***Lion Cub Mommies-Back In Action!***

[cleckner04]

spidey- I love that everyone is in some kind of uniform when scrolling through the pictures, and than theres your DH.

 

[spidey]

I noticed that too I think he needs a uniform and a gun... or atleast a taser! He deals with a lot of crazies.

Look at this mess... I got a positive opk on October 8th and 9th. The 9th gave me a very dark positive too.

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3839e1

 

[Shiv]

You look great Spidey and your make-up is perfect. I am often clown like i fear!

Right MJ - I think it is ridiculous that the only time your MIL sees Adam is if she is being paid. C is being unreasonable because it his mum you are dealing with. Perhaps you could suggest that you should be paying your mum an hourly rate while she is down withyou as she is helping so much. I am guessing C wouldn't be up for that suggestion so it might make him see sense!

If however Adam is going to go to your MIL regularly for a full day of childcare then I suppose it is kinda fair that she gets paid (as she will lose out on income from not having another child) expecting you to pay such extortionate rates is though ridiculous. And even if Adam did go regularly she should still be seeing him on her days off as he is her grandson and should be wanting one on one time with him.

If I were you I would rather put Adam in nursery/preschool a couple of mornings a week so it is convenient for you and no doubt cheaper as well. he would get to mix with a large range of other children and would have a great time. It will be scary leaving him with "strangers" to start with but I bet he would settle in quick and it will be good preparation for pre-school in a years time.

As for my MIL - she works funnyshifts so has always struggled to see as much of Sophia as my parents (who are oth retired) - when we lived 10 miles away she would see Sophia about once every two weeks for a couple of hours. Which was plenty for me! I am just put out about her "allowing" us to go and visit her with a 3 day old baby. My mum is FURIOUS with her as she feels she should have come to us.

David has not mentioned telling his mum that we will be down there on Sunday so I am just leaving it to him, if he doesn't tell her then it is his fault!

The Health visitor came today and refused to weigh Cora She said it would be too early to tell if her sick issue was afecting her weight gain so I would have to wait another week. Ridiculous!

So today was my first day alone with both girls. It had good and bad points. If Cora didn't have the issues with vomiting then I think it would have been a breeze. But she wouldn't settle at all this morning after we were up and about so I had to have her in the sling, which is a bit restricting for playing with Sophia in. She wanted to feed frequently which has me sat down, and then I have to wind her for ages and then keep her upright, so Sophia was getting quite frustrated. Then just as I was getting really rather stressed, Cora vomited ALL over me! I could have cried. I couldn't put her down to get my clothes off for fear she would be sick again, so I just had to sit there for half an hour with Sophia getting more agitated and Cora feeding and being winded! Not fun. Luckily Cora then fell asleep, and I managed to get her down in her basket, and then get Sophia down for a nap. So I got undressed (put my PJ's on) and went to bed. Sophia napped for 90 minutes and Cora slept for 4 and a half hours So I got to have a rest (although didn't sleep as I am constantly listening for Cora being sick) and then spend a couple of hours playing with Sophia before dinner.

SOOOOOOOOO morning was horrendous but afternoon was better!

I forgot to tell you guys that I woke David up last night to change Cora's nappy before I fed her (I was going to leave him as he had work, but he is literally up for 5 minutes then goes back to sleep where as I am up for 2 hours, so I thought stuff it, I'll wake him) anyway he changed her and I fed her and put her down. A couple of hours later i could hear her struggling to have a poo in her basket, she did an almighty fart/poo and usually she would re-settle but she didn't. So I got her up to change her nappy and feed her. When i went to get her she was absolutely soaked through all up her back and legs etc. Turns out David had been so tired that her forgot to put a nappy on her More washing

 

[Shiv]

Oh and i had my 2 week post partum weigh in this morning.

1 week pp= 10st 6.5lbs
2 week pp= 10st 3lbs



And i am not doing ANYTHING to lose weight, I am eating so much rubbish. i guess blood loss, night sweats and breastfeeding are all helping!

i would like to be down to 10 stone by 6 weeks post partum. It took me until the following february to get down to that after Sophia.

 

[Shiv]

oh and here is my 2 week post partum photo. (and my 1 week so I can compare -2 week is flowery bra)

and MJ - I got tonnes of new stretch marks this time. Last time I had about two on each hip, and now I have them all over my tummy. I am gonna have a saggy tummy for sure!

try not to beat yourself up about any weight gain, you'll lose it afterwards no worries.

