Let's get pregnant in 2012!!!! TTC #1 after loss

[Smiler82]

Haha yeah I just checked another thread incase I'd posted a load of nonsense there It has just vanished into thin air...oh well!

Ooh, so did you bd in time if you did O on Saturday? I'm only on cd13 today, way too early for me usually. With the PCOS it usually takes til about cd35. But I'm having acupuncture and really hoping some fertile signs I've been noticing aren't just my body teasing me. But, DH has just gone away for a couple of days...his dad had a heart attack at the weekend so he's gone to spend some time with his parents. I've got to stay behind and work, hoping he'll be back tomorrow or the day after so we can get back to it

 

[Tanzibar83]

Oh I hate reffering to baby as "it", just sounds so impersonal.

Tweak really hoping you ovulated honey, a bfp would be a great way to end the year.

As for me, I did another IC this morning, still bfp (god I never thought in a million years I'd be so bummed out at seeing a second line). It's still faint so hopefully will disappear soon enough. Bleeding has stopped though.

Have any of you used softcups? I bought a pack just before falling pregnant and tested one which I hated. I'm wondering if I should use them again this time round? I'm gonna do what happened on lucky cycle 8 - sex 12 hours apart, stay lead down for at least 30 minutes afterwards with bum in air - I honestly think that was the winning formula for hubby and I. Usually we'd have sex and I'd leave it 2 mins then get up!!!!!

 

[Smiler82]

Oh Tanzi sorry about the tests, it must be so horrible having to keep seeing that 2nd line. Good that the bleeding has stopped now, how long has it been, a week? Hopefully that's it now. My 2nd loss was only about 7 days bleeding start to finish then was fine after that, hope it is the same for you

Never used softcups I'm afraid, did look into it but thought they looked uncomfortable!! Is that why you hated it? I always stay lying down for 15 mins minimum, I am pretty sure that's what did the trick for us too

 

[thurl30]

Hi there,

I'm totally new to this site but I have used it over the last few days to help me through a miscarriage.

My husband and I started trying for a baby in November, and conceived shortly after we started trying. Tuesday 13th December I started to have a miscarriage. I am totally gutted! After we found out I was expecting we talked about the plans for the future, and then suddenly it was all taken away. The doctor said I was 6 weeks.

I'm not sure how I feel at the moment, I feel a bit like I need to start trying again asap so I don't think about it too much, because if I do think about it too much I will probably not try again through fear of going through this again. I have got some pregnacare conception and my husband has got some wellman conception, but now I have heard all sorts of stories about these pills messing with cycles and so I don't know if I dare take it.

Then there is xmas this weekend, I would rather just take the decs down and forget about it but that's not possible, all the family are really excited about xmas. I have no other children, and just feel a bit isolated.

x

 

[Smiler82]

Hello thurl30

so sorry for your loss. It is a real shock isn't it I think it's a pretty common feeling to want to start trying again asap after a loss. I spoke to quite a few women online and we all said much the same. There's just this need, it's not about replacing the baby you lost but you just want to be pg again so badly and to have a family. It's a really strong feeling.

It's barely been a week since you lost your baby though and everything is still so raw...just speaking from my own experience it does feel like it's the right thing to do re not thinking about it too much and moving on, but I found it just came to hit me hard when I didn't quite expect it, with my 2nd loss I kind of blocked it all and was ok for a while but then fell apart a few months later. It is ok to be sad, angry or whatever you want to feel and you just need some time. It is really crappy timing what with Christmas around the corner, I really feel for you. I know I wouldn't feel like celebrating after a miscarriage. Don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn't feel - if you need some alone time over Christmas can you hide out in a spare room or something for a few moments if you need a breather? People may feel like they should exaggerate the celebrations to make you feel better but nothing except time will really help. Don't beat yourself up if you can't get into the festive mood with everyone, it's so so so important you have the time you need to grieve. Take care hun xx

 

[Tanzibar83]

Hi thurl, so sorry you've ended up in this part of the forum, the girls here are very supportive and understanding, so feel free to vent away. I'm the same way with regards to xmas, whats the point in celebrating a happy time when you're clearly not happy right? xx

I used to have lots of different supplements and vits and I felt that they weren't doing me any good whatsoever so I just stick to folic acid, omega 3 and evening primrose oil, try not to overdo it.

