Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

I went to the RE today for my day 12 ultrasound to see if Clomid worked...It didn't, my follicles were pretty tiny. A few 5 mm and a 7 mm and one lonely 16 mm they told me to trigger tomorrow but not to get my hopes up...Tonight I have to take my husband's cousin to her breast feeding/labor and delivery class. Yay for sitting in a room full of 18 year olds who have huge baby bumps after finding out that, once again, I probably won't be having a baby any time in the near future...UGH. The irony is not lost on me.

 

Dear SIL, you tricked my step brother into having a baby by saying you were on the pill to him when you had actually stopped. Stop acting like we're going to forget that when you shove your little boy in our face. You know we've been trying for quite some time now.

I understand I'm technically my step brothers ex (my mom is now with his dad but we dated before they got together for a good 3 1/2 years) but damn woman, stop being such an insecure "he's my baby's daddy now he'll never return to you" attitude. I have no intentions of ever even thinking about being with him again, I love my husband to death so drop it! If your throwing your son in my face is an underhanded mean move by you,congrats it's worked.

 

I really wish some of my "friends" would stop going on about having a Christmas baby bump! I am insanely jealous right now. I don't have any children to buy presents for at ALL, and to me Christmas does not feel right without children around.

 

Totally know what you mean.. I was supposed to be 4 months baby bump at Christmas and so far womb is still empty. (MC at 5 weeks) Feels like there's going to be someone missing this year, like a family relative that couldn't make it

 

Well thanks darling for all the i'm going to support you more. You know husband actions really do speak louder than words. But once again you have shown me how much of a dic* you can be sometimes

 

Getting so fed up of this ridiculous roller-coaster... angry, frustrated, upset, guilty, jealous, embarrassed, scared... all mixed up together & I never know which emotion will pop up from one minute to the next.

TOTM arrived on schedule yesterday & I told hubby that she was here again & that I was disappointed & he said he didn't expect anything else - he's given up thinking that it might be our month. And the sh*t part is, I totally see where he's coming from & don't blame him at all for losing all hope!

 

DH and I have been ttc for 5 years, do all of my friends really have to ask me when we're planning on having kids like we're not trying and then tell me "you have to stop trying". What would they know all of them conceive within a few months. When I found out my best friend of 13 years got a BFP on accident, it destroyed me, although I'm still trying to be happy for her. Just please stop giving me "advice" when you have no idea what it's like.

 

I am on my 3rd cycle of Clomid (after my 2nd cycle resulted in pregnancy but then M/C at 6 weeks) and I did not respond at all!!! My first 2 cycles I developed nice mature follicles and the 3rd I didn't get anything?!

My RE is cutting me off of Clomid and wants to move me on to injectables which DH and will most likely not be able to afford. It is so frustrating to wait for so long then get a glimmer of hope just to have it swiped away before it starts to sink in. Sorry, I am just so upset that my 3rd round was a bust. I don't understand why it worked twice before but not this time.

I just needed to vent about that, I feel like I am just going to lose it!

 

Oh hunny, I completely understand how you are feeling. we have been trying for 6 years and I get that all the time. I have heard "stop trying and it will happen" so many times. My favorite one is "just relax, your young, it will happen." How do they "KNOW" it will happen. All the advice I have recieved are from friends who got pregnant right away, or were not planning on getting pregnant. I had a friend who got pregnant while on birth control!!!!!

 

I know!!! I would have been a week a head of ya girl I totally know what you mean. I am totally jealous right now too. I have a friend who was 7 weeks ahead of me (she wasn't even trying she was only with the guy for 4 months eeerg...anyway) and she is going on and on about how her baby boy is and constantly sending me pics of her sonograms. It is almost like she forgot that I lost my baby after trying for 6 damn years!

 

Dear body, you are such an a**!!! You gave me every BFP symptom in the book including tender bb's internal instead of sensitive bb's, fatigue, car sickness ect and over night you turned them into pure AF symptoms including AF cramps. I hate you so much right now.. I was convinced this month was it! We had perfect timing, used the diva cup, took my daily prenatal, mint tea twice a day, turned down an energy drink that I was offered, haven't smoked in 6 months... Cruelest joke yet in the passed 3 years! This has never happened before..it has always been one or the other flat out. I could smoke a whole pack right now if it weren't for the fear of being a full time smoker again.

 

Dear Mom since we rescued our dog Lola all I have heard from you is "I guess this will be the closest thing I get to a grand child." Really? What kind of comment is that. Do you have any idea what I have been going through all this time? Being poked, prodded and drugged like a lab rat. Its been great fun to get all the symptoms and then nothing but constant heart break when it doesn't work out. And all I can do is blame myself each month. Oh and guess what they found another lump so every six months for the next two years I get to have my bbs squished for a mammogram to make sure that I don't get cancer. And on top of it all the constant worry that this time the test might come back positive and all that I have been through will be for waste because it means I will not be able to have children. I only wish I could tell you what I have been going through but of course I don't. Why? Because you call me on a constant basis to vent about my brother and how you wish thing would be better in your life. If you only new!

Dear MIL if you tell my husband one more time that he needs to go to graduate school before we have kids I am going to flip a lid. I get it your husband has been out of work for four years and you don't want your son to be the in the same shoes. You have no right to tell us how to live our lives. Your son travels on a constant basis, when do you think he will have time to go back to school? Do you really want him to quit his really nice and cushy job? Oh no wait he doesn't have that, he busts his butt. But your son in law just did that, didn't he? I am not saying he will never go back but your priorities and our priorities are different maybe you should just keep your comments to your self because you have no idea what our lives are really like and no idea what we have been going through. Its like a jab in my stomach every time you make the comment, which is pretty much every time we see you.

AAAHHH! Thanks for letting me vent! I needed that!

 

AF is coming... feel crap, just want to cry... am crying... when will this end... so tired.. food, bath and bed it is...

 

Dear AF, You are a crazy ol' b****. I hate when you arrive, and I really hate you on days 2 and 3.

 

Am I really the only woman who can never find her cervix, isn't confident about identifying CM and gets confused by her chart even when FF does all the work? I feel like I fail are fertility awareness

 

NOPE! i am with you with all of that! haha i thought i was the only one!

 

Dear "friend" please stop complaining to me about how your unplanned pregnancy is such poor timing with your house renovation. I get that it's going to be a tough couple months for you but at the end you're going to have a big addition on your already massive house and a baby boy. I'm sorry but I'm having a little trouble sympathizing?

 

This is gonna be weird but..my fingers are no long enough to reach my cervix :S I can never reach fully inside. The g-spot i can but not my cervix