March/April BFP's who's going for it!! NEW LADIES COME JOIN IN!!

[BayBeeEm]

Sweetz- i am sorry!!! that def sucks...me and my dh went through a period like that and finally we figured out that we have to trust eachother and know that we need time away from eachother to love eachother more if that makes sense. i will admit that i get a little jealous when he hangs out with his friends bc i feel like he will go out with them but not me and i wouldnt bother me as much if i got more of a notice than that day bc then i could make plans with my friends but when it is last minute they are usually busy. i know you already laid it out to him what has to change but he has to want to change or nothing will happen. my dh learned that the hard way after me and the kids left for about a month, he still had the kids 2-3 nights a week, but in the end he told me that he just could not be with out me. i of course went back to him because i never wanted to leave in the first place but i knew if i stayed and forced him to be with me then i would have ended for ever.

Never- my dr did not call today....grrrr... i will call AGAIn in the morning but i already know that the number should be pretty much zero bc of the amount of blood i passed and clots also i did take my last hpt and it was bfn. we will try again!!! i really dont want to be pregnant next summer but then again i rather be the pregnant lady at the pool rather than the lady with 4 kids and lots of weight to show for them lol...

Krissy, you appear to be a very knowledgeable women. Men are indeed difficult to reach. Unlike many women, you sit us down, you talk to us, we reflect. I find with men, welll some, that you have to be a bit drastic for them to understand. I believe it all stems from familiarity and getting extra comfortable. I know I have to poke and prod my husband every once in a while. Lol

 

[Sweetz33]

With mine...I need to be beyond drastic bc well he is completely oblivious...

 

[armymama2012]

Well I might be sitting on this comfy leather chair for another 3 hours so please keep writing. Why you ask would I be here for 3 hours? Because my knees are killing me! They hurt even with no pressure on them. This pain started about 35 minutes ago. It was torture just going down the stairs to the computer. Ok, enough about my knees, here are my other symptoms: lots of gas, hot flashes, sweating more easily, headaches, backache, terrible achy knees, pale yellow CM, and frequent urination.

Sweetz, I left my husband for 2 days when our son was 2 months old. I did it because he had playfully (I didn't know it was a joke) punched me in the chest when I questioned his manliness. A week later I left to go an hour away to a friend's house while he was at work. For the first 24 hours I refused to answer the phone to anyone but my mom. She and my dad and brother came to stay with me. They were furious. When I heard my husband crying on the phone on the second day I decided to go back. My parents drove me to the meet-up point and they both let their anger out on my husband. I felt horrible. They wanted me to get a separation but we had only been married for 7 months so I wanted to work it out. Things got better and now he makes sure I understand when he is joking. Right now we are on a really rough patch in our marriage for 2 reasons. Reason 1: The only attention I get from him is either telling me to do something or discussing what kind of BD we are going to do. and 2. He wants me to spend every waking moment cleaning while he sits on his ass, plays video games, and then yells at me (when I'm usually doing dishes) because our 15 month old daughter either wants his attention or has put something nasty in her mouth. He refuses to do dishes, fold laundry, or change diapers.

 

[Sweetz33]

You guys are right, I should discuss it with my doctor and explain that situation. It isn't like vacation! We'd be moving. Thanks!
Sweetz, sorry honey but I don't know if acetaminophen would touch the pain

I just took 2 tylenol with a reglan...hopefully that will ease the pain a little and simmer down the tummy so I can get some food in before my next dose of antibiotics

 

[nevergivingup]

Hi ladies,

Ok so Sweetz, I agree with the girls talk to your DH BUT it has to be something you and your DH agree on Bc you have to live with him, and you don't want him blaming you for anything, even though I agree with Bay,alittle minime would def give you something to do while he's at work, and you would love it!!

Sweetz: Sorry you're going through so much I def hope you find peace within your marriage. Only you know your DH and what you loved about him and what you can't stand about him and sometimes talking to friends will only make you see the things that you don't like about him which was probaly obvious from the beginning. I learned from my experience talking to my friends made me hate my DH even more and in my heart I knew I loved him but Bc I was acting out he acted out. Again it's your life and your DH not your friends.

Jenelleybean: I buy watermelon everyday but I usually stay away from the rind don't know why didn't think we was suppose to it eat, but now I know I can. I always eat a whole watermelon by myself and I always wanted to blend it up in the blender but kept contemplating, but I def will now ESP.since it's sooo healthy. THANKS for that Insite!! Also I live veggies too so much so when I read your comment about cucumbers I ran to the store and bought me only one Bc I didn't know how my taste buds was going to like it and of course I still love it with my vinegar of course. I can imagine your how broad your knowledge is on all the different fruit and Veggies being a vegan. So def go you!!

