IVF or FET November/December 2015 - chat thread

[klik]

Wish: thanks... Yeah, it's pretty devastating... It's hard not to pin some hope on any transfer, let alone one that took so long to come around... I'm ecstatic you got to see your little nuggets! Wiggling is lovely to experience--so glad things are finally going well for you--you so deserve it!!!

Boopin: thank you so much... I really hope you and I both finally find our success in our next attempt!

Disneyfan: thanks... Well, luck is not on our side, especially if we continue insisting on fresh eggs... so if we keep going down that route we need to be prepared to bang our heads against the wall a couple more times... But hopefully one of these will work... How are you? I hope all is going well with the pregnancy, and that everything is just way easier this time around...

Scooby: thanks... that is so unbelievably sweet I'm at a loss for words... Thank you so much! Really, I don't know how to thank you... FX'ed progesterone remains at a good level... I wish they'd just do a scan anyway, for the sake of reassurance! But if they make you wait, well... maybe Moobley will be waving at you by the time you see him/her!

Amanda: thanks... Yeah, this is a field where effort really doesn't necessarily mean results... How are you? How is Brielle?

AFM: Consultation tomorrow with my local doc... Once I started to imagine being able to stay home, the idea was so attractive I think that's really what I want to do, if he'll let me. I've written out my questions/requests and I hope he'll accept all of them... In which case, there are aspects of my life I can re-start, after having put them on hold for a year (work, social life, exercise)... That sounds really welcome. And I think my ovaries are tired of stims anyway, so maybe this is the right thing to do...

But yeah, still pretty devastated. DP and I are not dealing with it very well at the moment. He decided to travel for 10 days to hang out with his friend in Zurich (the travel was planned, but it was meant to be just a few days) and at the moment I have mixed feelings about his absence--happy to see the back of him, but I'll also miss him.

Part of the difficulty is that, while he really does understand my insistence on using OE, it's also incredibly frustrating for him. Understandable, of course, but difficult for both of us. He's kind of ok with having a few more fresh cycles here in London (as long as my doc will allow it) as long as we are also fostering, so we can at least have a feel for family life. I resisted, because I don't really want to have to manage my own rollercoaster emotions as well as a child's, but I think I've pushed him as far as possible on the patience front. It's probably the best compromise. I mean, I love kids, and part of me welcomes that chance, but at the moment I occasionally need to be able to be a basketcase, and it's a whole lot easier to do that without a kid around who depends on you. We'll see how that goes...

So yes, upheaval in the klik household! I'll let you know how the consultation goes tomorrow...

 

[Wish2BMom]

Wow, fostering?? Good for you guys! seriously - I applaud you. Yes, this is a lot to be going through, though, with another fulltime concentration like that. But you seem to be able to juggle what life throws at you so I'm sure you'd do this remarkably well. Staying home, getting in a groove of life, and not having to travel to NY sounds like a dream I want for you. I hope your doc agrees. Please keep us posted and good luck tomorrow, hon!

 

[scoobybeans]

boopin- You're so sweet. I'd be happy to do the same for any of you ladies!

klik- Of course hun, it would be my pleasure! It sounds like you're going to be staying home (which I actually think is a wonderful idea) but if you change your mind the offer still stands. Wow, you've got a lot going on. I hope your consultation goes well with your local doctor today and he or she allows you to proceed the way you want. I'm sorry things are difficult with DP. TTC takes such a toll on relationships. As far as fostering, while I think it's a very noble endeavor it's a huge responsibility and comes with it's own set of highs and lows. Do you remember Savasanna? She's been fostering with her wife for years and her journal holds a wealth of information. When you get a chance I recommend giving it a read so you can get an idea how the process works. I'm sure it's different in the UK but you'll get the gist. Her journal is in the parenting section and I'm sure she'd be happy to answer any questions you have.

wish- I just found out I'm going to have a scan with my RE on 7/12, so we'll have appointments the same day. But of course we will.

AFM, got blood drawn this morning but probably won't get results back until tomorrow. I hope I'm not being naïve about this, but I really think everything is okay. Still, the wait will be rough.

