Looking for people TTC after miscarriage

[Chickybaby]

Happyway sometimes life gets in the way a bit for sure! Hopefully your session after positive is just what it takes, definitely possible. And on the testing yes! Exactly how I feel. Can't stop myself then when I see the negative I feel stupid haha.

Lesonde! Wow what a whirlwind. Glad you and hubby have found a way to reconnect in a physical sense but wow that's a lot to process for sure. How many days before ovulation did you DTD? Good call working with your RE again in case, at the very least maybe this will be another thing that will help with a decision on if/when you want to try again. Its a little but exciting though all the same

 

[2Baby2]

Hey ladies-

I think this question has been asked before (sorry)

How long after you stopped bleeding from your MC did you get AF?

She was due today and I’ve been cranky and moody but nothing....

 

[HappyWay]

2Baby2: Took 5 weeks for me for first AF. Even the next 2 took just less than 5 weeks each (my usual cycles are 28-29 days right on time)

 

[Chickybaby]

Mine took 6 weeks. Not unusual for me to have a longer cycle though. Waiting for my next one to finish. Looking like it will be 5 to 6 weeks

 

[lesondemavie]

Chicky - 5 days prior so like I said...possible but not probable but then two eggs makes it even more possible . I waffle, I will be thrilled if this just magically all works out, but I also really don’t want the anxiety of another pregnancy over the holidays.

Regarding when to expect AF mine is always 1 week later than my norm after a mmc (counting cytotec or D&C as day 1).

 

[Chickybaby]

Lesonde yes the anxiety will be tough, the unknown is hard I find. There's a lot of if it all works that will be great kind of thinking, followed by thoughts about how Christmas could suck with heartbreak. I will still be sad if I'm not pregnant by Christmas but if I'm not pregnant now I doubt I'd be testing again until Christmas time or later. Bright side -yum food and boozy drinks right?

I'm trying to resist the urge to test here. I was totally convinced I was pregnant but now I'm not. I still really want to pee on something though! Blah just want to make it to Sunday, 12 (?) Dpo. It no line by then I'll wait for AF and hope she shows on time, at least that would mean I pinpointed ovulation OK.

 

[LadyStardust4]

I was 5 weeks for AF to come back. Usually 28 day cycle.

Chickybaby, keep us updated! X

 

[lesondemavie]

I was pg and super sick with my first rainbow over Thanksgiving in a different state back in 2016. It was tough but I just told ppl I had a cold and hid as needed. I was 11 weeks by Xmas and decided to go ahead and tell my family the week before so I didn’t have to deal with it. I was anxious, but past the point of both mcs and able to find the hb on my Doppler.

This time Thanksgiving will be right around testing time, and I’d only be about 8 weeks at Xmas. After losing my last baby at 8+5 and not finding out until a week later, I don’t want to tell anyone (even myself) if/when I’m pg again until 2nd tri. Any baby no matter the timing will be much loved. This was just all part of why I wanted to wait until January.

So many people think it’s so fun to announce on the holidays too without realizing how absolutely devastating it can be for someone who is struggling or grieving. Oddly enough both of my SILs announced early on Xmas a year apart and they both tried for a year plus but no loss. It’s like the second they were pg they forgot how hard it all was and that there were others out there still silently struggling.

Chicky I’m kmfx for you!

 

[Weebles]

I think part of the reason why people seem to forget the second they get pregnant is because of how much they were looking forward to doing all those thing. My husband's cousin struggled for over 10 years to get pregnant. Had a baby, had a loss, and just announced a couple days ago, literally after seeing two lines. (All IVF) It hurts but not a lot of people know she had a loss which she didn't announce. So I guess I understand wanting to celebrate even though it's early. Part of me wishes I had announced. All my coworkers ended up finding out I had a miscarriage but none knew I was even pregnant. I was so happy to be pregnant, it was a dream come true. I wish I had shared that happiness when I had the chance. Although now, I don't know what I'll do. I probably will feel like you and not even want to announce it to myself. I wish I could be one of those ladies who didn't even know they were pregnant. I think those are the people I am most jealous of.
It helps when I think about how every person was the result of a pregnancy. Life should be celebrated. There's really no hiding it anyway.

 

[kiki1234]

I went back and forth on posting this here, but thought that maybe it would give people a little extra faith? This was cycle 5, I had bought the clomid, weaned off the Vitex and was all ready to start the next cycle. I decided to test at 10dpo, cause if randomly I was pregnant I will start Progesterone asap. I was shocked when it popped up positive. The following test is from 11dpo. I only have cheapos so will just test on them for progression. Already they look darker than my last pregnancy (with that pregnancy it was about this dark closer to 5 wks). Fingers crossed this is a sticky one - but the cynic in me is just focusing on that if this ends in a miscarriage - we can officially get referred out due to 3 losses.

