March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group)

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Waula, he took his nappy off through his clothes? :shock:

Oh, and Roh always did the "my Mum is a loon, i'm totally fine" thing to me at the doctors too! :dohh: Once he did it when we rushed him to a+e, as he had bronciolitis and suddenly started struggling to breathe and going blue, i called an ambulance, as i thought he was dying, and when it arrived he perked up and was all like "hiya fun people, what games are we playing now?" :nope: Talk about mixture of heart attack and wanting the ground to swallow me!! (he did end up having a hospital stay, as he kept having weird spells, so i wasn't mad, he just made me look it! :haha:)


Right lads, i need some thoughts...

I'm really stressed at the moment, got a lot going on and i'm sort of feeling like i'm struggling to keep my head above, and that i might be on the edge of sinking into depression. Anyway, all the pressure is manifesting itself around my worry as to how F is growing. Specifically how the breastfeeding is going. Overall she's enthusiastic about food, even if some meals she doesn't actually eat much, so i'm not too worried about that side of things. However, she's not feeding well, or much at all. I think she has a reasonable feed in the morning, but some days not even that, and then she has a snacky feed mid-morning (sometimes) and another mid afternoon, then she has a bottle of expressed milk, and she normally takes about 5-7oz of that. And that's it. I've cut out the feeding in the night, in the hope she'd feed better in the day, but judging by how my boobs feel, she was barely feeding in the night anyway, as if she'd dropped a feed or two, i should definitely have felt at least slightly engorged.
My other concern is that i'm able to express less and less for her evening bottle. I've been topping them up from what i had in the freezer, but i've pretty much used it all up now. I've gone from being able to express 8-9oz easily about 6 weeks ago, to barely getting 3oz. The whole thing is stressing me out. If she was growing well, i wouldn't be giving it a second thought, but she's not. Overall i'm feeling really fed up with feeding her, and am wondering if moving over to bottles will help me relax a bit about it? I did plan to feed until she self weaned, and i'm worried if i stop i'll really regret it. I was so sad when i stopped feeding Roh. However, i also remember feeling really liberated once i got past the initial sadness. I'm also worried if i carry on i'll just keep obsessing about my supply, and i really don't want to be feeling stressed and miserable about it, as i've got enough to be thinking about. Argh. Really its another worry, and decision i just don't want to be dealing with at the moment. I guess i just needed to get it out somewhere, and i'd appreciate peoples thoughts when you have the time. xx
 
Oh emera :hugs: hun. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I don't really know about supply>6months obviously but I know you can't force a baby to feed - when are you next taking her for a weigh in? I know you had a real stress with it with Roh last time and I really hope you can get things sorted out.

I am sympathising with you a bit to be honest. To get a bottle of ebm its taking me 2-3 sessions with the pump and I don't really know how to fit that into a day. And as much as I totally love being a mum (why do I feel like I need to say that?? I'm such a knobber) I feel like I am needing to be able to do a little bit of my own stuff so being able to leave him with a bottle is becoming more and more important to me. So I guess the options for us are: carry on expressing and try not to get too stressed out about volumes, stop using a bottle of EBM every night and just express when you need to, sod expressing and use the occasional bottle of formula when needed (I think this is what Lozza does?) or just accept that its been a fabulous time of BFing but now is maybe the time to make the switch to either combi or just FF. There is no right answer is there. But I know you should NOT feel guilty for whatever decision you come to. Your baby needs feeding and you're going to make sure she's fed which ever way. Happy mum...happy baby and all that.

I feel pretty torn (I think that's normal right - being a Mum??!) because I built extended BFing into the gold standard back in the early days but to be honest I'm reconsidering. Because of work, because of on call, because I want DH to be able to feed him and look after him, because I want him to be able to go to Granny's etc...

So I'm not much help, but I really do sympathise. Big hugs. Xx
 
Hugs, Emera! I think you've said it all yourself: (A) it will be sad (whenever the weaning happens) but (B) it is also liberating. I would never encourage someone to wean sooner than they are ready, and if you want to keep going, you should! You're a BF pro! But I also wouldn't put yourself in a situation where you're allowing feeding (whether by spoon, bottle or breast) to cause you to be depressed. I'd probably just follow her cues. Maybe she's starting to self-wean now??? There are plenty of EBF babies that independently give up the boob earlier than 12 months. Maybe you could have her drink formula at mealtimes (instead of water) just to increase her calorie intake, and then let her nurse whenever she wants. Maybe she'll continue longer that way and you won't have to worry so much about whether she's getting all the milk she needs. :hugs:

Waula- K did the same thing to me recently. I took him to the doctor where he smiled and cooed at the doctor while I tried to explain how he'd been crying "non-stop" for 2.5 days. :dohh: I actually sighed with relief when he started screaming at the doctor.

