Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

I *wish* I had this thread when I was LTTTC!

My mum was exactly the same and it drove me crazy. Now I finally am pregnant she keeps telling me not to buy too many baby things 'just in case'. Thanks for the positive thinking when I actually need it Mum!

 

Feel like giving up on trying or lack of trying more to the point. Hubby always to tired. We had discussed said this morning that we would :sex tonight. Getting ovulation pains so thought we were in for a chance this month. But no he practically feel asleep before his he ad hit the pillow. No amount of encouragement helped. Cried myself to sleep all seems impossible. Think things are worse as made Appointment at private clinic today to discuss options but what's the point. NHS test shown I,m ok hubby has low sperm count. Keep saying that IVF is no walk in the park. Where do I go from here. Currently waiting on a referral to breast clinic as well just found out wait could be another 6 weeks not the original 4 I have waited already

 

5 fecking years today we've been TTC. Not an anniversary I'll be celebrating.

 

Hope it happens for you soon. x

 

I am so sorry hun! Big hugs to you!!!

 

I know the feeling. DH noticed my positive OPK this month before I checked the test. He said we were going to DTD, but he fell asleep. Still haven't done it almost a week later!

 

Think I need to talk things through with him... could be a long night.... we have been trying for on and off for over 5 years and no joy... it is soul distroying.... just found out the new guy at work who starts next month is the 'partner' of a friend at works friend. She was telling me that they have a baby together, which was 'unplanned' oh if it was that simple!

 

Dear BFF Did you forget so soon that ive been TTC for 13yrs w my hubby? So glad u got pg the first mth married to ur husband..all you can do is mention well do you like this bedding or that picture..or you cant wait for baby shower and how I better make a trip to be there! What about me?!? Please dont send me another picture of baby furniture etc!! I cant take it..Did you really think I could handle ALL this????

 

My goal was to get my bfp at this time last year. Still waiting. Its going on 2 years now. Since then I've watched over 15 friends/family celebrate their good fortune. In the last 6 months I've had back surgery & found out I now need knee surgery as well. I'm finally having success in ovulating after many, many months without & I can't do anything with it. Most days I know it's for the best, logically thinking. Logic doesn't make the tears taste any less bitter tho.

I didn't want to feel the way I did when your best friend found out he got his wife pregnant on their honeymoon, & I thought I made it clear that I didn't care to hear about their pregnancy - apparently tho, I wasn't clear - because on the day AF came, you asked me to send flowers to their hospital room to say congrats. That was 4 months ago now & I still feel awful for the pangs of jealousy that overtook my emotions & had me sobbing as I repeated the spelling of the baby's name to make sure I got it correct. You've since asked for forgiveness for being insensitive, & even tho I've told you I forgive you, every time AF comes I remember those feelings all over again.

To the friend on FB that "struggled" for 3 months to get pregnant, I feel your pain - x8. Could you please stop complaining about your awful morning sickness at 6 weeks? I'm trying to empathize, but I'm having a hard time seeing it as such a burden.

& lastly, on a positive note - to my best friend that has been TTC right along with me the entire time, thank you for being my friend, my sounding board & my strength, you don't know how much I really appreciate & love you.

 

I'm starting to miss the feeling where sex was for pleasure, not a job.

 

Dear people that live near me. Yes, I have been married 2 years and yes, I am now in my 30's and yes I have gained a little weight (comfort eating through 2 and a half years of ttc hell if you must know!!) but could you please, please, PLEASE stop assuming that I'm getting fat because I'm pregnant? Or even worse, asking when I'm going to get pregnant? I'm sure most of you would feel pretty awful if I was to turn around and tell you what was really going on but I don't want to broadcast it because I don't want you all feeling sorry for me. Just use your flippin' brain for a second and think that I might possibly be doing all I can and failing miserably

 

Dear Friend,

You are sadly mistaken; I don't want to help you come up with excuses as to why you cannot drink at the Christmas party.

 

I'm sick of being asked each and every time I see in-laws when I will be having a baby. I feel I have to pretend I don't want one in order to stop questioning glances as to why it's taken so long to get pregnant. Doesn't help when friends 'accidentally' get pregnant and then all say 'your turn next'.

Also, does not help that DH has a job which takes him away from home sometimes and those days he is away usually always coincide with ovulation.

TTC is actually driving me bananas. I wish it were easier.

 

Dear friend will you please just open your ears please and really listen to me. I think its amazing that you would be there if i need someone to carry a baby for me, but the fs said I CAN get pregnant so please stop talking as if i cant already. Its starting to PIS* ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Why does it have to almost never fail at seeing at least 1 bump each time I go grocery shopping and it's usually from either a teen, someone who is clearly using drugs (eyes diallated, underweight and very fidgity) or smoking. So far I've seen maybe a handful max of bumps that are from legit women who take care of themselves in the past 3 years. So not fair!

 

I know what you mean! I am always amazed at how many 'accidents' seem to happen and how many unplanned babies come along. My sister-in-law had a baby boy (now 6 years old) and she has never been that interested in looking after either him or herself. She has moved in with her boyfriend and left her little boy living with his grandparents. She brags about how she lives off pot noodles and microwave meals and hasn't even used the oven yet. Boggles the brain, it really does!

 

At this point I don't understand how it is physically possible to get accidently pregnant let alone if you don't look after yourself!

 

So true eh? How can they have such rich reproductive organs if they don't take care of themselves..makes no biological sense, mother nature is twisted in many ways lol

 

Dear Mother-in-law,

I get that you expected your 41 year old son to have children by now. I get that the idea of me working after baby is foreign to you. I understand that you feel that since you are 65 that your best "doting grandma" years are fading fast. And, I even get that since the youngest son has twins - according to you, we should have no problem having our own.

Now, let me give you a reality check - I did not come into your son's life until 4 years ago, we only got married 2 years ago. You are not very modern in the baby before marriage dept. If you wanted your son to meet a nice girl and settle down sooner, maybe you shouldn't have tried interfering so much! Also, your other son has been married for 10 years and had the twins through IVF - why do you conveniently forget that??? Oh, and while I have no plans to quit my job, I also have no plans to, as you put it, "put you out and make you drive halfway across the county to babysit". Trust me, I don't feel the need to be indebted to you, nor do I want to deal with the constant "advice" I currently see you give my brother-in-law.

Please, BUTT OUT! I am not soliciting you for fertility, parenting, or any other advice. We are not sharing our struggles, we have no plans to, and if you keep pushing me I will STOP playing nice. So, this Thanksgiving, DO NOT TEST ME - AF is due right around there and you do NOT want to mess with me then!

- Your ever-loving daughter-in-law.