MAY we all be blessed with baby! May 2013 and beyond (BFFs Seeking BFPs)

[pennymarie]

Typically I stay out of these topics because I don't like telling people what to do. We are each are own, and all we have are our opinions. There are far too many cultures and individuals for there to ever be a right way.

But I've smoked since I was 18 yrs old. We started TTC (hardcore) in 2009. I still smoked then. I never had a positive before. Honestly, even though I said I would have quit the moment I found out I was pregnant, I imagine it is possible I could've slipped. But January of 2012 I quit smoking full-stop because frankly it was making me sick. Like terribly nauseous. And I had always struggled with irregular periods. But as soon as I stopped smoking, my periods became regular and I became pregnant in 5 cycles. It ended terribly, but I made it 14 weeks.

In my opinion, because it worked for me I believe that you should quit smoking before you TTC because it is hard. Very hard. Even for people who are ill from it. So then that way if you slip, its not okay, but its not as bad as when you are pregnant. This is what worked for me. I smoke maybe one or two when I'm on my period.

 

[omgbaby]

Well, I've missed a lot in the past hour.
9 times out of 10 that's why I never post my opinion on this site, because even though it is an opinion it's still going to cause an argument.
My uncle died from lung cancer after we were told it was pretty much out of his system. I will never forget seeing him laying in that bed frail & skinny as can be... All because of lung cancer that traveled through his body. He died on my grandma's (his sisters) birthday.

 

[chulie]

Well, I've missed a lot in the past hour.
9 times out of 10 that's why I never post my opinion on this site, because even though it is an opinion it's still going to cause an argument.
My uncle died from lung cancer after we were told it was pretty much out of his system. I will never forget seeing him laying in that bed frail & skinny as can be... All because of lung cancer that traveled through his body. He died on my grandma's (his sisters) birthday.

ya I guess I'm too new..I'm like the "keener" in the office haha. Dont worry, i've clearly been put in my place and learned my lesson!

So sorry about your uncle. Ya my nanny was the same. She had quit for like 10 years but the damage was done. Those memories stay with you forever I think.

 

[Ruskiegirl]

Well started having spotting its minimal and more pink then red still lots of cm mabey its IB? Have minor cramps too . Don't think I ever spotted at 9 dpo

 

[EAandBA_TTC]

No opinion I'd like to share on the above topic...

But I'm going to try not to test in the AM. This morning was negative, and I'd like to save the 2nd First Response for a few days if I can... I do have ICs for the time in between

 

[omgbaby]

Well, I've missed a lot in the past hour.
9 times out of 10 that's why I never post my opinion on this site, because even though it is an opinion it's still going to cause an argument.
My uncle died from lung cancer after we were told it was pretty much out of his system. I will never forget seeing him laying in that bed frail & skinny as can be... All because of lung cancer that traveled through his body. He died on my grandma's (his sisters) birthday.

ya I guess I'm too new..I'm like the "keener" in the office haha. Dont worry, i've clearly been put in my place and learned my lesson!

So sorry about your uncle. Ya my nanny was the same. She had quit for like 10 years but the damage was done. Those memories stay with you forever I think.

O yeah its hard to get over things like that. Even harder because he was the only one of her siblings who ever went to see her. I felt so bad for her. I can only imagine the pain she felt. His wife still goes to visit her though so that's nice.

 

[nikkilucky77]

Well started having spotting its minimal and more pink then red still lots of cm mabey its IB? Have minor cramps too . Don't think I ever spotted at 9 dpo

It could be IB! Good luck, keep us posted!

 

[Tangerine]

Well started having spotting its minimal and more pink then red still lots of cm mabey its IB? Have minor cramps too . Don't think I ever spotted at 9 dpo

I'll be keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for you, Ruskiegirl!

 

[RaeChay]

Well! I know I'm in the minority here, but personally I love the controversial stuff. One question- why is quitting smoking such a hot button topic over quitting alcohol- which was discussed just last week I believe? Interesting though, isn't it. Personally I think it's cultural - look at 50 years ago: pregnant moms both smoked and drank & no one batted an eyelash.

As an RN, quitting both alcohol & smoking is VERY important for TTC. That's no opinion, it's just fact (some may assert that quitting smoking is more crucial than quitting booze- I don't know the stats so I won't speak to that).

