Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[Myshelsong]

It absolutely is not fair. You sister sounds like a pill, and having to pay for her way and her boyfriend and note their child sucks.
It is just what I would do. I would give the landlord my thirty days, let my sister know that I am are moving out and she has too as well and just go. But we are completely different people, it was just my thoughts on the matter, and it isn't fair.

 

[Valeriachan]

the only reason why I havent just done that is bc i dont want family get togethers to be even more tension but i am getting to the point that i would just do that however on a another matter.....

women who have been taking any of these diclofenac, etoricoxib, naproxen, and a placebo medications on a regular basis who have been TTC this might be a reason why u havent been successful recent study have discovered that they might be the cause if on any of them

here is the website https://www.webmd.com/women/news/20150617/nsaids-women-fertility

read all the way through even the second page reading this made me cry bc i have been on Naproxen for 3 years

 

[Whimsical88]

Val thankfully i have never taken any of those medications. i will read the article when i get some time just to see what may be a contributing factor to you not being able to conceive.

i second Myshel and say give your notice and move out. your sister is not your responsibility. she has her in laws and your mum she can move in with and be their problem. and as much as you like your home, its not yours. you seem to be the bill payer and food provider and nothing more so get out now before baby comes and you feel more stuck.... you have to stand up for your family (bf and you) and im sure your bf wants out, just because its your family he can not do anything till you stand up for youll.

 

[Valeriachan]

Not buying there food they have welfare help with food n they get like 400 dollars from the state for there first child n most like will increase after new baby is born so yeah but they dont give us any of the money to help and they barely buy what they r suppose to for the house so they are being selfish when it comes to that

as for the just giving out notice yes we can do that hell we have even talked about moving down to a 1 bedroom but that is on hold right now bc they r still living under the roof would love to get them out from our hair

other than his brother no one else lives here in washington they all live elsewhere in the US as for our mother that isnt possible she lives with my older sister and her husband to help take care of their kids long story... n he has already said HELL NO to that plus they dont have the room for more people.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Valeriachan,
Your situation with your sister makes me so angry for you! If it were me I'd give them a deadline to move out and that would be the day I'd pack up all their stuff and change the locks. If I was feeling guilty about it, I would give them enough money for rent for a month or two for a room somewhere and then wipe my hands of them.

Honestly, I wouldn't feel one ounce of guilt though. If she were alone in this I could see how you *might* feel bad but in this case her man is still in the picture. There's no excuse and no way you and your OH should be taking care of two grown people.

Your sis is the type of person who will leech as long as you let her so at some point you're going to have to put a stop to it. If you put her out I guarantee you she will be just fine. She will just find someone else's place to crash at and being pregnant you know someone will feel sorry for her.

The more you wait the harder and harder it's going to be to get her out. I think your older sis has the right idea in not letting her stay with her. It's so much easier to say "no" from the beginning than to have to throw someone out.

The thing that really burns me up is that your lil sis got pregnant while she was living with you. If she and her OH had been looking for a job like they were supposed to then they wouldn't have gotten pregnant to start with.

 

[Valeriachan]

He had a job when they got pregnant he claims he got fired for not calling in for days he was taking off but yet he was telling me he was calling in when he was telling us they didnt have work for him or there was a leak at the work site(construction is the type of work he was working) so i am not 100% the real reason but we all believe he was lying about not having work just so he can stay home bc just about as soon as she got pregnant he was skipping work saying he didnt have any for whatever reason of the day.

The only reason we gave them a place to stay was bc we were helping her get her first daughter back from the state Long story... so basically we in the end didnt have a choice but when the job he had when we moved to washington he lost that job just as we were getting up here and then he was going to get unemployment which didnt work n then it took him forever and a day to start looking for another job finally he got a job and then screwed around with the job when she got prego n he finally after almost 9 months he finally got a job which is only part-time right now so lord knows when he will start screwing with that one she hasnt given birth but any day now so soon will start being the excuses. When he was working he was helping but my OH has been working almost for as long as we have been in washington which has been a year now n on the 2nd of June would have been living in the apartment for a year which means they have been living with us for that long n that is 9 months longer then what they were supposed to have been living here bc they said 3 months n like i said on June 2nd it would be a year

Right now we have to stay in this apartment complex bc my job is a care giver and my client is in the complex so conveniences purposes for me stay in the same complex.

 

[Whimsical88]

Val im sorry to say this but as long as you keep making excuses for them and keep them under your roof, you will have to put up with them. one day you will have enough and that will be the day you will find the strength and kick them out and not sit making excuses or feel sorry for them. until that day, i hope you find strength to put up with all that.

as far as ttc, i hope you really get a BFP soon. maybe you will feel better having your own baby.

