MaternityUnits to allow partner to stay

[jellybean83]

I would of loved for my hubby to have stayed after the birth,I Lost quite a bit of blood and haemorrhaged so he was the one who first changed my our sons nappy and gave him his first feed,When i finally went up onto a ward it was 4 in the morning,I was hooked up to all sorts of drips,I hadnt had chance to have a shower so i was literally covered in blood and i was a known epileptic too and was at risk oh having a fit post op,But my husband had to go and i had to try to take care of Charlie on my own,In the dark,covered in blood and exhausted due to labour and blood loss,When i eventually got my hand to the nurse buzzer i reluctantly used it went unanswered for 20 minutes before a midwife coming and telling em they were short staffed and only use the buzzer in an emergency (I think bleeding out again was an emergency!) I complained to the hospital when i came home and was given a full apology as they said he should of been allowed to stay with me. I know my case is complicated but id still liked to have had him there regardless of all that.

 

[lucy_x]

i would have loved OH to be there, I was in for 3 nights (of which i slept about an hour a night) before being taken for an induction. I was emotional, tired and i couldn't physically do it on my own, i needed help. Breastfeeding was bloody hard work and i wanted his support.

Infact i was so distressed i discharged myself after that night, much better being at home with support even if i couldn't have my BP looked after by doctors.

 

[xcharx]

LO was born at 7.50pm and OH had to leave pretty soon after. Shame really because I couldn't move & kept falling asleep (bad delivery) so when LO woke up I had to keep pressing the buzzer
Next night was fine.
So to answer the question, no I don't think they should stay but if they need to stay (such as mum or baby are in a bad way) they should all be.in a sideroom

Cx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Personally I think it is easier just women over night. I enjoyed the break and my partner was able to go home and look after DS. I think its a waste of money!

 

[blueskai]

I think it's a good idea, I know I would be much calmer with OH around, and would hate to be on my own overnight - I wouldn't sleep.

However if it's just on a communal ward, I wouldn't particularly like that, other men hanging round etc.

xo

 

[AP]

No - and its ourageous that the government could even consider this , how about supporting life saving equipment for new babies? Y'know, the stuff people have to bloody fundraise for these days!

Na, lets just use up much needed space, and whack in some beds. WTF?

Its the job of the midwives to care, lets see money being spent on better care for mums and babies!

 

[Emma&Freya]

I would have loved Sean to stay with me because I was so scared to stay in hospital on my own and with a new baby I didnt have a clue!

I panicked alot that night.

I do agree with AtomicPink though

 

[Lina]

I think it's a great idea. I ended up with an EMCS and uncaring midwives.

Shortly after birth i was forced to pick up my crying baby in complete pain so many times that he ended up sleeping on my chest with me completely unaware due to exhaustion, risking his safety. We couldn't get a private room as they were all occupied. Needless to say I discharged myself in less than 24 hours.

 

[lau86]

DH wasn't supposed to stay but we were in a room by ourselves and I think the midwife felt guilty as she f**ked up the birth so she let him stay and brought a recliner for him to sleep on. I was so grateful I was in hospital 3 nights the first night he was born 23:15 and by the time I was stitched up etc it was the early hours, the second nght the midwife persuaded him to go and sleep, I really regretted that and pretty much insisted he stayed the 3rd night. I would love DH to be allowed to stay but dont really see why so much money needs to be spent, they don't need to get double beds in just a simple pull out like when parents stay in a children's ward.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think the money should be spent elsewhere.

 

[Wriggley]

Yes i would have loved for OH to stay with me

LO was born at 5:13pm and i had to go get stitches so by the time i had that done and spent a little while in recovery i got wheeled to the ward, handed my LO and OH was told he had to leave very overwhelming and didnt help when i called a midwife for a bit of support and she was nasty to me

 

[Tasha]

I think given the situation the NHS is in then it seems a bit stupid to spend money on this. For a start most people are on a postnatal ward with three or more other mum's where are they gonna put a double a double bed?

I do think if the NHS is ever in a better position, then yes the option should be there. With my first I was so poorly with pre-eclampsia, had twenty-seven hours of established labour (4cm+) and my BP kept rising and rising, by the time I had him I couldnt stand, move, hold him etc etc and yet an hour after he was born DH was kicked out and I was not seen by anyone for another eight hours Second one was much better but DH did stay as there was no room for me on the wards that night (she was born at just gone 6pm) and there was no cot for my baby, so I could of coped if there was one as there wasnt Matt slept on a bean bag holding her. Third he stayed on a camp bed. Fourth I didnt him after my section and fifth I left after a few hours. Honestly my experience is that the mw's I've come across dont want to help pass you the baby, get you a drink, make sure you have something to eat, even when they do have the time. I doubt that better time will ever come though.