Loo- 4 weeks!!! :wacko:

Lozza- Hopefully you'll be back on dairy when we meet in London. Otherwise, I'll get fat eating your share of the Whatchamacallits I plan to bring. :)
 
Emera - not much to add to Waula's good advice :hugs: If it's of any interest, my friends little boy (5 weeks older than Z) was hardly bf during the day either, and she'd dropped down to feeding off one side as thought her shit tit was so shit. She's just switched completely to bottle feeding and to be honest he's still not drinking much. I guess some just aren't fussed by milk. Like you've said to me before stopping bf is unlikely to solve everything but at the same time switching to bottles really isn't going to hurt either. I don't express unless I have a blocked duct now, not organised to have the pump cleaned and ready to be honest! But I just give him a carton of formula as and when. I know you said you were going to continue until F self weaned but maybe this is her self weaning? I don't know. Either way big :hugs: for whatever you decide to do. Whatever it is there's no right or wrong answer.
 
Emera massive hugs hun. Xxx

If the whole feeding thing is causing you to feel so down then I definitely would consider a change of tactics. I have never been able to properly express and haven't been able to ditch either of my kids as feel like I have now been breastfeeding forever. I would be tempted to try her on a bottle of formula in the middle of the day and see how much she will take.

Noah feeds really well in the morning 1st thing, snacks all day but hardly takes anything and then has a good night feed. So not that different from you guys. Xx
 
Emera, I'm sorry things are difficult with feeding. It may just be a short phase, Edith does this, has small stints of bobbing on and off, not being fussed. It's definitely tied in with being stressed, she picks up on it. May I ask why you do the expressed milk?

My supply dropped about August to barely being able to express but feeding her is still ok. I don't bother now and the times she is with the childminder or MrC feeds her when I'm at a meeting she has some formula. I figured that she's past 6 months and has dairy so I'm less stressed about exclusive breastfeeding now. I'll carry on feeding her as along as it works out but the spates of stress are hard to deal with and the enmeshment of the emotions of feeding her are hard to deal with sometimes.

I can't advise really, this is so personal. If you are worried about her weight though, would you health visitor be worth talking to?
 
Emera..nothing to really add to the other ladies advice...big hugs. You are and have been doing an excellent job...i.am not one to advise but i.switched when i.felt ready and probably not when M was. But.happy mum =happy baby and you need to.do whats right for you. My.friend now only bf in morning as her girl wasnt.interested/feeding very well...she is taking more from the bottle but probably not much more....i think.she just feel more comfortable knowing exactly.how much.she is taking.

I am not going to.advise either way...but maybe try a bottle and see if she is more interested in that?? Take things one day at a time....

X x
 
Oh Emera! :hugs:

Everyone has given such good advice, so I don't have a lot to add apart from my personal experience. D, as you know was so slow at putting on weight, and though our bf's were lengthy, I wasn't convinced she was taking a lot. When I decided to combi feed, and then stop altogether, I took her lead. It made for a happy baby, which ultimately made a happy me. I was feeling stressed and upset with how it was going, and it felt like a struggle, so choosing to combi feed was the right thing for us both. When I decided to stop, it was a case of doing that before it became a struggle, and tbh, I'm glad I did, though I can't deny it was upsetting.

I guess I'm saying that you have to do what is right for you and F, because ultimately that is what is going to make you happy, and her content.
xxx
 
I agree with what the others have said. You're doing a magnificent job, so you need to scratch out that thought first of all.

I do worry about how much A bfs during the day as she's hungry in the morning and takes noth boobs and seems happy but the rest of the time isn't all that interested. I'm lucky if she feeds four times in the day? and the last one she is so tired she barely has any and the others vary but are hardly ever longer than 5 minutes. I'm also finding that she doesn't ask any more. :/

However, she's sleeping well and gaining weight. I'd have thought with F given that her sleep is getting better and she is gaining and nappies etc. etc. then she's getting everything she needs.

