IUI starting September! Anyone with me...

[Megg33k]

Oh... sweetie! I wish my house was more sane. All I've done is screamed at my husband today. Pardon my language, but he's sort of been a twat ever since CD1 and I'm sick of it! I fear he's changed his mind about having a baby, but he swears he hasn't. Part of it too is that I feel like he doesn't deserve to be stressed about it. All he has to do is have a freaking orgasm. I wish that's how *I* made babies! I'm the one taking shots, being in pain/discomfort, hormonal, getting uncomfortable ultrasounds, having a speculum shoved up my floo and a tube put into my cervix... How does HE get to be stressed? I'm doing all the freaking work! I hate men! (Yes, I'm VERY VERY hormonal... ridiculously so!)

And, I'm worried that if he maybe isn't as into having a baby as he swears he is that he'll try and screw up his sample... which he could if he didn't abstain from ejaculating for long enough. I'm just sort of sick over it... and so angry. He swears its not true though. I just don't know anymore.

I'm also worried that I'm just setting myself up for heartbreak, because I sort of feel like this could work... which (in my mind) means it won't!

I'm sorry things are shit for you too right now. I hope his count for tomorrow is WAY better! Good sperm vibes coming your way.

 

[babybumpage]

Oh hun, I am so sorry your husband isn't being very helpful, but I'm sure he would dare hurt his sample! I think he might be a bit frustrated, but I think my husband is too. Remember, from their perspective, their ability to reproduce is highly indicative of their manliness! They can take the lack of a child at this point to mean they aren't really a man, and it hits their ego hard. I know my husband feels this way, we've talked about it a bit. I try not to dwell on it, because I think his ability to admit it was pretty amazing. I know that my husband truly wants a child, as he tries to help me eat right, take pre-natals, and he doesn't fight me on anything, so that's helpful. But I think it's different for all men.

But, my hormones have been wayyyy out of loop lately! We were even joking that "femara lady" had to ride in a different car to the store, as he and I would be in the other car! lol I felt so bad, and sometimes I think he just expected me to be horrible because he would take somethings I said wrong and just look at me like <really?>

He just walked in the door, I'll write more later!

 

[Megg33k]

Okay, honey! I think you're probably right on track! Thanks for that!

I've never been like this... Injectables are sort of the devil!

 

[Megg33k]

Just because I love you girls... and you'll understand! Yes, this *IS* me! Ignore that the first 32 seconds are sideways!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF5MZ5i1Rp8

Also, only 5hpt (hours post trigger) and I have my 1st false + HPT! Its very visible and very pink in real life! So, if you wondered how long it took to get from your injection site to your urine, the answer is less than 5 hours! Its more depressing to see a false + than I expected!

 

[Quaver]

Just because I love you girls... and you'll understand! Yes, this *IS* me!

So it didn't hurt?

 

[Megg33k]

Just because I love you girls... and you'll understand! Yes, this *IS* me!

So it didn't hurt?

No sweetie... It didn't hurt at all, and I'm TERRIFIED of needles... Obviously!!!! The meds sting a teeny bit after you remove the needle... but nothing even as bad as a papercut. Just a tiny little bit that makes you notice but not care. NO PAIN!

 

[Quaver]

No sweetie... It didn't hurt at all, and I'm TERRIFIED of needles... Obviously!!!! The meds sting a teeny bit after you remove the needle... but nothing even as bad as a papercut. Just a tiny little bit that makes you notice but not care. NO PAIN!

Thanks

Now that I know what you sound like, every time I read your posts, I'm reading it in your voice

 

[babybumpage]

I will throw this out there, I'm the world's biggest baby with needles and I almost passed out! But I should mention that was probably because I stopped breathing for like 2 minutes before she stuck me, I just really don't do well with needles.

So we did the second IUI this morning and our numbers were only slightly better. OBGYN said they like to see more than 5 million, yesterday was 3.25m and today was 4.5m motile (9 million total today). So better, but not great by any means. The IUI was painful again because my cervix is just so ridiculously tender! I seriously don't understand it, but the minute it touches me, I cramp hard and fast and it doesn't go away very quick at all! So let's just hope that this is the late time, because now I'm REALLY over all this. Tired, we went to the fair today, so I'll write again tomorrow.

