March Monkeys 2016: 21 boys and 15 girls born

[bombshellmom]

Fiora - from a previous situation and pregnancy I know where you are coming from, and have even been in that situation with DH before. it does hurt, but it is your decision completely
if you ever want to talk about it i would be more than happy to share my story with you. hoping you feel better, the stress definitely does cause some cramping, i notice that as well. hopefully your OH will come around to it soon.

 

[Left wonderin]

Fiora how hard this all is for you , what should be a very happy exciting time being a really sad tough battle . No matter what happens keep true to your heart . That you will never regret . I feel so sad for you . Hope you have some good real life friends you can share with so they can take good care of you . I'd be there in a heartbeat with tea and chocolate ! Your LO is lucky to have you as their mum xxx your already doing a great job .

Joo I'm glad today is over for you , take time to heal and grieve . I hope soon you get your rainbow

 

[KalonKiki]

Mama Swan I'm glad that everything went well with well with your D&C, but still so sorry that your pregnancy ended the way that it did. Once you've had time to grieve and heal and become ready to try again I hope that it doesn't take long for your rainbow to appear.

Oh Fiora, I want to give you a big hug, I shed a few tears for you when I read your post. I can't even imagine the lack of support, it's so horrible that your OH and his family are treating you like this. It is absolutely your body and your decision though and if your OH doesn't want anything to do with this baby then I guess he can deal with paying child support (I'm not sure how it works in the UK, but that's how it works here at least). I do hope that your OH develops a change of heart in time though.
I could never have an abortion either (I'm completely pro choice but I just don't have it in me to ever get an abortion myself unless my life absolutely depended on it) but believe it or not sometime early in my 3rd trimester with DS I seriously considered giving him up for adoption. I was scared, I had no idea how DH and I were going to support him and our relationship was not in the best of places at the time. DH absolutely refused though, he was our son and as far as he was concerned we were keeping him.
Either way you won't go through this pregnancy completely alone though, we will be here for you the whole way through and I'm sure that you have a lot of family and friends that will support you as well.
Also I hope that everything ends up being okay with your baby when you get your next scan.

 

[littlelily]

Oh Fiora, your post made me feel so sad. Sending you hugs. Good advice from the other ladies. Like left wonderin said, stay true to your heart and like Kalon said, we will all be here for you no matter what you decide.

 

[AMP1117]

Fiona I am so sorry you are going through that...I really hope your OH comes around. That's just horrible what he's putting you through. Good luck honey. We are here if you need to talk

 

[kakae]

Oh god Fiora, I'm so sorry to hear of the whole situation (I'm the one on fb with the exact dates etc as you). I hope that he learns that this is very important to you and something you can't 'kill' and be done with. That type of situation and procedure will be with you forever regardless of if it was the best decision for you. Hope that makes sense, I'm pro everyone having a right to choose. Please update us and let us know.

joo I hope you get your rainbow baby very very soon, I'm glad everyrbjing went pk and that you're OK too.

AFM I'm in limbo land, I had the scan yesterday and the embryo is measuring 5-6 weeks, no hb but that's normal for then. I'm meant to be coming up 8 weeks tomorrow so it is looking likely that baby has died at 5-6 weeks gestation. I am getting more bloods done as well as a follow up scan in a week.

 

[bombshellmom]

kakae - hoping your bean is still cooking in there, do you think your dates could be wrong even a slight bit? would really hate for that to be true hope everything is alright

 

[kakae]

I don't see how bombshell as I got a bfp on 12dpo but I guess you do hear of women getting bfp at 8dpo so maybe I ovulated later. I guess I will know once and for all in a week.

 

[Fiora]

Kakae we're in the same waiting game I really hope both our dates were wrong and it all works out for us both!

I absolutely can't consider abortion at this point. I feel like I've already processed, and seen it during our scan, according to midwife everything was healthy (will find out for sure in another 2 weeks) regardless of no HB and I don't want to abort a baby because my OH and his family find it inconvenient.

OH doesn't want it as he's convinced it will ruin the rest of his life. He said some really nasty stuff, like "whoever you date in the future, you think they'll want to take you on when you have a child too??" and "you really think you can do uni with a baby??" etc. I pointed out to him he still would be spending 7-9 months of the year abroad with LCS and even if we were together I'd spend most of the year alone which I'm prepared for, but he still resents having to be around for those 3-5 months of the year.

I'm older than him, and his family think he's too young. He is too young, honestly, I assumed he was older when I met him (he looks & behaves around 25, is in fact much younger) but Jesus Christ we didn't plan it. It was a mistake, but we were both involved, and I can't imagine a family that raises a son to not take responsibility for his actions and choices??? It might not have been the plan, but the fact they're scheming ways to try and get me to abort, it just makes me sick.

He's back home until the 15th, so preparing myself for whatever bullshit they decide to throw at me. Although, after walking out of the cafe yesterday mid argument, I'm not sure if I'm going to hear from him again at all. Nothing so far.

 

[Fiora]

Also removed my signature as the dates are all up in the air!