BayBeeEm: Don't worry just test your little heart out while waiting...and of course pass the time with us!!! Can't wait!!

Well ladies excuse if I have any typos but it's def pass my bed time. Later ladies!!

 

[Sweetz33]

I understand what your saying Never, I really do. But the way he is acting brings me back to the first red flag we had when we first started dating. He insulted me over the phone so I hung up on him. I refused to answer it when he called back. Well, I landed up falling asleep and didn't hear the phone. Was woken up 3 hours later by phone ringing. It was him and this was his response...

"When I call you pick up the *bleeping* phone. I don't care if you're pissing, sh*tt*n, puking I don't give a f*ck, you pick up the GD phone." Then I hung up on him again.

We worked together and when I went to work the next day the desk was broken, later found out that he took one of the drawers out and smashed it on the wall when I hung up on him the 2nd time. I also found out that night he was standing outside my apartment to make sure I was there...kinda creepy. I forgave him, but he is going down that same path again. It always creeps back....the rage.

Also found out that he cheated on me a few months back and a few weeks ago....so it is more then just friends saying things. He doesn't know that I know but I caught him...It is more like the views and thoughts were there, but they just solidified it. I'm waaayyy too forgiving and in the end I end up with nothing...materialistic and emotionally. I can't go through that again....

Sorry to just pour it all out there....I'm just so hurt right now that I am trying to keep it together for the baby's sake at this point. Since he/she is my concern right now, I have to evaluate my life and make sure this is what I want the new baby around. Honestly, his rage is something I do not want this new baby to deal with as I have seen what it has done to my other child. Although I see your point Never, this is why I am the way I am...

 

[armymama2012]

The attitude, rage, and language is what I am currently dealing with (for the past 3 months) over the phone thing. If I don't answer my phone not only do I get yelled at as soon as he gets home but I get angry emails, voice messages, and emails about answering my phone.

 

[janelleybean]

Hey Sweetz- I've been married to my husband for 2 years, but we've been together almost 8. If there is anything I've learn about relationships I learned it from his mother. She is a social worker and took a lot of psychology classes in college. ANYWAYS, the best advice she gave me was when you are discussing your situation with whoever you should use phrases like "I feel" rather than "I think". When you use phrases like "I think" it comes off more as an attack on someone. The other thing I've learned with my husband is to turn the tables slightly. Tell them how you feel about your situation and then ask him how it makes him feel rather than saying, "What do you think about that" or "how does that sound" or giving him an ultimatum. When ever I feel upset about something I try to discuss it with my husband after I've thought about it awhile. I've learned if I open my mouth before I think, I end up saying the wrong things. That whole sitting in a room ignoring your husband thinking he'll really learn his lesson, doesn't work. They rarely thinking about what they've done wrong when they are alone. They just think about what a bitch you're being.(Not saying you're doing this)

I'm not saying this is going to work for you, but it's worked for me and because of it, we rarely fight, and when we do it's short lived and we work through it. If there is anything a marriage really needs it's communication. The whole "my way or the highway" wont solves anything, it will just make your situation worse.

This is an off subject, but I totally want to do this. I read something about writing love letters to each other--not tell each other what you wrote, you put it into a box with a bottle of wine. You nail the box shut and save it for when you are REALLY in a rut. You open the box, pour yourselves a glass of wine and read each others letters and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

Maybe you can write your husband a letter and tell him how you're really feeling. I hope it gets better for you and I don't want to come off as someone who is lecturing, but I just wanted to share what has worked for me.

Never- I'm not a vegan, though I probably could be. I HATE CHEESE. Any and all cheese makes me gag. I'm not really a big fan of dairy, though I do enjoy cooking/baking with it. I've learned a lot about veggies and fruits this past year. Do you like blueberries and strawberries? They are really good for you as well, FULL of antioxidants. Since I've changed my eating habits and really researched I've lost 30 lbs and I feel amazing. Even though I'm 3 lbs from a "normal" healthy weight, I don't feel over weight at all. If you ever have any questions, I'd love to answer them for you.

 

[Sweetz33]

I will go about a week or two, sometimes even a month...then BAM it's back. Like today he eased up a bit, but that is only because about an hour after I got home from having lunch with my friend I was doubled over in pain crying. It takes either me in severe pain or getting extremely pissed off...I need him to ease up and be there for me everyday not just those times. *sigh*

 

[Sweetz33]

Jane...I try the whole step back and think about stuff before saying it, but he will get in my face and demand an answer. I have tried the romance and love letters...it just doesn't work. It makes me sad...but I have told him if we can't fix this soon we are just going to get worse and he says it is my fault things arent working. Nothing is his fault and he's never wrong. I'm sorry to be just a downer, i'm just in physical pain & emotional pain right now.