 

[Megg33k]

Oh, I have almost everything crossed for you! Everything but the legs, and that'll happen in the next few days! I'm so sorry the IUI was so painful and the count wasn't much better! I hope that one of them finds the target anyway! It only takes 1, ya know!

AFM... I have the IUI in 10 hours. Specimen donation thingy is at 8am... so 7.5 hours. I'm nervous and excited! I want it to work slightly more than I'm scared it will. I've never allowed myself to think that I might actually succeed in all of this. I do want it... Don't get me wrong. Its just immense pressure to think that this could be my last non-preggo sleep (at least sort of). Most people don't get this moment. Its sort of special... but scary! I think realizing one's dreams is always scary though! Ahhhhhhhh... I'm rambling... I'm just full of so many emotions tonight! More than anything, I want it to work! I promise to be a great mum! I'll do anything I have to! Oh please, oh please, oh please!

Is this how everyone feels right before? Or am I a freak?

 

[babybumpage]

OK, couldn't sleep yet, husband passed out, but of course I'm still awake! You are SOOO right! I didn't sleep for two days before the first IUI, to the point that they took my blood pressure and it was 72/50 and they weren't going to do the IUI or trigger. Well, I wasn't taking that for an answer, so ya know, that idea went out the window (Dr. is on the 9th floor!!!) But I know exactly how you feel!!! I'm in the same spot. Like, I'm excited, ecstatic, and 90% of me isn't expecting this to work at all. But I would love it if it did, and I can move forward, but it's scary to think about the next 9 months. I said to my husband today "I can't wait to be pukin sick!" He just looked at me with those sweet eyes and said "oh hunny, I know you will love every moment of the puking!" I swear, what a smart tush he is!

So now that my IUI's are done, I have everything crossed for you now too! I think this would make a great time for two positives, don't you =)

 

[Megg33k]

I think it would be an amazing time for 2 (or 3 or 4 or 5... whoever is waiting) positives! I keep looking at my BFP's from today... and I just wish so hard that they were real! I'm ready! I'm SO ready! But, its terrifying to think it could actually happen! I'm very conflicted with that... but I know exactly what I want... just hard to shut off the nerves. Everyone I know (except for maybe my mom) seems to think that I have nothing to worry about and it will happen for sure. Even a friend who hates kids and shudders at the thought of me having them seems to think it'll happen this time! So, its very hard to not get my hopes up!

I shall post a few PMA "fake" BFP's! (HPT=Hours Post Trigger)

https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4105/4984529088_40fa7bf21a.jpg

May we all have REAL ones just like those very soon!!!

 

[babybumpage]

I took an OPK at 6 hours post trigger and it was so bright I made my husband stare at it for 10 minutes to see if it was getting darker! I have NEVER had a OPK that dark before! I keep looking at it wondering maybe I didn't have a high enough O sure, and that was the problem. I posted a new thread in the TTC section here, I found a new journal article about morphology and what is considered normal. 15 used to be the normal number you needed, now, normal is a lot lot LESS! It's like 4 or 5, I forget which. But go check that out, it's amazing what WHO has changed in the last few years! And I do think this is going to be our lucky time! I'm just waiting patiently (yeah right) for one "aha" sign, which I think I need to have just one to convince me I'm pregnant. I'm considering my "aha"'s to be painful chest, puking, or sleeping endlessly, so as soon as I have one of those, then I will start to jump around like a fool =)

 

[Megg33k]

I hope you're too tired to jump around at all! I'll go look! My lab said 5% was "good"!!! WOW!

I think it might be ours too... I'll also be looking for an "aha"! Of course, I've had all but puking since the last few shots of Follistim! So, that might be hard to pick out! You'd think I was pregnant now just by how I feel... but I'm obviously not before IUI or O! LOL

C'mon! BFP's all around!