 

[spidey]

Shiv, you're really losing the belly weight fast I like your bra- is that a new one? It sounds like you've been busy with poo for the last 24 hours That's really funny that David forgot to put on a new diaper- what a mess!! Did the HV say anything about Cora being sick? Based on mothers intuition you know something isn't right so I hope they're going to take this seriously. It's ridiculous that Cora wasn't weighed

Cleckner, I've been meaning to ask about Emma's bf cutback. Is she still only feeding a couple times a day or is she back to full on booby? Kira's been such a booby hog these days. I must have jinxed myself when I bragged how Kira was only feeding 2X a day Today I had to say no when I was putting away groceries, cooking dinner and then eating dinner. She screamed the entire time. It was atleast 45 minutes of screaming. I really don't mind bf, but a week of hearing nothing but "A BOO A BOO A BOO" gets to me.

 

[jelr]

Cleck: I didn't have any photos in the thread because I'm so paranoid about photos of Natasha on the web - but I really did enjoy looking at them, most of the babies still have the same facial features as they do today, where as I think Natasha is totally different then when she was born.

I'm so bad though as some of the girls on it I don't remember at all - Funny looking at some of the ciggys though, some have married or are expecting since. - It has made me really broody also

Well done on the weightloss, you really have done so brilliantly with it. Hope your enjoying DH being back.

Spidey: You look absolutely amazing, The dress is perfect on you, fake boobs and all - I love your hair like that and your make up is so natural, I definitely over do my make up and not only look clown like, but also as If I have applied pollyfiller it can be so thick Your DH looks so proud in the photo with his boss, which he should be

I wish I could help you on your chart, but I am totally new to this as well, it does look all over the place, although I have a funny feeling mine will be the same as my thermometer is only an ordinary one and it is C (not sure if that makes a difference) - I must look for a bbt one next time I'm in town. I do forget to take my temp at the same time every morning too

Shiv: Oh God you really are getting a rough time with poo lately aren't you. I'm sorry but the no nappy and your other two poo emergencies that I read on fb did make me laugh, although I'm sure it hasn't been so much fun for you. Sophia waving her poo hands at David really made me laugh though as isn't he freaked out by poo or was that somebody else?

That really is stupid that the hv wouldn't weigh Cora. Has the sick settled down any? I think you are doing the right thing, if David doesn't let his mum know, well it's certainly not your job too and you don't have the responsibility of feeling guilty then

you look fantastic, you will be back to pre-pregnancy weight in no time - I would love your secret

MJ: big - I'm so so sorry you have felt so bad that everyone would be better without you, you do know deep down that they wouldn't be and this is only the hormones and depression making you think that way. I would maybe think about taking the medication if it does continue to be that bad and I don't think at this stage you would be taking it long enough to effect Joel. You have been so strong to put up with this for so long. I'm only feeling down for a week or so and hate it, you have put up with this for months, so I really do admire you.

I do agree with you on C's mother also. I have no problem with the payment (although it is extremely high) if it was a regular thing and she was also making an effort to see Adam outside of the arrangement. I do pay my mam for minding Natasha when I work, but when DH was out of work, she wouldn't take any money from us and if we are out for a night, she takes her overnight without a penny and would and has dropped everything just to mind Natasha if I needed or wanted to go or do anything and C's mum should be the same and want to spend time with her grandchild.

I think I would definitely send Adam somewhere else that is cheaper out of principle number 1 and because financially it makes more sense for him to get a few days for the same money as you would pay C's mum for 1 day.

Oh and don't you dare worry about whining in here, we are all friends now and thats what friends are for. Believe me if I keep feeling like this that is all I will do, I will be the biggest whinger going let me tell you

Thanks for all the understanding and advise girls - I really do appreciate it - I do feel exactly the way you all explained and I hate it. I don't actually have a craving to have a cigarette, but it is like everything seems boring without them and I just feel miserable, which really is ridiculous and I feel so stupid and I feel bad because I hate that I'm feeling this way when I'm off with Natasha rather than enjoying the time with her.

