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Male Factor Roll Call

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hehe its so hard I bet to stay strong! haha googleholic that's a good en! good luck peartree!!! :)
 
Hi aclio, maybe we will be icsi partners, lets hope so! DH today is really down, i think the reality of the situation has hit him. We keep looking to each other to make each other feel better and its not working. Today it all seems a bit surreal, i am not so emotional today just keep reminding myself this IS actually happening to us, i wonder how long this calm will last. I havent thought about acupuncture because we are doing our ICSI privately (only way in australia) and i dont even know where we are going to get the money for it from, especially not in 7 weeks time... so i wont be spending any extra on alternative therapies :nope:
 
actually just a quick question to put out there.... Do you guys still keep trying for a natural even though you know its not going to happen? Its just you hear stories all the time.... Does anyone get pregnant with such a low count?
 
We kept trying, even right up to the cycle during down regulation. There was always some hope, because as everyone keeps saying - it only takes one. Just that the odds of that ONE making it there is slim.

I think for DH, it helped that we didn't give up hope. If we gave up hope of doing it naturally, I felt that it was like we were giving up on him. So mentally for him, it was good to continue as we did.
 
Gracy 004 - After we found out the car ride home was silent. We got home and both broke down on each other. DH had a chat with his dad which I think helped and I spoke with my dad the following day. I told my dad that DH thought I'd be better off with someone else and that he wouldn't blame me if I wanted to leave him. My dad was a really good shoulder to cry on he said if I need to let some anger out or just have a cry then he was there for me. He said DH would be having a huge confidence knock and I would have to be the strong one till he got his head round it all. We are still trying naturally but it did take a few days for DH to want to.
 
I'm sorry aclio, when did you find out? Dh is the same - he really has had the wind knocked out of him and he said a lot of things too, like am i gonna leave him and he feels responsible for causing me all this pain. man what a nightmare. I think you are right though, your dads advice is good, i will have to try and be the strong one for now (even though i am devastated), because when we start taking all these drugs for the icsi i will want him to be strong for me. It helps to write on here with people that really understand.
 
I guess I'm lucky in the way that the NHS over here I get 1 free shot at ICSI. I'm just keeping everything crossed that it works though. It's such a huge thing to go through. the ladies on here who have been through ICSI and IVF several times deserve medals.
 
I think its so hard for both parties really. For us ladies we're having to have the procedures and its not nice. For our OH's they have all that upset, guilt frustration etc. My OH took it incredibly well although he doesn't like to discuss things and is a bit of an ostrich for that!! lol He felt better when he knew there was something we could do and that we could move forward. I think once we all get our baby then everything falls into the background and we and OH's will forget about all the heartache and upset.

BFP's to everyone soon!!!! :) xx
 
Well put MummyIwanabe
DH felt better after he read about ICSI and there was an option.

WE WILL GET OUR BFP LADIES XXXXXXX
 
We found out in February and it totally took us by surprise since I'd fallen pregnant first month ttc last May. Whilst the FS announced the news, I felt devastated for OH, but I think we were both in shock and took the news very pragmatically, asking a lot of questions etc... When we got in the car, we somehow got straight to the point and both agreed that we would want to do ICSI just because we both couldn't cope with the regrets if we didn't. I felt so reassured that that's what he wanted too. We separated after that as we had to go back to work and I broke down that afternoon. It really hit me then and I couldn't stop crying. I texted him right away to let him know that we were in it together, because I really didn't want him to think for a second that I considered it his problem rather than ours. I guess it is the reassurance I would have wanted if it had been the other way around. It didn't help that we found out a week before our baby would have been due. That evening, my OH was acting as if it was a totally normal day, but he did tell me that it would take him some time for the news to sink in. I did find it a bit frustrating as my way of dealing with it and getting some reassurance was to discuss how we felt about it, but I accepted that this is exactly what would make him anxious, so instead, I discussed it with close friends and came here! He didn't tell anyone and it was clear he had no intention to. He finally did last week as he spent time with a close friend of his who went through IVF with his wife and I think it really helped him.

