March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group)

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i love this thread too as its much easier to post and agree with wt about fb being for pics and quick stuff!
 
Loo - ok maybe I will come in with some advice. If being in her own room doesn't work, bring her back into your room. I think they're still a bit too young to be manipulating us. For example most nights Z sleeps with me for a significant part of te night but on occasion he will go into his cot so I don't think he's being spoilt by coming in with me. I'm at the stage where any sleep is good, I don't care where it is.

Maybe her teeth are hurting a bit and she's uncomfortable lying down? Z now hates being on his back (I don't know if is teeth or something else) so I put him down on his side or on his front to sleep.

I also tied a top id worn round the bars of the cot the first few nights so thy it would smell of me.

Clearly nothing I try really works... Last night he slept from 9.15 to 11 in his cot, fed til 12.15 then wouldn't go anywhere. Next thing I know it's 4.30 - ive no idea if I slept or if he fed and how. Fed him then and then he woke again at 5.30! So mines not the best advice!

Hope citymouse is ok, not seen her here or on FB for a few days.
 
Oh Lozza... Glad you've got a good GP and you've got a paed appt. it'll be amazing for you to have some answers - he must be costing you a fortune in nappies!!! X
 
This might seem like a tiny thing to some of you but Livy feel alseep by herself in her cot for the first time ever during the day!!!!!!!!!! She does it at bed time sometimes but during the day i have to always get her to sleep in my arms first and then try (and normally fail) to lay her down.
It took 40 minutes of me in tears with her but i laid her down and stood with her and when she cried gave her a little cuddle till she calmed down and laid her down again. This went on for forever but eventually she calmed down and as she looked like she was going to drop off i left the room, she rolled around a bit and moaned but then went silent and was asleep!!!!!!!!!
Loo Livy has a teddy that has a blanket attached to it, i always cuddle her to me with it when it's sleepy time so it smells of me and is really familiar. She holds it in her sleep as well so something that smells of you might help!
I feel like i could cry with happyness, though i know next time will be just as bad a fight if not worse but every little step must be celebrated or i will go mad!!
EDIT - it's been 15 minutes and she just woke up, but progress is still progress!
 
Thank you so much for your kind words.

I really have been in meltdown this week and to know that a few of you are going through it too make things easier.

I think it's just the length of time she is awake that is the killer. Al and I both said that we would rather she got up 3 times and was able to be settled afterwards than having one epic long battle to get her back down.

We have a great routine each night at 7pm (or slightly earlier if she demands it). Bath, massage, breastfeed for 40 mins, bottle (usually 4-5oz), then Al will rock her to sleep. When she wakes in the night we tend to her in darkness, firstly by placing her dummy in and hands on her chest and cupping her head, whispering to her if she cries, is she gets really upset pick her up and rock her. Sleep sheep is on, there is a nightlight on her mobile, which she likes but it appears to stimulate her as she gets all pie eyed if we put it on. As a last resort (usually 2-3 hours after doing all of this) we put her in the middle of us in bed and she will fall asleep. Of course she will...she has got what she wants!

I'm defo on the last couple of weeks of bf. during the day she is fussy and we rarely have a good time with it. As for weaning, she is not showing any signs of being ready, but maybe...


The worst thing is that whatever we do this week, it will all be mucked up by our trip to France, and we will have to start again when we get home. We don't think we are going to practice any of the self soothing exercises until we get back as I don't want to confuse her with mixed messages and I think think it's something we could keep up AND still enjoy our holiday.

I just feel so broken today. Al's just had to take her off me during a really difficult feed which is obviously being made worse by my tiredness and anxiety.
 
Loo I know what you mean about being up for ages, I feel the same way. I'm much better in the morning if I've been able to put him back down quickly. Maybe try just putting her in with you for a couple of nights so that she goes back to sleep quicker and you can catch up on sleep and have more energy to start again. I mean skipping all the 2-3 hr stuff trying to put her back in the cot. Just a thought.
 
Loo- Apparently D missed the memo that you're doing everything right. The only additional thing that I'd add to your list that sometimes works here is that if they do not seem to be going back to sleep, I feed them 2 ounces of formula. Just enough to quench their thirst and get their sucking reflex going strong. I immediately stick the paci back in after they finish. (I don't bother with burping since it's only 2 ounces). 8 times out of 10, they'll go right back to sleep in their own bed. 2 times out of 10 they still think it's time to be awake for the morning. :dohh:

EDIT TO ADD... And I agree with Lozza. Set a time limit for yourself. If she does not go back to sleep in, say, 15 minutes, go ahead and take her to bed with you. Screw the manipulation worries. At least you'll be rested. You can deal with breaking her of sleeping with you later.
 
Loo i total get your meltdown and am having something quite similar myself now.
I think we just have to ride it out which is horrible but surely they will get there i nthe end right?

