MC#10 at 4w6d~ I need some positive vibes. Page 159.

[smileyfaces]

Any tests today Stuck? Xxx

 

[stuckinoki]

Nothing new...

I did speak to my nurse this morning. I needed a refill of progesterone and thyroid meds. I told her that I had a positive pregnancy test but that I didn't want any quants or bloods or testing or anything.

She was so super nice. Said she completely understood and that given our situations in that past, she would probably do the same as me.

She said if I hit the 6 week mark, to call and they'll get me in for an ultrasound.

It made my day! I just love my doctors office and the staff.

 

[Mrskg]

bettybee i started aspirin from day of bfp at 3wks 4 days x the hospital seem to think it is this rather than the prog that has helped but ive had no tests to prove this x ive to take it till 34 weeks x

 

[MoBaby]

Awww yay!! Glad she understood!!

 

[Mrskg]

great news stucki xxx

 

[MegnJoe]

Awesome stucki!!!!! I'm glad the office isn't pushing u to do anything u don't wsnt. Nothing sucks more than a pushy doctor & staff

 

[stuckinoki]

Check out my OPK progression

https://i48.tinypic.com/2j8wwp.jpg

 

[Charliegirl27]

Check out my OPK progression

https://i48.tinypic.com/2j8wwp.jpg

Looking good

 

[maureenmarsh]

yippie

 

[MegnJoe]

woo!!!

 

[bexxc]

oooh! your opks look fab! perhaps you just have a slow riser. that progression shows things are moving along!

 

[x Michelle x]

Woo hoo!! Lookin good!!

 

[Babee_Bugs]

eee thats cheating doing Opks

but suppose its not HPT's lol x

 

[stuckinoki]

I sure hope so.

 

[stuckinoki]

I can't keep myself from testing.

I'm just so scared something is going to go wrong with this pregnancy. It almost feels like I'm dooming it to fail, but I'm a worrier by nature.

 

[maureenmarsh]

I totally understand how you feel

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Its totally understandable

Just trying to add some humour to break up any stress x

 

[stuckinoki]

Well, it's not a slow riser...

I freaking hate all of this.

I'm so angry; at myself, for being excited and thinking that we were actually going to have a baby, and at God, for letting me suffer through 9 losses and 3.5 years of stress on myself and my marriage.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life now. All I've ever wanted was to be a Mother, and if I can't do that, what am I supposed to do?

How am I supposed to live the rest of my life watching everyone around me fall pregnant, and raise a family while all I can do is watch and wonder what it would be like to be them!

What am I supposed to say as I alienate my friends and family members because I can't stand to watch them be pregnant and prepare to expand their families?

How is this fair?

I've done nothing in my life to deserve this kind of hurt.

I'm a nice person, I genuinely care and want to help others. I waited until I was married and that our marriage was secure and debt free to try for a baby...I mean, that's THE WHOLE REASON WE GOT MARRIED...was to start a family. What am I supposed to do now?

How are we going to spend the rest of our lives together, alone. Staring at each other and secretly blaming the other person for all of our loss.

How do you fill that whole where your children are supposed to be?

What did I do to deserve this?




https://i50.tinypic.com/acwl0x.jpg

https://i47.tinypic.com/117y14j.jpg

https://i49.tinypic.com/2lizax0.jpg

https://i50.tinypic.com/2hx38rn.jpg

 

[sjwebb]

Stuck, I don't even know what to say right now, but NONE absolutely NONE of this is your fault. I know that nothing anyone says will make you feel better You are in my thoughts.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

When did you take these??? FMU or afternoon?

This happened yesterday though right??? and then there were darker/normal when you re-tested???

Didnt MegnJoe mention something about the progestrone that your taking affecting the HCG???

I know its soo easy to think the worse all the time, because sometimes that all we know, but there is soo many factors of whats what at the minute. I really hope the tests are wrong