IVF/ICSI at Guys? Anyone else?

[Tinkerbell3]

Briss it's just the most cruelest thing isn't it? I was the same when I tested Friday, I had it in my head it hadn't worked and when I saw that 2line I couldn't stop shaking and burst into tears, 3 years I've waited for that moment and was overwhelmed with happiness. I stupidly spend that evening and Saturday thinking about all the exciting things to come, like being excited his was our last Christmas just the 2 of us, telling family, getting a bump.

I keep trying to tell myself that it's better than another bfn because after all our treatments we finally know I can get an embryo to implant, just need one to stick now. I guess we will use the last of our savings which was meant to be our deposit for a mortgage, to try again in the new year. I need a plan in my head, I find it always helps me cope even though it's just happened, it will sink in properly in a few days what's actually happened

Thank you Serena, no they didn't but they didn't even tell me the level at first just said i need it repeating, I had to ask and she didn't say 5 in a positive way. But I know it's dropping because I got a line on a 25miu test on Friday

 

[Serena80]

It's so devastating. Almost worse than just having a BFN as you feel like you're dragged through all extremes. I'm so sorry for you, and will be hoping more than anything that your embryo is a late implanter and your blood results increase on Thurs. You are very strong to already be looking at the positives. You are completely right though, as now you know things that work well for you, the frozen cycle, the embryo glue. You are so close now. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for good news on Thursday though. X

 

[Briss]

Tinkerbell, I am crying as I write, this is so very cruel. I had exactly the same thoughts because I was so sure. I know ladies were seeing a ghost of a line and were pregnant, I had a proper line surely it was for real. I could not believe it when it almost disappeared. I already made plans I told my mum. On top of that I met a woman today who was cycling with me and she was showing off her scan pictures of her baby… she was lucky and her due date was supposed to be the same as mine (yes I calculated it the next minute I saw a positive), I had to hide in a toilet and have a little cry because I was there to plan my next IVf… you do need a plan otherwise it's hard to cope. we cant even plan our mortgage yet because I have no idea how much we are going to spend on IVF but it's more important. and yes, chemical is much better than clean BFN, it's definitely a move in the right direction even though a very cruel one.

Serena, I was told that they expect beta to be around 100 but I know that anything above 50 is good I even know a few ladies who had 30 and had healthy pregnancies but anything below that is unofficially a negative but it has to be below 5 to officially confirm negative. That's what I was told at Create, mine was below 9 and they said there is no hope (I was still hoping because as I said it could have been a mistake and who knows you may get a good beta next time, miracles happen, sadly for me it did not)

 

[Izabela]

:Thinkerbell I hope is a late implanter. I am so sorry you going through those emotions is really cruel. I done the same once I got the 2 lines and because we had great sperm I really thought should work and was hard to come to terms with yet another failure. But there are great positives in chemicals and your consultant should be able to look and tailored for the next go if needed. I so much hope that your next result will bring you joy.

 

[Tinkerbell3]

That's why I got so excited, I called my lines faint but they were so obvious and noticeable, more just light so I didn't even doubt them and did exactly the same as you, worked out my due date, all other important dates, downloads a pregnancy app.
I was planning how to tell my mum with our early scan pic, I had worked out when each scan would be.

That's must have been such a sinking feeling for you you can't help but think it should be you too. I was sat waiting for my bloods today and a couple walked past waving their scan photo about, so much so I could see the baby so easily, I felt so sick, surely these people should be a bit more careful it's a fertility clinic after all and most people there are not luckily enough to be pregnant.

Our mortgage plans have gone right out the window, we had £10,000 saved for it and now only have half left which will be taken by IVF again but like you say it's much more important

 

[Serena80]

I didn't know anything about Beta numbers, that does sound like it's bad news, Tinkerbell I'm so sorry. And sorry for your loss too Briss. It's so heartbreaking. And so unfair after everything you've already been through. 3 years is such a long time, it's so draining and crushing. But hopefully you can take comfort in the positive even if the embryo didn't stick this time. I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say except to grieve for this loss and then come back fighting for the next attempt - you and your other half deserve it and I'm sure you'll have another BFP soon which will become your child and make all this heartbreak worth it x

 

[Monkeyfeet81]

Tinkerbell, I have no words, I am so so sorry. It is so cruel. Sending you huge love and hugs. xxxxxx

 

[key24]

Tinkerbell probably nothing else I can say that the others haven't already said - I'm so so sorry that it was chemical. Briss & Izabela must be tough bringing back the memories too as still so raw - it is just so bloody cruel!!

