January Jellybeans 2013!...

[JCh]

Inlaws family is trying to get names out of us, it's insane!
They're grilling DH about it and nearly getting him to break from the pressures...

We only just found out it's a boy and needed to work out some name issues (using or not using certain family names....) and both are a no-go, SO we have to go back to another option or choose something else.... We are pretty sure the first name but u never know PLUS since we know it's a boy, it would be nice to keep the name a secret or at least wait to tell them a bit later....

 

[sassy_mom]

MIL's.... ohh the joys.....

she gave us so much shit about not having kids at the wedding too... there are 21 kids... that would have been chaos!

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant!

WOA! 21! No way! Children, like men have no interest in things that aren't about them. hahaha! I'm sending DH and DD out for a date during my shower. As wonderful as she is, she would get super bored after about 10 minutes and I want to be able to enjoy my party.

Thank you!!!! You're right... why the hell would 5-10 year olds want to be there?! I dont understand just because its a BABY shower doesnt mean babies need to be present! Sorry if I want the day to be peaceful and about ME... I went to my husbands cousins shower a month ago and all the kids were there and they were opening all the presents... could you PLEASE not open my breast pump, thank you!

The children opening the gifts and crowding around the expectant mom annoy me. Kids need to be taught it's not always about them and how to be gracious! Plus, all those kids makes photo-ops very challenging.

Yea that is the worst!!!! And most moms understand and enjoy when they can get some time off to have a girls day or a day with friends. My in laws are probably going to not show up because I said no guys and no kids. hahaha! DH said his mom already knew about it even though we haven't even told her yet. SIL was probably angry because she actually can't drag her brats with her. So then she told MIL hahahahaha! We found it hilarious.

 

[mellywelly]

I was a bit jealous before about your baby shower culture, not any more! They sound like they can cause some huge problems! And I'm also glad my mil is so distant from us! She doesn't have much involvement,but therefore she doesn't cause any problems either.

 

[Little J]

I knew you girls would understand.

I feel very bad that her baby was born with heart defects but her problem is NOT my problem. I have done nothing to be insensitive in this situation. She attacked me because she's hurt and jealous. I understand the emotions and it's hard to control them, however, you can control what you say and type. Anything less than outward graciousness and joy is weakness. Feel what you want on the inside, but don't steal my joy because it hurts to see someone happy when you're sad.

even tho i was bitter, i kept it to myself and still congratulated and expressed my excitment for the other pregnant women. Just as long as they didnt purposly rub it in my face, i knew i had to be an adult and swallow the reality and know that someday itll be my turn (which im glad it is now!)

 

[DeedeeBeester]

I'm back! This was a super long weekend, MIL came back with us to spend a couple of days, since she took us to pick up our new car, and we left the old truck back at their house.

We spoke about baby shower, first weeks of november. Around 40 people we thought, all their family because I have non here in Texas. Sounds like it's gonna be fun.

 

[DittyByrd]

I knew you girls would understand.

I feel very bad that her baby was born with heart defects but her problem is NOT my problem. I have done nothing to be insensitive in this situation. She attacked me because she's hurt and jealous. I understand the emotions and it's hard to control them, however, you can control what you say and type. Anything less than outward graciousness and joy is weakness. Feel what you want on the inside, but don't steal my joy because it hurts to see someone happy when you're sad.

even tho i was bitter, i kept it to myself and still congratulated and expressed my excitment for the other pregnant women. Just as long as they didnt purposly rub it in my face, i knew i had to be an adult and swallow the reality and know that someday itll be my turn (which im glad it is now!)

Keeping it to yourself (or confiding in your DH or friend) takes strength and grace. It's the right thing to do. My heart breaks for you girls who have had a tougher road than me and I can't imagine ever trying to make some jealous. I am just so happy and excited I am bubbling over with news!

 

[Soniamillie01]

It's official, I may commit murder before the day is out, anyone know the going rate for aggravated murder? Lol

 

[mellywelly]

Your fil again Sonia?

 

[mellywelly]

Question for those that have bf before, when do I get bf bras? I've already gone from a d/dd to an f cup. Do I wait until it's born?