It is is different to when I gave up when I was pregnant - the last pregnancy I was only off them a few weeks as I did start smoking once I started to bleed as I knew it was over and on the two pregnancies before that I did actually wish them away and I just tried to keep myself as busy to make the time go quicker (which I know is bad and partly why I wanted to be off them before I fall pregnant this time) - but I think I always knew I would smoke after i had Natasha so it only felt like it temporary, where as this time it is for good, so there is no wishing the time away, although I do find I'm wishing the time away until this feeling passes and I really really hate that I'm wishing Natasha's life away

I'm also terrified about piling on the weight as I do struggle so hard to get rid of it and the more weight I put on the less fertile I am with the pcos - again it seemed okay to put it on when pregnant, but now that this is a life time choice I don't want to keep eating instead of smoking, but don't know how to stop myself, because I'm staving all the time and it feels like I need to treat myself with crap instead of cigarettes

I have done a lot of reading tonight and a lot of the stuff says depression comes before acceptance with quitting so hopefully that will happen soon because I'm really no good for this, I'm such a fixer and just want to fix myself at the moment, but don't know how too.

I'm thinking strongly about trying hypnotism to take away the contstant want and bad feeling and just to feel like I'm doing something to move this all along. I just feel life is too short and precious to be wasting it feeling miserable like I do at the moment - I'm not doing too badly during the day, but have ended up in tears to DH the last few evenings. - but at the same time I don't want to waste money either if it doesn't work as I'm a bit sceptical.

Saving the money was a huge incentive, and the plan was to actually put it buy for a big expensive holiday in disneyland paris for a few weeks during peak time when it is warm and right in the most expensive hotel on the resort, but I won't be able to do that now as I'm actually down €200 a week than when I finished in June, so the €60 a week that I save on smoking will make up for some of what I'm down and will probably be used for day to day stuff

Anyway enough whining from me - sorry girls for bending your ears, but I actually just feel better by getting it all out, even though I feel really silly letting stupid little cancerous smelly cigarettes take up so much space in my head

Anyway has anybody any nice plans for the weekend? - We were meant to be heading out to dinner for my friends birthday, but the poor thing has come down with shingles, so it is cancelled, DH has talked me into us going for dinner anyway to cheer me up. I'm not so sure as we have DH's sister's 50th party next weekend, so Natasha will be in my mams again. Everything always comes together for us, we don't go out for months and then it all comes together. I will probably end up agreeing with him though as he does like to go out to dinner every now and again and he has had a lot to put up with from me this week and I do see his point, it is not like Natasha is missing out on time with us as she will be asleep anyway and loves sleeping in my mams - I do still feel guilthy though

Well have a good weekend, whatever you do girls. Xx

 

[cleckner04]

jelr- I think hypnotism is a really good idea. Especially because you are already quitting. So you have the first hurdle accomplished. So I bet they can help take the edge off. I've also heard acupuncture can help smokers quit as well. I've always wondered about both for weight loss too. Cause I can do the weightloss but the hardest part is having the constant willpower to stay away from crap. My friend who quit smoking did end up gaining like 40 lbs from it because she was replacing the ciggies with food. Not good. But I can see how it's easy to fall into that pattern. Maybe have suckers(lollies) at hand instead? Something to keep your mouth occupied but isn't super high in calories.

Well DH has been home since yesterday but we really haven't spent much time together because he was working nights while out to sea so now he is getting himself switched back to days and by the time he gets home from work he just sleeps. He's napping right now as I type this. But hopefully he'll be good as new by next week. We are planning on driving to L.A. this weekend to knock out some more things on my list of things to see there for our 2011 vacation. We are gonna split the vacation up over weekends since he doesn't really want to take vacation days when we are moving soon. I'm thinking I want to just drive early in the morning to L.A. and than see as much as we can, and than drive home in the same day. It's a 2 hour drive so not too bad and it would save us $60-$100 for hotel costs. I'm not sure how it'll go over but I think that's the plan. Money is tight obviously with our move coming up but I really don't want to NOT see L.A. when we live so close IYKWIM. I don't think we'll ever be this way again so it's our only chance.

 

[spidey]

jelr, I also vote for giving hypnotism a try to help you with those feelings of loss. You all know I did hypnosis for Kira's birth and it worked wonderfully I'm a fixer too, so I know what you mean. You have to keep pushing through each day and I promise it'll get easier, and don't feel guilty about wishing away time. Your brain has gotten use to the nicotine and now your body needs to re-adjust itself so you can shake those cravings and learn to feel good without the use of nicotine. It's a really powerful brain altering chemical.