I still feel achey down below like my uterus is still trying to shrink, anyone else had that?

 

[Viking15]

So sorry you lost your baby, Thurl. It is just horrid. My heart breaks for you.

I also would like to try right away. I was told to wait three months but not for any particular reason. We are definitely waiting until the next cycle. I just want to make sure my uterus is healthy and ready to be a nice home for a baby. I want to see if my period is close to normal or if it is weird. Most ladies say theirs is really weird after a MC. I definitely feel the need to get pregnant very strongly. After the MC people that I have told were sad, but so excited that we were trying. Especially the parents. I didn't really expect that from my mom or my best friend. She and her husband don't want kids so I figured we would really grow apart after her finding out about the pregnancy. But she surprised me and told me she was very excited. That made me feel more supported. I don't need anyone's approval. I'm 37. But it is nice to feel that support. It makes it easier to want to try again. I am really scared that I will have this happen again. It is really so scary. I don't know how people can try again after a second loss. It seems so impossible.

 

[ami1985]

hugs tanzi.... im TTc starting new yr cnt wait now i was gonna but ive changed my mind..Buddies tanzi? xxx

 

[Tweak0605]

Smiler - I'm not sure if I BD in time. We BD'd Wednesday night, and then Saturday and Sunday nights. So, if I did O Saturday, I timed it just right with BDing Saturday. Let's hope so! I want a Christmas/New Years miracle! I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's father. I hope he gets better soon!

Tanzi - Thanks hun. I hope so. Sorry about seeing the positive tests Nothing worse then seeing that. I'm glad the bleeding has stopped though I've never used Softcups, so no help there, but I have heard good things about using them. I usually stay laying down for at least 30 minutes, but we BD right before I go to sleep, so I fall asleep with a pillow under my butt

Hi Thurl Sorry to hear about your loss It's definitely normal to feel like getting back to TTC asap, but take some time to grieve. I agree with Smiler, that my 2nd loss I didn't really do that. I just got back into work and actually worked through my 2nd miscarriage, and it all hit me a few months later. I was a wreck in September, which was also due date month for #1. Take some time for yourself hun

Viking - I was told to wait 1 month after my D&C in March. We did, and then got pregnant again that 2nd month. But, sadly ended in another miscarriage. It is incredibly hard to go through it twice, and pregnancy will never be the same again, but the desire to be pregnant overcomes it. I want so desperately to have a baby bump & feel the baby move, that it I can't help but keep trying. We'll all get there

Ami - Welcome Sorry about your loss

RB - Hope you're well

 

[Smiler82]

Viking - if you are physically ok then I don't think there's any need to wait 3 months. Around the time of my first loss this new report came out over here in the UK saying it's actually fine to start trying straight away and any doctor I spoke to kept quoting this report at me. The only thing I would be wary of is really being sure you've gotten over this loss. It's a hard thing to decide - I got pg 3 months after my mmc and I'm sure if that pregnancy had worked out I'd be saying, yeah definintely go for it!! But sadly it didn't so I am more inclined to say lookout for your emotional wellbeing and maybe you do need a break. I don't know, it's so hard and such a personal choice. You just have to do what feels right for you; no one can tell you what's going to happen in the future sadly so who knows what the right choice is. It is really hard going through it a second time. It was just horrible and I am terrified of it all happening again. But like Tweak says the desire for the bump and the baby is stronger. I don't know what the limit is of what I can take, I just know I'm not ready to give up yet. But I'm speaking from a position of over a year since my 2nd loss, 18 months since my first, I've had a lot more time to come to terms with things than you have

Tweak - hopefully you caught it! I know I'm not exactly a great advert for pregnancy but with both of mine there was a gap of 3-4 days between dtd and ov, so you could be ok with a Weds and Sat dtd. Fingers crossed! FIL is much better thanks, really hoping DH will come home tomorrow. I don't want to sound like I don't care about FIL but am anxious to get back to dtd...I don't know why but I just feel anxious/excited for this cycle. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up though