 

[Wish2BMom]

haha, of course!! I love it! And follow your intuition - I'm sure everything is absolutely fine. You're almost at 10 weeks now and the placenta will fully take over. Even in my scan the other day, I saw how much smaller the yolk sac had become since it's being absorbed and taken over by the placenta. I'm sure you're right as rain! (that's an excellent song, by the way - Right as Rain - if anyone wants to look it up - by Chuck Ragan. He's amazing)

I actually ran into someone I know at the OB on Tues - I know SHE is preg, b/c her sister told us at the wedding we were all at at the end of May. I was only 5 wks then and she was 6. Anyway, neither of us spoke about why we were there, of course. So I played it off like it was a regular OB appt. So funny.
Speaking of - so I don't get one OB at this place, I get them all! They all work at the hospital I'll be giving birth at so depending on if I just click with one or what kind of birth I have, I could have any one of them. I only saw a nurse the other day and she was sweet, as was the first one who took me to my room, and the sonographer was a sweetheart too. It feels like a village of people taking care of you. I dig it! But the next time I'm there, I'll see a doc.

 

[Wish2BMom]

klik - good luck to you at your appt today. I hope you get all your wishes!

 

[klik]

Wish: thanks for all the thoughts and sympathy and support and encouragement! I love that you keep finding these places that are so village-like. I wonder if it's them or if it's you! I'm really glad you feel it's a community, though--that's really important!

scooby: Wow, I'd be counting down the days til that scan--I'm sure you can't wait to see Moobley again! 13 days to go! Thank you so much for renewing your unbelievably kind offer--you are just too sweet, really! I'd love it if some day we all get together with our LO's (mine and Boopin's being the littlest ones, of course)! Thanks also for pointing me to Sava's journal--of course I remember her, and I remember she was about to start fostering a baby when she had that fateful IVF she was so sure wouldn't work! What a pleasure it must have been to be proved wrong... I hope your progesterone number is really reassuring when you get it back, and that with the placenta taking over you can stop those pesky shots for good without worry, very soon!

AFM: it's been an intense day... I went into my RE's office hoping for one thing and came out with something entirely different--mostly good different, but some bad, too. So, he's totally willing to treat me despite the ridiculous odds (I'll stop this fresh egg malarky soon enough, I swear--it will soon be time to move on to less improbable approaches.) But instead of natural cycle IMSI, which is all he was willing to offer me a year ago, he said the hope that the lead follicle was the best one and therefore would lead to decent pregnancy rates without the stims didn't actually pan out. The success rate was too low--he didn't remember the numbers off the top of his head but asked me to call embryology (I haven't done so yet...) He said I could do it if I wanted to, even in the same cycle as a HSG or a 3d HyCoSy, but I should expect chances to be low. I asked if there was an alternative, and to my utter shock they are now doing a mild stimulation protocol for old, DOR women like me. If I'd only known this earlier I could have stopped flying to NY and paying US healthcare prices for everything (they're not cheap here, but OOP in the US is just painful!) Not to mention the crazy disruption... Ugh! But I did learn a lot at Cornell, and I'm now using that knowledge. So, there's that.

Ok, long story slightly shortened, we're doing a couple of cycles of embryo banking with mild stims (oestrogen priming + 5 days of 100 Clomid + 225 Merional on alternate days til trigger; try to avoid cetrotide.) So, I'm kind of heartbroken by the complete certainty of no pregnancy for at least a couple more months while we try to collect enough embryos for a good solid attempt... But OTOH, what a relief that we can cycle here, with relatively low stims and a lab, RE, and embryologists that I trust. My doc in NY is cool with me cycling here (I was a little sad he let me go so easily, but hey). So yeah, we'll grab as many embryos as possible for some as-yet undetermined number of back-to-back cycles and then we'll do that uterine investigation to see if something's wrong with my poor womb... And then, finally, we'll start to transfer.

As for fostering, now that I've sort of embraced the idea, DP is sort of backing off somewhat. I think he was just expressing his frustration. I mean, this whole flying to NY thing has been totally my crazy idea, and he was kind enough to go along with it. So no wonder he needs change, and needs it now. But yeah, I'm not so sure anymore that it will happen.

It's not that I'm feeling super hopeful about any of this, but it's like I need to do this for closure before going for those frozen zygotes and frozen eggs, donor eggs, and finally adoption or surrogacy... It's my own very expensive, draining, and dramatic process of letting go, I suppose...