 

[armymama2012]

Wow, we really should have discussed this before marrying twins! I swear our DH's are twins in attitude and everything!

 

[janelleybean]

Well, it's not right for him to be putting you down all the time. It takes two for a relationship to work. Let me get this straight, he cheated on you and you know, but he doesn't know that you know. Is that right? If so, that would make a lot of sense as to why he doesn't want you going out and he wants to keep tabs on you at all times. He doesn't trust you because he was unfaithful. That is a natural reaction.

You should ask him, "what matters more to you, us staying together or my happiness?" depending on how he answers this should help you with your final decision. Either way, tell him you FEEL this relationship is on a quick downward spiral because of the way he treats you. He can say it's all your fault the relationship isn't working, but all that matters is you KNOW that's not true. Don't let him belittle you.

You're not a downer at all. I just worry about you, even though I've just met you.

 

[Sweetz33]

Who knows Army....I'm gunna call it a night bc I just want this day over....started off great and ending like poop.... all you ladies in here. Without y'all I surely would of lost my mind by now...

 

[Sweetz33]

You have it right Jane. And I have asked him that and he said my happiness...but in the same breath yells at me saying "Obviously I don't make you happy" then pouts...it's like a flipping game to him...ugh....I need to just go to bed....

 

[nevergivingup]

Awww Sorry Sweetz I wish I could give you a huh, what works for some like me may not work for you n your DH. Sorry ma'am, Goodnite, hope your day is better 2morrow!

Jenelleybean...sorry my stupid phone did auto correct it was suppose to say a vegetarian. I hate Blueberries, I tried them and o my I couldnt stomach them. Strawberries are ok accept I don't know if I'll get a sweet batch so I just don't buy them. I'm always a stickler for weight loss, b4 my wedding in 4months I lost 35lbs, I was really on a crash diet but it worked for the right reason, and now all I want to be is smaller again. I used to eat only fruit and veggies didn't know really what good they were for me but I knew they had to be good for my body. I will def have some questions for you. Thanks for helping!!

 

[AngelSerenity]

Morning ladies, well I'm officially in the 2WW . I'm really going to try and forget about things this cycle so I may not be on as much in my attempt to de-stress . I got my hopes up too much last cycle and symptom spotted like crazy so I'm going to try and chill a bit more this month. What will be and all that, it is only my second cycle TTC after my 5th MC and as much as I want to be positive it is difficult. Anyways, we did get plenty of in but possibly not on the day of ovulation as my DH was knackered bless him . So I'm just hoping those were waiting to pounce from the nooky the day before.

Never... glad you're keeping well and don't worry I'll still be on here, just perhaps not 4 or 5 times a day checking threads .

Sweetz... I really hope you can make a decision about your way forward soon. It's easy for me to say leave as he sounds a right pig but we all know it is harder when you are in that situation and you really love somebody. My DH has some issues (don't they all) and we would have a bad arguement about once a month and in those heated moments our language and offences are just as bad as each other. He has never been violent and any whiff of it or him becoming an alcoholic, he likes his drink, and I'm out of there as I cannot risk bringing up my 21month old son around that.

I think that is just what you need to concentrate on, is this an environment you are comfortable continuing with and possibly bringing a child up around? You sound like such a nice gentile person and you DESERVE to be happy and comfortable with whoever you are with. If he has anger management issues, or vents as his way of dealing with past issues/experiences all I can say is from experience of previous relationships it will not change. Just a good day here and there which you hang on to.

Would he be up for counselling at all? If he is a thick thrane male probably not but if you are not getting through to him how his behaviour is affecting you, and your baby, perhaps the penny will drop if somebody else tells him to wise up?

Armymama... the same advice goes for you honey .

I may leave my DH in the future for similar reasons but for the present time we are fairly good. I just know once my son came along the goalposts changed and I will not and cannot put my child through similar. It is the old cliche but the children do become number one and I want my child to grow up loved and in a secure environment so they will hopefully become a well-rounded person, not one exposed to hatred, constant arguments, alcohol and all that crap.


all, men really such a different species!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[armymama2012]

If these achy legs and hot flashes along with insomnia are not because of pregnancy then I am going to scream! Only got 45 minutes of sleep before my daughter woke up but will hopefully be going back to bed in 45 minutes. Decided to take my first test on Monday.

