Long Term Trying To Conceive Vent Thread

[Whimsical88]

nl13 i am so sorry you have to go through all you are gone through. i feel joining here will help you. have you been referred to and RE? maybe seek a different doctor as alot of doctors are sometimes of no help. with your are, things should be moving faster. no offense but egg quality drops after 30 and most RE's tend to work faster with ladies over 30.

the hsg is great to have done. ALOT of women fall preg the next month because the hsg cleans them out but that is provided they dont find anything. try and keep calling, maybe they will have a cancellation and can put you in.

im sorry you are frustrated. alot of are. with ttc, there really is so many unanswered questions and it really is the worst emotional rollercoaster you can be on.

i hope you can do IVF soon if you have to.

you welcome to vent here and maybe make your own journal so we can follow your journey. i really hope you get more answers soon and your journey is short.

 

[treyken3]

Babies are EVERYWHERE!!!!!! Go to the mall, everyone is carrying a newborn, co workers are having them, family members are having them, turn the tv on and there are shows about them, so you turn it to animal planet and animals are giving birth to them!!!! Are they really everywhere, or am I just noticing them more because I'm so sensitive about babies!!!! GEEZ!!!!!!

 

[AnonymousBee]

Anonymous account so I can vent freely...

I was doing so well with my struggle. I was optimistic and I had a plan. I just found out my husband either didn't care enough to remember my diagnosis or thought I was lying. Because it's really easy to struggle to conceive for 3 years, watching your peers around you get pregnant, have kids, and start moving onto their second babies. It's really easy to struggle with your sex life because the lack of estrogen makes things dry down there.

I would say I'm going to stop TTC because this issue is such a big deal to me, but I can't even. I don't even think I'm capable of having children at this point to be able to say that.

I was looking forward to my birthday but now I'm just down about it. I'm going to be 26 and I've been trying for three patient years while people have been asking and commenting, "When are you guys having kids? Why aren't you guys having kids yet? Are you guys not wanting kids? Oh you'd be such a good mother! Just wait it'll happen. Just relax. Just--"

Just go F yourself already.

 

[CareBear]

I'm 37 and been ttcing for 9 years though not trying for the last few years because there's no point. I'm never going to have children, I'm never going to have a baby and experience those cuddles, the first steps, the first words, discovering their passion and tonight I'm wondering what's the point. Practically everyone else I know has managed to have a baby, some 3 or 4 and I can't even have one. All I want is one little baby that's mine in ever way shape and form.

 

[nobump]

2 years since 2nd failed IVF doesn't get any easier.

Not trying anymore age is not on our side. Sometimes it just hurts and makes it difficult to just enjoy the life we have.

 

[nobump]

Friend that have birth on day after my ET from my last failed IVF is 12 weeks today with her second. Which would have been from a FET as she had eggs frozen from earlier cycle.

Actual feel ok about it. Suspected she was expecting a couple of weeks ago an was upset. Think having time to digest my thoughts helped.

 

[CareBear]

.

 

[wannabemummyb]

We are in Paris for our wedding anniversary and I'm due to ovulate within the next couple of days, so I thought perhaps the universe was trying to tell me that this is the weekend that we are going to get pregnant (and sustain surely) then the universe inflicts me with an awful head cold so all I want to do is sleep and evening kissing drains me of energy!!!! WTF have I ever done to you universe surely I deserve a break soon!!!!

 

[MrstoMommy]

Okay.

I'm officially ready to vent. I've been trying to conceive for 6 years now.
Honestly, I've reached a state of BLAH. I'm not happy and I'm not sad, I'm just BLAH.

Anyway, I'll be thirty this year and I've become more vocal to family and friends regarding my inability to conceive (Hubby is perfect).

I'll rewind a bit. Before, when I tried to explain to people 3 years ago about our problems (for support), people said I was too young to worry.

Now, everyone wants to give me advice and rush me to fight to get a baby out.

I know DH wants to try again too, but it's like do I have it in my heart to push myself down that insane road.

TTC depresses me so much because I'm a crazy tester who only sees negative results which results in practically weekly.

I've reached a point where I can scroll through my Instagram feed of beautiful babies and be happy as long as I don't focus on myself at all. They brighten my day.

And now, it's like I'm traveling back into the seven levels of hell. I want a baby more than anything don't get me wrong, but now I have ten times the pressure that I did before. It's like all eyes on me. One person every time she sees me, Are you pregnant yet?

 

[wannabemummyb]

Had lunch with a friend today who told me she is struggling with ttc - she's been trying a few months! I felt like screaming, in the end I just said "try doing it for nearly 7 years"

The thing that gets me most is she will probably get pregnant soon and it's another person who gets to have a baby when it feels like we never will

 

[mrsbertrand]

TTC Sucks! I don't think it matters how long you have been TTC, (I can't imagine 7 years, or the emotional havock it has wreaked on you WannaBe) It matters how badly in your heart you want to have a baby. Haven't been to the fertility clinic since June, but am on a wait list for covered IVF.

