LTTTC and feeling alone... lets get together.

[BobDog]

Me me me!! I would love to join another thread where I can scream and shout and moan when I need to!

I know a lot of you on here, but for those that don't know me we have been TTC for 27months with one miscarriage last September. All tests come back fine so in the ever so annoying 'unexplained' category. However waiting for an appointment with specialist to confirm hypospermia is the issues...knowing the NHS its going to be September before we get one!

I kept quiet about our IF for a very long time, and didn't post on BnB for a very long time because all the people I had made friends with were moving over to first and second trimester! But I finally started posting in here, came out to our friends and family and started a blog to document the whole thing, and since doing so my outlook on it has gotten ever so slightly brighter, but I would say that as I'm currently 2dpo and still in the stage of hopeful denial! In about 12 days I'll need you ladies to talk me down off the ledge!

i'll be there while you're on that ledge. but i'll not be telling you i see lines if i don't. (that's on thing that PEEEEE's me right off!! people who see lines when there aren't any!! after so long it get's to much!) .

PLEASE DON'T GO INTO THE TTW FORUM!! i've done that so many times and it's just PURE CRAZINESS!! EVERY symptom is a sign of PG!!! you got a sniffle... your PG, you have a twitchy eye... your PG, and if you have ANY sort of cramp or twinge you are DEFFO PREGGO!!! it's just crazy!

 

[No Doubt]

OMG hate that about the tww forum...and the ttc forum to be honest! I only went in the tww forum last month cause I took a test close to when af was due and wanted to have some drinks. A stupid line showed up but was extremely faint and considering I've never had any kind of a line I wanted to know if it was bfp or evap. I will NEVER make that mistake again...lol. I'll just hold my pee from now on and skip the drink...lol.

 

[sedgeez]

I feel lonely too. I haven't talked to anyone in my "real life" about what we are going through lately, we may end up using donor sperm and don't want everyone to know. So, it's so difficult to vent about how we're actually sterile right now, with a 0% chance of pregnancy, and I feel like my marriage is starting to suffer now too. I think we are going to start counseling, I feel like a wreck.

Since we found out our diagnosis, we have heard of 22 pregnancy announcements from our friends (close and distant, including cousins.) I just got hit with two this weekend and two births last week.

I feel like I am drowning.

i havent told my family about anything tbh, theres only a few friends that know, and they already have kids (quite easily i might add), so its nice that people understand on here

 

[StephieB]

Oh no I definitely don't test unless AF has definitely gone AWOL! I spent too many months when we first started ttc holding tests up to the light and trying to find something that wasn't there, now I don't bother!

Symptom spotting is an evil game aswell, I'm quite good in a tww because I'm too busy enjoying the relief that ovulation week is over

We should make sort of contract for people ltttc who want to join.

1. I solemly swear to not see lines where there are lines, its cruel and mean
2. During the tww I will not squeeze my boobs or spend every waking minute with my finger up my yahoo checking my cervix. In the event of pregnancy, it won't go away simply because I missed the symptom the second it appears!
3. Under no circumstances will I encourage people to test at 4, 5 or 6 dpo because they have an itchy arm pit. Its almost physically impossible to get a bfp that early.
4. I will not ask people to view my chart at 8dpo to see if they can predict if I'm growing something or not.
5. Whilst going through this infertility journey I will not be afraid to cry, ask for advice or offer a shoulder to cry on.
6. I WILL NOT let this beat me.

 

[smallstar]

Oh no I definitely don't test unless AF has definitely gone AWOL! I spent too many months when we first started ttc holding tests up to the light and trying to find something that wasn't there, now I don't bother!

Symptom spotting is an evil game aswell, I'm quite good in a tww because I'm too busy enjoying the relief that ovulation week is over

We should make sort of contract for people ltttc who want to join.

1. I solemly swear to not see lines where there are lines, its cruel and mean
2. During the tww I will not squeeze my boobs or spend every waking minute with my finger up my yahoo checking my cervix. In the event of pregnancy, it won't go away simply because I missed the symptom the second it appears!
3. Under no circumstances will I encourage people to test at 4, 5 or 6 dpo because they have an itchy arm pit. Its almost physically impossible to get a bfp that early.
4. I will not ask people to view my chart at 8dpo to see if they can predict if I'm growing something or not.
5. Whilst going through this infertility journey I will not be afraid to cry, ask for advice or offer a shoulder to cry on.
6. I WILL NOT let this beat me.

Where do i sign!?!

 

[sedgeez]

Oh no I definitely don't test unless AF has definitely gone AWOL! I spent too many months when we first started ttc holding tests up to the light and trying to find something that wasn't there, now I don't bother!

Symptom spotting is an evil game aswell, I'm quite good in a tww because I'm too busy enjoying the relief that ovulation week is over

We should make sort of contract for people ltttc who want to join.

