June Baby Angels

[StefNJunk]

I spent most of my weekend in pjs and lounging on the couch, too tired to do much. Nearly passed out in a store yesterday, though, when I found out OHs mom had gotten Xmas presents for the baby.

I know the feeling of trying too hard to move on. There were moments this weekend where I felt good, ready to move on, then I felt guilty for feeling good. We can't win! Everyone deals with things differently, though, so I know with time it'll be better. I'm trying to see it this way - the losses are sad, but they are happening because our perfect, healthy LOs aren't quite ready for us yet.

I want to try again ASAP, so we will probably wait the one cycle again, like we did last time. I think the only thing that would change this is if we find a house quickly and the stress of moving puts it off a bit.

vegasbaby, do you have a journal on here?

 

[Middysquidge]

Hi girls,

I'm annoyed with Kate and Wills being pregnant, I don't want everyone to go baby crazy like they went wedding crazy when they got married! How selfish of them, hehe, just kidding! It gives me an incentive though to get my BFP before theirs is born!

Also started knitted my baby blanket and thought to myself, 'You're in here somewhere between the start and finish of this blanket baby!'

Also, just found out OH is off to Las Vegas with work possibly more than likely during our first 'o' in January!

Welcome to the thread sweetmommaof2, your girls are gorgeous!

Stef, sorry to hear you're not feeling too good.

vegasbaby, I take my hat off to you running so soon after the d&c, all I did was drink wine and I got very dizzy! Hope you didn't push it too much.

Masses of hugs for the June angels today x

 

[vegasbaby]

Stef: I'm glad you did have some moments of happiness this weekend. I hear there will be more of those moments and fewer of the sad ones. Don't feel guilty about being happy. I do keep trying to focus on the positive which is that it is the holidays and now I have no restrictions on what I can eat, drink or do. They have set up an ice skating rink here (we are in Florida so it is a real treat) and I think I want to go ice skating as I've never done it before. If I was still pg then I wouldn't have gone.

No, I do not have a journal. Maybe I should start one. I feel all I would do right now is fill it with a bunch of rage. Maybe I'll start one when I am cleared to TTC so I can document a more positive journey (though a frustrating one, if it takes as long as this past time). I am lucky enough that there is a thread for other women who have gone through molar pregnancies and I see how many of them have their rainbows and that gives me hope. I am fully confident that all of who were to have June babies will get pregnant with our rainbows in the nearish future.

 

[StefNJunk]

Jasmineivy, I got annoyed with my cousin's pregnancy myself! Although, to be fair, she's just annoying as is! The day I was waiting to go for the ultrasound to find out if I was miscarrying she posted on Facebook about how happy she is with her perfect pregnancy, no morning sickness, not too much weight gain, perfect perfect perfect. Honestly, it's all she ever posts about. She's mentioned how she has to not gain too much weight because she has two weddings to be at shortly after the baby is born. I started thinking about unsubscribing from her updates, and finally did the other day when she posted she doesn't think she should have to go to jury duty because she's 6 months pregnant and she'd rather spend the day shopping.

Anyway, mini rant done! I just know your LO will be happily baking when you finish that blanket!

 

[StefNJunk]

Stef: I'm glad you did have some moments of happiness this weekend. I hear there will be more of those moments and fewer of the sad ones. Don't feel guilty about being happy. I do keep trying to focus on the positive which is that it is the holidays and now I have no restrictions on what I can eat, drink or do. They have set up an ice skating rink here (we are in Florida so it is a real treat) and I think I want to go ice skating as I've never done it before. If I was still pg then I wouldn't have gone.

No, I do not have a journal. Maybe I should start one. I feel all I would do right now is fill it with a bunch of rage. Maybe I'll start one when I am cleared to TTC so I can document a more positive journey (though a frustrating one, if it takes as long as this past time). I am lucky enough that there is a thread for other women who have gone through molar pregnancies and I see how many of them have their rainbows and that gives me hope. I am fully confident that all of who were to have June babies will get pregnant with our rainbows in the nearish future.

I can't really think about things I can do now that I couldn't, it makes me too sad. OH asked if I wanted a Dr. Pepper and told me "You're going to be impreggerated (yes, he used this word, lol) again very soon, you might want to do things you wouldn't do before for a minute."

I almost feel like my journal right now is too filled with sadness, but I also felt the need to start it now. I'm not very comfortable talking to most people about my emotions, but because there are so many women here going through the same or similar situations, I feel much better about opening up, and I do believe it's helping.