 

[babybumpage]

Yeah, my Dr. said that 5 was ok, but that's the only reason she could give for us having any problems at all, so that's what we always thought the problem was. This new low count problem is so new, so I can't imagine thats what has been going on this entire time. Last time the count was 7.75m washed, so it's not terribly low. I mean, we don't have the 50-100-200 million others have, so yes, in that comparison it is low, but it's not as low as some others, so I have to be thankful for that. So if not morphology, and not count, then what? I think I'm more worried about trying to answer the "then what is wrong" question than I am to actually being pregnant. I think the "then what" question will terrify me. My doctor did my IUI this morning, and before we even made it into the office (she had to meet us in the lobby, building was locked) she mentioned that if this round doesn't take she wants to refer us to a RE to see what's going on. She already has the RE all picked out, and the RE will be awaiting our call if this cycle doesn't take. I really don't want to go that route. I just want to get a + and be on our way, and I feel like throwing a tempertantrum and saying "no, i don't WANT to go!" but part of me knows we might have no choice. Doesn't help we have no fertility insurance benefits, so that won't help either. I'm so darn frustrated with insurance that won't cover reproducing more babies. Don't they realize more babies = more people to insure= more money in the future?? It seems so simple in my head, why is it all so difficult to get them to do the right thing! OK, going to sleep, I'm getting all politically moody. Night!

 

[Megg33k]

Aww! I hate the insurance system and am eternally grateful for what I have!

Our SA count would have given up 33mil motile swimmers, according to the guy that called me with results. I would be ever so grateful for the same tomorrow! Since there's only been 2 days between ejaculations this time instead of 4.25, I think we might be in good shape in that department! 6 follies, hoards of spermies... How could it fail, right? LOL

Okay! G'night! I need to do the same! Morning will come quickly!

 

[babybumpage]

Husband wasn't feeling well last night, and his phone went off this morning to work wondering where he was.. UGH! And I cant even be mad at him, because he's still feeling horrible this morning.

Everything crossed for you, totally hoping your count is much higher than mine!!! With that many follies, I think you are determined to have perfect luck!! Back to crossing everything, keep us informed! Good luck!

 

[Megg33k]

Thank you! The sample is done. I went with... even to the room. We decided that we would both be in the same room at least for every part of our babies being made. I think it actually relaxed him to have me there for some reassurance and a kiss and hug, ya know? It was a weird, creepy little bathroom... I have pics of the room... I couldn't help it! LOL

I guess I'll find out the count when I go in for the IUI! 1 hour and counting! I'm so nervous I could !

I hope you're already preggo, babybumpage!!! (That feels weird, is there a real name I could call you? LOL)

 

[scomar]

Megg is your IUI today ?!?! maybe even happening as i write this !!
how did it go ?!?! count etc.?
x

 

[Megg33k]

It was over when you wrote that!

Its done! 11.5million perfect swimmers chasing up to 6 eggs! It wasn't comfortable, and I'm crampy. But nothing unusual! *hugs* I love you all dearly! Thank you SO much for supporting me in this! xxx

 

[babybumpage]

Megg, everyone calls me Dezi! My husband wants me in the room too! This place has like a sofa/bed thing and they have fresh sheets there, and a t.v. with adult movies (which happen to be so hilarious that we usually die laughing at them!) and dimming lights. So it's a little weird, but we've been in the same room every time so it's weird how comfy you can get after a while. This was our 3rd time there doing "the deed". GREAT numbers tho!! I have a really strong feeling this could be your month!!! I'm definitely not psychic but I think there's no many things going right for you this month! Then we just need to get the little beaner to stick and keep the momentum going forward! Mine wasn't comfortable either, both the one Sat and Sunday. I was crampy for about an hour, but husband and I wanted to go to the fair, so we drove an hour to the fair and walked around and I felt much better walking. I only had one "stop and ow" pain that lasted for about 20 seconds. I asked my husband if it was weird that I already just assume I'm pregnant and he said no, he'd rather I did assume that actually. He thinks it's safer if I do, because he feels I will eat better and be more protective. I have an issue with no eating breakfast or lunch, and only eating dinner. I can't get the momentum up to cook for myself, because it's just ME! So he said he wants me eating breakfast and lunch now. Oh the silly bits of men! So glad yours went well Meg, those numbers are fantastic!!!! Did they give you your forward progression score? It's usually 1-4. We had a 4, so they were happy with that. I guess it means THEY CAN SWIM! lol =)