June Baby Angels

[angel2010]

I'm so sorry Miizze

 

[sweetmommaof2]

Well ladies another one of the June babies didnt make it - I found out last night that my 11+2 baby was measuring 7+2 and had no hb - we saw a HB at 6+6 3rd mmc for me and frankly I think ive had enough now - time to count the blessings I do have. Seeing Dr later about options as I have had 1 tiny clot and wipe of blood and that was it, over 24 hrs ago. Have had 2 operations in the past - Mizze x

Oh Mizze! I am so sorry for your loss! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you find an amazing doctor that can help you. If you ever need to talk just message me!

 

[Mizze]

thanks ladies - its a sad thread to belong to but one where we can help each other out a bit hopefully

I feel fine - apart from having no energy and no ability to sleep (gave up at 4am) I also have a stinking cold. But im not grieving and having been through this twice before I know my reaction isnt the same as previously. It doesnt help I think that after that 1 wipe of blood Monday morning and 1 tiny clot about 3 hours later I have NOTHING to show that my baby died - and died a month ago - I hate that, I really hate (I remember last time being FILLED with rage about this) that my body betrays me by lying to me about being pregnant when im not. I hate it gives me symtoms - my nausea was almost constant and certainly daily until Sunday ffs!

But all of that is something I can think about dispationately - im not FEELING anything really - ive barely cried in the last 36 hrs - and im a huge crier - I cry at everything and I sobbed my way through the first days of both previous mmc's. This time I cried yesterday morning because I realised this time had really hit my husband hard - now (after the birth of our DD whom he adores) he realises what we have lost in a way he simply couldnt understand before and he is grieving hard this time whereas last time his role was to support me in my grief more than anything else.

Sorry this post has gone all rambly!

I am seeing my early preg unit at 10.10 tomorrow - although I have the results of the private scan (seen Monday evening) which confirmed the mmc they want to confirm it for themselves before they talk "options"

Mizzze xx

 

[nessaw]

Mizzee am so sorry.

Its amazing how the body carries on with the symptoms.in my case i had them until the day of the scan.the day after they were gone.i suppose the brain kicks in and takes charge.

Am just so sorry that any of us have ended up in this thread.love to u all x

 

[Mizze]

Good night's sleep last night - courtesey of Night Nurse - but feel a little groggy today - I had my first tablet at the hospital this morning and have to go back Saturday for the rest. I was a bit shocked when the nurse said that if I started bleeding heavily in between then could I save it and bring it in with me so they could see if id passed all of the pregnancy - that shook me I have to say. Frankly I have no idea whether I can do that. Even in hosptial I have to take a bedpan with me when I go to the loo so they can examine what is happening. Im not at all sure id have chosen this route if I knew that yesterday.

Anyway - the disconnect continues - I was able to chat unconcernedly with the 4th yr medical student who asked for an interview - its not as though its happening to someone else but it is as though the loss isnt touching me. Weird and a bit odd to be honest -I wasnt like this with the previous losses at all

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be to all

Mizze x

 

[cupcake1981]

Hey Mizze

I joined the June 2013 PAL thread a few weeks into my pregnancy, but left quickly again as a few girls were having spottimg and stuff and it was scaring me as I'd had a loss b4. I still pop on that thread occasionally to see how everyone's doing and saw your sad news the other day. I sadly lost my baby 2 weeks ago, my second mmc, this time at 9 weeks and baby only 8+3. Mmc is torture isn't it. I don't trust my body at all anymore, although the scary post operative bleeding I had was enough to convince me that I NEVER want to go through a natural mc either.

I'm so sorry you find yourself here hun, I hate that I'm back in the miscarriage forum again. It totally sucks.

You have a child dont you? Take comfort in having her around. Mcs are awful, awful things, but they are even worse if you can imagine it when youve don't have a child already.

Hugs xxx

 

[bluebird]

Cupcake and Mizze- I'm so sorry. Big hugs to the both of you, I had a MMC that we discovered last Wednesday at 11 weeks. This is so hard, I miss my June baby so so so much.

 

[Mizze]

mmc's are the pits - after my second one I wanted my Faith back so I could march down to the local church and scream blue murder at my priest! I felt so betrayed by my body

This time Im numb - I didnt trust my body this time round I have learnt it lies to me in pregnancy and this time the lie was really powerful as my nausea mirrored the successful pregnancy (my third) with my daughter lulling me into a false sense of security as it was so much stronger than with my previous miscarriages. But this time I know all this but there is no emotion to go alongside the knowledge.

Cupcake is right though, in some ways its far easier because I have a child. In other ways its harder because she might now never know the joy of a sibling in the way DH and I (who are so close to our families) do and I know DH finds this mc harder because he really grasps what we have lost this time.

Mizze xx

 

[bluebird]

This is so so hard. How old is your little girl? Mine is 16 months and I want her to have a sibling so badly. I was so excited for her to have a little brother/sister just 2 years younger than her.... It would have been so much fun for the two of them. It hurts so much that we were given that gift and now its gone.
I hope you don't give up and I hope that you are able to give that priceless gift to your daughter one day.

