~*May Miracles 2020*~

[kittykat7210]

Jary I have a countdown app on my phone that I have set up baby due date on, helps keep me sane I do remember my daughter keeping me guessing for a while, but it all sounds promising and leading up to full labour

I think baby has hiccups, she’s not been a very hiccuppy baby but I feel hiccup type movement in my left hip! It’s not central which I’m surprised about but no one can feel where abouts she is (some think she’s breech, others think she’s head down) I struggle, I keep thinking she’s head down but then changing my mind I have some pretty bad pressure in my cervix but don’t if it’s head or just something else.

 

[Jary]

Oh those hiccups are a pain! Lol even tho she's head down I feel them in my hip and further up my tummy. But mostly in the crotch lol.

I love that she's keeping people guessing about her position! Haha but I hope she's head down for you!

What has everyone been doing to occupy their time? I've made a school sponge tray cake - although no where near as good as the actual school cake we used to get lol. I've had a couple of slices already and bubs likes it because shes having a good stretch and jiggle - making me feel like if she doesn't stop she's going to pop my waters lol.

 

[missielibra]

kittykat! I have a countdown app too. I had a countdown for everyweek, like now the only two left are for 37 (since I reached 36) and for my apt thursday hahaha! I liked seeing it like in smaller steps. Like, oh okay 9 days for 37, but only 2 for 36! hahaha. It's also been keeping me sane!

I hope for you she's head down ahah and its not a butt pressing on your cervix!

Jary, I have been nesting like crazy. Although since I've been on paid work leave (that was a cool thing I found out. I was using my sick days since I had 30 of them, to keep <working> and not start my mat leave since they put me on bed rest, but because its only because COVID and closed daycares that I had to be put on bedrest, I was eligible for a special <paid leave> at work, so I don't even have to use my sick days! I can just use that until I pop and then start my mat leave. So if you count that I've been off since March 31st, and my leave is 12 months.... hahah I'm gonna be home for a LONG time).

Anyway, haha since I've been on leave, I've had time to do the things I love but never had time. Bake my own bread, bagels, make my own pasta, my own jam. so I've been doing that. Cleaning the house. Fixing every little thing in the babys room. Normal bedrest stuff right? HAHA

That cake sounds good jary haha.

 

[kittykat7210]

God you guys are so much better than me I have literally been looking after our toddler doing the basics, I cook dinner but that’s about it! I did vacuum the stairs (we live in a 3 storey house so more sets of stairs than usual) a few weeks ago but I’ve not done much since, I’m a terrible house wife! I finished work on the 22nd of March (day before lockdown) because I had to and used my sick days so I’m not too far off what I’m supposed to be earning, then used holiday so I don’t start maternity leave officially until May 14th, I’ll have some holiday when I get back aswell so it will be like a 14 month ‘break’ by the time I go back to work!

 

[missielibra]

Oh god do I feel you on the stairs. We also have three sets of stairs. Just the top floor has 5 bedrooms and a bathroom and I've been DYING hahahaha. You're good doing stairs, it gets my contractions going. Vaccuming too.

Honestly, its just because baking relaxes me (my dad is a chef and a baker and I grew up with that stuff), so I've been quite a nervous wreck and its my therapy hahahaha.

14 months nice! So we'll both be very sick of being home by the time it's over hahaah!

 

[kittykat7210]

Missie you live in a far bigger house than we do, We don’t even have 5 bedrooms in the whole house let alone just on 1 floor! To be fair the vacuuming did get my contractions going and my husband was unhappy when he found out I did it but I was on a roll and just went with it! Luckily our hoover is quite fancy (I feel silly saying about a fancy hoover but it’s a shark and I love it ) and you don’t have to drag the whole thing up the stairs you can just take off the dust container and take that with you which makes it loads lighter. It also has anti hair wrap technology which is a must because I seem to lose loads of hair and it’s butt length so has destroyed many a hoover not up to the task haha!

having loads of false alarms, keep getting random REALLY strong contractions that ease off after 2-3 of them but still scare me for about 10-15 minutes at a time

 

[missielibra]

No, no thats a fancy hoover. I want one hahaha.

Haha, yeah. The motion of vaccuming or mopping is deadly for the belly I find haha...
I hope they ease off, you're so CLOSE to 36 weeks now! Can't make it to 35+5 without making it to 36! (I've been telling my belly that, listen buddy, we did half the week, lets finish it hahah!)

I hope she stays put!

 

[Jary]

Oh Missie that sounds amazingly organised with everything you've been making!!

And kitty don't worry I have days where I literally just can't motivate myself and my DD just has to entertain herself which she can do but I feel like a bad mother!

Anyone else have a weird lumpy bump at the bottom? Mine feels so weird and it's a bit sore sometimes!

 

[cnote]

Omg I'm also avoiding vaccuming the stairs! I'm glad that's a thing! Kitty I also feel like a terrible housewife lately. I initially did a ton of cleaning/nesting but I've been so tired lately, it takes all my energy to make dinner and empty the dishwasher lol.