 

[CurlyRose]

My heart is breaking for you Fiora, yes you can go to uni with a baby, indeed my future depends on me doing just that, and of course someone would still want you with a child, it filters out some of the people you wouldn't want a relationship with anyway! I'm still finding it difficult to understand him and his family, my parents would be appalled if my brother behaved like that, I can't comprehend parents that not only allow that, but support it from their son. I just hope you have a good, proper, support network around you right now.

 

[Fiora]

I don't understand it either. My parents are pretty angry for me too, but they're being amazing at supporting me. I was upset yesterday because imagining bringing a baby into the world without a Dad, or with a Dad that doesn't want it really made me upset, but my Mum reassured me that it would have a huge family and lots of people who love it regardless of whether he sticks around.

I just hate him for his behavior atm!

 

[Fezzle]

Oh Fiora, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation- both your baby possibly measuring behind and especially about your OH's attitude! He does sound very immature with how he's handling it. I'm glad you have some support from your family through whatever happens.

kakae- I'm hoping the best for your dates/measurements too.

joo- I'm glad things went ok with the procedure, and I hope you get to start trying again soon

 

[littlelily]

Kakae, I hope the next scan shows better news for you. When will you know?

Also with you Fiora, hope little bean is ok. So glad you have your family around to support you. It sounds like you're a very strong person and doing such a good job for baby already. Try to stay calm.

Keep us updated ladies, thinking very much of you both.

 

[kakae]

I have another scan on Thursday. Fingers, toes and all that can be crossed need to be crossed. My mw isn't hopeful but I've been doing a heap of research and early scans been out is super common and often 'catch up' again. I mean I don't know the exact date of ovulation or conception but I know my LMP and I know when I DTD and when I got a bfp. So maybe I ovulated later and got a super, super early bfp. And scans can be a week out too. Then (you can see I've been busy on Dr Google lol) hCG levels in around 25% of women DON'T double or whatever the hell they are meant to do. I'm just over 6000 so in the right range for scan date, or just out by my LMP date. And after 6000 they are way slower to go up as they start to peak at 7 weeks. I will know for sure in a week at the next scan but I honestly think I may be still in it. I've had no major cramping (only slight twinges) and no bleeding or spotting. I still have sore breasts and on occasion I'm getting heartburn. However in saying that I have come to prepare myself for it to be over on Thursday. My hubby is super supportive and says we will try again whenever I'm ready if that is the outcome.

How long have you been with your OH Fiora? He could be panicking and scared and being young the only way to express that is anger. And also guys tend to think black and white, he may see abortion as the quick fix, and he can't see the grey so to speak, which is the working through it, the figuring it out, the making changes. Even if you're TTC and are desperate for a baby you have doubts on whether its the right time, whether later would be better than sooner etc. It will all work out in the end, with or without him. Come to us for support, we are all here for each other x

 

[littlelily]

Great research K! There is a lot of proof on this forum of your case going on to be nothing to worry about so feel very hopeful for you.

 

[AMP1117]

Kakae we're in the same waiting game I really hope both our dates were wrong and it all works out for us both!

I absolutely can't consider abortion at this point. I feel like I've already processed, and seen it during our scan, according to midwife everything was healthy (will find out for sure in another 2 weeks) regardless of no HB and I don't want to abort a baby because my OH and his family find it inconvenient.

OH doesn't want it as he's convinced it will ruin the rest of his life. He said some really nasty stuff, like "whoever you date in the future, you think they'll want to take you on when you have a child too??" and "you really think you can do uni with a baby??" etc. I pointed out to him he still would be spending 7-9 months of the year abroad with LCS and even if we were together I'd spend most of the year alone which I'm prepared for, but he still resents having to be around for those 3-5 months of the year.

I'm older than him, and his family think he's too young. He is too young, honestly, I assumed he was older when I met him (he looks & behaves around 25, is in fact much younger) but Jesus Christ we didn't plan it. It was a mistake, but we were both involved, and I can't imagine a family that raises a son to not take responsibility for his actions and choices??? It might not have been the plan, but the fact they're scheming ways to try and get me to abort, it just makes me sick.

He's back home until the 15th, so preparing myself for whatever bullshit they decide to throw at me. Although, after walking out of the cafe yesterday mid argument, I'm not sure if I'm going to hear from him again at all. Nothing so far.

Stay strong honey. You do what is best for you and your baby and to hell with OH if he is going to be such an ass. Prayers for you and your lo that your family is very supportive.

 

[mac1979]

Just caught up on posts. Fiora, my heart is breaking for you. While your OH is gone you need to decide if you really want somebody like that in your life. Only you know what is best for you and your baby and only you can make choices regarding your body. I hope you and your baby pull through.

Anybody else who has gone through a miscarriage, I am so sorry.

 

[stuckinoki]

I've got nothing to add. Mac said it all.

Whatever happens, YOU CAN DO IT. And you've got a whole heap of us here to cheer you on and lift you up and provide any type of support that you need.

 

[littlelily]

Not feeling very pregnant today. Hate that it makes me worry. My midwife asked me about symptoms and I said I have had some but they are sporadic and nothing too severe. She seemed a little concerned but not worried. Just can't wait til 12 wk scan. 11 days to go.