Messed up big time!!!..update on hubby and i !!! on page 2

[Gabrielle]

well hubby decided that we could ttc but not to use any "tools", and just if it happens than it was meant to be.
WEll you ladies know how HARD that is ....sooo i got opks, put legs up etc. well today he saw on the computer all the fertility sites on was on and got so mad.
We started arguing and then he left! ;'(...i dont know what to think or do...i think i really hurt him....

im upset that this has happened but also i am realy sure im oing right now or will be shortly and we only bd yesterday and thats it...so def probly wont be my month.....

what do i do...i called him he wont aneswer...its 11pm here...and he texted me and i said sorry and explained everything...but what do i do? i dont think he will want to ttc after i kinda lied to him......

Why does ttc have to be soooo hard.....?

 

[Gabrielle]

btw ...i told him if he wont get me preggers than i will get a sperm donor...obviously just talking stupid cause i was sooooo upset! that made him leave! ...

 

[Suz]

 

[Gabrielle]

im the worst wife in the world right now....

 

[Frippledip]

Awww...don't say that....you are NOT the worst wife in the world! I know I'm new to this site, and I don't really know anyone very well, but I still want to give support when and wherever it's needed.

I think the best thing to do is make sure that when you do talk, you communicate...make sure you both hear each other. Don't worry, you'll get past this.

 

[tmr1234]

dnt worry about it men have thes little kick offs he will be back with hes tail between hes legs. just think of the make up lol
try not to worry hun he loves you wnt be gone for long

 

[krissi]

Aww hun TTC makes us all a little crazy, a few months back i told OH it was his fault i wasn't pg in the heat of the moment. But the arguement made us talk about it and put things in perspective, you have to find a happy medium, i explained to OH that i use this site so i don't have to bore him to death with temp readings and CP and he was OK once he understood it xxx

 

[honey08]

aaaawww keep us updated ?! poor u .. n dh ,he be bk n just say ur sry, ur gettin frustrated and it was spare of the moment thing ....even go out4 a meal and av a talk..tell him u'll talk a break (maybe this mth!) i dont know hun but sure u be fine

 

[Plumfairy]

aaaw hun sorry to hear this. i bet you are feeling awfull, but im sure he's feelin just as bad.. he probably thinks you want a baby more than him, and by saying you would use a sperm donor if he wouldnt give you a baby is pretty harsh. i'd let things cool off abit. perhaps this month wont be your month, but wouldnt you rather you conceive in happy circumstances? let things cool off and then sit down and talk with one another, and when you're BOTH ready it will happen. i think we often forget about our OH's whilst frantically TTC and i know from mine how upset he felt at times when we were just for baby making purposes, and not actually because we wanted to.. dont let your relationship suffer from what should be such a fun and happy time.. really hope you sort it out together soon.

 

[kaygeebee]

This TTC stuff is soooo hard - much harder than I thought it would be.

I hope you can work through it once he's calmer.

 

[Sparklebaby]

aw sweetcheeks.
we all say things in the heat of the moment. I grovelled so much to my hubby last night cause I realised I was such a cow the last few weeks.
As someone already said, we kinda lose the fun factor in the relationship cause ttc tends to take over, that leads to stress, that leads to late AF and the feelings of poss being pg.
I know.....I was there this month. it has made me realise just how valuable life is.
When things have calmed down, talk to him. nothing better than honesty in a relationship, especially if you are married and want a family.
Im a fine one to talk really cause I havent told mine about BnB yet but I will do soon.
I still talk to my hubs about all this, but use this site for information on things that he wouldnt ness know the answer to. hes not a woman.

awwwww I hope everything is ok for you now. take your time babes. xxxxx

 

[Gabrielle]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for you adivice!!!!!! HUGS

So he came home at 1am, he was sleeping in his truck......

But when he got home he was still really mean and we were arguing and then just went to bed......so this morning i woke up to him already gone at work!!!! he left without saying goodbye or i love you, and not even a kiss....:'(..

So texted him that i said sorry and we shouldnt drag this on...and of course i mentioned that all i want is to try and make a beautiful daughter and i wish he would just undersand how bad i want it....so yea he hasnt called or texted so maybe didnt get the messages yet??....