 

[sassy_mom]

It's official, I may commit murder before the day is out, anyone know the going rate for aggravated murder? Lol

hmmm ... a pregnant woman with crazed hormones ... perhaps scotch free!!!!!

 

[Soniamillie01]

Off free would be lovely! Yes the fil again, I even tried to convince dear hubby to travel home tonight, as they tried to deliver our pram today, we ordered yesterday on a two week wait, so we could get to depot before it closes, a 4 hr drive but no joy! If he insults me one more time I am going to lose it!

I got my breast feeding bras from MotherCare! They had some really good ones in the sale, I got e,f and g cups as wasn't sure, marked down from £36 to £15 and then at till they were £4 each! If they had more I would have bought them all! Maybe try online? X

 

[Soniamillie01]

On a good note we went to kiddicare in Peterborough today which is amazing! Highly recommend it if any of you ladies are local ish to it. Only downside was I had to spend three hours with fil bending my ear about stuff I was buying that I didn't need and they didn't have in their day, oh and advice on how to raise my child, from him the expert!

ARGGGHHHH

 

[JCh]

Question for those that have bf before, when do I get bf bras? I've already gone from a d/dd to an f cup. Do I wait until it's born?

Having the same dilema.... My gf waited until RIGHT before LO was born and it worked out but it just depends.... I'm kinda nervous....

 

[Little J]

OMG, i thought i was going to DIE lastnight from heartburn... ick, i really feel bad for those who suffer from that normally!

Luckily i have never had to experience it before pregnancy...

 

[sassy_mom]

OMG, i thought i was going to DIE lastnight from heartburn... ick, i really feel bad for those who suffer from that normally!

Luckily i have never had to experience it before pregnancy...

Yea I had some awful hb not too long ago. I've found out what foods trigger it and I stay away from those now. YUCK! Nasty stuff.

 

[jrowenj]

Hi ladies
I need some advice I've had 2 kids before so when I met dh he has no kids and mil and fil were all on board to have a baby shower for dh with their side of the family cuz its his first now after all planning and talking we call them last night and they throw it in my face it's not there job to do this for ME! Wtf???? I've had baby showers before they should do this for him to celebrate his first child am I wrong in this ? What should I think it do I'm confused? Please any feedback would be appreciated

what?! They are crazy. Were you going to have dh AT the shower? Maybe they would feel more comfrotable if he is at the shwer with you

 

[AJThomas]

Hi ladies, wow so much drama in here today!

Melly i read somewhere to wait until the last few weeks as your breast size will change when the milk comes in, so if you get any now, just get one or two i'd say.

Since MIL already gave us most of the stuff we need, we won't be having a shower. I don't mind though, i don't know if i would have wanted one anyway.

Ditty, your friend was out of line for sure. Just because she is having a hard time doesn't mean the whole world should be in mourning and mothers everywhere should be depressed about their babies. She has to realize the world does not revolve around her. There was a point when i couldn't stand to see babies or posts about "little princesses" etc. so i skipped over those pics or blocked those updates. Nobody is forcing her to read your updates, if it offends her she can filter them out so she doesn't see them. What about your family and friends who want to know what's going on, should they suffer because her feelings are hurt? She seriously needs to get over herself and i know i'd be very stern with her about it.

 

[snowangel187]

I need to share a story with you guys that is really bothering me.

I made several posts to FB in the last couple of days about being nervous about my anomaly scan and then with the good results and picture yesterday accompanied by a caption that said "Clean bill of health! Relieved and Excited!"

I got a private message from a distant friend who is never on FB and recently had a baby with a congenital heart defect. The baby is 4 months old and has had 2 open heart surgeries.

She approached the message with "I don't want to upset you or scare you BUT...." I knew this wasn't going to be good. Here are some snippets:

• "All the posts and comments on the anatomy us on how thank god it's normal and then people saying its always normal really upset me." - I didn't write anything about how scans are always normal. I know better. All I wrote was I was really nervous prior to scan and that scan was normal and I was relieved afterwards. And the folks who posted things about "of course it was normal" were just being encouraging!
  