If you do decide to start one, be sure to let me know.

Anyone else here that has one, I'd love the links!

 

[vegasbaby]

Jasmine: I read the news about Will and Kate today and thought, gosh not another pregnancy. Of course I also thought if she is having such severe morning sickness then it is still pretty early for them to be announcing and how horrible it would be if they lost their baby and had to tell the whole world. The world has been on bump watch since they got hitched and it sort of sucks for them that they can't keep the news to themselves for very long.

I drank wine too. It was wonderful.

Sorry your dh will be gone during your o time. If he needs/wants any info on Vegas, I lived there up until three years ago and worked at one of the casinos so I can tell you anything you want to know. January is a great time to be there as it is normal winter and not so hot as it is in the summer. Can you go too? My dd was conceived there (we moved to Orlando when I was 35 weeks pregnant). Perhaps I need to go back as maybe that is my lucky place. We still own our house there and rent it to a friend. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we "borrowed" one of the bedrooms for a few minutes .

 

[jessandaj]

Hi girls,

I'm annoyed with Kate and Wills being pregnant, I don't want everyone to go baby crazy like they went wedding crazy when they got married! How selfish of them, hehe, just kidding! It gives me an incentive though to get my BFP before theirs is born!

Also started knitted my baby blanket and thought to myself, 'You're in here somewhere between the start and finish of this blanket baby!'

Also, just found out OH is off to Las Vegas with work possibly more than likely during our first 'o' in January!

Welcome to the thread sweetmommaof2, your girls are gorgeous!

Stef, sorry to hear you're not feeling too good.

vegasbaby, I take my hat off to you running so soon after the d&c, all I did was drink wine and I got very dizzy! Hope you didn't push it too much.

Masses of hugs for the June angels today x

I was annoyed to I mean shes a princess she can have whatever she wants and doesn't have to work for it just cause a balding prince choose to marry her and we have to flipping hear about it all day even thoug it affects us in no way what they do cause we don't live there. Well at least I don't anyways I don't know about everybody lol

 

[Middysquidge]

Jasmineivy, I got annoyed with my cousin's pregnancy myself! Although, to be fair, she's just annoying as is! The day I was waiting to go for the ultrasound to find out if I was miscarrying she posted on Facebook about how happy she is with her perfect pregnancy, no morning sickness, not too much weight gain, perfect perfect perfect. Honestly, it's all she ever posts about. She's mentioned how she has to not gain too much weight because she has two weddings to be at shortly after the baby is born. I started thinking about unsubscribing from her updates, and finally did the other day when she posted she doesn't think she should have to go to jury duty because she's 6 months pregnant and she'd rather spend the day shopping.

Anyway, mini rant done! I just know your LO will be happily baking when you finish that blanket!

Thanks Stef, I have had to remove so many people from my home page subsribes, not through pregnancy issues but just because they annoy me so much. Then one night I drank loads of wine and deleted about 150 friends, oops, so I have about 90 now. So I can imagine why you did that, even more so with her lack of sensitivity!

The day after I had my operation my sister in law asked me to make their baby a mohair bear (They take about a fortnight to make). She didn't mean me any harm on purpose but I was literally so upset, angry even! I thought why an earth would I want to sit around making your baby a bear when I have just had mine surgically removed, arggggghhhhh, people don't understand! I know it's not their fault. Still annoying though, gosh I'm horrible

 

[Middysquidge]

Jasmine: I read the news about Will and Kate today and thought, gosh not another pregnancy. Of course I also thought if she is having such severe morning sickness then it is still pretty early for them to be announcing and how horrible it would be if they lost their baby and had to tell the whole world. The world has been on bump watch since they got hitched and it sort of sucks for them that they can't keep the news to themselves for very long.

I drank wine too. It was wonderful.

Sorry your dh will be gone during your o time. If he needs/wants any info on Vegas, I lived there up until three years ago and worked at one of the casinos so I can tell you anything you want to know. January is a great time to be there as it is normal winter and not so hot as it is in the summer. Can you go too? My dd was conceived there (we moved to Orlando when I was 35 weeks pregnant). Perhaps I need to go back as maybe that is my lucky place. We still own our house there and rent it to a friend. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we "borrowed" one of the bedrooms for a few minutes .

