MaternityUnits to allow partner to stay

[lau86]

My memories of it are that I was treated badly yes, and I dont think I'm a precious person. I could tell either they were extremely short of staff or they were lazy. There was one I liked but I never felt they had enough time for me. I'm a doctor though so I don't know whether that affects it (I'm certainly not scary and don't know it all by a long way)

 

[Tasha]

I was not treated well either, after the majority of my births. Also I think having complicated labours (like I did with Morgan and Kaysie Blossom) affected whether I felt the need to have my DH there. The easier ones I didnt need him so much but the twenty-seven hours of established labour with a tear, pre-eclampsia etc etc and also the c-section then I probably needed him more because I was physically unable to do stuff for my babies.

I've talked about it on here before where when I had my emergency section with KB another mum did too, now I was BF so okay but she was bottle feeding and had brought in all the stuff she needed and so less than six hours after surgery she was hobbling down to try and make up a feed for her baby. In those circumstances dad being there would of been a massive help.

 

[special_kala]

The money should go towards more midwives or care assistantd for the ward.

I'm pretty comfortable round men but would hate to bump into a bloke in the.middle of the night when I have realised my pads leaked and I'm covered in blood. That would be horrible.

Yes women need more support on the ward but that needs to be from medical professionals not ohs.

 

[Tasha]

I dont feel now is the time, the NHS is in crisis but I do think new units etc should have the capablities to provide these things and most of them do. Remember the newer ones are all single rooms etc so no bumping into anyone, all have ensuite and so on. They tend to be single beds though and another single bed so Mum can havin birthing partner stay rather than Dad/FOB, although I have heard of one unit which has family rooms for partner and children.

I just have never met a mw (and I've had a few lol) who would want to pass me a drink because I physically couldnt reach myself. Besides many women are much more likely to say to their OH's I want or need this, than 'pester' a mw (not saying that is what they are doing just want some women feel).

 

[special_kala]

If it was private rooms I would agree with it but obviously the money could be better spent on things that are really needed like more midwives, more funding for nicu etc and definitely some kind of seperate specially built area for mums whose babies are born sleeping

 

[Bittersweet]

The cost is ridiclous but the concept is good. I'd love the dad to be there for me, with previous losses I can imagine already il be going out of my mind with worry. So I guess the extra support would be nice x

 

[lau86]

I dont feel now is the time, the NHS is in crisis but I do think new units etc should have the capablities to provide these things and most of them do. Remember the newer ones are all single rooms etc so no bumping into anyone, all have ensuite and so on. They tend to be single beds though and another single bed so Mum can havin birthing partner stay rather than Dad/FOB, although I have heard of one unit which has family rooms for partner and children.

I just have never met a mw (and I've had a few lol) who would want to pass me a drink because I physically couldnt reach myself. Besides many women are much more likely to say to their OH's I want or need this, than 'pester' a mw (not saying that is what they are doing just want some women feel).[/QUOTE]

you've hit the nail on the head there. I mean after the birth medically i was ok just a bit sore, the midwives were helping me to breastfeed but their help was shoving his face on my boob and he had tongue tie so it wasn't doing anything. So really, the midwives didn't do anything my hubby couldn't and obviously i know him much better. I don't want this to be a midwife bashing post, i saw some lovely midwives antenatally but the manner of some on the ward was pretty bad and it made asking them for things very hard.

ETA midwives seem to be a very different breed to nurses, i know they deal with young fit people but there are still some nursey elements to the job.

 

[Chezzz]

if im on the midwife led unit partners are encouraged to stay!

if im on the normal labour ward he'll have to go home..
I think this is great. my OH seems to think he wont be forced to go home.. LOL im sure he'll want to when the time comes!

 

[moomoo]

I think it would be an absolute waste of money!?

IMO the money would be better spent on More mws, kit for special care, aftercare and breastfeeding support, miscarriage and baby loss, and probably 101 other things!

I seriously don't think it's the be all and end all, OHs should be allowed to stay. In the chair, like they have done for years. Funding special double beds is just rediculous IMO

 

[amjon]

My DH stayed with me (and even slept in my bed the first 3 nights). He only left for a bit the first day when my mom told him he had to go to the house with my dad to take care of some things. I did need him when I started to get pain to help put pressure on my legs.