Sorry--I wrote a novel!

to all...

 

[boopin4baby]

GREAT update klik!! I'm so happy for you & dh. You both deserve a break from traveling abroad for a couple/few months. I'm wishing you GL for your upcoming mild stim cycle and embryo banking!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

no apologies for the novel, klik!! I'm so happy to hear all the updates and that you get a well-deserved BREAK from the intensity of transfers and TWWs. Plug yourself into a socket and recharge, my dear! I hope you can make some fun summer plans now!!
Has your doc ever suggested the ERA to make sure they are transferring on the right day, like I had? I don't know if that qualifies for when you're creating the eggs yourself or not. Might just be with DE since my body isn't actually ovulating.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe weekend! Be careful of those fireworks if you're in the States!

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- I'm so glad you're happy with your OBGYN's offices. There are 6 doctors in mine and apparently they rotate being on call, so they schedule you with all of them at one point or another so you'll meet whoever does your delivery. Sounds like a pretty good system.

klik- Wow, definitely a lot of information to process! Ultimately it sounds like good news though. When I was researching EPP I was on resolve.org and saw how many older ladies preferred and had success on low-stim cycles. It seems like a great option! It's a bummer that you won't get to transfer for a couple of months, but it will go by quickly. (And embryo banking is an awesome idea.) I think you and DP should plan something fun that's just for you! And while you wait, it won't hurt to do something like take royal jelly & COQ10 for egg quality (unless you already are- I forget!) I would absolutely love it if we could all get together for baby snuggles one day, that would be the best!

AFM, progesterone is still low and I'm pretty bummed but trying to stay calm. Looks like I'll be on PIO at least another week before we can try to wean off again. Part of me feels utterly unsurprised that there's a problem, because of COURSE there is. I was crying to DH this morning saying "Why can't I just be a normal pregnant woman? Why does my body suck so much?" I'm so worried that I'm going to have to stay on PIO for the whole pregnancy, or that- much worse- there's something wrong with the baby.

I'm trying not to let my imagination run away with me. We have DSS this weekend and are going to hunt for some fireworks and take it easy. I've got to find out when the fireworks are by me so I can sedate the pups, because they get super scared. (My vet gives me something to give them.) Once my neighbor held an impromptu fireworks display and my youngest dog wouldn't come out from under the kitchen table for hours. Poor little girl.

 

[klik]

Thanks, Boopin! I'm still not sure it's the right thing to do but I'm trying to wrap my head around it!

Wish: oh, yes, DP especially was so relieved when he realized there wouldn't be a transfer for a while, I think he all but forgot about the fostering! I haven't gotten used to the idea yet of having more control over my life, but when I'm a little less shellshocked I'll try to make some fun plans... Oooh, as for ERA, I think my RE is probably saving that for the "transfer" conversation he wants to have later on. I think it applies to any frozen transfers where ovulation is suppressed, yes, not just with donor eggs...

Scooby: thanks! It's a little weird that we had such an intense day yesterday and now DP is gone for a while... and pretty much as soon as he's back, my mom will be visiting. So we don't really get to do something alone together for about a month, at least. Though I'm thinking of moving my mom's trip, now that I know we can be in town for another few months... Look, as for your progesterone levels, I'd be worried sick, too. I don't blame you even a little bit for being so worried. FWIW, though, I have read that there can be perfectly good ongoing pregnancies on shockingly low levels of progesterone (I can't remember what now, but it was a one-digit number!)--I'm sure you've been web searching like crazy, so you've probably seen something like that already... Also, some women just need progesterone support, period. This may well be another contributing factor to your not having gotten pregnant before. But I can't wait until you have your next scan, and can hopefully be reassured that all continues to go well...

As for your doggies panicking due to fireworks, I hope they're ok over the next few days--it's so sad to see dogs cowering...