Hey, ooh I just clicked you are 'Vegasbaby' I'm so clever, NOT!
Thank you so much! I may be getting back to you with a few questions then! He will be there from 5th to 12th January with work, I can't go, we work at the same place though but no! Apparently he is going to the Consumer Electronic Show, I know sounds exciting doesn't it! Actually, he doesn't want to go, he's such a bore I mean homebody, hehe! I'm encouraging him all the way, apart from the 'o' situation it's a great opportunity! We concieved our dd in York where we used to live and we're moving back there soon, that thought crossed my mind too, we walk passed our old house all the time and I thought I wonder of we could just sneak in and have a quick bonk, I'm sure neither of them would mind at all! Especially not yours though, I mean what are friends for, do it!

Also, about Wills and Kate, I read somewhere that they were passed first tri but then the acute sickness, would that go on passed first tri? I hope they don't lose it but seen as though the palace announced it I reckon they will have had numerous scans and be at a safe enough time! I'm still annoyed with them though, just for the record!

 

[Middysquidge]

ps Vegasbaby, I drank wine it was wonderful comment made me chuckle! I know I'm making myself sound like a right wino on here, it's not intentional, I promise! x x

 

[Meli_H]

Mamma74: I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with Meli, it might be a good idea to call your doctor and discuss the fever. You need to take care of yourself at this time.

Meli: I don't think I am going to do much differently when I ttc because I think I finally figured out what worked for us. OPK's, vitamin B6 (to help lengthen my short luteal phase) and vitamin C (because it can't hurt and I hear it helps). I bought those cheap Wondfro OPK's off of Amazon along with HPT's of the same brand. I think I paid $15 for 40 OPK's and 10 HPT's all together. I use the cheap OPKs every day until I get what looks like a positive and then I check it with my very expensive Clearblue monitor that gives me a smiley face if it is positive. This way I was not wasting money. I monitored for two months before I got my bfp whereas I had been trying almost a year before I started all this. Not sure when I will start monitoring again. I think my doctor will insist I use some sort of birth control for a few months while they monitor my hcg levels (again, I had a weird pregnancy that includes a lot of medical follow-up).

I really need to start decorating the house for Christmas, but I think the manger scene might upset me. I started crying the other day when I read the story of the nativity to my dd. She just handed me some stupid game of hers that requires her to spell out the word "baby" and now that has upset me. There are reminders everywhere I look and it is hard to get my emotions in check at the moment. How are all you handling things?

Hi vegasbaby,

BTW, keep meaning to tell you that your DD is too cute!! Thanks for the Vit C info-I bought some last night and have added it to my arsenal LOL. I wish I would have thought to buy the OPK’s and HPT’s online..oh well. Hopefully I won’t need to buy too many more

Our tradition is to decorate inside and outside during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. This year, I had already decided to take a break from the full on decorating, because my intention was to start decorating my nursery during my winter holiday/xmas break. (I work for a college and we get 2 weeks off, plus I add some accrued vacation time, and I end up being out for 3 weeks). I wanted to do all the nursery decorating and not have to deal with breaking down and putting all the xmas decorations away in January. Decorating is fun, but I *hate* taking down and putting them away….

Obviously, we don’t have a need for a nursery at this point, but during my “pity party” I decided to stick with the plan of not decorating. Don’t get me wrong-we will still put up a xmas tree and decorate it, and of course purchase gifts for my family, but we won’t be going crazy with the decorations.

I feel the same as you….but I alternate between trying to pretend this didn’t happen, and getting depressed and mope around…Still haven’t brought myself to work out (I’ve been milking the convalescence period for much too long but it gets cold around here and it’s hard to leave the comfort of my home to workout with DH in the evenings). I have promised myself to start my regular gym workout class tomorrow…for sure!

When I can, I try look at the positive side of things, as you mentioned. Want a margarita? Have one! Want some sangria? Have some more LOL! Will also be going to do some snow activities next month that I couldn’t do had I still been pg…

 

[Meli_H]

Hi Jasmine, vegasbaby and jessandj,

I thought the same thing this morning when I read the news about Kate Middleton’s pg news. OMG! As if I don’t have enough reminders, now I’ll have to deal with this cr*p. I kind of feel like she maybe is close to as far as along as I *should* have been right now--15 weeks. It’s not fair…but I guess I have to deal with it.