So i didnt sleep on top of all of this and we didnt bd yesterday at all!!! so i have that one day of bding on cd 15 when i got a positive opk and thats it....they are still positive so do you ladies think i've o'd??? do i still have a chance with that one time???.....:'(

i know i shouldnt worry about the baby but you all know its so hard to do...i work second shift so i wont even see him till 12am tonight, so should i just leave him alone and wait for him to call me..??

THis is such a mess, we never fight like this

 

[HatterasSarah]

Oh girl, I'm soooo sorry that your hubby was being such a jerk. Why can't men just ignore what WE do to get preggo...and just bang us?!?!?

I know that you all will be okay, but the meantime is definitely hard to wait through. I hope you all get better quickly, and he just realizes how badly you want this.

 

[bebe]

I am so sorry you are feeling this bad. I agree with the other post and you should explain that you use the site to talk about how you feel and how when you make the decision to ttc it kind of takes over all of your thoughts.
I am sure he would hate it more if you were talking to him about this stuff all of the time. I am sure things will be fine. He was probably just shocked and surprised.

Like you i only BD the day I got my pos OPK and the day after O so not too hopeful either.

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on

 

[lisalove]

Firstly I would like to send you my and best wishes for you during this stressful time.

My DH and I have our moments too. When we do, and its got to the point that we are not talking, I normally write down how I am feeling in a letter to him. It gives him the opportunity to really take in how I am feeling and figure how he is feeling, without being under pressure to respond like we do in a row. Cos we do say things we dont mean and its hard to take them back.

Its just an idea... if you try, I hope it works.

 

[Gabrielle]

I am so sorry you are feeling this bad. I agree with the other post and you should explain that you use the site to talk about how you feel and how when you make the decision to ttc it kind of takes over all of your thoughts.
I am sure he would hate it more if you were talking to him about this stuff all of the time. I am sure things will be fine. He was probably just shocked and surprised.

Like you i only BD the day I got my pos OPK and the day after O so not too hopeful either.

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on

thanks, the thing is i was on site about putting legs up , and peaonastick and thats what made him mad...
YOu only bd on the positive day too? how do you know that you o'd..when do you think i o'd positive opk on cd 15 and 16 , and today is cd 17 and didnt test opk yet. had bad cramps last night...? maybe o'd then.
Well hopefully we caught the egg, best time to bd is before o so hopefully speermies lived up there to meet the egg right away!!! good luck to you hun

 

[Gabrielle]

Firstly I would like to send you my and best wishes for you during this stressful time.

My DH and I have our moments too. When we do, and its got to the point that we are not talking, I normally write down how I am feeling in a letter to him. It gives him the opportunity to really take in how I am feeling and figure how he is feeling, without being under pressure to respond like we do in a row. Cos we do say things we dont mean and its hard to take them back.

Its just an idea... if you try, I hope it works.

i've thought about doing that because i have done that before and it usually helps us. i work second shift today so i might just write a letter before i leave so he can read it when he gets home while im at work...im going to leave him alone all day and hope he calls me. he is very STUBBORN so i just have to wait it out thats all, but just hate that we only bd once!
thanks for your advice sweetie

 

[Pux]

I don't want to sound like a cow but as much as you want a baby, your main focus right now should be your relationship with your DH. Yes, you need him for his spermies, but you also need a loving and supportive partner to help raise your children.
When me and my DH disagree on something or fight about something: space and compromise work wonders. If your DH feels that strongly about waiting, you should respect that (if if his reason may sound stupid!) Because if he finds out that you've tried to trick him (especially something as HUGE as having a baby) it will ruin your relationship.
My advice is: drop the baby stuff for awhile and focus on connecting with your DH. You are young and have all the time in the world to have a baby...
Good luck and Hugz.

 

[Gabrielle]

thanks pux...its not that he doent want a baby at all! we have two boys and would like a girl. he wants to ttc now its just he doesnt believe in temping, opks, leg up, etc, he says we just bd and it will happen when it happens. So i'm not tricking him at all its just i went an put legs up and used opks,so he didnt like that. its just hard ttc and not using things to help ya know. so thanks for your advice and i will focus more on him but i think you read this all wrong and we want a baby together. i would ttc without him wanting it.

 

[lisalove]

Y'know, I understand the temping and opk thing, but not sure why the legs up bothers him?? My DH tells me to get mine up higher (cheeky git), we see it as keeping the fun side. He has been known to shout his fellas on too.. lol.. we sound like a pair of nutters

I feel like I am dictating to you so i'm gonna shut up now.