Tanzi - I think the cramps are normal. My memory is fading of what it was like after but I know I was on paracetamol for a while after. As long as they're not crippling and/or bad bleeding you're fine. But any worried at all just phone the doc for a chat, no point in worrying yourself. I think you're right to cut down on your supplements. My acupuncturist said it can become a bit of a strain on the liver so is best not to take too many x

 

[Tweak0605]

That makes me feel soo much better about having that Wed and Sat gap of BDing! I know they say sperm can live long up there, but it never seems like it could be true. I know what you mean about getting back to DTD - I'd be feeling the same way!

 

[Tanzibar83]

hey ami nice to see you here. Yes buddies!!!!! Glad to see you've changed your mind about TTC too. I think as much as it pains me, I have to be open to all possible outcomes with the next BFP but if there's 7 billion people on the planet then a hell of a lot of pregnancies have a happy ending right?!

tweak - oh, your back must thank you in the morning for sleeping with pillows under your bum right? hehe.

I really hope you caught the egg, keeping my fingers crossed for you!

How is everyone today? hubby has gone into work so I'm all on my own in the flat, not been on my own since Thursday, it's going to be a tough day. Will be testing with an opk and hpt in a bit, see if my FMU shows negative

With the DTD thing, I always thought when AF showed her face that we must have been doing it too much, hence why we decided with the 12 hour apart thing. It's so hard isn't it? you only have a short time to catch the egg, you don't truly know when it will be released and you have a couple of choices: do it a couple of times and worry you didnt do it enough OR do it loads and worry you've done it way too much :S

 

[rachelbubble]

Hi ladies!! Lovely to see this thread getting bigger and bigger

Where is everyone in their cycle then???

Amy - How many DPO are you now!!! Really really hoping you caught it!!

Its funny with all the talk about when to DTD before / during / after ov!! Ive noticed recently that alot of people who have got their BFPs seem to have only DTD once or twice before ov and actually missed OV day!! (Not on purpose of course) Do you think you can DTD too much and it ends up having a detrimental effect?? When i fell pregnant last year, we'd only DTD twice about 5 days before i ovulated!! I just dont get how we caught then but now when we cover every day around OV we havent???

x x

 

[Tanzibar83]

I'm thinking of changing the name of this thread, well at least add some positivity to it - anyone got any ideas?

RB - I know what you mean about only doing it once or twice, you have some sneaky eggs not to have been caught yet, but I know you HAVE to catch it one day, it can't hide forever! xxxx

Yes I did read that you can overdo it with sperm, once the sperm die they can leave nasty toxins or something so if you put a fresh load in so soon the old stuff kills the new stuff, so it's all about finding that perfect timing

wish I could see whats happening down below

 

[rachelbubble]

I'm thinking of changing the name of this thread, well at least add some positivity to it - anyone got any ideas?

RB - I know what you mean about only doing it once or twice, you have some sneaky eggs not to have been caught yet, but I know you HAVE to catch it one day, it can't hide forever! xxxx

Yes I did read that you can overdo it with sperm, once the sperm die they can leave nasty toxins or something so if you put a fresh load in so soon the old stuff kills the new stuff, so it's all about finding that perfect timing

wish I could see whats happening down below

Me too!!

Hows abouts....

MC? No children? LETS GET PREGNANT!!

OR

TTC#1? LETS GET PREGNANT!!

 

[Tweak0605]

Morning ladies

Love the name change idea. Not sure what to change it to though. What about just TTC #1 After M/C, and then we can add RB's idea of Let's Get Pregnant! LOL

I slept like crap all night. DH was overnight at a hotel, and I'm now freakin' exhausted. One of the cats woke me up at 4:30, then again at 5:45. I'm very this morning.

No idea what my temps are doing. They are all over the place. No CHs yet either. I know I'm not temping during the Christmas weekend, but I tempted to toss it away right now. It's frustrating me, and making me believe I didn't ovulate this cycle.

