Tbfromlv, DBZ34, Nixnax, LuLu_TTC, and Bre1990 ... Thank you all for the positive and constructive responses. Like many, I’m sure, I thought my relationship would be immune to the stress of TTC. It seems so simple – we have amazing sex all month long, so when I track O and want to BD intentionally, it shouldn’t be any different. But, it’s SOO different!
I have spent some time self-reflecting today, reliving last night’s conversation, and thinking forward constructively given the advice from you wonderful ladies. I think you are absolutely right that not disclosing the fertile window, and especially O date, will alleviate the pressure DH is experiencing. I am overly sensitive to it, as he doesn’t want a baby and is doing this all for me, so anything I can do to make this more pleasant for him makes it more pleasant for me.
I need to let go of the urgency. I’m so grateful that we are trying at all – so perhaps doing it “his way” (while still doing it my way, just making him think it’s his way!
) is the right thing to do.
You ladies are keeping me sane right now! The only people who know we are trying are DH’s dad (because he asks every time we talk) and DH’s ex-wife (we are all close).
DH’s ex-wife is giving us a stroller, which stresses me out. DH’s stance is “if we build it, they will come” … mine is that I don’t want to stare at the stroller every month while getting BFNs until AF. He suggested I start collecting baby things when I see them on the cheap, and I’m over here thinking I’ll never get pregnant and might have to get cats to push around in the stroller!