1. I solemly swear to not see lines where there are lines, its cruel and mean
2. During the tww I will not squeeze my boobs or spend every waking minute with my finger up my yahoo checking my cervix. In the event of pregnancy, it won't go away simply because I missed the symptom the second it appears!
3. Under no circumstances will I encourage people to test at 4, 5 or 6 dpo because they have an itchy arm pit. Its almost physically impossible to get a bfp that early.
4. I will not ask people to view my chart at 8dpo to see if they can predict if I'm growing something or not.
5. Whilst going through this infertility journey I will not be afraid to cry, ask for advice or offer a shoulder to cry on.
6. I WILL NOT let this beat me.

sounds like a plan

 

[shiara]

well..now we have a plan..and it sounds real
im in it!

 

[uwa_amanda]

Oh no I definitely don't test unless AF has definitely gone AWOL! I spent too many months when we first started ttc holding tests up to the light and trying to find something that wasn't there, now I don't bother!

Symptom spotting is an evil game aswell, I'm quite good in a tww because I'm too busy enjoying the relief that ovulation week is over

We should make sort of contract for people ltttc who want to join.

1. I solemly swear to not see lines where there are lines, its cruel and mean
2. During the tww I will not squeeze my boobs or spend every waking minute with my finger up my yahoo checking my cervix. In the event of pregnancy, it won't go away simply because I missed the symptom the second it appears!
3. Under no circumstances will I encourage people to test at 4, 5 or 6 dpo because they have an itchy arm pit. Its almost physically impossible to get a bfp that early.
4. I will not ask people to view my chart at 8dpo to see if they can predict if I'm growing something or not.
5. Whilst going through this infertility journey I will not be afraid to cry, ask for advice or offer a shoulder to cry on.
6. I WILL NOT let this beat me.

Holy cow! Where do I sign???

 

[No Doubt]

Ditto...no more of that, I solemnly swear...lol!

OAN, what do you ladies do every months? Meds, opks, charts, etc?

 

[StephieB]

I think everyone needs a massive his today

I am on my second round of clomid and use OPKs. We've tried softcups for the first time this cycle and also use conceive plus. We've been ttc for an eternity, but this month is my very first monthof charting! Its been useful as it confirmed I ovulate the day after +opk like I assumed.

Also take folic acid every morning.

 

[sedgeez]

i take folid acid every morning too
and ive not started charting yet as i thought id get abit obsessed
but ive decided that im going to start just to make sure im Oing properly and stuff. my gp told me to BD every 2 days and im sure to catch my fertile window, and no luck yet so i think charting would definitely help me, so any tips welcome

it doesnt help that my gp has gone off on Maternity leave (the irony), and all the other docs are idiots there

 

[No Doubt]

Yay for idiot docs...that's all there are it seems like anymore. Pay me the big bucks do never have an answer.

I did about 9 rounds of clomid, used opks, Preseed, charting, iui a couple times, and now while on my doc and med hiatus just b6. Saw another thread about it and thought I'd try it. I quit charting when I took my break, but seeing how me and the hubbs are seriously cracking down the next few cycles to get ready I'm charting these few day around O to make sure things are still going ok. But probably won't chart again until the cycle before we go back to the doctor. I thought about softcups...still might try those while doing it the old fashion way.

Charting can be obsessive, especially for me cause I use FF so I can put all my symptoms in there...goody goody...not so much. So I would just say try not to let it take over cause it did with me. Also just make sure it's first when you wake up in the morning after at least 3 hours of sleep and take it the same time every morning. Other than that, not much to it. A biphasic pattern (low temps before O, high after) is pretty good indicator things are working like they should. GL with that!

 

[sedgeez]

Yay for idiot docs...that's all there are it seems like anymore. Pay me the big bucks do never have an answer.

I did about 9 rounds of clomid, used opks, Preseed, charting, iui a couple times, and now while on my doc and med hiatus just b6. Saw another thread about it and thought I'd try it. I quit charting when I took my break, but seeing how me and the hubbs are seriously cracking down the next few cycles to get ready I'm charting these few day around O to make sure things are still going ok. But probably won't chart again until the cycle before we go back to the doctor. I thought about softcups...still might try those while doing it the old fashion way.

Charting can be obsessive, especially for me cause I use FF so I can put all my symptoms in there...goody goody...not so much. So I would just say try not to let it take over cause it did with me. Also just make sure it's first when you wake up in the morning after at least 3 hours of sleep and take it the same time every morning. Other than that, not much to it. A biphasic pattern (low temps before O, high after) is pretty good indicator things are working like they should. GL with that!

thank you

im hoping to not let it get obsessive. but its always hard really, these days its all i think about. ive heard about softcups, do they do them in the uk?

 

[No Doubt]

I think so from what others that live over there say, but I'm honestly not sure. I'm in America.

 

[wannabemummyb]

We should make sort of contract for people ltttc who want to join.