 

[Smiler82]

Morning all

had no idea you could change the name of a thread! Don't see why not if it's possible but don't know what to...I like the addition of "let's get pregnant!"

Tanzi I have never heard that about old sperm turning toxic and killing new sperm!! Tweak I slept so badly last night too, I feel like a zombie today. Hate sleeping alone

rb - it's difficult to know what is best eh!! With both my pregnancies there was a gap but it's been nearly a year since my last loss and because I never know when I'm going to O there's often a bit of a gap, yet we've not conceived. I posted a thread last cycle because I realised we dtd on the day of O, and loads of ladies replied saying they'd gotten pg just from dtd once on or around O. But then I know someone on another thread who dtd every day up to O and she just got her bfp!! Too confusing Where are you in your cycle? I'm on CD 15, having some fertile signs but no temp rise. Am hoping to ov earlier than normal but hopefully not for a few days as DH needs to come home!!!

 

[rachelbubble]

Morning all

had no idea you could change the name of a thread! Don't see why not if it's possible but don't know what to...I like the addition of "let's get pregnant!"

Tanzi I have never heard that about old sperm turning toxic and killing new sperm!! Tweak I slept so badly last night too, I feel like a zombie today. Hate sleeping alone

rb - it's difficult to know what is best eh!! With both my pregnancies there was a gap but it's been nearly a year since my last loss and because I never know when I'm going to O there's often a bit of a gap, yet we've not conceived. I posted a thread last cycle because I realised we dtd on the day of O, and loads of ladies replied saying they'd gotten pg just from dtd once on or around O. But then I know someone on another thread who dtd every day up to O and she just got her bfp!! Too confusing Where are you in your cycle? I'm on CD 15, having some fertile signs but no temp rise. Am hoping to ov earlier than normal but hopefully not for a few days as DH needs to come home!!!

Good morning Smiler x x

I know, theres so many different messages about, to do with when to DTD! I guess ive just been thinking about the fact that when i got PG we only DTD twice a long time before ov and since miscarrying when weve timed it perfectly, NOTHING!! I think i need to relax a bit more and not panic if we dont cover every day prior!! Youre at a similar point to me Smiler, i miscarried on 20th January so its coming up a year for us too now since our loss! Had really hoped to be pregnant by now but im guessing it'll happen when it happens!!

As for where i am in my cycle.....i dont know!! For the long version read the last few pages of my journal but the short version is im about 25dpo (according to ff) but i think now im more like 14dpo but just started spotting so im out!! This has been such a mental cycle as ive really thought i was pregnant at some points!! Oh well...im just ready for AF to hit now and then new year, new cycle, fresh thinking!!! How long are your normal cycles?? x x

 

[rachelbubble]

Morning ladies

Love the name change idea. Not sure what to change it to though. What about just TTC #1 After M/C, and then we can add RB's idea of Let's Get Pregnant! LOL

I slept like crap all night. DH was overnight at a hotel, and I'm now freakin' exhausted. One of the cats woke me up at 4:30, then again at 5:45. I'm very this morning.

No idea what my temps are doing. They are all over the place. No CHs yet either. I know I'm not temping during the Christmas weekend, but I tempted to toss it away right now. It's frustrating me, and making me believe I didn't ovulate this cycle.

Good morning Amy x x

Sorry you havent slept well....will you get a chance to have a nap today??

Hopefully your temps will show a clear rise soon although, after this cycle im putting less and less trust in temps! FX'd that you did ovulate x x x

 

[Tweak0605]

I've never heard that toxic sperm thing either! Interesting! You learn something new about TTC every day

Smiler - Sorry you didn't sleep well either Hope DH gets home before OV time!

RB - No nap I work 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. and then go home, work out, and have to make some truffles for our customer Christmas party tomorrow. Hoping to get some BDing in too, with the EWCM I had this a.m. I'm putting less trust in temps too - since I have erratic sleep patterns I doubt they're all correct.

2 days left until my Christmas break - off work for 7 whole days. I can't freakin' wait! But that also means my motivation to do stuff these next 2 days is quickly going out the window