I'm so jealous of your guys' mat leave. I'm in the bay area, CA (specifically a city called San Jose) and not only do I not get paid mat leave (even more unbelievable since I'm a public sector employee), but the cost of living here is just outrageous. It's stressing me out a lot that we'll have to get by on one income for a bit. We're hoping that somehow his work will take this covid experience to allow some employees to work remote full time, and then we can leave for a more affordable area....

I slept last night so I have no excuse to be lazy today, lol. Guess I'll vaccum those stairs

 

[missielibra]

Youre not a bad mom Jary. I have days where I let my 19months old entertain himself. I even put him down early for his nap because Im the tired one haha.

Cnote, you have every excuse to chill. Youre growing a human being. Id hardly call that lazy! I am so sorry the mat leave is so horrible where.you are, thats insane to me! Here normal people get 75% of the salary for 6 months and 55% for the other 6months. I am a federal employee so I get a top off so I make 93% the entire 12month . And It just seems like thats how it should be everywhere

 

[kittykat7210]

Jary, you’re not a bad mother, I always feel like a bad mother, I switch the tv on daily so I can get a few extra hours sleep after she wakes up in the morning. Half the days my daughter doesn’t even get dressed, she’s a nudie little lady and it’s a battle to get her to wear clothes and I’m not going to lie I don’t bother, it’s so much work just getting her in clothes and I don’t see clothes as important

cnote yeh just chill, the dishwasher doesn’t get done daily in our house either. I so don’t envy anyone in America for maternity leave, yours is so bad I can’t believe they get away with it! I feel so so fortunate that our maternity is brilliant, 90% pay for 6 weeks and then ‘statutory’ pay (currently £151.20/week) for an additional 33 weeks, with the remaining 13 weeks unpaid. My company maternity pay is full pay for 12 weeks then 50% pay for 27 weeks then unpaid for remaining 13 weeks. My work allowed me to take my full holiday allowance (4 1/2 weeks) before my maternity aswell so effectively I get 16 1/2 weeks full pay!

 

[Jary]

Thanks ladies. I think the main thing is that she's happy and that her mental health is kept good because this is a hard time for kids too!

I definitely don't envy your maternity pay ladies it's so unfair!! I'm lucky with being in the NHS that its one of the best pay packets for maternity. I've had my pay averaged out so I get fairly equal amounts but i think I'll be getting just over 1k a month apart from mays pay which will be less as its just occupational maternity pay and not combined with statutory maternity pay like the other months. That'll cover me for 9 months up to January but I can take annual leave so won't actually return to work until February.

 

[cnote]

I can't believe how good ya'll have it with maternity leave/pay. Missie, yours is just nuts! Jary, even 1k a month isn't too shabby!

Kitty, my last job offered mat pay similar to yours through state pregnancy disability leave (up to 12 weeks only). My new job however, has their own pregnancy disability fund and doesn't pay into state, and you have to pay a certain amount into the fund before you can access it. I haven't been at the job long enough to reach that threshold so I'm SOL. However - good news! I just found out that due to covid-19, my department has to cut 1.5 million from the budget and will lay off a bunch of people, including most if not my entire team. So that means I would be able to collect unemployment. I was going to resign anyway (which would not make me eligible for unemployment) so...crossing my fingers I get fired!

 

[cnote]

What do all you ladies do for work? I find it so fascinating our differences/similarities since we're all in various countries. I was a training coordinator for the state of CA for years, and am currently an Analyst for the training division in HR in the city I live in. I'm considering a total career change though...I dunno what yet. Maybe professional couch potato.

 

[Jary]

I'm a sexual health nurse I love it!

 

[missielibra]

Im an IT analyst in the federal gov. In my case, I mostly do project management.

A change of career is always good. Lord knows Ive bounced around haha. I have a nursing diploma. Went back. Got a programming diploma. Went back go a biological anthropology diploma. Went back got an IT masters. Haha. So I am all for career changes.

 

[kittykat7210]

I work at Aldi it’s not glamorous but it pays well and I can leave my work at work and they work around my husbands working hours so we don’t have to pay for childcare!

although I’m redoing my A levels and going to study to be a midwife in a few years (once littlest is 3 and can access free childcare) I was always smart and meant for far more than a supermarket but wasted my education because I didn’t know what I wanted to do!

 

[Bloblo]

Cnote, I've actually been to San Jose for a couple of weeks once for work. I really liked it there, but everything did seem super expensive.
Im in Poland, we get 100% paid pregnancy leave followed by 1 year of maternity leave at 80% paid. I stopped working in March of 2018 when I found out that I was pregnant with dd. And got pregnant again before she turned 1, so I am still on leave. My maternity leave will start on the day I give birth, so should be till May next year. And I have 52 days of normal paid holiday leave saved up, so that will hopefully get me to the end of summer 2021 before I need to return to work.

I'm a chartered management accountant, but my actual job is as a solution design consultant. I work for an international outsourcing company and go around to clients that are interested in outsourcing their accounting and business processes. I look at what they do and then design a plan for them and work with our sales people to present that plan. I used to be practically married to my job, but now I can't ever imagine going back. I just love being a stay at home mom soooo much. I don't really have a choice though, my salary is stable and paying for our living expenses, cars and mortgage etc. Dh has his own company and it's just not stable enough to live off, we tend to use his money just for taking care of his dad and for travelling when we can.