 

[lisalee1]

Krissy, I can totally understand you not being into baby shows at the moment. When I was planning my wedding, I used to watch Bridezilla all the time. Since I got married, I have not watched ONE EPISODE!

And that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"- Really? Did they really have no clues? Especially those who had been pregnant before? Seems strange. But I still like the show.

Never- I wear disposable contacts b/c I need my eyes to breathe at night. So no overnights for me. How are you feeling today?

Armymama & Sweetz- I'm very sorry to hear about your DH situations. But I know ultimately, you have to make the best decision for your children. You really don't want your kids growing up in a situation where they feel scared or nervous all the time. I hope that you find a resolution- counseling or whatever else it takes. I know it will be a hard decision but it's a decision that has to be made.

Janelly- You give wonderful advice!!!! Are you sure you're not a psychologist too? If not, you need to get in school now and become one!!!!

Hopestruck- Enjoy your trip this weekend! Sounds like it will be so much fun!

BayBeeEm- I'm sure you'll find plenty of time to DTD. And like you said, you'll be back on Sunday so not too late then either. But try to get started now and Saturday!

Angel- Definitely sounds like you guys got enough "time together" to make it happen if it will. Don't worry about getting it on the day of ovulation. I believe they say the day before is best b/c it takes the sperm hours to travel where it needs to go. I like your idea of not symptom spotting b/c sometimes SS can cause unnecessary anxiety. Hope this is your month!

AFM- My breasts are sore again today. Sitting here trying not to move so I don't trigger my morning sickness/vomiting. My evening sickness has eased off so I am SOOO happy about that.

Got a question for everyone. Does anyone have any recommendations for baby magazines? Is 1st trimester too early to start buying into the hype?

 

[AngelSerenity]

Are you in the UK Lisalee? If so, I loved Pregnancy and Birth, Prima Baby and Pregnancy and Mother and Baby. I don't think it's too early as they normally have good tips for morning sickness etc, although I must admit I did wait until after my 12 week scan in pregnancy no4 as I had already suffered 3MCs.

See if any have articles that tickle your fancy and go from there. Another way you could look at it is if you wait until after your 12 week scan September will nearly be here and there will be new magazines on the shelf .



I think I'm getting thrush , I'm only 3DPO so it can't be linked to anything can it? Just my luck, a week off and I come down with something . Sods law isn't it?

 

[Krissy485]

Ok sweetz i can relate to you on so many levels! Well with my dh we got together when we had just barely turned 20. For me he was only my second serious relationship and i had only slept with one other person before him. i fell for him from the start and knew i wanted to be with him. his past is pretty bad...parents who would break up and then get back together. A father who at the time was undiagnosed as pariod bipolar psyochophranic and so he had a very bad temper that usually ended up abusing the kids. then when he was 14 my dh was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic and at the same time his parents were going through a divorce. then his mother decides to move to cananda to live with and marry a guy she met online. dh went with her at first but then could not do it any more....he came back to MI and by this point his dad was in jail because he tried to steal a car when his psychophrania hit its peak. so he was living in his car at the age of 16 and then got hooked on smoking crack. when he was about to turn 18 he realized he had enough living out of his car, working just enough to get money to buy drugs...it really is a miricale that he did not die in that year and half. he moved in with his mom got clean and then moved back to MI. when i met him he was working two full time jobs. there has been ups in downs in our relationship.

bc of what he went through he does not know how to handle his emotions and does have anger problem. over the past 7yrs he has hit me 4 times out of anger and yep i forgave him only bc of our kids. all our fighting never happen in front of out kids bc we both agree they matter the most. then when i was going to school got my cna and started working midnights he had a friend living with us and he would go off on the weekends i worked overnight and started cheating on me. i found out the morning of my 26th bday. i had a lot of clues so i dug through his phone and sure enough found a number. i confronted him and that is the real reason i left. after a month he realized that the grass was not greener and he needed me. i went back. i got another job and then he started to get jealous which i had never seen before and i think it was bc he was aftraid i would do to him what he had done to me. his anger hit a whole new level and he realized that on his own and sought out help.

he was put on a few medicaitons and they helped along with us talking through it more. are we perfect now? far from it. but once he realized he had a real problem it has helped. he reproposed in a beautiful way and got me a new engement ring. then to bring the year from hell a close we got married on my 27th bday.

i guess what i am trying to get at is that things did not really get better till he decided that they needed to be. do we still have our problems...yeppers like the video games and him getting pissed when we are too loud. but i have changed in the fact that i speak up and let him know when he is being an ass and i think that helps.

well ladies i would love to write more but i got loads to do including homework before we have to leave later. love you girls

oh and no call from dr office yet...