Love,Patience,& Support-Staying tgther until all preggo! 14BFPs! 2 Twins 4 angels

[sallyhansen76]

Thank you ladies, so much. For all the support. I love you all.
Its ok you know to talk about the situations you guys are having too, i wont be offended. I feel like i need to grieve, but at the same time....i need things to stay as they were. Thank you for everything. I ll be checking in time to time. xxxxx

 

[BabyBumpAhead]

Thank you ladies, so much. For all the support. I love you all.
Its ok you know to talk about the situations you guys are having too, i wont be offended. I feel like i need to grieve, but at the same time....i need things to stay as they were. Thank you for everything. I ll be checking in time to time. xxxxx

I think it may be a bit before we're back to normal - I feel like we may be all grieving for you and bubs a little. I know we have nowhere near the heartache you have, but we are all so sad for you - I even told my husband and he was so sad for you. We dont want to go back to normal just yet - I think we need and want to move through this with you and support you! You're in our thoughts and prayers, Sal. ( The subject will change with time and when it feels more normal to chane, but for now our thread's job is loving on you and supporting you. What time will your procedure be tomorrow? We will be thinking of you and I personally will be praying for you & your OH if that's okay with you.

 

[Cilnia]

Well put Bump!

 

[Laura617]

Agree!

 

[Yumenoinu]

Agree bump!! yes even I told my DH and he was so sad for you Sally. I am still so sad for you. and I agree one hundred percent with what bump said, in time it'll change back but for right now you need all the support from us. we care about you so much! as I don't remember who said it but, all of you are the closest strangers and I care about every single one of you!

 

[Cilnia]

Please, if you feel the need to talk to us - do so! Love you babe!

 

[MrsKA]

Hang in there Sal

 

[katrus78]

I don't know if it's right to bring it up, but about two weeks ago my other forum friend from a Russian IVF site had a mmc at almost the same gestation, at 14 weeks. This was her 5th IVF attempt, and she said a while ago that it was their last as they can't afford any more. We were all in disbelief and shock when she told us about mmc. We begged her to try again, it was such a heartbreaking week. Finally, she said they will try again in six months or so. And than you shared with us about what happened. I cried my eyes out. I don't know why this stuff happens, especially this far along, it is so so so unfair! In failed IVF, they will look at the angel and tell them why it happened, if they chose to know. Not sure with natural pregnancy though. In any case, Sal, please hang in there for now, they will take your bubba out very soon, and you can start healing from this experience. If you feel like taking about it, please do.

 

[Yumenoinu]

hmmm, how does this sound ladies? To help cheer sally up, let's all post 2 pictures. 1 when you were just a baby. and 2 when you were a kid (10 and under). It'll be interesting to see us all as youngin's.

 

[sallyhansen76]

Thanks soo much again ladies, I really cant express how much you are all helping me and how much i care for everyone of you.
bump, my procedure is thursday so tomorrow. And they said they would call today to let me know what time..so i have no idea.

I am so unsure of what to do or how i should be acting. Is it ok to think of trying again? although im not sure emotionally im ready...but then again i feel it would be easier if i was again.
Is it ok to hate the situation? And envy those who are doing ok? I feel like a terrible person, but i just feel like somehow this is punishement for something and i HATE it.

And the worst is i cant help but feeling that somehow tomorrow they will stop the procedure to tell me a miracle has happened and his heart is beating again. I know its useless....i know it wont happen....but theres a very big part of me holding on to dear life to this...and no matter how i convince myself.....i cant let it go.....

 

[trying412011]

Naww sally darl I have my fingers crossed that his little heart will be beating and it was just a stupid tech person not knowing what they are doing, and it does not make u a bad person that ur still angry and hurt and nothing was ur fault ur not being punished for anything do not think like that. It's goin to take awhile and when u do try again it will be great but scary but dnt forgot to give it time let u and hubby grieve over this terrible loss. We r so sad for u sal u didn't deserve this at all, good luck with everything tomorrow ur in my thoughts

 

[Yumenoinu]

aw sally, yes all of those emotions are completely normal. you aren't a bad person for it. we all want our children, and we hate when it doesnt happen or if it falls apart. The feeling of trying again is normal too, and if that is what you want to do then you should! I had a wise person once tell me, "A miscarriage is your child's way of saying, I'm not ready to be in the world just yet, but I will be there soon, I promise" It didn't make sense to me when I first heard it but after awhile I completely understood it and believed in it. you will have your baby sal, and you have every right to grieve and go through a roller coaster of emotions.

 

[Cilnia]

Every feeling you are having is normal and you should let it all out! Don't keep anything in.

There was obviously something wrong with the baby, or it wouldn't have happened. Has nothing to do with punishment or anything! The baby wasn't healthy.... and like Yum said, not ready to be born.

If you feel like trying again, do it! If you don't know you could wait a month... or more. It's up to you and your OH, whatever feels good for you is the way to do it! Don't think if it's normal or not... everything is normal as long as you do it your way!

Thinking of you! Lots of hugs!

ps: i also have this hope you will let us know tomorrow a miracle had happened and the heart was beating. I'd like to think the doc got it wrong that day....

 

[Cilnia]

Ulgh... life is so unfair. My ex-sister in law gave birth yesterday to a baby boy. She's with the father now, but he left her when he found out she was preg. she was also thinking of abortion, a few times actually. She already went to the clinic and all.. and she's so not capable of caring for 3 young kids.. (she has 2 boys, my nephews). Plus she is super unhealthy. She's depressed and took Antidepressiva all pregnancy long, she smoked, barely ate something.... and still.. a healthy baby. i don't understand how life works.... it's so unfair. (like what happened to Sal) makes me sad!

Good luck tomorrow Sal hun.

 

[sallyhansen76]

Thanks hun. Right now i have that question too. How can lifebe so unfair. I guess we cant change it. Tomorrow is he day andim petrified. Scared this loss wi become more real....scred of something gong wrong..scared of feeling so much despair.......i ve got to say tho oh is being amazing. Hes not ready to try again but he said if i cat makke u a mmm right now, im going to work on making u my wife while we heal. im so glad i have hm through this. Hesvery goodto me.

 

[katrus78]

Sal, I wish you to be strong tomorrow. You are in my heart. Hope it doesn't hurt and you can start making ttc plans and think about the future after tomorrow. Sending you lots of love.

 

[MrsKA]

Sending much love to you from the other side of the world Sal ! hope everything goes smoothly so that you can start to process everything as best you can.

 

[Cilnia]

Feels weird changing the subject but I got to ask,,

Yum, how are you doing with your cycle?

 

[trying412011]

Good luck tomorrow Sally sending lots of love and thoughts ur way all the way from Aussie. Hope it goes well for u we will be thinking of u.

Still bfn for me 4 days late for witch

 

[Cilnia]

Sucks Trying.. didn't you perhaps O later?

I have a question girls..

In juli i'm going on a holiday with my OH. We're going by car 1500 km. By FF calculation i would get AF that week. As you see, i'm totally not happy with that. Happened 2 times before where i would go somewhere and right then - AF. This time though, i want to be able to swim and travelling with AF is not nice.

So my thing is.... should i take the risk of getting AF and still try next month (if this month isn't it) or should i take the birth control pill one month so i can skip the AF.