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh klik - see, that's one month down already! silver linings, right? and it's summer and summer seems to blow by so it'll be fall soon enough and you'll be back to transferring.

scooby - ugh, i'm so sorry about the progesterone. At least there is a way to keep it up for you! I had my test too and as hopeful as I was to get off the shots, I readied myself to have to be on them another 2 weeks or whatnot. B/c yeah - like you said - there HAS to be something, of course! But remember, you're doing VERY well and so is little Moobley. Textbook except for this so if you need a little extra assist, so be it. I know we've talked about this but would you want to switch to Crinone, maybe? I have some I can send to you! Maybe if you don't need THAT much help, then Crinone might be a more comfortable way to go for you. But I know that it's kinda also easier with a one-and-done shot. lmk

I hope the pups are ok this weekend. We have to worry about ours too - 2 rescues + fireworks = sad pups.

 

[scoobybeans]

klik- It might not be the worst thing if you moved your mom's trip. Maybe it would be good for you and DP to have some alone time together that had nothing to do with TTC. You'll decompress soon and be much better off for it! Thank you for the info and your thoughts on the progesterone. That helped a lot!

wish- Thank you for your offer! If I need to continue long term on the progesterone, I may just take you up on that. My RE's office is all about PIO but maybe my OBGYN would let me switch. We shall see! Our dogs are rescues too, and neither are fans of loud noises. When Lola was a puppy she was afraid of the kids going by on skateboards. (Of course, she was afraid of everything back then!) I hope yours are okay this weekend! Did you get the results of your blood test yet? Have they scheduled your NT scan?

Well I posted this in my journal but yeah, back on PIO every day until 7/14. As much as it hurts and I hate it, I've also been less stressed since I've been back on. Next scan bumped up to Wednesday!!! Unfortunately DH can't come because we need him in the office, but I should be able to get some pictures.

 

[Asterimou]

Hi all, do you remember me. So much on the thread it's impossible to catch up so if anyone wants to give me a quick update please do

Me and DH have been to a few adoption meetings and we're starting our prep course in September. There's still a lot to investigate and it could be years until we're matched but it feels like a good road to be on at the moment and I'm enjoying life again. You are all stronger than I was with ivf. It really did bring out the worst in me, even looking at photos of me from that time I can see the sadness behind my eyes. I know it's not like that for everyone but for me it just wasn't right. Just wanted to check in and say hi and that I hope you're all doing okay with whatever life is throwing at you xx

 

[Disneyfan88]

Klik - I'm glad that you are able to cycle at home and avoid the stress (and money!) that comes from traveling. It sounds like you have a plan to keep you going, which is awesome. Hopefully you and DH are getting some "you time" together.

Scooby - I'm not sure if it makes you feel better or not, but my doctor never checked my progesterone again after the initial check when we confirmed hcg for pregnancy and I was doing PIO. She automatically weans her patients at 10 weeks regardless. Hopefully you can stop the PIO for good soon.

Wish - The medical group that my doctor is part of has about 6 OBs that are spread across 3 neighboring cities. The doctors rotate being on-call at the hospital, so unless your delivery is scheduled (c-section or induction), you wouldn't necessarily know who is going to be there when you arrive to give birth. If this baby lasts until my scheduled delivery date (July 31!), then my doctor will be doing my c-section. If she comes sooner, then I get whoever is there. I've met most of the doctors at one point or another. I'm hoping that little Sarah holds out until my scheduled delivery date as I prefer my own doc.

Boopin - I hope all is going well on your end!

Aster - I've been wondering how you were doing! It's so great to hear from you and read your update! It sounds like you are in a good place right now, and I wish you all the best with the adoption stuff!

AFM - I'm now 35 weeks along (OMG!). No hospital bags packed yet, but the process of putting the house back together is coming along. The downstairs is done as it's DDs birthday tomorrow, and I wanted it clean for the family gathering birthday party that we had for her here this past Sunday. I can't believe she's turning 3! Her room is clean, Sarah's room is clean, and the rest of the upstairs is getting there. I have 3 days of work this week (no training since my company forced the contractors to take furlough this week and my backup can't work), and 5 more days next week and then I'll officially be on leave for the rest of the year. I can't wait to be done with work -- I've got major "senioritis" right now. My next doctor appointment will be next Monday, and then I *think* we move to weekly appointments after that until the baby comes.

Forgive any typos - posting from a cell phone is hard. LOL

 

[klik]

Wish: actually, the first bit of the month is a bit slow, as DP is not here. He also has a bad habit of calling when he's with his friend, so we don't get any time to speak just the two of us... But hey, it's all good... how are you feeling? Hope your dogs did ok with the fireworks...