Oh, and I’m realizing that I probably sound like an alcoholic, but I don’t care

As long as I don’t drink when I’m TTC, it’s all good. I plan to keep enjoying my ‘adult’ drinks at least throughout this year, and see what happens lol

Update: I think AF finally arrived on Sat Dec 1! Light cramping (nowhere near my usual unbearable cramping pains), and the flow is nowhere near my usual monthly flow, but it is heavier than the spotting/bleeding I've been experiecing since my MC 11/1/12. I guess I'll know for sure if I finally stop bleeding in a few days, but I'm hopeful so that my cycle can get back to regular schedule...

 

[vegasbaby]

Jasmine/Meli: Neither of you sound like winos/alcoholics. Of course I may be one so it is hard for me to judge. Btw, when I conceived my dd I wasn't charting and wasn't really trying and the day before I found out I was pregnant I went out with some friends and drank a lot. I also had some wine after getting my bfp, but before I saw my doctor. The moral of this story is that she is perfect and a glass or two while ttc should have no ill effects. No reason to worry more than we already will.

Meli: Thank you for saying my dd is cute. She is, but she is a handful! I feel guilty on here that I have a child when so many of you don't. She has been a great distraction for me, but then I look at her and wonder why it couldn't happen again. She took no effort to get here and tried for my angel for almost a year. Perhaps the universe was trying to tell me not to worry so much about my ability to conceive, but the universe gets the final word on when I get to have my earth baby. That is the new spin I'm putting on things. Can we try to buy into that?

Meli, congrats on your AF. Are you going to try again or are you not ready yet?

Jasmine: I would have been upset about your SIL's request too. Also, I know all about the CES in Vegas. It is the biggest convention of the year. It is also worth noting that it usually falls on the same week as the big porn convention and the adult entertainment awards (I am not joking). When I worked at one of the casinos (I had an office job) we would reserve a table at a restaurant near the lobby so we could watch the porn stars walking around. It was really something to see and I saw a lot on a daily basis living in Vegas.

Stef: I understand about not wanting to talk to people about the experience. Writing it all down is so much easier and it does help. I think keeping it all in would just make it worse. Also I like your oh's term "impreggerated". Sounds like something my dh would say.

OK, off to go grocery shopping. My dh thinks we should all still eat.

 

[Middysquidge]

Wooohhooo congrats on your AF Meli, that's exactly a month after your miscarriage, that's great! I have everything crossed for you for ttc! I think I might be ovulating very soon, it's very annoying just ignoring it and waiting but it's the right decision!

Ohh Vegasbaby, my OH is gonna love that! I'll probably be a nervous wreck though, haha, I just told him about it, it's VERY pleased! Is the porn convention in the same building? Maybe I'll get OH to bring us back some awesome porn, will make ttc all the more fun, hehe! It's so funny that you used to camp out and spy on all the porn stars, that sounds really fun!

x

 

[Meli_H]

vegasbaby,

You bring up good points. I have to admit, when I was 6 weeks pregnant, I had a sip (just a little one) of beer. We were at a fair, and it was so HOT and I was dying of thirst, and the cold beer just looked so good…My dh gave me his cup and said, “go ahead and have a sip. nbd”. I looked around to make sure that my mom, sil or other family wasn’t looking, and took a quick sip. It was heaven! And that quick sip erased any craving I had for more cold beer lol!

There’s no need for you to feel guilty about having your dd when some of us don’t have one yet. I know that you know that, because it’s not a rational thought, but then again, we ALL go through rational and irrational stages, right! I’m happy you have a dd already--wishing you another healthy baby! I LOVE the following comment you made, and agree wholeheartedly:Perhaps the universe was trying to tell me not to worry so much about my ability to conceive, but the universe gets the final word on when I get to have my earth baby.

I think we'll start trying in January. I want to have one full cycle before i start trying, so hopefully in the beginning/mid of January we will start trying, and this time I'll do the Robitussin thing too!

 

[Meli_H]

Wooohhooo congrats on your AF Meli, that's exactly a month after your miscarriage, that's great! I have everything crossed for you for ttc! I think I might be ovulating very soon, it's very annoying just ignoring it and waiting but it's the right decision!

Ohh Vegasbaby, my OH is gonna love that! I'll probably be a nervous wreck though, haha, I just told him about it, it's VERY pleased! Is the porn convention in the same building? Maybe I'll get OH to bring us back some awesome porn, will make ttc all the more fun, hehe! It's so funny that you used to camp out and spy on all the porn stars, that sounds really fun!

x

Thanks Jasmine!