No real plans for the weekend. DH and my dad will be working on the deck and my mom and I will entertain Kira. The weather will be really nice here so maybe we'll go to the park

My nips are getting less sore, so I think I'm out this month already. I have a feeling my LP will be really short this time, and not like the whopping 14 days last cycle

 

[spidey]

How was everyone's weekend?

Does anyone want to hear me whine? I'm hoping that by telling you girls I'll stop driving myself absolutely crazy. I'm having my midlife crisis and having anxiety about getting diseases and dying. So I have a life insurance man coming on Wednesday to sell us life insurance and I already had my pap smear to check for cervical cancer and on Tuesday I have a skin cancer screening. The skin cancer screening has been freaking me out more than I expected. I am covered head to toe in moles and I've never had them looked at before. I haven't seen any changes in them, but a few meet some of the "warning" signs for melanoma. My Grandfathers half sister's daughter has melanoma which has spread everywhere and she's only in her 40's. I met her at my Aunt's funeral (who was my Grandfather's other half sister) and it really tore my heart out knowing she's fighting a battle that she's never going to win I have a feeling the dermatologist will want me to come back to have some biopsied or removed. I'm so scared. Ugh, I wish I could stop obsessing about it. And the stupidest thing is I'm mad at myself for not buying life insurance before all this mole stuff, so now when I die I'll leave DH and Kira without any money to help with bills My head is in a strange place right now and I'm hoping it's just temporary from pms hormones, but whatever it is I can't get out of it. So everyone wish me luck on Tuesday.

 

[Shiv]

Spidey - big hugs, I hope it is just hormones that is making yu freak out about your health. Hope the skin screening goes well, let us know x

jelr - how are you feeling now?

Cleck- and you, I hope you are brighter now corey is back home.

Not much new to report here. Cora slept from 10pm til 7am last night, i of course was awake waiting for her wanting to feed!

 

[cleckner04]

Popping in taking a break from cleaning. I've been a very bad mommy today. I've been packing the past two days and I was busy packing away this morning too when I suddenly remembered the apartment people are coming to inspect our apartment today to start the process of our move. They are going to tell us what needs replaced, etc. So since I was packing, the house was DESTROYED because I make it worse before it gets packed IYKWIM. Well I remembered and started freaking out rushing around and Emma must've sensed something was up because when I went upstairs she screamed her head off downstairs and continued to scream for at least 45 minutes. She was just laying on the bottom of the stairs throwing herself around screaming. So the bad mommy part was me ignoring her while I rushed around and than I just couldn't take it anymore so I told her to "STOP CRYING!!!". It didn't work. She eventually came upstairs and I hugged her and told her I have to clean and I can't play right now. I told her to go down and watch spongebob but instead she sat and played with her barbie on the floor while I scurried around finishing some packing and rehanging clothes that we are keeping out to go with us. Now my downstairs and upstairs and completely clean except the floors. They need swept and I'm gonna mop. But I needed a break. I swear I typically have a completely clean house but since DH has been home it's been pretty chaotic. We have so much that needs done like renting a storage unit and canceling some services like netflix, etc. And my jeep needs work done so DH has been scrambling out in the garage trying to fix it up more since I'll be home in the winter months. AHHH!! And we knew we wanted to throw a halloween party for the neighborhood people but we thought we would throw it the day before halloween. So I thought we had a few weeks to plan still. Well turns out V has a wedding to be at that weekend so now we are having the party THIS friday. So I'm also scrambling around planning a party because no one else has taken charge so I'm the one buying everything. I bought plates, napkins, forks, spoons, and decorations for $38. So not TOO bad so far but I know it's just the beginning because no one has volunteered for food either so I think that falls on my shoulders yet again. I hate being nice sometimes because we get taken advantage of. But the party is in my garage/yard so I guess that technically makes us the host but it was a joint idea so doesn't seem very fair.

Okay, enough of my rambling.

spidey- Big hugs hun. I hope everything checks out okay and you are worrying for nothing. I worry about skin cancer a lot myself with my fair skin and countless sunburns.

shiv- Yay for Cora sleeping so long!! That's better than Emma some nights still.