Les: Happy to see you back in the game - I hear you, if this works out we aren't announcing told well after holidays.

Fingers crossed for all of you ladies!

 

[Chickybaby]

Congratulations kiki, glad to see some good news here!

We discussed announcements a while ago and all agreed that we would love to see each others bfp's so thank you for sharing.

Announcements from people in 'real' life are a lot harder. My BIL and his new wife are away on their honeymoon and I'm so nervous they might get pregnant soon. They already have 2 kids and I dont think they even want more but still a bit nervous. If it all worked out, being pregnant together and having close cousins would be amazing but all I can see is her having a healthy baby and me having another loss followed by pity from everyone. But I'm very pessimistic in general.

Thanks for the luck ladies, will for sure let you know one way or the other.

Oh and weebles, I announced to family and close friends. I'm glad I did because I am so glad we were able to celebrate our baby and talking about the loss after helped for me. It was weird with some people though that didn't mention it at all after they heard. I think if we get pregnant again I will be slightly more guarded but I'm not sure. Its a personal decision, my friend hated having to untell people so she doesn't tell anyone hardly till 14ish weeks. Xx

 

[HappyWay]

Kiki1234: Congratulations!!! This is wonderful news!

I personally am coping a lot better about the loss since a few days, i was looking at Oct/Nov testing groups and was feeling very positive and hopeful whenever i saw a BFP announced there. I was so badly waiting to see the first BFP in this group yet, some how it would make me believe that even after such a heart wrenching loss, we too really would have a BFP and a healthy pregnancy with a child in our arms. Yippee for the team!

All other ladies and myself: we will be there soon!

 

[lesondemavie]

Congrats Kiki! One step closer.

Weebles the announcing early isn’t the part that bothers me so much as the doing it on a holiday. Perhaps you were looking forward to it before, but Idk at least for me I’ve realized how selfish that is, how announcing another time will be just as happy, and it’s a minor adjustment in a happy time to help add a little less pain to those still struggling.

I felt that way last two times. We told those close to us right away so we could celebrate what time we had. This third time I just want to close my eyes and wish it all away, to go on with my happy family of three and pretend like none of this is happening.

 

[lesondemavie]

I also get that sharing publicly helps some, but that will never be me. I’m not a very “public” person in general, and I don’t want everyone else’s input on what I should think or feel as I go through this. I just feel like it’s none of their business.

 

[Chickybaby]

Glad i didn't test, spotting and cramping. Way more disappointed than I thought I would be but will bounce back in a few days I'm sure. We did all we could and that's that.

 

[Weebles]

Congratulations Kiki!

I understand, where you're coming from lesonde, especially about announcing on a holiday. I was just rambling my own thoughts, sharing pretty much what I have to tell myself so I can deal when I see things like that.

I'm not very public on social media either.

 

[lesondemavie]

Hugs your way chicky

 

[Weebles]

Sorry Chicky. It sucks

 

[Sallyanne81]

Thanks for all the support and advice everyone! Sometimes it feels like others in the outside world just don't understand.

I hit at a bit of a low point after seeing my SIL a few weeks ago (she walked into my in-laws house and exposed her stomach for them to see whilst I was standing behind her - that's not normal is it!?!). Then this week my MIL had a pep talk with me, she told me I should just get over it as I was lucky (to have had 3 miscarriages in a row) as some people can't even get pregnant at all, I think she was trying to help?

I'm starting to come through the other side now getting my first AF has helped, I had 2 wks of bleeding then AF came 4 wks 5 dys after the bleeding stopped. I was convinced I was pregnant I took 5 pregnancy tests (all massive BFNs) before AF arrived, it must have been the hormones going mental.

Still waiting for karyotype results to come back then going to go back to the gyne about the other tests, there seems to be a bit of a family history of thyroid issues so I am going to insist on that one too.

I'm on CD 9 is anyone around there too?

So happy to see Kiki's BPF! Hoping to see some more announcements on here soon!

 

[HappyWay]

oh Sally! I am sorry people around you are showing such insensitive behavior!
And it is not normal to walk into a room and expose the belly, pregnant or not!
The best thing i did was 'ignore' all the free knowledge i was dumped on when i was in my darkest place. Everybody thought i should have moved on, everybody kept saying miscarriages are very common, everybody said to me at least you know there are no problems for conception so be happy for that and keep trying and of course move on, they said 'it's been like 4 weeks, you still feeling bad?!' , my MIL and FIL said 'TAKE IT LIGHTLY!'

I stopped talking to people on phone (luckily none of family lives close by so they can't drop by) I only turned to this group for understanding and comfort, which i got
It is not ok for people to decide when i should move on. I was already going through such physical and emotional pain, self-doubt, vulnerability, i definitely don't want people to come and say shitty words (even if they think they are trying to help, even if they are right!)

I hope you will find it in you to tune out this non-sense and focus on you alone right now