 

[Valeriachan]

will wont have to deal with them much longer bc we talked to the front office i asked is there 1 bedroom available but there isnt one yet and when i asked I wasnt trying yet bc even we arent financially really for that just yet need alittle bit of time but soon so shouldnt havent to deal with them much longer

So yuppie *victory dance*

 

[Whimsical88]

thats wonderful to hear....good luck and yeah babies come even when you think you not ready...when they here, you will be prepared....dont worry

 

[Valeriachan]

Sadly found out last night they need 6 months or less to get the money to move back to Cali where they r going to mooch off someone else so hopefully it is less rather than the 6 months but not getting excited

 

[Whimsical88]

Sorry, wouldve been nice to see them go now

 

[CaliDreaming]

Ugh. How much cash do they need to get to Cali if they're just going to be staying with someone anyway? Is it possible for you and other family to get them the money right now?

Honestly I'm worried that they will still be firmly planted on your sofa in 6 months time. Remember, these are the same people who said they would only need to stay with you for 3 months and now they've been with you over a year and are starting their family under your roof. If they're saying 6 months that probably means 5 years. The fact they would propose a wishy washy six month deadline means they have absolutely NO sense of urgency.

You have got to do everything in your power to get your sis out before she has the baby, or it will be extremely hard for you to get her out. Once she has that baby all bets will be off. Trust me. She will probably take over your bedroom too because she'll need some space for the baby.

I am very worried about you and your well being. You are dealing with infertility and an unwanted house guest who has taken over your home. That is just all too much stress for one person to deal with and no doubt it is making your health challenges worse. Both of those things are incredibly hard to deal with by themselves, but at the same time is unimaginable. And as bad as things are now, they are going to get a whole lot worse if your sister is not gone by the time she has the baby. I just can't imagine...

You need to be focusing ALL of your attention on yourself dealing with the mental, emotional and physical aspects of infertility. Your home should be your safe space where you don't have to deal with other people's baby bumps and ultrasounds and the like.

Valeriachan, you have got to get the strength to kick your sister and her boyfriend out ASAP. Whatever it takes. Your sister and boyfriend are horrible, but you also have to accept responsibility for this situation. Stop making excuses and get them out. You have explained why you have let them stay, but I really don't follow your logic. There is no reason why they couldn't be out of your house today. It wouldn't be pleasant, but once it's done you get your life back.

 

[Valeriachan]

There is no time to get them out now like i said before she is due any day now like really any day now

where i said dont have the finances was for giving them the money to move out we r barely making rent as it is.

Well this time we r getting smart we are writing up a contract this time that states the 6 months and thats it if they arent ready that sucks to be them bc that is it and it also going to state that if we get behind on rent again we are jumping ship and moving to the 1 bedroom regardless if they have the money then as well all 4 of us will sign and date plus a witness and give copies and emails of the contract to all parties and those that loved up here to washington so we r covering our asses this time we r taking no chances that they change the plan this time. We live in a 3 bedroom and i dont care if they pay me to watch the baby not happening she is not going to get away with what she did the first pregnancy a few years back. She kept having everyone else watch her(my fiance and i werent trying yet so it wasnt insult to injury then) now i could understand the first week bc she had a horrible pregnancy barely would get sleep most nights bc she had gotten this itching problem that caused her to itch all over her body and she had horrible morning sickness all throughout her pregnancy even at the point it should have died down but it didnt so first week was understandable not for a whole month plus that was outrageous.

Also already asked if they could ask the people they will be mooching off of if they could get the money to get down there by them and she said they cant help which since its her grandpa knowing his situation she isnt lying about it so thats out as to how much it will cost well truck to get down there with there stuff, gas, the food down the way and if they need to stay in a hotel at any point that kind of stuff it gets pricey bc we just did the trip a year a go our selves n right now no one she knows bc(she never hangs out with any of her friends anymore who from her point of view r best friends minus one that turned into a bitch(which i know who she is talking about bc when i lived in washington before they went to high school together so i know who n how she is she really is a bitch)

i get what everyone is saying i dont disagree with it but bc of being the one that was at the beginning forced to have them move in to the same place i know my reason doesnt make sense but that is bc i cant explain it in depth and before we lived together under the same roof again we knew there would be problems but not like this and plus before living together again we didnt have problems... but we both know we do so much better not living together.

Well there u have it i believe i addressed everything but if i didnt then i will answer in next message

I wont deny i have a problem with saying no but in this case

 

[CaliDreaming]

Sorry I realize I might have come off a little harsh in my post. My heart goes out to you for what you're going through. I just get so angry hearing about how they're taking advantage of you and at a time when you're going through your own struggles.

 

[Valeriachan]

I completely understand ur frustration I am right there with u what makes me mad most is that she doesn't care that is what hurts the most n pisses me off the most as well.

