Jessie's Journey

[jessieles]

Tonight I am off to an open evening at a fertility clinic, two presentations from embryologists and then we get too wander around. I should have some ideas then of costs for iui, icsi, ivf, and then i can know what to save! Hopefully itll be interesting, i shall let you all know xx

 

[Babylove100]

Sounds great Jessie. Hope it all goes well tonight!

 

[mirandaprice]

Hope you learn a lot from the presentations!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

The open evening sounds fab. Have a great time and I hope you can find answers to costs etc. xxx

 

[jessieles]

Heya girls!

It was really interesting! A litle overwhelming, i found the whole thing really emotional!

But basically they were saying that if someone went to them saying they hadnt got pregnant theyd do :

Sperm Analysis (had that done)
Bloods day 1-3 and cd21 (had that done)
Ovary scan (had that done)
HSG/Laparoscopy (waiting for that)
Then possibly clomid (had that)

so i know im doing things correctly, it was really interesting to hear that clomid isnt actually as effective as people think, the stats for a pregnancy on clomid r quite low.

I felt quite positive afterwards because when they were talking about ivf/icsi it nearly always stated no previous pregnancies, so because me and dh have caught together twice, now i really think that once ive had the lap and dye, ill know exactly whats going on and maybe a flush of the tubes is all i need.

Im cd27 today, so due af around cd29/30. I have really sore boobs and i am crampy, but as well all know this could mean af just as much as a bfp. so time will tell, im not gonna test, just wait for af!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Your symptoms sound very promising honey. I am keeping everything crossed for a BFP in a few days. xx

 

[TinyLynne]

I completely understand the disappointment that comes after not being pregnant before your due date. To me, that day came and went like any other day. No more or less sad than the other days.

We are looking at IVF too, started saving, but still can't get over the shock of the price without having a guarantee.

I'm so glad you are Oing on your own! How wonderful that must feel!

Thinking of you all at this difficult time!

 

[jessieles]

So I did a test friday, bfn, and today started spotting. had a really emotional weekend, very hormonal. I like having a plan, but i feel like at the moment i cant have 1 because everytime i think maybe this month ill give ttc all ive got, i then think but what if there is something wrong like a tube blocked or endo, and then im just wastin my time, setting myself up for a heartache. the only thing i need to make me feel positive is a date for my lap and dye, its a joke. my pre op assessment was 8 weeks ago now and they said id have a date by sept, yet when i ring they just tell me to wait for a letter! argh!!

 

[Pickletilly]

Hang in there Jess, doctors and hospitals are so bloody frustrating, it's like nobody ever communicates and they don't get a shit. I of course am holding onto hope for you, even just for some answers. You deserve this so much, it's hard to watch you go through this still. I am saving some champagne for when you get your dream! (No really, I actually have a mini (1 glass) sealed bottle, waiting). Just remember that you are still lucky to have options and one of them will achieve pregnancy. All my love to you two xxxxxx

 

[jessieles]

So, I have finally have a date for my lap and dye ....99% anyway!

Typical, I booked a holiday to take my mind of ttc and the first date they offer is whilst I'm away, so i rang and nagged for another date and was given 14th December. Fab because I land back from NYC ON 12th so I was thinking i can lie on my sofa watchin xmas movies with my tree sparkling haha. Then I read in my instruction book that you cannot be menstruating whilst having the lap and dye...checked my calendar and Im due the day before!!

So rang them up and they said no defo cant be bleeding whilst having the lap and dye and they dont have another date until next year! So I spoke to my GP to find out if he can prescribe me something to prevent a period and he wont do this without my Consultants permission. So now chasing this up! OMG when will anything ever be easy!!!!!!!

 

[TinyLynne]

Glad you got your date dear! Even though it sounded like the world was working against you, you held it together and figured it all out!

You are going to have such a great vacation!!!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I hope you get that prescription and surgery can be scheduled for definite. It would be perfect, lovely holiday, taking it easy over Christmas and a great shot at TTC in the new year. Xx

 

[Pickletilly]

Jess can't you go on the pill to stop your period?? Like I used to do that for holidays..

 

[jessieles]

I dont have it anymore! Ive emailed the secratary asking for Noreistherone and she did say shed ask my Consultant to send a letter to the gp. so ive made an appt with 2nd nov with the gp. everything takes so long, im learning to be patient haha, when i email i like an answer the same day! I just cant see how peoples ops can be based on whether they r on, bcoz no1 asked me where in my cycle id b when the date was give, it was only that it was mentioned in my book, but some ppl dnt have regular cycles and whos to say ill come on on time?!

 

[TinyLynne]

So you still don't have an appointment?? So frustrating!

 

[jessieles]

My date is still 14th december, i just need to find someone to give me something to delay my period xx

 

[jessieles]

Ive decided im on a mission this cycle. Its my last full cycle before the lap and dye and we havent really ttc the last 2 months, this month im going to opk, bd as often as poss, use concieve plus, im back on the vitamins, im gonna try and do all i can to get that bfp!!

I am really struggling now with this whole journey, with the miscarriage, with it all. I have noticed that I am nothing like the person I used to be, i was always positive, happy in all situations, now i wake up and the first thing i think of is all this, Im emotional all the time, i could cry at the drop of a hat. Ive also become really sentimental, bought myself white lillies yesterday as my due date was tomorrow, im wearing my necklace all the time.

I sit and think to myself, you have a lovely home, a wonderful husband, new york planned, a lap and dye date, but i cant seem to get myself out of this black hole!

 

[Babylove100]

Jessie, you can buy noresthisterone online from Superdrug or Lloyds Pharmacy.

Got everything crossed for you that you don't need it and you get a bfp!!

Don't be too hard on yourself, it's a tough time and tomorrow being you edd won't be helping, take a deep breath and just smile, sounds silly but it really does help.

 

[TinyLynne]

I totally understand that feeling Jessie. hope you feel better soon and that you never have to do the lap and dye!

 

[Pickletilly]

Hun you have control over your home, hubby and holiday. You don't over conceiving. I'm afraid you will probably feel like this until your bfp. There was a program on itv called first heartbeat, her body had killer cells and her journey was tough, but she made it. If you haven't seen it I do recommend, it's sad but might make you feel less alone

So glad you have a date, I'm sure someone will help you out with stopping your period, even if I have to dig out my old bcp for you!