• "Anyway I just wanted to say something bc no doubt u have a friend u don't even know if that has been through something u may not even know"
  
• "And these post made me so upset."

Am I not to post anything about my pregnancy if it is going well for fear of upsetting someone who can't get pregnant/lost a baby/has an ill child?
I am supposed to feel guilty for a normal anatomy scan?
I am supposed to feel guilty because your baby is sick and so far mine is not?

This really upset me. I understand she can be jealous and rightfully so. I find it inappropriate to even tell me she's unhappy with my joyful post. But to imply that I might be hurting other people because my pregnancy is healthier than hers is what really bothers me and that my posts are somehow inappropriate makes me so annoyed I want to cry.

In my opinion she had no right to say anything. If your post upset her that much she could easily hide you from her newsfeed or remove herself from your friends list. Honestly I would remove her. I just recently restricted my sil and bil because of one of my posts. It basically slammed mil's in general one of those funny quotes. So my bil told my sil and her panties got all in a bunch saying it was offensive and disrespectful. I told her I posted it cause it was funny. I showed dh and even he laughed. So I immediately restricted bil. After our conversation sil decided to tell mil. So she said something to dh. And dh in turn asked me to remove it. So sil was then blocked for causing drama. I'm sorry but this is the real world and last I knew a free country. So my fb will feature posts that I want posted. I don't deal with drama I delete drama causing people. sorry for my soapbox rant, but really I'd restrict her if you don't want to actually delete her.

I did however hide a video of my ultrasound showing baby's heartbeat from my brother and his girlfriend because they ha just miscarried and she was due about the same time as me. I would have felt like I was being cruel posting that when she had just lost her baby. But again that was a close family member not somebody taking up space in my fb list.

Hi ladies
I need some advice I've had 2 kids before so when I met dh he has no kids and mil and fil were all on board to have a baby shower for dh with their side of the family cuz its his first now after all planning and talking we call them last night and they throw it in my face it's not there job to do this for ME! Wtf???? I've had baby showers before they should do this for him to celebrate his first child am I wrong in this ? What should I think it do I'm confused? Please any feedback would be appreciated

I don't deal with stupid people very well so I would say "you should have told us from the beginning you didn't want to be involved in the celebration of your grandchild, my family will happily throw something to celebrate the new baby if you cant be bothered (if that's not an option then say you and dh will have a gathering) then I'd continue to say how sorry they'll miss such an important thing in dh's life. I wouldn't invite them. I don't deal with drama. My inlaws are constantly trying to get us to change the baby's name cause they don't like it. So dh said to his mom that's fine if you can't stand the name you don't need to be bothered to see her if it that offensive to you. She hung up the phone.

Question for those that have bf before, when do I get bf bras? I've already gone from a d/dd to an f cup. Do I wait until it's born?

I have a nursing bra brand new from dd that I'm keeping to have on hand but my suggestion is if you're unsure how much of a change there will be I would buy a couple of the nursing tank tops to get you by until your milk has come in then pick some up.

Off free would be lovely! Yes the fil again, I even tried to convince dear hubby to travel home tonight, as they tried to deliver our pram today, we ordered yesterday on a two week wait, so we could get to depot before it closes, a 4 hr drive but no joy! If he insults me one more time I am going to lose it! X

Sonia you may have gotten away with it before posting. Pretty sure this counts as premeditation. hope dh puts fil in his place or you're able to leave. I wouldn't bite my tongue. You're an adult and you don't need to be disrespected.

 

[jrowenj]

I like your style, Snow!!!

I just deactivated my facebook because I was sick of ppl getting offended at stupid shit I wrote!

 

[AJThomas]

Sonia your FIL sounds like my MIL, we went to see her at about 18 weeks or so, and she kept commenting on how much weight i had put on and what was i eating and how chubby even my cheeks are. Then last weekend when we went it was totally different, she kept commenting about how small i am and i need to eat more and am i sure the baby is healthy, and if the baby weighs less than 7lbs he isn't healthy and will have whatever issues, blah blah blah. I just said "well my midwife seems satisfied with my weight gain and each visit so far i've put on the weight she wants me to or even a little extra so i'm not worried." She just wouldn't shut up!