1. I solemly swear to not see lines where there are lines, its cruel and mean
2. During the tww I will not squeeze my boobs or spend every waking minute with my finger up my yahoo checking my cervix. In the event of pregnancy, it won't go away simply because I missed the symptom the second it appears!
3. Under no circumstances will I encourage people to test at 4, 5 or 6 dpo because they have an itchy arm pit. Its almost physically impossible to get a bfp that early.
4. I will not ask people to view my chart at 8dpo to see if they can predict if I'm growing something or not.
5. Whilst going through this infertility journey I will not be afraid to cry, ask for advice or offer a shoulder to cry on.
6. I WILL NOT let this beat me.

:wave: hey Stephie?

I solemnly swear to abide by the rules!

Wowser ladies this thread has taken off.

I take folic acid every day (prescribed by my GP), metformin for IR and PCOS. Don't chart at more, have just purchased duo fertility.....thought it was worth a try!

Thanks for your comments yesterday ladies.....had a really low weekend and not even ltttc related.....long story short my nan decided not to ome to our wedding because i forgot to buy her a birthday card!!

DF has started getting a little stressed that its taking so long to get a bfp! Which just makes it worse, since its my fault!

My tww consists of symptom spotting af......in the hope it win't be another 100+ day cycle

Hope yoy are all well today?!

 

[BobDog]

Yikes, you're nan, said that? seems a little over the top. but i'm sure you are dealing with it.

sometimes men have to take time to process things, and you can't blame yourself. you didn't choose to have PCOS and all that comes with it. if it was a case of choice then no-one would have it.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Yikes, you're nan, said that? seems a little over the top. but i'm sure you are dealing with it.

sometimes men have to take time to process things, and you can't blame yourself. you didn't choose to have PCOS and all that comes with it. if it was a case of choice then no-one would have it.

There isn't a great deal I can do about my nan.....this is kinda the last straw for me, shes an alcoholic and has caused me much stress, hurt and pain in the last five years! I kind of feel like she's made her choice this time and she wants out of my life! It hurts but ultimately it will hurt her more as she will miss out so muc!

Men do take a while to process...you are roght! I think dfor me its tough because oh already has a kid with his irst wife!

How are you all today?

 

[sedgeez]

Yikes, you're nan, said that? seems a little over the top. but i'm sure you are dealing with it.

sometimes men have to take time to process things, and you can't blame yourself. you didn't choose to have PCOS and all that comes with it. if it was a case of choice then no-one would have it.

There isn't a great deal I can do about my nan.....this is kinda the last straw for me, shes an alcoholic and has caused me much stress, hurt and pain in the last five years! I kind of feel like she's made her choice this time and she wants out of my life! It hurts but ultimately it will hurt her more as she will miss out so muc!

Men do take a while to process...you are roght! I think dfor me its tough because oh already has a kid with his irst wife!

How are you all today?

i know its abit different but my brothers an alcoholic, and i no longer speak to him with all the pain and stress hes caused me and the rest of my family. its sad really but theres only so much you can tolerate

 

[wannabemummyb]

Yikes, you're nan, said that? seems a little over the top. but i'm sure you are dealing with it.

sometimes men have to take time to process things, and you can't blame yourself. you didn't choose to have PCOS and all that comes with it. if it was a case of choice then no-one would have it.

There isn't a great deal I can do about my nan.....this is kinda the last straw for me, shes an alcoholic and has caused me much stress, hurt and pain in the last five years! I kind of feel like she's made her choice this time and she wants out of my life! It hurts but ultimately it will hurt her more as she will miss out so muc!

Men do take a while to process...you are roght! I think dfor me its tough because oh already has a kid with his irst wife!

How are you all today?

i know its abit different but my brothers an alcoholic, and i no longer speak to him with all the pain and stress hes caused me and the rest of my family. its sad really but theres only so much you can tolerate

I agree.....i'm also the child of an alcoholic...... Growing up in that environment destroyed my confidence! Or that could have just been my mum (the alcie) lol

 

[No Doubt]

That sucks wannabe. Hopefully for her sake she'll come around cause like you said she'll miss out...not you. And she's on the down slope of life. She should be cherishing these years with her family not behaving this way. But I know where you are coming from. My family doesn't speak to me...their choice, because there lives are in a bad place and I'm not gonna be their punching bag. So if they can't take their anger out on me, then they want nothing to do with me. Have it your way is what I say, cause they will miss out on holding her grandchild and his niece/nephew. I'll be there everyday for it. My own skipped out on walking me down the isle two weeks before my wedding with some bullshit excuse. My husband was pissed because I wad hurt, but I told him not to worry about it cause karma's a bitch. My wedding was 2 days before thanksgiving, so thanksgiving wad at our place. My brother ended up being 5 hours away with people he didn't like and that don't like him, and couldn't none of them cook. His car was broken so when he came to his senses he couldn't even come if he wanted. He could have been with family eating food that I prepared out of love.

So be mad. I know it hurts right now but your wedding will be beautiful and one of the best days of your life...regardless who is there!