I know what you mean. ALthough I don't plan to TTC this month, I still plan to track my ovulation, just to make sure everything's back in order soon (crossing my fingers).

If my dh was going to vegas at the same time during a porn convention, i would be a wreck, and resentful too LOL~! I don't know how you can deal with it, you're a stronger woman than I am lol!

 

[vegasbaby]

Today has been hard. I realized after I dropped my dd off at mother's day out that a week ago at the same time I was heading off to my ob appointment so I could hear my baby's heartbeat. As we know I heard nothing but bad news.

I go in tomorrow for my check up and I don't know what to expect my doctor to say other than the fact that she is going to want to take blood for a while until my hcg goes down/away and I'm sure I'll get some lecture about needing to go on birth control since I will not be "allowed" to TTC for a while.

A week ago today should have been so different. Today I am less than one week past my d&c, but my body has already started to revert back to its old self. I've lost the two baby pounds I packed on plus some (even though I have been eating quite a lot). My boobs are deflated and my stomach is back to its flatish state (no matter what I've done to work on it since having my dd it still has a bit of flab). The only physical signs left are the bruises on my arms from the crappy IV job. I look a bit like a junkie and sometimes I wish I could take something to escape from all this. I knew there would be bad days, but part of me hoped I could be stronger than this.

Jasmine: I hate to disappoint you or your dh, but I checked and the adult entertainment expo doesn't start until January 17 and the CES is over on the 11th. There used to be some overlap, but not any more. Rest assured there will still be 1000's of hookers in town for the CES convention. Remember, most of the CES attendees are tech guys who don't have wives nor the social skills to obtain a girlfriend and these nice hookers make it easy on the socially awkward. My dh and I used to like to play "guess the hooker" when we were out at night on the strip. It is pretty obvious when some old ugly dude is hanging out with a totally beautiful and very young woman. Also, they mostly all wear black dresses and hang out at the central bars of each casino. My father in law was even propositioned once. Hilarious. And to think I moved away from that place to the land of Disney. My how times have changed!

 

[Middysquidge]

Hi Vegas and other girls,

Sorry to hear you have had a hard day Vegas. Don't think that you are not strong because you might just surprise yourself, it's only 6 days since your op. Mine was almost two weeks ago now and I'm only just starting to feel more positive about things.

I know it's slightly harder for you as you have to wait though, that really is shit but I think you'll find the headspace to deal with it and you will get through it. I have a little girl who looks to be around the same age as yours. She is called Eva and is turning three next week and she gets me through things with her crazy outlook on the world. I like to see things through her eyes sometimes! She is a right little character. It's so amazing to see her growing up and becoming her own person, not a little baby anymore!

I had an appointment in my diary to hear my baby's heartbeat on 27th December, it upset to see that too. My boobs are back to being smaller now and where my womb had began to pop out and be really rounded is now flat again and it makes me feel really empty and down.

About the convention, I'm secretly glad haha! I don't want my OH going off the rails with some sexy hooker, that's not part of the plan! For a start he is meant to be in Yorkshire bonking his little butt off! Yeah, Las Vegas to Orlando that is some juxtaposition isn't it! That's like our lives too! We lived in Liverpool for years, we led a very different life, had no kids, did what we wanted, went to some crazy parties, took all kinds of drugs all of the time and now we are so straight laced you wouldn't believe it, live in a little village, never go out, hardly ever drink, ahem! All we want now is another baby!

I hope you will be okay, it will get easier for you and good luck at the docs! Meli and Stef, you're both starting ttc in January then, that's the same as me! How about you Jessandj? When are you trying lovely and sweetmommaof2? Stef, I hope you are starting to feel a little brighter too? I kind of feel a bit redundant atm, I only work three days a week and that was okay when I was pg but now I'm not I feel guilty about it and feel guilty that my dd seems bored and is ready for school! I can't get anymore hours at work and I'm kind of scared they will strategically make me redundant now they know I want to go off on maternity!

p.s Sweetmommaof2, I'm so sorry I said welcome to the thread to you when you bloodywell started it, I'm a right goon, sorry x

x x x

 

[angel2010]

Sorry I have been MIA lately, I will try to catch up with everyone tonight.

 

[Middysquidge]

Was wondering where you had gone angel! Hope you're okay x What's MIA? x