Jo, its ok I don't mind telling all on this forum!

the last time we dtd was either sept or oct 2015.... so like two years ago, and its been even longer since we'd kiss... like before I was pregnant with Cassidy was the last time we kissed

then he just told me he didn't like it.
I tried talking to him last year about our marriage and that was when he had freaked out at me. First saying everything was fine and why would I even say that. Then started accusing me of cheating on him, all because he read my diary where I just put down that occasionally I crush on random people... which is true sometimes it'll be some waiter or something like I'll never see them again. Then after that he kept asking me if I wanted a divorce, and I told him that I will not start anything that I want to work things out.
Now every now and then he tells me we need to talk but wont exactly tell me WHAT it is, like I will ask him and he wont tell me!! He'll just tell me that I know. But I need to know what exactly it is he wants to discuss. Then he started whining about how we never chat online anymore(We met online) and I'm like we're in person.... we can never go back to chatting online!
There hasn't been any good times in a long while

Like before when I loved him I felt unwanted and ugly, like he NEVER wanted anything physical if I even tried to hug him in bed or cuddle up to him he'd push me away or walk out of the room. Like this went on for YEARS, until finally in 2015, something changed and I just fell out of love with him.

I know he is controlling but I don't know how to deal with it. Because anytime I confront him on anything he'll tell me no that's not true, then I end up feeling dumb.
Sorry for this long whiny rant!