I feel like a horrible nasty mummy now. All livy wants is to be with me, and I;m forcing her to be by herself :cry:
She is fine if i stay in the room the moment i head for the door she screams!!! The moment i pick her up she starts to fall alseep and if i even move to place her down she screams at me! I cheated and got her pretty much asleep in my arms and laid her down in the end and she finally went back off but i feel horrible for it, but I'm sure that she hates sleeping in her cot because she wants to sleep on me so i can't let her do it anymore. :cry:
EDIT and she's waking up again :cry::cry::cry:
 
L+L, Livy will be fine! She just needs to get used to being put down. Even when she keeps waking up, as she gets sleepy, keep putting her down, but stay there with her and soothe her gently without being too interesting, if that makes sense. If she gets really upset, pick her up again and calm her, then once she relaxes, lay her down again, etc. Its a bit of a mission, but its how i got Roh to start napping independantly. She just needs reassuring that even though you aren't holding her you are still there and she's still safe. Then also, if she needs you, you'll come. That way she won't mind being put down once she's confident you are still available :)

Loo, :hugs: to you hun, its sooo difficult and draining, i've had those meltdowns too trust me. :hugs: A couple of questions, when do you try to get her to nap in the day? At what point do you think 'hmm maybe she's tired?'. How dark is her room? What can she see from her cot? What do you do to try and settle her during the day for naps? Sorry if any of that is things i missed from your original post!
 
Thanks Emera, she is asleep again now. I know i have to just keep at it.
 
:nope::wacko::hugs: Loo!

You have done a tremendous job so far BF and although I have FF from Day 1 I am not trying to be pushy but I do wonder if it would help, for your own sanity. You have to ask where's the joy when you are battling with feeding her, yes they can get fussy and nosey at the breast but surely it shouldn't be a battle numerous times a day. That is stressful, hurtful and quite frankly must be soul destroying.

I'm probably a bit to 'old school' when it comes to bringing them in bed but obviously being awake for that period of time must be knackering.
I never ever bought the girls in bed to sleep, for early morning feeds, yes I did but never to sleep and I haven't done with J either. I suppose if I was going through what you are though I almost certainly would because how else can you function throughout the day with NO sleep :sleep:
How about moving the cot into your room? at the foot of the bed? and maybe take away some of the toys/mobiles from it. Can you sleep with a snuggie for a few days and then try and give it to her. J has one and he has a few but one is a particular favourite and he has it for EVERY nap and also bedtime.

Wish I knew how to help more :hugs::hugs:
 
Thanks lads. After an hour long battle she is now crashed out on the bed between Al and I. Al is sleeping too, but I can't drop off :cry:

Emera, we try to get her to nap between every feed apart from between the last two as its too close to bedtime. This has various degrees of success, but on the whe failure.

I look for the yawning and rubbing eyes, grizzly and whiney, but she has always fought sleep every step of the way and rarely gives in.

Her room at night is pitch black (with b/o blinds), but during the day not the same as we are often out in the pram or elsewhere.

During the day I rock her or push her somewhere in the pram. Occasionally I will go for a drive. I've tried to let her self settle, but she just lies there pie eyed or crying.

My head is banging from the noise and lack of sleep, but I wanted to say again thank you for everyone's kind words. A prime example of the support you lads provide and this thread should not become secondary to FB. xxxx
 
Glow :hugs: yes, ff is defo on the cards, I just wanted to get through the next two weeks, partly to offer her comfort in the hot weather, partly to stop myself from drinking too much and putting on loads of weight, mostly because I'm lazy and dont want to sterilise. Defo when we get back though.

As for bringing her into the bed, it was both of our nightmares and we never ever wanted to do it, that's why we fight it for so many hours each night, but the lure of sleep just becomes a bit strong.

She ignores her snuggie, but likes a muslin square to cwtch

Maybe the cot needs to come back into our room, but I'm not going to make any more changes until after France as I don't think that would help matters.
 
Holy crap. I just noticed your ticker. You've lost 97 pounds! You are amazing!!!!!!!!!
 
Loo, Ok, some ideas then. Probably not all helpful, but hey, i imagine you'll take anything at the moment!

D is obviously a sensitive baby, and i would hazard that she is very easily overstimulated. She sounds alot like Roh was with getting to sleep, he was terrible for napping, and used to sleep pretty well at night, but it would take ages to get him off. Firstly, if this problem has gotten alot worse since you moved her out of your room, i'd move her back, and hell, at this point, if she's not settling at night and no one is getting any sleep, let her back in your bed. Honestly, not losing your mind now has got to be top priority!