I don't think he felt less of a man or that he was letting me down, but I think it made it harder for him to grieve our loss. At times, I had some worries that he wasn't as much into ttc or icsi as I was because of his reluctancy to discuss it, but his actions have proven to me that he does care very much. He has made a genuine effort to cut down on alcohol (the only thing he could really do as he lives a very healthy lifestyle already), and even though I didn't make a fuss, he takes the vitamins have got him religiously. This week-end, I decided it was time to bring the subject up again and I was so pleased how he responded. He wrote down on his diary when he needed to do his second SA and the date we see the consultant again, and he agreed to go ahead with icsi in May/June, even though he mentioned a couple of weeks ago that he thought we should wait until after September (which I didn't agree with for various reasons and I started feeling a bit nervous that this suggestion might mean he was so sure about it after all). I went over what the full procedure involved and I was pleased that he was genuinely paying attention, asking questions and telling me that he would be there for me.

I think it took him all this time for the reality to really sink it, ie. about 4 weeks more than me :laugh2: but I am really grateful for his total support for something that I know is a lot more distressing in itself for him than it is for me.

As for ttc, considering I did manage to fall pregnant once, we know that it is technically possible, even if against all odds so are continuing to do so and hoping it will happen naturally. In a way, it is easier to ttc knowing that the chances are low as you have less expectations to get a bfp, but at the same time, each time AF shows is a reminder of the situation.
 
FBbaby - It's such a roller coaster we have to deal with. It's good that your DH is getting his head round it all now. Is it just DH low count thats the problem?
 
It certainly is but like all challenges, it certainly makes you stronger. OH and I have been together for 15 months only, but we have already gone through together more than some do in a decade!

OH count was low, but not drastically at 18mil, and motility was okay at 65% but morphology is the concern at 4%. Nothing wrong has been identified with me but for my old age (39yo)! Consultant said it isn't impossible to fall pg (easy to say since it did happen!) but could take quite some time, and considering my age, time we don't have, hence recommending icsi and us still hoping each month that defeated the odds :laugh2:
 
Hi ladies, today is the third day since we found out DH is infertile. The incredibly frustrating thing about today is that i am having the most obvious ovulation ever :growlmad: A tonne of ewcm, much more than ever before and i scanned myself (work as a sonographer so cant help it!), and i have a big fat juicy 2.3 cm follicle on the right ovary, Damn it! just sitting there wasted.Also i only had a HSG 1 week ago so this would have been the best month to go for it after a good flush out. Oh well i guess it cant hurt to have a :sex: but with motitily and morpholgy of 2% and a count of 5 million, who am i kidding:growlmad: :growlmad::growlmad:A good ol :sex:might make us feel a bit happier though, we have been so down since the news, i think we need a bit of quality time together. Sorry just had to get that off my chest
 
Yea we keep plodding away as well.

I have a study with all the stats for getting prego natuarally with low counts that I must post here like I said I would...tomorrow...completely forgot. It does give one some hope! Some....be back tomorrow! I am going to sleep! Hugs to all of us dealing with male factor.
 
FBbaby - don't be too disheartened with the morphology - see blog below by a NY fertility specialist. It's just another take on things.

Sperm morphology mythology
 
We found out last month that DH has 4% morphology. We were devastated as the RE acted like our only chance was IVF (which DH isn't ok with). We were devastated. I did find that article above to be helpful, but why is this area so misunderstood? Been searching for success stories without IVF ever since.
 
I too read that article, it makes you think that maybe 2% isnt so bad after all but every consultant I've spoken to says it's not good. I have no idea whether they were really picky with my OH's sample and that made it a lower result.

Hopesprings - there is success stories they just sometimes take a while to happen! :) xx
 
hopesprings - our FS was terrible with my DH he basically told me its ICSI, doner or adoption. He acted like DH was not in the room. DH was devastated when we got home. He's more positive now though cos he'd read up on everything and he realises its more common than he thought
 
Do none of your DH's try Clomid?
We were told by our male infertility specialist to for DH to take 25 mg of clomid every single day and if I don't get pregnant in 6 months, then move on to ICSI. I'm trying to be hopeful...but it's so hard....
 
What does clomid do for men? That is very interesting.

My DH has high shifts from 0M to 13.6M Mobile Sperm and Motility from 5% to 33%. He's all over the place :shrug: We only had 2 SA's that showed morphology and they were both 0% normal. Our RE (reproductive endo) told us last year that we have a chance with IUI, but after reading some of your's SA results and that you are going to ISCI makes me wonder :shrug:

We moved so I have to go to a new doctor which I have an appointment with on April 9. I had my DH start taking Fertiliaid for Men at the end of February so I hope it will help his stuff :blush:

Good luck ladies!!!
 
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