make no difference to LO's night time sleep.

Think I need to look into the protein thing for an evening meal. We did have chicken tonight but as usual he only ate 2 tiny bites. Does anyone have any links to any research about this?

Also, any of the bfing mums found anything that they eat - or + affect their LO's sleep? Do you all have decaf tea etc....I try to limit to only 2 cups a day of caffeinated tea before I switch to the decaf.

 

[Claireyb1]

I tried posting on this yesterday but I PC chrashed!!!

A brief post then -

Things that seem negative:

Being overtired or not enough sleep in the day
Sleeping after 4pm (3pm is better)
Teething/illness

Positive things:

Lots of activity during day
Fresh air- walks outside etc etc.


Do you know I can't honestly think of anything else???