yum so sorry you have gout.
Hang tight there darling. Hope it gets better soon!!
Kat, im sorry its getting difficult too..
xx sending some hugs and hoping it goes by quickly
Ja, you are almost there, it is really amazing!!
You better post pics of your baby girl. And did u already mention the name you choose yet?
Afm, cd1. Af started but im happy. Now i can start a new cycle. however...bad news pretty sure wont be trying this cycle. Spend the day yesterday at the hospital with OH. he has some problems with his foot and a serious infection. They had to operate to take it out of his foot yesterday. Which means loss of walking for 3-6 months while it heals. And to prevent it from coming back, once its healed, they are going to do another big operation, to remove his metal plate in his foot, and cut off his heel to replaec it with new skin (and make it less protruding). Its scary, but it will help. which isnt the bad part, the bad is he obviously wont be able to work, and being taht he just started that job, he has no insurance, airgo no income, unless we are lucky and his job keeps him to do some of the job (what he can on crutchs). Which to be honest im not sure they will. What hotel wants a securite gaurd on crutches? doesnt look to ...intimidating.
Although all that is scary, what i am most worried about is something else. His drs needed to speak to me alone, and basically ask me to re-evaluate my relationship with him. They needed to clarify that for me it was never going to be a relationship where i would be taken care of. His chronic disease, for whatever reason they cant determine, affects parts of the brain that takes initiative, makes priorities, and remember important things, and makes decisions is in lack of better words, defective. In short he will always need me to take care of everything. Reminders, and literally doing a lot for him. making the decisions, always thinking for two. And perhaps now, physically he is 'ok' but they are unsure how long he will be able to walk, and soon perhaps be in a wheel chair. That holding down a job, would always be near impossiblefor him with the countless dr appointments and constant changing of health issues.
I love him, without a doubt, and i do question if i should leave him. But i have often come here to un-load because i feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders, especially in our couple, and to have someone point blank tell me, this is how its going to be ...forever. Even worst with a baby. I just really feel uncertain of how happy i will be in my future. Im willing to die for him honestly, i love him to death. Its just after 10-15 years lets say, how will i not feel like the relationship is one sided and not be frustrated? And can i blame him? if its not his fault.
Yesterday he apologized for making me fall in love with him. And it broke my heart that he would apologize for such a thing....
So i reassured him that the bad baggage never made a person who they were, and that i was in this with him. That he had more good that bad and that is would make up for it. All i wanted was his happiness.
And somehow i feel guilty because i feel like i just gave up mine....whats wrong with me?
for you girls for the next cycle!