I can't comment on the bottles in the evening because I just feed A but my expressing has gone to pot. I used to be getting 8oz a boob and now I'm lucky to get 3 but I think that's down to A asking for less and therefore not a problem. It's been a pain trying to express for the milk bank because it hardly seems worth it any more and as you know from previous comments of mine, I'm really worried about it when it comes to going back to work. However, I know in my heart that I'm not ready to stop and I bought the double pump to try and help that. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, listen to your heart. If you want to stop, honestly deep down, then do it and enjoy the freedom and what works for you. If you don't, then go with her cues, sleep, nappies etc. and enjoy it but as others have said she may be self-weaning anyway in preparation for her sister/brother. (Naughty me, I couldn't resist that one!)

Big hugs!!

Xxx
 
Can I just say (I'm trying not to be hormonal!!!) but the advice you've all given on here is amazing. I know it's for emera but so much of it rings true for me too. Thank you. You're all ace. I'm going to continue BF as long as poss but if he needs a bottle for if/when I'm not there then it'll be formula. Xxx
 
Waula :hugs: Now, :test:

Emera, I forgot to add before I know I'm repeating myself, but you are doing a fabulous job. You only have to look at F's development to realise she is getting everything she needs, and like my hv says, the chart is only one tiny part of what she looks at. Development, wet nappies, how she looks etc are all part of the big picture.

Waula, you too are doing an amazing job. We all are. It's so blooming normal to doubt ourselves, heck I've done enough of it, but no one here should be beating themselves up. Our babies are amazing, and that is as much to do with how we are bring them up as their natural awesomeness :)
 
Loo....4 weeks til wedding.eeeek. You look bloody.amazing.btw but.just noticed your ticker saying.another 8.5lb to lose...is that to.your target weight? Imagine if you did that before wedding....although wouldnt.recommend...ou got an altered dress.to.fill:happydance:

Exciting!

Emera....hope you are ok.and all the great advice from the other lads has helped x x

Good nights for everyone :thumbup:
 
Thanks so much lads! <3. Totally love you guys, you give the best support and even-headed advice! :hugs:

I had a chat with OH as I was a bit teary when he got home. He asked the same question as MsC, which was why do the bottle? It made me realise I was doing bottles to make sure she'd take one, and also, to reassure myself she was getting a decent feed before bed. OH pointed out that she'd had both disturbed night and also slept through with the bottles, so she'd just as likely do the same if it was a regular bf. So I've decided to forget expressing for a bottle and just give her a feed myself, and then if I still feel worried after a while we can just get some formula. She loves her sippy cup, and slurps water like mad, so there is really no pressure for her to have a bottle OH can be really insightful sometimes, and knows me well, so I think he realised that the expressing was what was stressing me! I'll see how it goes with just doing normal feeds. And typically, since my original post we've had a couple of really lovely feeds. Nice to see F is in on the making me look mental thing! :dohh:

By the way, just wanted to say I think 4 feeds is fine at this point, its the length of 2 out of those 4 feeds that's been worrying me.

Oh, and my HV is a numpty and thinks 4 feeds is too many, and that F should be having 3x2 course meals and 2 snacks and 2 milk feeds now! :dohh: So I won't get any support from her I think. They'll likely be encouraging me to stop bf soon!
 
She'll do all that on her own in her own time though Emera! I was complaining to the Dr that Keira was still on 6 Feeds + 3-3 course meals a day and I swear the next Day Keira just dropped all her day time feeds. She just slept right through them so not even snacks now. We only BF before bed and through the night now.

I need to start pumping in the day and start a stash for when I go back to work.
 
Well, F slept from 7.30pm-5.45am (then 6am-8am) on "just" a bf, so i think we can establish that she doesn't NEED a bottle to sleep through! ;)
 
Hello, i've jsut realised how much I miss out on by forgetting to come on here. Emera, i'm so sorry you've been feeling down.

I just started writing out a load of stuff to you but it looks like everyone else has helped no end. I was going to ask the same as Ellie, it's ace that she'll take a bottle/cup so you know that if you need to you CAN leave her. But I HATE expressing and really, although I know I need to do it a lot more (because work will take over soon) I only ever do it when i'm at work/ted's away and i'm engorged because I find it so bloody boring and stressful.

Night time, as you know, is the best time to be feeding her yourself because of the hormone levels so I reckon just carry on as you are. HV can be a bit "oh at 6 months you should just give up" - misinterpreting the Unicef advice. What weight gain is she doing? Is she levelling out with Roh?

Miss you gals (even though I talk to you daily/dream about you!)
 
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