Messed up big time!!!..update on hubby and i !!! on page 2

[Gabrielle]

If i do that he just gets upset because he feels thats all i wanted with the bding becasue i immed think about putting my legs up...?!?! dont ask he is werid, he wants us to just have sex when we want and not prevent and it will happen when the time is right.

 

[browneyedshorty81]

okay i have to put my 2 sence in here.. If you want to use a OPK and put ur legs up you should be able to.. it is better to know when your ovulating instead of doing it ever other day for a whole month.. with 2 kids, and working 2nd shift it is hard to get the timing right..

the fact he is not talking to you, or calling or texting you back is not cool, I would text him and say listen i love you, and i respect you, but try to understand where i am coming from.. I understand you want it to happen, when its supose to happen, but i dont agree, and communication is the key, how are we suspose to build a life together if we dont talk things out .. just be like i love u, but we need to talk about this.. going to bed mad and going to work is not okay, something could happen, at anytime and i dont want the last words we use to be fighting i love you

i mean anything could happen hun, talk to him ok.

 

[Pux]

thanks pux...its not that he doent want a baby at all! we have two boys and would like a girl. he wants to ttc now its just he doesnt believe in temping, opks, leg up, etc, he says we just bd and it will happen when it happens. So i'm not tricking him at all its just i went an put legs up and used opks,so he didnt like that. its just hard ttc and not using things to help ya know. so thanks for your advice and i will focus more on him but i think you read this all wrong and we want a baby together. i would ttc without him wanting it.

Sorry if I misunderstood... but maybe you can compromise... like could have just one "tool" such as OPK's... Instead of "legs up" do positions that are deep penetration (on all fours..) I would also remind him that if he wants a girl, the best way to do that is make sure the timing is perfect for the fast-girl spermies to reach the egg first instead of the long-lasting-boy spermies that may have been hanging around for a couple of days and what better way to do that: OPK's, charting, temping....

 

[Gabrielle]

thanks pux...its not that he doent want a baby at all! we have two boys and would like a girl. he wants to ttc now its just he doesnt believe in temping, opks, leg up, etc, he says we just bd and it will happen when it happens. So i'm not tricking him at all its just i went an put legs up and used opks,so he didnt like that. its just hard ttc and not using things to help ya know. so thanks for your advice and i will focus more on him but i think you read this all wrong and we want a baby together. i would ttc without him wanting it.

Sorry if I misunderstood... but maybe you can compromise... like could have just one "tool" such as OPK's... Instead of "legs up" do positions that are deep penetration (on all fours..) I would also remind him that if he wants a girl, the best way to do that is make sure the timing is perfect for the fast-girl spermies to reach the egg first instead of the long-lasting-boy spermies that may have been hanging around for a couple of days and what better way to do that: OPK's, charting, temping....

Yeah i agree hun! and i didnt mean to be mean if i sounded that way..just wanted to make sure you knew what i was saying! thanks for you input!

 

[Gabrielle]

okay i have to put my 2 sence in here.. If you want to use a OPK and put ur legs up you should be able to.. it is better to know when your ovulating instead of doing it ever other day for a whole month.. with 2 kids, and working 2nd shift it is hard to get the timing right..

the fact he is not talking to you, or calling or texting you back is not cool, I would text him and say listen i love you, and i respect you, but try to understand where i am coming from.. I understand you want it to happen, when its supose to happen, but i dont agree, and communication is the key, how are we suspose to build a life together if we dont talk things out .. just be like i love u, but we need to talk about this.. going to bed mad and going to work is not okay, something could happen, at anytime and i dont want the last words we use to be fighting i love you

i mean anything could happen hun, talk to him ok.

thanks for replying to this! and i know what you mean about leaving mad and something go bad..thats exactly what i said this morning!!! so he did call but i missed it..i called em back but no answer......so well see! yeah he just thinks cause i got preggo easy the first two times that we can do it again..but i want we want a girl and you need perfect timing and also i want a baby now so im not preggers in summer and also so im not when our 3yr old starts school. so its important to give lots of effort to make it happen now! ......ahhhhhhh he makes me soooo angry thanks again for you advice!

 

[ricschick]

i found i fell pregnant quicker when we just had sex when we felt like it. with my first 2 pregnacies i fell within 3 months but with the 3rd ot took 8months and i think that was down to the fact i kept an eye on ovulation and stuff then the month i got preg i just went with the flow and fell straight away. maybe he has a point. but he is going about it all wrong. MEN.

 

[jonnanne3]

I am so sorry you are having a hard time with your hubby, Gabrielle. I agree with snowbrdbella8. I think you need to be honest and let him know how you feel however you need to let him know that acting like this isn't going to make things any better. I know everyday I tell my hubby and my kids everyday I love them wether I want to strangle them or not, just in case something happens. They tell me too wether they disloke me at the moment or not too. But you two need to be on the same page in order for this to work. You two love each other obviously but communication is key here too. Good luck girl and I hope and pray all works out!

 

[Gabrielle]

well we talked breifly on the phone and things are better..didnt talk to much about baby making stuff..im just going to take it as it comes and when we bd then well maybe i will get prego...hope this works! thanks everyone for all your wonderful advice i really appriciate it!!!! lots of hugs to you all!!!!!!!

