...@ClandestineTX Thank you! We have been working so hard to keep focus and work on ourselves. Things like this really shake it though. I'm trying to walk every day to get some control back and to try to be in the peak shape if/when we are able to try again. I've been doing so well, but this hurt that focus. However, I'm doing well again. I know in my head that we have to keep focus and help each other, but my heart says another thing sometimes. My head does me in sometimes as well. I really hope we do deserve a happy life and that we get it. I'm waiting for Karma to catch up.
@RaeChay I wish it was because she wanted to tell us first, but she's been spreading it around for a while. We knew since April, but we didn't want to say that we knew. After his mother told us she said she assumed we did know because of Facebook. ?!!? Then let it go. If we want to talk about it, then we will talk about it! I completely agree. I know one reason people don't mention it is because they think it will make it too hard on me or that I seem to be doing okay. They may or may not realize that I think about it every day and nearly all day. I want her to be treated like an actual member of the family. I want to hear her name and sweet remembrances of her. Yes, it might make me cry. But not hearing it does not make me forget. It just makes me feel more alone than I already do. I understand about the season change. A lot of little things like that hurt. Trying to decide what to eat when I wasn't eating for both of us, seeing my stomach tone back up when she should still be in there, or even just looking outside at the sun and everything turning green.
well, I have a very faint BFP! Beta isn't until Tuesday.... will probably test again with a FRER on Sunday
We have never gotten a bfp when ttc these past few years, so this is very excitingHowever, we are pretty cautious people, so we haven't told anyone yet, probably tell the close family that knows we went through IVF this cycle after the second beta if all looks good - since they'll be wondering...
I don't think it'll really sink in for OH til the ultrasound... lol
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ok, so 2 days later - my beta is 121 up from 66. same time of day, so according to betabase calc, that is a 55hr doubling time.
FX!