As a human, I drink in moderation throught the month & like to smoke cigars/pipes during AF. I'm rolling onto month 5 here, and if that turns to month 12 I will reconsider my habits. Because that is when my habits may begin to cost me money. At any rate: quitting things that give you pleasure is difficult, natch. However - I used to work at a jail, and I can tell you that babies are born to the worst types of mothers. If bad habits made ttc impossible, there would be far fewer of us here, that much is for sure (but try to quit! Lol). How is that for balanced

 

[Hopeful2014]

@OurLilFlu You can now see the BFP blinking by your name. I'm so happy for you and I hope you'll stick around and let us know how you are! Congratulations!

@kksy9b I'm so happy you have him to work with you and show you so much concern. Good luck!

@Tangerine Thanks so much. How are things going with you? Fingers crossed for a BFP on Sunday!

@gabbygabz I'll move you to TBA until you have a date. Thanks, that's such a sweet compliment. I'm sorry that round one was so frustrating and painful. I'm so glad you are getting answers and moving forward. I know you are moving toward that BFP! Good luck!

@River54 It's so hard to say what's happening especially with those temps! I hope you get answers soon.

@MzImpatient Fingers crossed for a temp rise tomorrow! I hope this is it for you!

@EAandBA_TTC Good luck!

@littlesteph I hope it's not going to be an early af. Your temps are going up. I hope they continue to soar! Good luck!

@Ruskiegirl I hope it's only IB. It's still very early! Good luck!

 

[Hopeful2014]

In the hopes of finding balance and maintaining friendships: a brief story and possible explanation for each view

My mother is a life long smoker. I believe she quit when pregnant, but she continued on after that. She smoked around me all the time. I tried it when I was a rebellious teen and then quit after a while just because I didn't really want to smoke. It was not really hard for me, although I know it can be very difficult for some people. However, I do believe anyone can overcome it. I continued to beg her to stop, but alas she never will. It's bad for her health and I got sick several times from being around her smoking. It's definitely bad for pregnancies and just as bad when breathed in as secondhand smoke. We all know this. It just comes down to how you handle it.

I think we do get so heated because we all have personal experiences and opinions. A lot of us have family members or someone we knew who succumbed to illness or death from smoking. That stings and it will always sting. No one can take that away from you. I know that if someone tells you example a will be responsible for your death or the death of a loved one that most people who scream "stop it now! Why can't you just stop it if it means that!" Of course we have the other side where people have not experienced this and seem to be fine with smoking. Perhaps it's something they grew up with and never knew it to be dangerous and feel it's more relaxing and a normal way of life.

We are here because we want a little baby and we need/want people to talk to. I'm not saying someone who doesn't follow medical guidelines doesn't want a little baby just as much as one who follows all guidelines, but it may feel that way to people sometimes. We are all going through such a difficult process. It's harder for some than it is for others as well. I can understand that seeing someone who has exactly what you want who seems to be treating it so flippantly can drive you crazy. Maybe you're a person who is working so hard and not allowing yourself to have anything that is considered bad for baby and not seeing two lines yet. Maybe you're having a tough day and you read something that someone says and it stings. It stings you because you remember that family member, it stings because you don't yet have what that person has, it stings because af is here and torturing you, it stings because you're in the tww and afraid you didn't do enough, it stings because you are trying so hard and on medications/hormones/treatments/etc. and it sucks to have to wait when you committed to having baby months ago.

We don't all have to agree about everything. We can all wish each other the best of luck, offer advice along the way, and understand that we all need to be heard. We all want a little baby. The means to getting it, keeping it, and raising it might be different for many of us. Let's help each other through it.

 

[kksy9b]

Very well said Hopeful!

 

[chulie]

Wonderfully said Hopeful! Your so much more eloquent than I! Hahaha.

Yaaaa Ruskie and EA and BA sounds like you ladies are our good start to the month!!!! Whoooo hooooo!!!

 

[Hopeful2014]

There are not any official testers today, but I look forward to progressions and new BFPs! How about a little humor while we wait? Have a great day ladies!





But honestly...

 

[ClandestineTX]

@nikkilucky77: I disagree completely. I want an oopsie, or at least a
8 cycles and counting into TTC, I seriously wish I could have spontaneously created a baby.