Scooby: your dogs, too, I hope they did ok with the fireworks--I guess you had them sedated... I hope your scan today goes beautifully, and gives you that extra strength to keep going on the PIO...

Asterimou: it's super nice to hear from you! I don't really remember exactly where you left off so I'll go off the top of my head... I've just spent a year travelling to and from New York and all I have to show for it is a miscarriage and three frozen zygotes... Disneyfan is almost due, as you can see! Amanda had baby Brielle a little while ago... Wish is pregnant with twins (something like 10 weeks?) Scooby is pregnant with a singleton, having a scan today (also around 10 weeks). Sava got pregnant on that last IUI she was talking about. Hope came back briefly to talk about how difficult birth and the immediate aftermath had been, but she and her baby seem well... Boopin is on to choosing a new egg donor for another attempt. I missed loads of detail, of course, but that's some sort of summary, anyway. I'm so happy you're in a better place! TTC this intensively is certainly very difficult... I can't say I'm happy at the moment, but to keep going is the only thing I really know how to do--otherwise I really would be unhappy... But I love that you're going down the path that makes sense for you--you'll be such wonderful parents to whatever lucky child gets to have you!

Disneyfan: Thanks! It will definitely be less stressful and WAY cheaper... Curious how it will turn out, but let's see... FX'ed that Sarah hangs on until her scheduled due date!!! As for your cleaning up exercise, wow, I'm so full of admiration! And you're super pregnant, too! Wow! Anyway, it all sounds like good developments--I wish you patience until your work is done, and luck beyond!

AFM: Baseline scan was on Monday. I had a cyst I didn't have before, so I had to get bloodwork done to see if it was producing any oestrogen or progesterone (but it was probably just left over from egg retrieval). I was afraid they'd cancel due to elevated oestrogen because I was wearing the patch, so I asked the sonographer to leave a note for the doctor... Then I was afraid they'd cancel because my AFC was "only" 4 (with the sonographer who tends to underestimate) and my doctor had considered nixing the cycle if it was <5. All in all, I spent an anxious afternoon, but finally got the go-ahead. Today will be day 3 of Clomid + alternate-day Merional... Curious how this cycle will unfold. DP doesn't even know cycle has started, as I don't really want to talk about it in front of his buddy. *sigh*

 

[Disneyfan88]

Klik - Thanks! Fantastic summary as always! I'm glad that you were able to proceed with your cycle. Hopefully the cyst remains under control for you. Best of luck getting the most out of this one. You've definitely got the drive, mind power, and determination to get this.

 

[Wish2BMom]

aster! so good to hear from you, i'm so glad you came back to us. Sounds like you've found your happiness again. I was so sad reading that you could tell physically that IVF and TTC were dragging you down. For me, I could tell the adoption path was too daunting so I applaud you for going that route. I can't wait to see what your future holds!! I hope you'll stay with us and share!

klik - good summary! and got the weeks on the nose! Ugh, you and DH will square everything away soon, I know it. I'm glad the other day's anxiety was unfounded and all is good and approved. How's the Clomid treating you?

scooby - how'd the pups do? we didn't have too many fireworks near us, thankfully, so I think my FIL's were fine. How are you feeling? I can't WAIT to hear about your scan today!! GOOD LUCK!! Hi Moobley!! :wave:

disney - I can't believe you're so close! And that's some deep cleaning to already have completed for DD's bday so you're in great shape. Question on the cleaning - did you change to more natural/less chemical cleaning supplies? I was thinking of looking up Honest Co's stuff but I'm assuming it's expensive.

boopin - how's the donor hunt doing?

afm - what was supposed to be a nice relaxing weekend ended up being a weekend of illness! i got a cold on Sunday that turned into a flu/fever. I took some Theraflu that night and it broke right away, so that was good. But the cold part is still lingering and feels like it is making its way to my chest. I am trying to fight that b/c I don't need bronchitis. I'm so pissed b/c I know I'm sick from working too much and I hate them for it.
Anyway - babies are still fine, I'm assuming. 10+2 today. We told my FIL, BIL and SIL yesterday, it was a great surprise for them all. My BIL/SIL have a 7 mo old so she'll be the oldest cousin! That'll be all we tell for a little bit, though I have my girls weekend this weekend and I can't see getting by without spilling it.