I do agree that money needs to be devoted to bereavement care NOW. Both my girls I have had to listen to baby's born into the world screaming as I laboured knowing my baby would never cry, with Honey I was made to go and get food whilst in labour (wouldnt let my husband get it for me) and stood in a line of antenatal women all rubbing their bumps, grinning, mostly in for induction and I wanted to shout that to stop that my girl had died both times I have been the one to push for bereavement midwives as there were previously none (both hospitals now have one), we live in London and one of those hospitals is world known, I just dont get how it is possible to get to 2008 in one case (that is when the first hospital got one) and 2011 and not have this sort of care tbh.

 

[Mummy Bean]

absoulty - i have only ever spent 3 nights apart from OH in 5 years, my hen night, one night when i had to go on a work trip and then when i had LO - was heart broken he wasnt there. and said to everyone i would much rather go through labour any day then have to spend a night alone in a hospital again.

 

[lau86]

I agree the idea of Spending 25 million is ridiculous and love one of the comments on the article about shuffling deckchairs on the titanic. But I like the idea behind it and the option should be there if you want it. Just like there should be bereavement care for those that need it- it should be more tailored not just a one size fits all. The nhs is about patient experience and one of its philosophies is the greatest good for all- I dont think this idea is coming out of nowhere I really do think alot of people would take them up on it.

 

[lhancock90]

I think given the situation the NHS is in then it seems a bit stupid to spend money on this. For a start most people are on a postnatal ward with three or more other mum's where are they gonna put a double a double bed?

I do think if the NHS is ever in a better position, then yes the option should be there. With my first I was so poorly with pre-eclampsia, had twenty-seven hours of established labour (4cm+) and my BP kept rising and rising, by the time I had him I couldnt stand, move, hold him etc etc and yet an hour after he was born DH was kicked out and I was not seen by anyone for another eight hours Second one was much better but DH did stay as there was no room for me on the wards that night (she was born at just gone 6pm) and there was no cot for my baby, so I could of coped if there was one as there wasnt Matt slept on a bean bag holding her. Third he stayed on a camp bed. Fourth I didnt him after my section and fifth I left after a few hours. Honestly my experience is that the mw's I've come across dont want to help pass you the baby, get you a drink, make sure you have something to eat, even when they do have the time. I doubt that better time will ever come though.

I do agree that money needs to be devoted to bereavement care NOW. Both my girls I have had to listen to baby's born into the world screaming as I laboured knowing my baby would never cry, with Honey I was made to go and get food whilst in labour (wouldnt let my husband get it for me) and stood in a line of antenatal women all rubbing their bumps, grinning, mostly in for induction and I wanted to shout that to stop that my girl had died both times I have been the one to push for bereavement midwives as there were previously none (both hospitals now have one), we live in London and one of those hospitals is world known, I just dont get how it is possible to get to 2008 in one case (that is when the first hospital got one) and 2011 and not have this sort of care tbh.

This made me tearful Tasha, i can't believe you were put through that

 

[dgirllamius]

I really wanted my OH to stay the night but he didn't even though he was allowed! we were moving flat the same time I had LO so my OH had to get things sorted and moved as we only had a week to get our stuff from one flat to another. We wanted to save on money so my OH spend a lot of time moving stuff himself (the flats are so close you could throw a stone from one window into the other).

It was the WORST night of my life. The night nurses could barely speak English and it was so hard to communicate. I had to keep whipping out my blackberry to translate words while tears were pouring down my face.

I had a c-section which made it even more difficult. I had no sleep and I think the nurses were getting pissed off with me calling all the time and being unable to communicate. If I have another baby I will NOT be having it in Germany! (unless my German dramatically improves before then).

 

[pinklizzy]

Maybe not the extra/double beds but I would've loved it if my OH could have stayed with me, even for a little while. Erin was born at 2.21 am and by 5.30am I had been taken back to the postnatal ward (although I was really lucky to get a side room) and left there with a screaming baby with no idea what I was doing and left to get on with it! OH wasn't allowed to come back until 10.30am and it was awful

 

[lau86]

Thank god for side rooms I was supposed to go on the ward but there was a mum up there snoring like a thunder storm so They let me have a side room

 

[Natasha2605]

Completely. I cried when my OH and mum left me with Summer first night. Alone on a ward with four other woman with a catheter in and barely able to move was horrible.

With Maci I gave birth in the new birthing unit and OH was allowed to stay all night. Made all the different to me.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I quite liked my stay and was never treated badly, am I in the minority??! I dont think men should be around in the eve unless the lady is in labour.