- Joined
- Oct 23, 2021
- Messages
- 371
- Reaction score
- 273
Hi all. I appologize un advance for the novel. I've been quietly lurking these past few days for the most part... I always seem to lose hope around this time. I went into this month with such a good feeling (heck even last month I had good feelings about a possible Feb due date), even my youngest just yesterday told me he hears another baby in my tummy! (He's autistic and very intune with his senses, and the kids do not know we are trying, so it was totally random) but I'm 9 dpo today and took another test this morning, and of course it was negative once again.
Logically I know it's still slightly on the early side and that this could still change, but realistically no matter how much I tell myself that, it's not going to change anything. It's just that sucky intuitive feeling that you know you're out (yet again) getting to me. Though the lines of intuition have definitely begun to blur with both hoplessness and desperation. I just wish I knew for sure what obstacles are standing in our way. Why? Why after 18 cycles in do I have nothing to show for it?
At this point I feel like it's never going to happen naturally, but the husband still isn't on board with getting assistance. We had such excellent timing this month too! I really don't know what more we can do on our own.
If anyone has any recommendations on a good indept fertility test that I can buy and do from home, (that won't break the bank) I'd be interested in seeing what my hormones look like. I know its no replacement for actual medical advice, but I just need some answers. Not that I have any reason to believe I'm the one with fertility issues all of a sudden, but the "what if" is always looming over my head lately..and when it comes to fertility, military drs won't take a look at the woman until the male has been ruled out, so if I want testing done, it would be out of pocket either way.
Praying for a miracle... but I feel like it will be on to cycle 19 soon..
Logically I know it's still slightly on the early side and that this could still change, but realistically no matter how much I tell myself that, it's not going to change anything. It's just that sucky intuitive feeling that you know you're out (yet again) getting to me. Though the lines of intuition have definitely begun to blur with both hoplessness and desperation. I just wish I knew for sure what obstacles are standing in our way. Why? Why after 18 cycles in do I have nothing to show for it?
At this point I feel like it's never going to happen naturally, but the husband still isn't on board with getting assistance. We had such excellent timing this month too! I really don't know what more we can do on our own.
If anyone has any recommendations on a good indept fertility test that I can buy and do from home, (that won't break the bank) I'd be interested in seeing what my hormones look like. I know its no replacement for actual medical advice, but I just need some answers. Not that I have any reason to believe I'm the one with fertility issues all of a sudden, but the "what if" is always looming over my head lately..and when it comes to fertility, military drs won't take a look at the woman until the male has been ruled out, so if I want testing done, it would be out of pocket either way.
Praying for a miracle... but I feel like it will be on to cycle 19 soon..