 

[special_kala]

This would put more pressure on already over worked midwives.

What about the security risk random men walking round the ward at night, wanting to be buzzed in and out for cigarette breaks etc. Who's toilet would they use? Would they expect to be fed too?

I was completely hysterical when Chris left me with River, was still throwing up every 10 minutes and didn't even want to pick her up but the mws helped me until he could come back (the ******* strolled in at 2 pm when visiting for dads started at 11am though lol)

I remember with River sitting on the sofas feeding her at 1am what would I have done had some random bloke who couldn't sleep plonked himself next to me too watch a bit if tv.

 

[~RedLily~]

I think there should be the option of paying a bit extra for a private room and having your partner stay.
If there had been partners staying on the ward when I had LO I would have probably never got up to go to the toilet tbh I would be mortified if I bumped into a man when my pad had leaked or something.
I also wonder if it would only be an option for partners or would birthing partners such as mums be allowed to stay? Single mums and mums who's partners couldn't be there for whatever reason need just as much help and support those first hours.

Having said all that I don't think it is something that should be considered right now, there are so many other things that are desperately needed that should be a priority.

 

[Chezzz]

This would put more pressure on already over worked midwives.

What about the security risk random men walking round the ward at night, wanting to be buzzed in and out for cigarette breaks etc. Who's toilet would they use? Would they expect to be fed too?

I was completely hysterical when Chris left me with River, was still throwing up every 10 minutes and didn't even want to pick her up but the mws helped me until he could come back (the ******* strolled in at 2 pm when visiting for dads started at 11am though lol)

I remember with River sitting on the sofas feeding her at 1am what would I have done had some random bloke who couldn't sleep plonked himself next to me too watch a bit if tv.

Our MLU is all private ensuite rooms?
I get what you mean about the fag breaks but my OH wouldnt go out for them.. and there is a seperate entrance to main hospital so he doesnt have to walk to end of the hospital to get out. they dont feed the men on our unit though, although there is a cafe opposite the ward. but like i say this is the MLU and they expect discharge to be within 6-12 hrs after birth

 

[babydevil1989]

i dont really see why men should have to go seen as its their baby too??

imagine if t was the other way around men had the baby and women were told to leave 2/3 hours later?! not very fair!

i agree with the money side, my OH stayed in the reclining chair when i had DS (he did only stay for a few hours because he was exhausted after being up for 4 days!)

as for random men walking around it just didnt happen - if you needed the loo in the day you could still bump into a random bloke visiting his partner. no one was allowed back in after 11pm on our ward so security wasnt an issue, i just feel at the scariest, uncertain time of a womans life she is just left on her own (in my experience).

like i said before i had a c -section after a 72 hour labour with no sleep after having a spinal and doped up on diamorphine to look after a screaming baby because the midwives were short staffed ad couldnt help me! x

 

[Bevziibubble]

I definitely wanted my husband to stay, I was gutted when he had to go home. I had lost 800mls of blood and feeling awful, as well as having to have a catheter in all night and drips in my hand. I also hadn't slept in over 24 hours. It would've been great to have not been on my own.

 

[lindseymw]

Utter waste of money.

I'd rather they spend the money on MWs, keeping Maternity Wards open, equipment etc.

 

[Lina]

It's easy to say well book a private room but in many hospitals these cannot be booked in advance and often can be given away to someone in more need whilst you are occupying one. Ordering double beds is ott in the current state as an ordinary chair would do for many dads. Birth should be made as comfortable as possible for women. Where is the sense in marching partners out and ignoring women who need help?

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

^ sod the private rooms, sometimes its hard enough to even get a bed! It is not the end of the world if the man has to come home for a bit. He can even pick up some stuff from home etc while he is there.

 

[Quackquack99]

id have loved for my oh to stay. i had a emcs and was paralysed for over 13 hours. everytime i buzzed in for some help they took aroun 20 mins to come to me but if my oh was there he could have helped just as much. one of the worst experience i had was when summer projectile vomitted on to the floor and the midwife handed me tissues expecting me to bend down to clean it. i had a csetion the day before. there was no support i would have been better off at home. i beggedto be discharged and be home with my oh.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Has anyone seen the new maternity buddies? Volunteers being trailed in hosps to do stuff such as just help new mums, make tea etc but nothing medical. This sounds like a MUCH better option. x