 

[Sparklebaby]

Y'know, I understand the temping and opk thing, but not sure why the legs up bothers him?? My DH tells me to get mine up higher (cheeky git), we see it as keeping the fun side. He has been known to shout his fellas on too.. lol.. we sound like a pair of nutters

I feel like I am dictating to you so i'm gonna shut up now.

lol u would laugh at my hubby then, he was trying to poke them back in again and told me to stop laughing cause it was pushing them back out lol. was a very funny evenin and cant wait to recreate it.

Hope u manage to sort things out.

 

[Sparklebaby]

well we talked breifly on the phone and things are better..didnt talk to much about baby making stuff..im just going to take it as it comes and when we bd then well maybe i will get prego...hope this works! thanks everyone for all your wonderful advice i really appriciate it!!!! lots of hugs to you all!!!!!!!

get ur butt over in chat quick lol

 

[bebe]

Glad you talked, my DH really wants me to get a BFP but doesn't want to go through the deep thoughts I keep having as in am I or aren't I? I obsess as I think lots of us do on here and he just wants to go with the flow. I do think its hard for them to understand how we feel sometimes as they don't have to feel every niggle or symptom we feel. Am sure all will be fine as I said before it's probably more shock the sites probably make him think you are trying too hard! Take care

 

[SianMA]

Maybe you could just check your cm and cp for a while - that's something you can do when you're in the bathroom and he won't be any the wiser but you will still be aware of your most likely fertile days. I'm all for letting it happen naturally but being aware of your own body is important.

 

[ninab]

awww honey if only these men could undrstand how addictive these ttc sites are. He will be back soon and you will be able to talk it through x

 

[jonnanne3]

I am glad you and hubby talked.... I hope all goes well for you.........

 

[Suz]

Im glad you talked to your hubby. You said you were sorry but if he wants to hold a grudge about it thats his mistake.

Men are very weird creatures. TTC is just as hard on them as it is us but they show it differently. They feel pressure, and when us women make it Technical, I think it makes that pressure that much worse. I know my hubby cant stand it when I talk about OPKs, temping and all that stuff. He doesnt want to know about it he just wants to get "Lucky" I dont think your hubby should get mad at your for using these tools. Its good to know how your body works.

Hopefully he will get over all this and move on with the fun part of TTC.... S. E. X. !!! Plus he is a guy, he wont go for too long without giving you some loven

 

[Sash13]

Sorry to hear this! My hubby actually decided to use my laptop last night and I'd added this site to one of my homepage tabs. Oops. He just thought I was a bit ridiculous and had joined this site prematurely. I tried to explain that there are forums for WTT and TTC but he just rolled his eyes.

Guys don't think about this kind of stuff the way we do. They don't seem to be as anxious and impatient about it and don't get as sad when AF arrives.

Give him some time and talk about it when he's ready. He probably just needs to blow off some steam.

 

[Kellie]

After reading this thread yesterday, I spoke to my fiance & asked him if he minded me being on this kind of website, thankfully he was fine about it though. I just explained that it's very helpful to talk to other peopple who are going through the same thing & straight away he understood.
He doesn't like the idea of trying too hard even though he really wants to be a Dad.
I just didn't want him to look at the history on the computer & start thinking all kinds of things.

Hope everything works out for you x x x x

 

[adzuki]

Yah, what is it about the guys and wanting to get "lucky" thing. My OH has been a pain in the butt this past week (ov time) because I dared to suggest that we BD every other day. In the past, before TTC, he would have smiled and winked and that would have been that. I try to make it romantic and sexy for him, and he's even said that these past few months, the bd-ing has been some of the best in his life. So what is his problem? I thought maybe there was ambivalence about having a baby, so I asked him, and he replied that that was not it at all. Then he got all sulky and when I tried to bring it up he didn't want to talk about it. LOL the brains of men - who does get em??? In any case, he appreciates me having this site - the more I gab/read on here, the less he has to hear about it!!! LOL

Maybe any mention of temping or timing takes away from this impression men have of being virile? As in, my sperm can live forever and do two Iron man triathlons before impregnating my wife kind of thing - they don't like it when we get in the way of that? I really don't know!

I am glad that you talked it out, and I wonder where he would like for you to go to get support, if not online? Good luck, and huge hugs!


Adzuki

 

[susan_1981]

i found i fell pregnant quicker when we just had sex when we felt like it. with my first 2 pregnacies i fell within 3 months but with the 3rd ot took 8months and i think that was down to the fact i kept an eye on ovulation and stuff then the month i got preg i just went with the flow and fell straight away. maybe he has a point. but he is going about it all wrong. MEN.

I think you are so right with what you say. Obviously ppl fall pregnant when trying and even obsessing over it but I think it's a good idea to take it easy and let nature take its course. Just look how many young girls accidentally get pregnant when they are not trying. Most things generally happen when you least expect it. I need to take my own advice though because I'm obsessing over it. I've decided though that I'm going to obsess this month and this isn't my month then we are going to take it easy.

 

[browneyedshorty81]

if u need a friend im here hun anytime