Lol ok I get what you are saying! I am not up to 8 cycles yet but I am sure I will be feeling the same way . I guess I was referring to one night stands with strangers that result in pregnancy for one example...btw they make it look so easy to get pregnant. It's not fair

I was an oopsie for my mom but I'm the best oopsie for her . It is never good to hear that you were the result of make-up sex and your dad was dating two women at the same time lol.

I knew what you meant, I was being cheeky because all this work is tiresome after a while and if there's a place we can sign up for an oopsie - I'm ready for one, LOL. My husband's parents died earlier this year, while sorting papers from his mom's - we found not only his parent's original divorce filing (claiming his dad hadn't been around for almost 6 months before hubster was born), but also a restraining order his mom had taken out on his dad! They did actually remarry when my husband was about 5 and were still together until they died.

Well! I know I'm in the minority here, but personally I love the controversial stuff. One question- why is quitting smoking such a hot button topic over quitting alcohol- which was discussed just last week I believe? Interesting though, isn't it. Personally I think it's cultural - look at 50 years ago: pregnant moms both smoked and drank & no one batted an eyelash.

As an RN, quitting both alcohol & smoking is VERY important for TTC. That's no opinion, it's just fact (some may assert that quitting smoking is more crucial than quitting booze- I don't know the stats so I won't speak to that).

As a human, I drink in moderation throught the month & like to smoke cigars/pipes during AF. I'm rolling onto month 5 here, and if that turns to month 12 I will reconsider my habits. Because that is when my habits may begin to cost me money. At any rate: quitting things that give you pleasure is difficult, natch. However - I used to work at a jail, and I can tell you that babies are born to the worst types of mothers. If bad habits made ttc impossible, there would be far fewer of us here, that much is for sure (but try to quit! Lol). How is that for balanced

I'm with you, not bashful at all about controversy. I can help you with the data, drinking too much is definitely worse than smoking in terms of birth outcomes. Basically fetal alcohol syndrome versus low birth weight, premature birth, etc. They are both bad, as is being underweight or obese. The risks associated with maternal weight are also very real and something people really don't like talking about, due to people's sensitivities. I'd be willing to wager nearly every last one of us has at least one thing that should be done differently and most pregnant women do at least one thing they shouldn't. Even though no one's perfect, we should all work to improve the things we know aren't a good idea - whether it's cutting back or quitting smoking, keeping drinking to a minimum, and getting regular exercise, etc. Definitely judging others isn't helping us care for our own selves.

@Hopeful2014, LOL... not all of us want "a little baby" I actually dread infancy. I'm excited to parent a child, even a teenager - a person. But that whole baby thing... just not my cup of tea. I swear I will be a better mother for each milestone my "baby" hits and becomes more of a "person"!

 

[kirstyjane13]

I think I have my dpo wrong. I got a positive opk on 30th may. So that means I ovulate 24-48 hours after? So im not 14dpo but between 11/13dpo. Is that right? Im so confused lol xx

 

[omgbaby]

Omg. Horrible night. Last night I started spotting before bed, woke up to nothing. Couldn't sleep at all!! Was up damn near every half hour to an hour & was sometimes awake for another hour before I could fall back asleep. So didn't temp. Wish I would have but no. Lol

 

[ClandestineTX]

@kirstyjane13: I read a paper yesterday (medical study) that ovulation can occur the day of a positive OPK and up to three days afterwards - so you likely ovulated between May 30th and June 2nd. They used ultrasound to confirm ovulation and something like 96-97% of women ovulate within that 4 day window, no matter what their temps said.

 

[nikkilucky77]

Omg. Horrible night. Last night I started spotting before bed, woke up to nothing. Couldn't sleep at all!! Was up damn near every half hour to an hour & was sometimes awake for another hour before I could fall back asleep. So didn't temp. Wish I would have but no. Lol

I'm in the same boat as you ...I did temp but it was lower than usual...or maybe that is because it is chilly in the bedroom. UGH

 

[nikkilucky77]

ClandestineTX: I agree...it is a lot of work! I am ready to get the 9 months going...get the whole pregnancy thing done lol. I also agree that I am uncertain how I feel about the infancy thing. I teach 4-5 year olds and I love seeing their personalities shine through but babies make me a bit nervous. I tell myself that it is because they aren't my baby...I am hoping that is the case