As for pregnancy laziness... i am bybfar the worse of us all. Since the lockdown has started 45 days ago, dh has been home. He has taken over the following: cooking, washing, cleaning, dishes, taking care of the toddler. I spend my days watching them play (often joining in), napping, moaning about my spd and sciatica, perhaps cooking breakfast or lunch, doing online shopping... i have no responsibilities or chores though. I only really take care of the toddler when dh has to go shopping for food or has to work a bit. Whenever I move too much, dh will force me to sit and chill for an hour. I'm spoilt rotten and I am surely milking it to the fullest until Nina arrives.

 

[cnote]

Love it Jary, I'm sure you've got some stories!!

So cool reading all the different things we're doing. Bloblo, your job sounds fascinating and I can't believe you've been getting paid for over 2 years on mat leave!!!! Omg, if I lived in Poland I would just keep having kids! I know, I hate it that I have to go back to work, I would so much rather be at home. It's unfortunate some of us have no choice. A lot of people love the SF bay area, but it's not sustainable for raising a family. Most family-sized houses in decent areas will run anywhere from 800k-1.2M. It's almost impossible to buy a home and rent is outrageous as well. We're only here for my husband's job since he works in tech, but we're really hoping they offer a full time remote option soon.

Missie, I've thought about going back to school but, ugh, I still have ptsd from my grad program 10 years ago.

Kitty don't feel ashamed about working for the store!! Prior to my current job I had an easy job making just "ok" money. But I was never tired or stressed, I baked/cooked, took care of the house, did all the shopping, my coworkers were like my family....but I thought to myself, hey I have a master's and am capable of so much more, so I left that job for my current one (a HUGE step up financially/professionally). It was horrible though. I was SO tired all the time, I was stressed and miserable from day 1. The people were fake and stuffy, the work wasn't fun. To this day I regret leaving my easy job. There is truly a benefit to being at a job that doesn't stress you out while you're raising kids. Work-life balance is so very important.

 

[elliecain]

I’m a secondary school teacher and I teach French and Spanish. I’ve been off work since mid January because of all the mental health crap that went on through this pregnancy. I got full sick pay and then they forced me to start my maternity leave in early April, at around 36 weeks. We get good basic maternity pay in the UK and my husband and I have some savings to keep us afloat. I’ll take the whole year I’m entitled to, so go back start of April 2021.

I’ve returned to work pregnant twice now. I was so sure we would stop at 3 and we most likely still will, but I was desperate for another vaginal birth and, if I don’t get it this time, I know I’ll probably want to try again! We need to stop though. 4 would be too much for our house and I’m too old now. I need to relish my final 8 days of pregnancy.

The latest news is that I’m still booked in for a c section next Thursday on my due date. I’m to go in on Tuesday for bloods etc and they will also then swab me for COVID. If I’m negative (as I expect), it means they can slacken the PPE rules a bit when I go in for the birth.

I’ve been having lots of contractions and I just feel like things are starting to happen. This went on for a week with my second, so it’s familiar. I quite like the excitement of it and I really hope I do go into labour. At that point, I will need to decide... I’ve spoken to the hospital about a vaginal breech birth and they have given me all the risks but said it’s up to me. They will support whatever choice I make. If I make it to next Thursday, then I’ll reluctantly go for the c section, but if my body goes by itself beforehand, I’ll see how I feel then and decide. I’ve also asked one final time about an ECV, since they refused on the grounds that I had a previous c section and then I read their own guidance on it and that is not an absolute contraindication. I would love it so much if they would try to turn the baby.

So for now, I have a head in my ribs and a very lazy baby. It doesn’t move much at all, which I hate, but which seems to be its normal. I hope it is this chill on the outside too.

Discomfort wise, my pelvic girdle aches a lot, especially when I’m running after the kids and getting up and down off the floor. My nipples hurt, but that could be from colostrum harvesting. I’m getting the full 1ml every day with ease now. My vagina feels swollen and achy, as I think the baby is starting to engage its bum! I’m still very mobile, but have pretty much stopped my daily 3+ mile walks now, as they were getting tough. I’m up 23lbs in total, which I’m quite pleased with. I’ve stayed fit and active, so my recovery will hopefully not be too bad, however I deliver.

I’m torn between wanting to meet this little monkey now and wanting to keep it in for a while longer. I don’t know if it’s because of the infertility we went through, but I am kind of addicted to the magic of pregnancy. Even though I find it tough emotionally and mentally, I feel complete while I’m pregnant. After I give birth, I start to feel less of something, though I do love having a small baby too. It’s hard to explain, but there is something magical and special about walking around with a baby inside. I feel like a superhero or something! Does that make sense?

We are nearly there ladies! I don’t know if anyone fancies joining a private Facebook group for afterwards? I did it with my first (we actually moved from here to FB during our pregnancies) and it worked pretty well. I can have a go at setting something up if people are interested. Best of luck to everyone in the next few weeks. Lots of pictures please!