Also, you keep saying "she's got what she wants" when you end up takign her in the bed. Careful not to transfer adult motivations onto her, she's a baby, and still very young, and although routines can be habit forming, and therefore hard to break later on down the line, she isn't capable of the kind of manipulative thinking or planning you are projecting on to her. Its not like she's thinking, "if i just stay awake a bit longer, they'll give up and let me sleep with them". She's just unhappy/uncomfortable and wants comforting and safety. :shrug: I'm not having a go at all, i get so angry with Freyja at times, because it feels like she's doing stuff on purpose! I'm only saying this, because i find it alot less stressful if i hold in my mind the fact that she's not intentionally keeping me awake! :hugs:

I'm assuming that when she wakes up she's upset and crying, so you need to go to her, rather than she's just waking up and calm? If she stirs and isn't upset, don't go to her at all! Just leave her to settle back down.

You might find that always having the room pitch black will help. I can tell you from experience that cardboard and masking tape works brilliantly to black out a room!! I'd suggest that as D is so sensitive to stimulus, that the point at which she is eye rubbing and yawning might be too late for her to nap, as she might already be overstimulated. Keep an eye out for when she starts doing things like, avoiding eye contact, trying to look/turn her head away from toys, waving her arms and legs more actively, and getting more vocal. Those are earlier signs of over stimulation/tiredness. Maybe try timing how long it is from waking up to starting to rub her eyes etc. and then maybe try putting her down 5/10/15 mins before that time. :shrug: In general babies this age can only cope with being awake for around 1 hour 15-20 mins before they become over tired, although it varies baby to baby, and also at different times of day. What helps is to have a nap "ritual". So 15 mins before you feel she needs a sleep, take her to a dark room, play a piece of soothing music (classical piano is great), and make sure its always the same music, maybe sing the same song every time. You could incorporate a feed in with it if you like. Perhaps have some lavender or something in her room, so she associates a smell with sleep time too. All of that will give her time to wind down, with minimum stimulation before she gets put down to nap. Then, like i said to L+L, try putting her down, if she gets upset, try soothing her in the cot, if it doesn't work, pick her up and settle her and then put her back down. Another idea is to put her down, and then sit by the cot with your hands through the bars, either holding her hand or with a hand on her back/tummy. Try to avoid touching her head, as some babies find it very stimulating, and try to avoid rubbing, stroking, as again its more stimulation.
Freyja falls asleep to her mobile brilliantly, but with Roh i had to make sure that there was literally nothing even remotely interesting visable from his cot, because the tiniest bit of stimulus would send him loopy!

As for the breastfeeding, you've really gone above and beyond with it, and done so brilliantly! Have a think about possibly cutting out a few feeds a little sooner than you perhaps planned though maybe? On top of all the sleep strain the fussy feeds, plus your worry with D's weight (which i know however much people tell you its ok, it must be worrying the hell out of you :hugs:) it might just be one battle too much? :hugs:

Sorry, its taken me like an hour to post this!!! :hugs:
 
Oh Loo, I'm so so so sorry. I had one night like that and it nearly killed me - I can't imagine all the time. A's was because she was teething, but she cut the tooth and then things were better. I really hope things pick up for you.

One little tiny thing I find does help A to fall asleep - putting my hand or a soft blankie up to cover her ear while she falls asleep. She falls asleep sooo much faster if her ear is covered. My mom says all her kids were like that too. Just a suggestion - I'm sure you've tried everything though!! :hugs:

I agree with the rest of you who said you want to keep this page - it's been amazing having all of you over the last year (you are some of my closest friends, in a strange way!), and I don't want to lose that. Also, it's SO much easier to keep up and read things in order here - I find the FB page a bit confusing that way, and I quickly fall behind there. I do like the privacy of the FB page though, and the fact that we don't have random people reading it :)

Love you all!!! xxxxx
 
Thanks lads.

She woke up crying from her nap (an ultra impressive 1h30), and quickly got to screaming pitch.

She wouldn't feed off me after 20 mins of trying so I went to get a bottle. She eventually calmed down enough for me to give it one more go, and she is now feeding absolutely fine, no fussing. Gah. Talk about mixed messages. :cry:
 
Jacob is a frantic face rubber when he gets tired and that in itself can keep him awake so the snuggie helps with that because I put it in his hand and he then uses that to rub his face and that sends him off to sleep. If she likes the muslin keep giving it to her when you think she's tired and encourage her to rub it on her face.

Not sure if that makes any sense at all :rofl:

Anyhoo, glad she had a nap.....though you clearly need to give her to Al with a bottle, or take her for a walk and get to bed for some rest!!!
 
God loo. You poor thing. It sounds so stressful. I am crap at advice because if t wakes up in the night I just feed and feed and feed until he's so full the only thing he can do is sleep. Not sure that is actually the best idea!

In the day I'm rubbish at putting him to bed. I never remember to look for the cues. My mum had him today though and I don't know what she did but she got him to sleep way better than I can...

I really hope al can take some of the strain tonight. X
 
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