Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[nobump]

A friend from work told me today she is pregnant. Another friend had mentioned to get that she thought I would appreciate hearing first hand. While I appreciated this it was still hard to hear. She is about 18 months younger. But said she had a very low AMH and was told it was almost impossible for her to get pregnant. Happy for her. But still hard to hear when at 41 and 2 failed IVFS and several years NTNP all hope is gone.

 

[nobump]

Failing to deal with the news that a friend from work is pregnant, she is starting to show.... she is around 18 month younger, she had said she had 0 AMH level, so baby is a miracle, after 2 failed IVFs I would be happy to have a miracle.... I am happy for her, but can't help feeling sad.

 

[Rawan]

It's almost one year now since we started trying...when I see baby pictures/people around me getting pregnant, I feel happy for them, but sad for myself...feeling depressed...I can't imagine a life without kids...and I don't want to go through the adoption route...I want one healthy baby...hoping for a miracle....every cycle I feel hopeful...and when af comes all my hopes are crushed...

 

[BelleNuit]

I think I may very well throttle the next person who tells me I just need to relax. Just because we are "unexplained" doesn't mean that there isn't a problem.

 

[Missy1234]

Hi can I join?

 

[nobump]

This thread has went quiet, but today is the day to add a comment!

Feeling incredibly down... a co-worker brought her new born into the office yesterday, it has thrown me off, why do some people, find out that they have 0AMH and then still manage to have a baby.... she has managed to meet, marry and have a baby, while me on the other hand, have multiple test , procedures, a very long wait and 2 failed IVFs... I should be celebrating my kids 3rd birthday this month, instead I have to paint a false smile on my face and be happy for someone else!!!

Life sucks!

 

[Countrygirl13]

Spending hours over the next few weeks teaching GCSE lessons on fertility treatment. Resisting the urge to go into too much detail, just because I can. Feel the slightly unprofessional need to get these young kids to 'get it' and not to ask people if they are trying/ why not etc. etc. Not the time or place or the audience! After the previous few weeks answering questions about pregnancy and birth I'm dreading work.

 

[Desire2Mom]

I'm so tired of reading flyby BFP in threads, especially on LTTTC (here and other sites)! Like, hey I know I've never posted here (or maybe once), but take a look at my tests! Then they disappear from the thread. Or tonight's where they started 10+ other threads, in 2 days, in different sections with "Take a look and tell me what you think" at the same time they're posting in the 1st trimester. Some people just don't understand. I wish there was a little more restrictions on flyby announcements from non-regulars.

 

[AshLin528]

We have been trying for nearly 2 years now, I know compared to some that’s not that long but to me it feels like ages. I hate that if I go to my “friends” they just say things like “well it hasn’t been that long” or “try not to try so hard” I know they have never been in the same place, but do they really not realize I’m just looking for someone to say “that really sucks and life isn’t fair...” not that it would make me feel any better but it’s a heck of a lot better than belittling my issues. And now I’m getting to the point where I resent people or even friends who get pregnant if their partner looks at them. 2 of my friends gave birth to baby #2 this fall and I want to be happy for them but when I give it much thought I find myself getting upset. And I know it’s stupid to feel that way but I can’t help feel that it’s unfair that they have 2 babies and I can't even get pregnant with one.
My husband’s friend is getting married this summer to a woman he started dating on our wedding day, so they have been together exactly as long as we have been trying, and my biggest fear is that they will announce a pregnancy before we find any success. And then I feel selfish for feeling this way.
We Are on our 3rd round of Clomid and Still haven’t achieved ovulation, if this round is unsuccessful our OB/GYN is talking about going another rout and if that’s unsuccessful we’re off to the specialists, but because I’m only 26 she doesn’t feel there is any rush. And to top it off she won’t diagnose me with PCOS even though I have not ovulated since she started testing for it, I get semi-regular periods so according to her I mustn’t have PCOS... ok than why am I not ovulating?

 

[MummyWannaBe1]

After finding out I had been trying for 4 years to conceive I did not need to hear “we got there on the first try- I even knew I was pregnant when I woke the next day!!!!!!”

 

[MummyWannaBe1]

I think I may very well throttle the next person who tells me I just need to relax. Just because we are "unexplained" doesn't mean that there isn't a problem.

My sister tells me this all the time!! I just wanna burst into tears now - it’s been 4 years!!!!

 

[Barro]

After finding out I had been trying for 4 years to conceive I did not need to hear “we got there on the first try- I even knew I was pregnant when I woke the next day!!!!!!”

Some people can be so thoughtless. People don't realize that's like saying "Oh my grandma just made me a delicious batch of cookies" after telling them your grandma died.

Some people do just get lucky like that and it's so unfair. I'm glad you haven't given up, it'll be so worth it when you have that baby in your arms!

 

[DinoKG]

Hello! I'm new here but most definitely not new to ttc. DH and I have been actively trying for about 2 years. I'm 29, he's 34. I've had irregular cycles as long as I can remember (long with brief, albeit painful, bleeding), but I've had testing up the whazoo (technical term) which confirms my reproductive health is not cause for concern. I find this hard to believe when my cycles range anywhere from 29-65 days, but RE and obgyn insist. *shrugs* My super darling (go ahead and barf) husband has low testosterone, low sperm count, and low sperm motility. He experienced minor retrograde ejaculation due to some scar tissue, but that was corrected in July. He has been an energetic athlete with healthy hormonal levels most of his life, but his body went on a downward spiral following an injury at the end of 2015. He saw a new specialist to get him on the right track to raise his testosterone and sperm count, as well as just feel much better in general. Obviously, he can't take testosterone replacement since that would likely drop his counts to zero. He's taking a pharmacy's worth of other prescriptions and supplements, including an oral anti-fugal typically intended for vaginal infections! Per the doctor's suggestion, we also adopted a gluten-free and low sugar diet to reduce inflammation (and hopefully correct some leaky gut issues that are heightening some imbalances).