My symptoms already seem to be waning or changing a bit, which of course is making me anxious a little. My boobs don't hurt as much, unless I'm just getting used to the pain now. But I don't seem to be as hungry as often anymore, that's more back to normal. But when the hunger hits, I need food ASAP still. And maybe instead of fatigue, I'm feeling a little insomnia - I'll be so tired but can't fall right to sleep, my eyes hurt, but my brain is going going going. Sigh.

 

[scoobybeans]

aster- Wonderful to hear an update from you, especially such a happy one! IVF is so intense and I didn't cope well with the stress either, especially the first time. I think it's so cool how many different options are out there and that there really does seem to be a perfect fit for all of us. Wishing you the best of luck!

Disney- Wow, I'm in awe of your energy levels at 35 weeks! If I have half as much as you at that stage I'll consider myself lucky lol. What do you think you'll be packing for your hospital bag? I've heard such differing opinions on that, so I'm very curious! Happy birthday to DD! It goes so fast doesn't it? I'm so glad you get to stop work soon! Thank you for sharing about your progesterone. It's nice to hear things like that, because Google makes everything sound so dire.

klik- Even sedated my dogs were super not okay with the fireworks. I'm not exaggerating when I say we had about 6 or 7 different displays going on at the same time, so it seriously sounded like a war zone. It must have been so confusing and scary for them. Lola barked the whole time and Keema curled up into a ball in the corner until it was over. We felt so bad for them. For us, however, it was wonderful. We saw a bunch of fireworks right over the lake in our backyard! I can't believe you're already cycling again. You do sound a bit stressed, so I hope you have a good support system at home and something you can do for stress relief. Listening to music, cooking, gardening, hiking, reading, watching funny movies... whatever makes you happiest!

wish- I'm so sorry you're sick! Awesome that you got to tell some family this weekend. They must be so excited for you guys! My symptoms have changed a lot the past couple of weeks too, and I'm also not sleeping as soundly. Are you having cravings? I definitely am lol. Right now it's egg salad/hard boiled eggs and cucumbers (not at the same time!) This is a good switch from last week, when it was Ben & Jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream and crumb cake.

Scan went well today! I posted a pic on my journal if anyone wants to see Moobley is measuring one day ahead and they kept joking around about how big he/she is and how big its head is. (Great.) Heartbeat was 169 and I got to see the baby moving it's little arms and legs! It was the coolest.

The doctor also talked to me about my progesterone. I declined a blood test today since I'll likely get one on Friday and my arm needs a break. He suggested I'll be stopping cold turkey next Friday. I'll be 11w6d then, so I think I'm okay with that. I will talk to my OBGYN though and see if she wants to continue monitoring me. But now that I know the baby is growing on track, I'm definitely not as stressed about it anymore.

 

[Wish2BMom]

yeah, I'm not sleeping great either, but thankfully last night I slept soundly. I needed it. Nope, no cravings yet! Kinda wish I would have some. I cannot pass by a cupcake without taking one, though. I NEVER have a sweet tooth and I've bought KitKats on a whim, cupcakes, cake bites...if it's there, it's like the word 'no' doesn't exist.

oh and you asked about my bloods - my panel that they took at last week's OB appt hasn't come back yet (or they haven't told me about it) but I did get my progesterone check back sameday last Friday and I'm off PIO, estrodiol and baby aspirin. I didn't want to say anything b/c it was the day you found out you had to stay on PIO.
So now I'm just on prenatal, DHA and then my thyroid meds and they'll continue to monitor my thyroid throughout the pregnancy.

 

[scoobybeans]

wish- Um, sounds to me like you're craving sweets! Aww, you didn't have to spare my feelings about the PIO but thank you. I'm so glad all is well! And I'm so glad they're keeping a close eye on your thyroid. I really think that was your issue this whole time.

How is everyone else doing? Any fun plans for the weekend? DH and I might go to a local comic con, but my energy level is so low right now that the thought of being on my feet all day & fighting crowds is kinda...