Hard to BD on appropriate days or at all as I was diagnosed with IBS-D a year ago and it has negatively affected my sex life.

Been TTC 3 years (as of December 18). Though I'm not sure frequency of sex would matter, as we BD every day for two months when we first started TTC.

Hubby's sperm is abnormal, thought the specialist didn't seem too concerned. Not sure why this isn't working.

I am watching everyone around me get pregnant 1 and two times over in this time frame ( cousins, siblings, friends, co-workers etc ). I was finally at peace with it in July but that misery is creeping in again.

 

[nobump]

Reorganize our wardrobe today. Moved work clothes to spare room. Accepting that it will only be the two of us that live here.

 

[nobump]

Can't be bothered with Christmas this year. Haven't put any decorations up in the house. We are heading to family over Christmas so can't see the point of decorating for just the 2 of us.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Just about keeping it together this year, as we've now hit 7 years trying, really not feeling Christmas (it's normally my fav time of year) but I'm putting on a brace face. Then my dad (one of the few people who knows what we are going through) sits there and says "I really think Christmas is a time for little ones" WTF seriously - f***ing insensitive and also makes me feel he would rather be with my siblings who have kids!

 

[nobump]

Late. Cramps. Negative test. Same as last year! Why do my cycle go funny at this time of year?

 

[nobump]

Witch has arrived. Just as I started to relax post Xmas and NY.

False alarm! Confused.

 

[Firefly Skies]

IF I were to succeed this month, or in the next few months, there's someone else at work who is most likely going to have a baby around the same time as I would. She only just started trying, but is very regular and everything looks good.

I'm really worried about things like holidays, time off, etc. She hasn't been there as long, but she's above me. So I'm worried I wouldn't have that time off, because she'd have it for her baby and would be given preference.

Seems a bit ridiculous, getting all upset over something that hasn't even happened. The prospect just sucks that I'll have waited this long, only to get the shaft when it comes to spending time with that child (after years of working all the holidays because I had no kids) because of it.

Had lunch with a friend today who told me she is struggling with ttc - she's been trying a few months! I felt like screaming, in the end I just said "try doing it for nearly 7 years"

The thing that gets me most is she will probably get pregnant soon and it's another person who gets to have a baby when it feels like we never will

I know how you feel. When I was TTC there was another woman at work, older than I, who started TTC. She got everyone to fawn over her "struggles" while she would constantly belittle mine.

Any time I tried to empathize with her, she'd tell me, "Oh well you're still young -- I don't have any time!" This was complete with advice like "just relax". Which is great and all, but PCOS doesn't give a shit if I'm relaxed or not.

She now has a 2 year old, after just a few months of TTC.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Yep you are right sweetie, it doesn't work, especially not with a medical condition that makes it difficult.

Like you I hate it when anyone says they have started trying as they all end up having babies before me

 

[Tink80]

Why do I even bother? Every month I'm crushed. I'm depressed. Why do I still get hopeful that maybe sometime it will be different? Every test negative. Staring at it. Willing it to be positive. Searching for another line. Maybe if I hold it sideways, upside down, spin in a circle, I'll see a little glimmer of hope?

Why am I so selfish? I've had my daughter. I should be happy with that. Why do I have to be greedy and want another? But yet I feel like I'll regret it if I don't at least try.

37. Why didn't I start trying earlier? I feel like time is running out. I feel like I'm torturing myself and taking time away from just being happy. But something keeps pushing me. A feeling that someone is missing still.

God, can you please just tell me if I am wasting my time with this or not? Tell me what to do. I can't see straight anymore.

 

[Firefly Skies]

Why do I even bother? Every month I'm crushed. I'm depressed. Why do I still get hopeful that maybe sometime it will be different? Every test negative. Staring at it. Willing it to be positive. Searching for another line. Maybe if I hold it sideways, upside down, spin in a circle, I'll see a little glimmer of hope?

I know exactly what you mean. I've done that song and dance before and had to make myself stop. After a few years of nothing, I came to accept that I'm not going to make myself pregnant by pretending there's a line. In fact, when I did get a positive test I threw it away because I convinced myself I was just searching for a line again.

It's been harder lately, especially after those two early m/c. I find myself doing the same thing: hold it this way, bend it that way, take a picture of it and photoshop the everloving crap out of it to see if MAYBE I somehow missed a line with my own two eyes.

I'm on CD31ish and keep getting negatives, but I'm still doing the same thing because I'm so ticked that I'm not only late but haven't gotten a positive test yet either.