We were told we have no hope of conceiving until my husband sees significant improvement in numbers. If his counts do not improve, we are unlikely candidates for IUI, as his counts aren't high enough for success. Instead, we will be recommended for IVF. If he does improve, we won't see results for at least 6 months.

I'm just so damn frustrated. I can't help but feel a glimmer of hope all the freaking time. I even caved and bought some pregnancy tests today, I guess just so I could feel that familiar disappointment? I don't know. And I'm super happy for other people having babies! I just can't take another comment about relaxing, it happening when I don't expect it, whatever happened to everything in moderation, etc. My mother had 4 kids in 5 years, and she can be just the worst about these comments and crapping all over the extra measures my husband I have to take to get pregnant. Same with my sister, who had 2 kids in 3 years. She even had the nerve to say that it wasn't worth it for people over 35 to have kids since they are so tired. Ummm... What?!

Anyway, I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing here. I just need some buddies on this journey. However, I wish NONE of us were on it! I suppose I would have been happier for my search for support to come up empty.

Okay, nice to meet you all!

 

[weebubba]

TTC for 8.5 years. I'm 42 and have reasonably regular periods. DH has been checked his results were good. I'm still ovulating, had this checked twice now. I've been smoking on and off over the course of ttc, and this last year I have comfort eaten myself huge!! I feel like a failure as we both have children from previous relationships but I can't get pregnant. We're not entitled to any help on the NHS and can't afford private. I know I need to quit smoking (AGAIN) and lose weight but I use both as crutches when continued BFNs make me want to give up trying. It seems as though the whole world is pregnant except me, which I know sounds pathetic as its not true. I feel guilty as we are lucky to have children already but the desire to have our own child is so great that we both struggle when my period arrives each month as it is so crushing. I keep most of my feelings to myself as I know I sound so selfish but I had to get it off my chest.

 

[promise07]

I’ve been trying for 13 years straight and I’ve done everything you can think of but ivf. One chemical andnothing else but heartache year after year. Now I’m 14dpo and more confused than ever. Temp dips and faint lines in BS tests. I’m just ready to call it quits and move on

 

[elek87]

I am so sad that you've been trying for 13 years promise07 I am so exhausted been trying for 2 years. I have PCOS and my partner has low sperm count due very low motility. Yesterday I felt so sad when he said life is difficult and we agree that next year we will be starting IUI & IVF. Fertility meds hasn't work for us. It's even worst people are getting pregnant everyday and they don't even appreciate it. I am so heartbroken. I've been around the group reading stories for a while I've been praying for others more than I pray for myself because i know the pain. It's even worse the way other people treat you if you don't have a child , I don't know if you've been seen as less of woman. I am really traumatised but I try to be stronger for my partner because the stigma its worse to him. African Countries fertility issues is taken as your fault as they still not much knowledge about fertility issues as they are less affected. My prayers are with all of you Ladies who are trying to conceive for a long time to be blessed with a health babies soon.

 

[deafgal01]

My main complaint is why does it have to be so damn expensive to even undergo IVF? it doesn't even guarantee a baby at the end of that so... Why does it cost as much as a car does? Same thing applies to adoption (why is it so freaking expensive to adopt?)

I used to want to become a mother so badly. Now I'm just wondering if maybe I lucked out with my issues and am better off being an "auntie". It still doesn't take away the "ache" that I experience occasionally when people talk about their kids.

 

[Jenernie]

Only question I have is are vents for those who are LTTC #1 acceptable? Meaning if someone were to vent about others pregnancy would it be safe without getting jumped on?

Wanna say thank you for re-opening these vent threads. Lets hope for a brighter future this time and for venting to not be taken personally this time

Like seeing people moaning about being uncomfortable ... And pregnant ..

 

[elek87]

My main complaint is why does it have to be so damn expensive to even undergo IVF? it doesn't even guarantee a baby at the end of that so... Why does it cost as much as a car does? Same thing applies to adoption (why is it so freaking expensive to adopt?)

I used to want to become a mother so badly. Now I'm just wondering if maybe I lucked out with my issues and am better off being an "auntie". It still doesn't take away the "ache" that I experience occasionally when people talk about their kids.

I just don't understand why its so expensive and why the insurance doesn't cover it because Fertility issues its medical too. I have so much pain when people say oh you wouldn't understand you not a mom or even say when are having kids like i support to just buy them in any shop. I appreciate so much Ladies that come out and say I've been trough the same issue I never give up I am holding my baby now and they is definitely nothing wrong with you. It make me feel better and have energy to carry on. One time I was sitting alone thinking if I was not about to get married I would be just single and not even try to have kids because I never face so heartbreak and pain my life especially when Dr tell you need to use Ovulation test and the APP keep telling you you suppose to have Ovulated and You keep on seeing negative tests. Even I ovulated my partner sperm might not be enough its heartbreaking in another level. I just don't understand why adoption is so complicated, its so long. I haven't tried it but I know from a Colleague who started that process a child was born and it was finalised when he was 2 years old but we a did a baby shower for her. I still have hope that even at age 33 we will hold our baby. I also wish each and everyone of you who trying for so long.

 

[mimi4]

My main complaint is why does it have to be so damn expensive to even undergo IVF?

It mainly depends on a country, Europe is more affordable. I paid EUR2,500 for IVF with meds in the top clinic with top notch treatment and excellent service.