 

[Valeriachan]

So heres the update

baby born on Saturday morning there was no time to get her out trust me really wanted her out bc i didnt want to deal with any of that. Now stuck with it for maximum of 6 months that started on June 1st already have contract ready to sign just have to wait till fiance gets back and will sign it my mom made 5 copies of it one for each of us at the apartment n a witness.

 

[Whimsical88]

i hope they keep to the contract. i pray that the next 6 months do not hurt you too badly watching your sis with a newborn..... sending you lots of prayers

 

[CaliDreaming]

Val So sorry you have to deal with this six more months. One day they will be out and you will have your life back. It may feel like forever but the writing is on the wall for them. Just hang in and make the best of things for now.

I've had the misfortune of having a relative impose on me so I know what a pain it can be. Now I am the family member that everyone knows in advance not to ask for favors because they know what the answer will be, lol.

I will be praying for you and sending all the good vibes I can, not just for this situation but that you get pregnant. I am going to try to stay out of this thread, but if you ever decide to start a TTC journal I'll be sure to follow you!

 

[Valeriachan]

On there is no way they arent keeping with the contract bc no matter what happens they asked for 6 months thats all they get bc once the contract is signed they r locked into it there is no getting out of it they have plenty of time to get what they need if they have the motivation(the contract) if they dont take it seriously thats on them.... there is always the chance that we start to fall behind again they have no choice.

As for how much this 6 months is going to hurt i dont doubt that bc i have already felt it but i am keeping it together for right now. It was the same for when my older sister got pregnant it hurt when she announced it but when the babies came maternal instinct kicked in still hurt but was able to manage though it some how yes it isnt completely the same bc we didnt live under the same roof but was able to make it through but also she knows what it is like she was ltttc for a couple of years so she isnt insensitive about it like my little sister is about the whole thing bc she has never had to try it just happened, Lucky bitch. N she feels like it is her business to tell me stuff like we should wait until better life style which is impossible with her living her with us bc we cant spread out wings to live the way we want to. She also feels like he has to help with everything when all it is doing is boosting her ego along with her attitude that she doesnt see is happening.

After what has happened now with all of this that is how we will be saying for a visit is completely different however i dont think we would let them stay over for a visit after all of this anymore bc it will just be hell after this.

Thank u all for ur words of comfort i wish i could get rid of them now or if they had followed with what they said before and moved when he got his tax return but they didnt and they didnt get there licenses either like they were suppose to as well as that car they were going to get instead of the apartment with the tax return and they bitch at me about not doing what i say i am going to do talk about a hypocrites they need to take a good long look at themselves before they start bitching at me about that shit at least i follow through with what i say

That is why they wont get away with not leaving in 6 months this time not after what happened 9 months ago when they a) got prego and b) didnt move out like they said they were going to it was a lesson learned truly alone with helping them ever again like this.

 

[nl13]

I am so angry and frustrated. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years and nothing is happening. Not a single positive pregnancy test. I'll soon be 33 so I'm not getting any younger. I was finally able to see a specialist a couple of months ago and so far they found nothing wrong with me or DH. But it's all going very slowly, I have to wait at least a month between appointments, I barely had any tests done, they want to do as little as possible which is fine for the more invasive tests, but I feel like they could be testing for more with the blood tests.

I was really hopeful with this cycle because my appointment coincided with the time I was about to ovulate so the doctor could see that I was indeed about to ovulate and that my lining looked great. We BD every day, before then, and then for 3 days after the ultrasound daily, my temperature went up and stayed up so I know I covered all my bases. So I was truly positive and thinking this might be it, up until last night when I started spotting. Even though I had 3 BFN I was hoping that maybe I was just one of those women who get BFP later on. Guess not.

Next step is having a HSG done, which I'm not looking forward to, and which I might have to wait a while to do anyway because they may not have any availability for this cycle. And I'm not very hopeful that will help with anything, because if they find nothing wrong then what? And if something IS wrong, either surgery or IVF is in the horizon. There's a 4+ month wait time for that where I live, if I decide to go that route.

I'm so angry that I have to go through all of this. My whole life I have dreamed of having children. I love babies and children. Literally ever since I was a child. This is the thing I want the most, why does it have to be so difficult?

Even a little over a year into this I was pretty positive, not letting it get to me because I know it takes time for some people. But now it's quickly approaching 3 years. I feel like no one really cares. Doctor seems to be in no rush. I'm pissed that people who don't even want children get pregnant. People who are horrible parents and treat their children like crap have multiple children easily. I have an acquaintance who got pregnant twice on birth control and she did not want children until much later, if ever. Irresponsible people have children all the time, and here I am, having to through great lengths to make sure that this has a chance of happening. Having to research things, take supplements, go to doctor's appointments, tests.

Why??? I'm sick of this.