I completely understand how you felt when final saw a positive, ours was also after 3 long years & I just coukdn't believe it & trust me count myself lucky everyday that it has worked out.

I know it will happen for all you ladies too but it's just such a cruel & unfair long journey.

Tinkerbell hope you & OH can be of some comfort to each other & take the time to get over the loss before moving on & trying agaib

Much love to all

K xx

 

[Izabela]

So sorry Thinkerbell. Life sometimes is so cruel and difficult. I am sorry to hear you are going to spend your money designated for the mortgage. Hopefully next time would work for you don't loose hope there are lots of people who have been through many over 5 Ivfs before got a baby. It is your husband OK with donating for a free standard IVF. I knows you said his sample is good. Obviously you both need to carefully consider it. For me was a easy decision to donate as I need donor too is only the right think.

Briss when are you starting next. Have you decided of which clinic and if you going for stimulation wish you best of luck.

Key hope you feeling well. How many weeks you have left.

Serena how is Rosalie? Ready for Santa.

Monkeyfeet is going to be William first Christmas too? When are you starting second baby IVF a journey?

AFM I started the birth control and hate them as give me Breast pains. Hope will get better although are not bad just not used. I am going to spend a long weekend with my sister and her kicking babies. Both are girls. Need to start baby shopping and I am going to help her decorate the babies' room and buy all necessaries. I am grateful to be included.

 

[Briss]

we decided to start our second IVF at Create. I am picking up meds tomorrow and will start as soon as AF arrives (probably tomorrow or Friday). It wont be a natural cycle this time, they will do some mild stims starting with 125 of Gonal F. I had 8 follicles on a scan yesterday. most on my left ovary cos the right one has a cyst. I have very mixed feelings about going back to Create but I guess i will have to hope for the best. Not in a good place today, I can feel AF is on her way (deep down I was hoping for a miracle I know some ladies had a failed IVF and then got pregnant naturally right away, I guess that was just too much to ask)

 

[kazzab25]

Hi everyone,

So sorry for the late post!

Tinkerbell I am is sorry for your loss! Ths journey is horrible but I feel sure you will get your bfp as the girls said them embryo dd try to implant!! It will be none well ent when you get that bfp!

Izabella and briss, good luck for these upcoming cycles!

Key, remind for the 100th time, how many weeks are you?

Afm sorry it's Tain ages to post, was in hospital for a few days with no Internet!! Nightmare!! So babies nearest finally hear! Long labour with instrumental birth, all I can say is thank god for epidural! Lost load of blood, fainted next day, day after that was delirious, second degree tear! but babies are beautiful! Incredibly hard work! The nights are horrendous Been so tired but they are good as gold in the day time! So strange! Feel overwhelmed with the amount I have to learn,

I'll post pics soon!

 

[Serena80]

Kazza - massive congratulations, such brilliant news. Looking forward to seeing some pics & hearing how you're all getting on x

Izabela - will you be on the BCP until Jan? Sorry it's giving you pains.

Tinkerbell - hope you're ok, much love to you.

Briss - it sounds like you've made a good decision to stay at Create if you feel more comfortable there x

Key - how are you feeling? how's NCT going?

Monkeyfeet - how are you doing hon?

AFM - one of my cats is missing and I'm so upset I feel sick. I feel so bad and can't see I'll get any sleep tonight unless he comes back.

 

[Briss]

Serena, I am so sorry about your cat, I hope you will find him soon. is he independent and goes walk about on his own from time to time?

Kazza, so happy babies are fine. congratulations!! brilliant news. although long labour with instrumental birth sounds dramatic, poor thing!

Tinkerbell, thinking about you.

afm, CD1 and starting stims tomorrow. here I go again...

 

[Tinkerbell3]

Congratulations again Kazza, sounds like a nightmare labour/post labour time but glad everything is looking good now and those precious babies are finally here.

Oh Serena, I hope your cat comes home soon you must be worried sick.

Briss, how exciting to be starting again, how are you feeling about it? Hope it's your time

AFM - I'm still trying to let in sink in what's happened, I'm still finding it so hard to get my head around and still wondering why AF hasn't arrived yet which is annoying because although I'll no doubt be hurting again even more when it does it will at least be done with.
I think we'll be cycling again in January/February but we need to decide if we got back to Guys or stay at Hammersmith and do we opt for long or short protocol as one got us more eggs but one better quality embryos although we just do t know if it's a clinic, protocol or just luck

 

[key24]

Kazza great to hear your back home with the twins. I bet you are completely exhausted but I'm sure you wouldn't change anything for minute!! Can't wait to see more photos

Briss good luck with the new cycle, at least at create they would have learnt a lot about you from last time so will hopefully be able to provide bfp this time. I know you are really apprehensive about stimming but will this mean you might get more embies and maybe even some to freeze for fet? You know we're all keeping everything crossed for a great outcome this cycle & a perfect Xmas gift of bfp!