 

[spidey]

so all went well at my skin cancer screen She said all my moles looked good I'm still feeling uneasy and paranoid about life but it has to be from pms. I watched a show last night about a family that was murdered in their house and I stayed up late researching alarm systems

Cleckner, you should call your neighbors and say "so what did you say you were going to bring to the party?" I've been a bad mommy too and let Kira scream while I did other things. Saying "stop crying" doesn't work How is Emma doing on the booby now?

Shiv, how did Cora sleep last night? I hope you got another nice stretch of sleep

jelr, how are the cravings for cigarettes now? I hope you're feeling better day by day.

 

[cleckner04]

I'm so glad everything is fine with your moles!! You seem to definitely be going through some hormones with all this panicking. You'll be fine. Everyone is safe.

Well over the weekend and monday Emma only had booby twice a day. Nighttime and morning right after waking. Today will be 3 times by the end of the day because she needed it for her nap today. Over the weekend she napped in the car and yesterday she napped in the car so that's what cut them out. It's kind of great because she really doesn't ask for it anymore. I think she realized I meant it when I said 'booby for sleepy time only'. It actually hit me today how little she has wanted booby lately. Kind of sad but it does make me realize the end could be near eventually, when before I thought there is no way she'll ever quit.

You are totally right. Saying 'stop crying' really doesn't help. I wish it did. Emma has been very grumpy at times. She has to have things exactly the way she wants or she freaks out. Like she'll want to wear shoes but if I grab the wrong pair she FREAKS out. Or if she wants to put her pants on by herself she gets mad if I try to help. It's really hard to deal with at times. I'll get her an apple but she wants the other apple. Just stupid things like that. She gets these ideas in her head and just won't let it go. She has a minnie mouse nap mat that is a blanket attached to a mat. Anyways, I keep it downstairs so she can lay down and watch her shows if she wants in the day because she was always taking our rugs and using them as blankets. Well she got it in her head the other day for her nap that she HAD to have that nap mat to sleep with. I offered several blankets but none of them were good enough. And she wouldn't go downstairs to get the minnie blanket herself, she would rather just sit there and scream at the top of her lungs. I finally just gave in and got it for her but I feel like me giving in is just going to turn her into an even bigger brat. I'm clueless about how to parent her sometimes now. She's very stubborn.


Oh I meant to say we spent all day at LA on saturday and she didn't have a single accident. We brought the little potty and any time we were close to a bathroom we'd ask if she has to go. She refused all morning but finally at one museum she went. Than she went again later in the jeep right after we ate dinner. I just sit the potty on the front seat and she goes there. But all that victory was short lived because we went out yesterday looking for halloween party supplies and stopped at Kmart and while she was playing with a toy in the toy section she peed her pants. It was a giant puddle too. I freaked out a bit and yelled across the store for Corey. In the second that I turned my head to yell for corey, Emma slipped in her own pee and was basically on the floor rolling in it. I was panicking. DH came running and saw what happened and he found someone that works there to let them know about it. I took Emma out to the jeep and changed her pants but I only brought pants and not a top because I didn't think she'd need a new top when having a pee accident. I guess I didn't consider the fact that she may roll in it.

 

[spidey]

oh wow, I might have to do the booby is for sleepy time rule too. That's how I cut back on the pacifier and it worked well. Once I make the rule I need to stick with it though. The only booby session she would really miss is when I get home from work. So I could make my booby rule a little more complex- booby for sleepy time AND when mommy gets home from work

Emma and Kira sound sooo much alike! Kira is so stubborn and very particular. She has her quirks and sometimes I don't have patience for it. Her big thing is to collect random objects and squirrel them away on the sofa. So my couch has become a collection zone for sticks, rocks, rugs, toilet rolls, dirty laundry, towels... and when she's tired she needs everything arranged just right before she'll get her booby and fall asleep. Most of the time she makes me put everything on the couch and she orders me around and whines. If I tell her to do it herself, she hysterically cries. She doesn't have a single "favorite" object, so she needs these huge collections before she falls asleep.

Congrats on the potty success!!! Kira has had no accidents for the last 2 days. She's been pooping only once every 4-5 days, so during the last poop she was standing next to the potty and I got her on in time. She also stopped holding her pee, and now goes 8+ times a day versus 3. And tonight is her first night in panties!! All in all, I feel like we're finally headed in the right direction and she seems to like her potty now We do the same thing with the potty chair when we're out. It sits on the car's seat Kira is very resistant to peeing while we're out even in her own potty, so she just holds it (and makes mommy very nervous!).