 

[sweetmommaof2]

Had a hard past two days... first on tuesday one of my friends that are preggers with a june baby had her dating ultrasound and her baby was a week and a half behind what mine was... it hurt because I heard her say just a few weeks before she got preggers that she didn't want another baby and now she is super excited (she got pregnant while using bc)... then yesterday was my follow up which was suppose to be my dating ultrasound... I am happy for her but it breaks my heart on why couldn't I be enjoying these joys with her... Yesterday was my follow up to check and make sure everything is ok... Everything checked out ok... there was still some blood in my uterus so she said I will probably start spotting again soon... they also seen my uterus is completely flipped backwards, they said that wouldn't do anything in my pregnancy except make it so I don't show til the 20 week mark... she said that she doesn't want me to do anything til I have had 3 normal cycles... yay fun... she said it could take up to 4-6 weeks for my #s to drop down to the 5 or less mark... got the results of that today and it was good news... well not really but it is for what has all happened... it has already dropped down to 8.4 so a lot faster that what the normal is then... hugs and love to all...
Just wanted to say yes this is a sad thread... I made it because I wanted to be able to talk about what had happened and how I feel and also find out what others are going through and maybe we can help eachother and I feel none of you would judge me if I posted something sad... hugs ladies and will be praying for all of you

 

[Megan1986]

Our June angel was due June 7. D&C at 8w5d, didnt measure past 6w3d. We saw a hb at 6w0d. Baby Hope was taken too soon, but we loved him/her very much.

 

[Mizze]

Sweet One of my best friends is having her baby in January - Im seeing her today for the first time since I found out - its going to be damn hard. I dont begrudge her happiness (she had years of ttc and 3 failed iui's before she caught) but its going to be difficult. This thread is what we need - thank you for starting it xx

Megan xxxx

Feel rubbish but no bleeding from the tablets as yet - still on for the hospital tomorrow
Still feeling detached from it all and am starting to worry that it will all come crashing over me like a great tsunami when I do start to bleed- hope that makes sense.

and support to all xx

Mizze xx

 

[sweetmommaof2]

Our June angel was due June 7. D&C at 8w5d, didnt measure past 6w3d. We saw a hb at 6w0d. Baby Hope was taken too soon, but we loved him/her very much.

I am so sorry for your loss megan! lots of hugs!

 

[sweetmommaof2]

Sweet One of my best friends is having her baby in January - Im seeing her today for the first time since I found out - its going to be damn hard. I dont begrudge her happiness (she had years of ttc and 3 failed iui's before she caught) but its going to be difficult. This thread is what we need - thank you for starting it xx Megan xxxx Feel rubbish but no bleeding from the tablets as yet - still on for the hospital tomorrow Still feeling detached from it all and am starting to worry that it will all come crashing over me like a great tsunami when I do start to bleed- hope that makes sense. and support to all xx Mizze xx

It makes a lot of sense to me. That is how I felt... I was bleeding for over a week before I even started the medication so I felt really numb until I passed the baby. When it does happen just know we are here for you! lots of hugs and stay strong. I know it is hard as I see one of my friends all the time that would be a week and a half behind what I would have been. Stay strong and know that we are here! x

 

[sweetmommaof2]

Mizze how did your visit go today??? Hope you are doing ok.
Today was a very long and tiring day... didnt get to bed til midnight... woke up coughing and couldn't stop or fall back to sleep for 3 hrs! then had to wake up at 6 to get the girls to school and head to work... started early... 930 and we close at 6... every minute after 6 the parents get charged a dollar and minute... one set of parents didn't show up til 620 and the other set not til 730 (I took her son off the clock because that would just be way too much money and we had our fall festival going on so I took him to it) finally got home around 845 pm and am just tired! super tired! I think I am getting a lot tired lately is because my body still isn't fully recovered from my mmc... night everyone lots of hugs and prayers xx

 

[Mizze]

Sweet hun, get some rest! xxx

Well the visit from my friend was fine even when I hugged her and felt the bump I felt nothing - the only thing I wanted to do was give it a pat and say hi - How disconnected am I!

Hosptial in an hour - feel scared- They want me to take a bedpan to the loo and bring out everything I pass -the thought makes me feel terrified and sick. Im committed now but oh man I wish I didnt have to do that

Love to all - especically to a dear friend who has just found herself in the same situation

Mizze xx

 

[MrsPhez]

Sweet hun, get some rest! xxx

Well the visit from my friend was fine even when I hugged her and felt the bump I felt nothing - the only thing I wanted to do was give it a pat and say hi - How disconnected am I!

Hosptial in an hour - feel scared- They want me to take a bedpan to the loo and bring out everything I pass -the thought makes me feel terrified and sick. Im committed now but oh man I wish I didnt have to do that

Love to all - especically to a dear friend who has just found herself in the same situation

Mizze xx

Oh Mizze, I'm so so sorry. I haven't been on this thread at all, even though I should because you know I also lost my June bean at the end of October. But you have been through so much with your mmcs. I feel the same as you really, hardly cried apart from when friendscan pics started appearing on FB. Maybe because we will try again.....count your blessings for the one you do have, as I do, you don't realise what miracles they are until you go through a m/c....sending you big hugs and hope your hubby is OK

 

[cupcake1981]

Mizze hope it all goes to plan today and you get through it as best you can xxx

 

[angel2010]

Mizze

 

[MrsPhez]

Thinking of you today Mizze

So I also lost a June baby, due the 10th and lost at 7.5 weeks but don't think it was really 7.5 weeks, I think it may even have been a blighted ovum as my HCG 3 days after I started bleeding was only 217. Hada natural, pain-free m/c which lasted 11 days and HCG 3 days later was 11.
I'm ready to give it another shot so have started opks and charting.

Sorry for all the recent losses