beth30
2 Rainbow Boys and Preggo
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2011
- Messages
- 2,637
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So, it has been a while since I have been on this site, it was my saving grace not to long ago. I love the support I get from the lovely ladies on here, no matter which section I am in. I am waiting to try due to m/c and chemicals. I got tired, and my body needs to heal. But I am so unhappy. Not with my husband, I know he is my love, and we have a 4 year old son (god's gift). I love them both, and they make me happy. But there is just something going on, or not going on in my life. I feel like I have no purpose. I am a stay at home mom, and I live in the country near family, but all I get all day is kid talk, and mostly family arguments. Then my husband comes home and I think yay! time for some conversation, and he lets me down everytime.... tv or something other than conversation. My very best friend got a job since her daughter started school, so instead of spending my time having fun talking, shopping, nails done..... I sit here.... waiting for my time to work. It is a shame that I live next to my mother who says she doesn't feel like watching my little boy while I work or clean my house or anything for that matter. and ALL I can remember from being little is being at my grandma's house ALL the time. Mom never had to watch me if she didn't want to, or just needed time to herself..... and she says to me..."you had him, you watch him".... I am in such a rut, mentally, emotionally, and physically..... I need my time to grow, stimulate.... I feel like I am losing mental capability do to lack of interaction, and socialization... I am a wild woman at heart.. I was sooo fun, now I am a wall flower who never even gets to bloom. I'm in no way complaining about mothering my son. (when I read back, it kinda sounds that way) I am complaining about losing myself in motherhood, wifeyhood, and cabin fever. please say a prayer for me, I need a little hope, something to look forward to.....