LOL, I found this picture from a few weeks ago. Thats me BF Kira (in a green dress) under that pile All those items were chosen and arranged in a very particular way by Kira's ordering. Gosh, what did I do to raise such a silly spoiled girl?!!

https://www.razortoe.com/share/nap.jpg

 

[cleckner04]

at that picture. That's so cute that she hoards everything together. But definitely something that would be tiring after a while.
I'm so glad Emma isn't the only odd child. Kira and her always seem so similar with things! Emma changes what her favorite thing is by the week. This week it's her barbies. She has to have them when we go upstairs and has to have them when we go down. So I am constantly hauling them up and down. She bathes with them and everything. And if I forget one, she knows and won't let it go.
Are they spoiled or is this normal behavior? I worry so much that I'm turning Emma into a spoiled brat. I try my best not to give in to her in these unreasonable moments but she can seriously scream and cry for hours if I let her.

Emma wore panties for the first time today!! She did good with it playing with her little friend from across the street. What kind of panties did you get kira? Emma's are minnie mouse and hello kitty. It's so weird leaving the house and not really needing a diaper bag anymore. Yesterday I just brought 2 changes of pants, wipes, the potty and no diaper bag. So weird.

 

[Shiv]

Spidey - yay for the all clear with your moles! now please stop worrying!
That photo is HILARIOUS!How long did you have to sit like that for? I particularly like the box on your head
it sounds like Kira is doing really well on the potty training. How long would you say it has taken her to get the hand of it?

Cleck - Emma is doing really with reducing booby, I think a morning and evenign feed is quite nice and manageable until she/you decide that it is not for you anymore.
Any idea where you are in your cycle?
Also when do you move? I hope your inspection went well!

Sophia is very similare to Emma with her tantrums. We had an almighty one yesterday (in fact we had about 15 in total!). We were at the registry office registering Cora. ..........gotta go Cora has woken up, will finish my story later!

 

[spidey]

oh Shiv, I can't wait to hear your story... I hope it wasn't too horrible

I guess it's just their age, but I do worry that I'm turning Kira into a spoiled brat. Cleckner, you sound just like me- having to lug Kira's items up and down the stairs for her Sometimes when Kira's on her 20th screaming session of the day, I say "stop acting like you're 2!"

We started potty training on September 29th, and within 1 day she started using the potty. But then she had a week where many of the pees would start in her pants and finish in the potty. Then another week of holding her pee all day and showing some resistance to using the potty "NO NO NO NO!!!" and now things are leveling out and she's doing really well. So about 3 weeks I'd say

Cleckner, Kira's panties are Hello Kitty and DORA They don't have many options for size 2/3 panties. It is weird not using diapers at all. I have a huge unopened box I plan to return for store credit. And it's neat I haven't bought any disposable training pants... those things are expensive!

 

[cleckner04]

Shiv- Oh can't wait for you story. Maybe it'll make Emma seem normal instead of a brat.

spidey- EWW DORA!! Yeah they only had minnie and hello kitty at target when we went. Well, and no-themed ones but I wanted cool ones for her. My mom said my first undies were barbie. Emma is wearing the size 2/3 as well for them. I have an unopened box of sposies too! I packed them away with the cloth diapers for the next kid. Whenever that next kid may be.


I'm not sure where I am exactly in my cycle. I started my period right before DH returned so I'm about a week into the cycle. So probably ovulate around halloween time? I'm not keeping track this month. We are just having sex when we feel like it. So I'm thinking it's more NTNP this month. There are far too many other things to worry about this month. Speaking of which, i gotta go start on cupcakes for the party. I'm making my famous multicolored cupcakes but with black/orange/purple colors for halloween and I bought those black spider rings that I'll shove into the top. I'm hoping they turn out good. Later we are heading to the pumpkin patch to pick out our pumpkins too!

 

[cleckner04]

Emma is currently crying because she dropped her cracker and she apparently wants me to pick it up. Even though she is standing right beside it. I'm going to go crazy. It is SO hard to hold my temper back and remember that she is just a baby still. But good lord, THE CRACKER IS RIGHT THERE! That's what I want to scream. Instead I'm on here and ignoring her.