Serena - sorry to hear about your cat hun, hopefully they come home soon

Tinkerbell - I'm sure you are still reeling from last cycle so a couple if mths off might be best thing. It's so hard to decide on best way forwards & clinics etc, but I would personally always go for quality over quantity when looking at embroyos if that helps at all.

Izabela - hope you have a lovely weekend helping your sister with baby stuff and I am sure it will be your turn in new year! Hope birth control settles down a bit for you soon through

Monkeyfeet hope all good with you & William

Afm - just 6 weeks today to go!! Have got consultant on Monday where hopefully find out about what will happen if I'm overdue as midwife said they don't like ivf babies to go much over due date apparently. I'm generally good a bit dressed as Oh dad is in hospital at moment and not doing too good so we're hoping he can improve & get out soon. Last NCT on Say morning then going for lunch which should be nice

K xxx

 

[Briss]

Tinkerbell, it took me a couple of weeks to actually really understand what happened. this was our first BFP and I just could not take it in how it could all be gone in a couple of days. every time I passed boots on my way home I'd think I need to pop in for some more test to check if the line got darker... it really took some time to digest and mourn this loss. the only thing that helped was the fact that finally there was something happening after 3.5 years of absolutely nothing, not a sniff of a BFP so I admitted that we should continue IVF route (as far as our finances allow) so planning our next IVF was a huge step forward. I am still not sure what I think about going back to Create but I am just going to give it my best and think positive and take it one day at a time. First thing first I need to see how I am going to take my injections and needles on a plane tomorrow am off to Switzerland on a business trip not for long but I need to start my injections tomorrow evening. Create gave me a letter so I hope it will help. Just need to make sure none of my colleagues see it. No one knows what I am up to

 

[Briss]

key, thank you. I have 8 follicles: 6 on the left and 2 on the right; they most likely wont touch the right ones as I have a cyst on my right ovary unless the follicle are conveniently located for EC. but I am not after a huge number of eggs really. I was perfectly happy with just one cos I knew it was the naturally selected the best one that cycle. Would be nice to get a couple of runners up as well to chose from. My DH did not want me to stim cos last cycle I was stimming for 5 days on lower doses but they did not collect the right follicle as it was too close to the cyst so basically all that stimming was for nothing so he is afraid of this happening again. I hope not but we will see.

 

[Izabela]

Kazza great news you are home with your two lovely babies. Congratulations you done really well and you was brave. Not long until your wedding now. You are going to be so busy and happy.

Key 6 weeks is not long and you are going to hold your baby for Christmas or shortly after. I hope your oh dad will recover soon and you can concentrate mostly to you and your baby.

Serena I hope the cat comes back soon. Was an indoor cat? Hope you and Rosalie slept well last night.

Thinkerbel is great you are starting again in the new year. I will also chose quality over quantity. Hope you feel better and remain positive because you had a BFP and this could be the start of something nice.

Briss great news you started and you have 8 folies. Is good too don't have no cysts on left and there you have 6 folies. Short protocol sounds much better for than the long one. Finger cross that you get your BFP before Christmas and get few FE.

AFM getting better with the birth control and likely to use them until Jan or late December when I will start injections. Hope no cysts on BCP. I don't usually get cysts but you never know.

 

[kazzab25]

Hey girls

Serena, any sign of your cat? Thinking if you!

Tinkerbell, I can only imagine your pain really thinking of you!

Brussels good luck your follies sound great!

6 weeks key!! Hope it flies by for you!!!

Isabella glad things are getting better on bcp ! Looking forward to your next cycle!

AFM so tired! But starting to feel a little more normal! Too scared to leave the house with them at the moment!

Serena how long did you leave it before you bathed Rosalie I was told to leave it a month but that seems excessive!

 

[Izabela]

Kazzza they are gourgeus and such good weight!!!!! You and your future husband are such a lucky mummy and daddy and they are lucky too. They are so yummy... Looking at them gives me power to start my 5 fresh stim and 7 altogether with FET. I read a girl had 11 goes before got twins over 8 years. Started at 29 got them at 37.

Serena any site of your cat?

Love to everyone.