Mid-August Testers

[Srbjbex]

Hi everyone!! Just checking in to see how everyone is - I know we all have loads going on

Not really got any news to report here other than our house extension is well underway and were on track to be finished by Christmas! Oh and also I got great news that my brother and SIL are expecting their first! Which will also be Elliot's first cousin - I'm so excited for them (even though they live in Germany and wont get to see them loads). If we cant manage a sibling then a cousin is definitely the next best thing! Most pregnancy announcements hurt but this one really didn't - was absolutely over the moon for them!

 

[NotNic]

How wonderful to hear from.you Bex. Belated birthday wishes to Elliot. Did he have a good time? How lovely for there to be the prospect of a cousin for him. I'm glad you are excited. I know how tough things are for you but it's brilliant you feel okay with this announcement. Whereabouts are you with the house renovations?

Snow, late happy birthday wishes to Kennedy too. What did you do? Any update on your house or Kellan?

Hands how about you? Where are you living right now? I've lost track! Anything new with you?

Hi also to Bea and Lisette if you're peaking. Hope you and your little ones are well. Update us. It's been too long!

So tomorrow is the 1 yr anniversary of Sebbie's due date! Can't believe he is 1 on Saturday! He's crawling around and pulling himself up now. He is just getting to grips with cruising but just gets up and does stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he just gets up and walks across the floor! He is very much a mummy's boy. He's very jealous of Finlay getting a cuddle with me. He's so strong too and regularly beats Finlay up! But he's so smiley and happy that he charms everyone. Still has only two teeth and looks so much like a baby still, probably because he is small. He's about the same size Finlay was at 8mths!

Finlay is doing well at preschool but has been referred for a hearing test next month. His speech isn't brilliant. He mumbles a lot and I'm still translating for him. I'm not worried about the amount of words but he has had impacted wax in both ears so hoping that is all it is. Drops are improving things though. I've realised as well that he watches way too much TV and isn't playing enough. I'm trying to fix that but it's hard because it gives me time to get chores done. Need to get back in the habit of doing things with him.

We are also starting to view schools. I'm hating it all ready! The school that's nearest and has a good reputation was a real let down. It was tatty, messy and higgledy-piggledy. It's a CofE school too which I'm not keen on. I know loads of people whose children are there so I know it's good, but from the presentation I knew more about the local church than I did about the school! Have no idea how the week is structured or how they learn. Based on just the visit alone I wouldn't put it down, so luckily I do know lots.of students there and know how much they love it. I have also seen the Free School (which is a different type of school where they don't have to run classes in a.traditional manner) and it was really good. However it's a longish walk and they have such tiny classes so the chance of getting in is miniscule. It's such a frustrating process!

 

[InHisHands]

Bex - Are you keeping track of cycle days still? What all did you do for Elliot's Birthday? I think a cousin is great news for Elliot!

Snow - How is Kellan's progress going?

Nic - School hunting can be a bit overwhelming for sure! Hang in there though... worse case scenario is that Finlay hates it and you change schools. It sounds like Sebbie has a personality all of this own... lol Does he and Finlay resemble each other?

As for us, We are working full speed 12 hr days X 6 days a week at our renovation. We should be done around Thanksgiving and we will be moved in by Christmas. So much work to be done.. ugh! We are still in Georgia and are just moving to a town 30 minutes away (but within the same metropolitan area).

The schools there are absolutely horrendous so I will keep Dexter in his private school until he hits 1st grade. At that point I'm not sure what we will do if we are still here.

Dexter by the way is excelling quite nicely at school and has hit a language phase where he points to a letter and says A "aaaaa" Apple or P "pah" Popcorn and he is using more complicated words into sentences like "suppose to" "appreciate" "restaurant" "renovation". It is a relief to see the boost of language since it has been a struggle for such a long time.

He is still a strong willed, independent child like he has been from day one ... but he is doing so much better. Our biggest battle right now is over the fridge and T.V. hahahaha

 

[NotNic]

Yep Sebbie does have his own personality Reading it back I haven't described him very favourably at all, which is completely wrong. Sebbie is content, giggly and smiley. He interacts with everyone and is almost a dream. He loves to cuddle and give kisses. It's really rare for him to be upset but he's happy to tell you no or to shout out on the occasions he's not happy with something. He's also become quite determined. If he wants something then he goes and gets it. He's pretty straightforward though, whereas Finlay would just generally be upset and you'd not have a clue why. He's still like that. He could whine for Britain! Everyone tells me they look alike. Side by side, I don't really see it. They photograph similarly though but it might be an expression thing. To me Sebbie looks a lot like my Oh does now (though nobody else sees it) whereas Finlay is his spit at the same age. I can't see that Finlay will look like Oh all that much when he's older though. He has a very different shaped face and profile. Sebbie has Ohs nose and similar lips. He laughs and smiles the same way too. Finlay has dimples when he grins like me (well I have one dimple).

Great to hear that Dexter is coming on. You must be so pleased.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hands - yes, im keeping track of my cycles still!! But i can't not do it...if that makes sense!? Ive had 2 periods now since my op, and OH and I have at least given ourselves until Christmas to try naturally to have a rest from hospitals and procedures! We'll reassess after Christmas if we want to go for ivf.

Glad to hear dexter is doing so well...sounds like he's really growing up! Elliot is too, he can write his name now without any help from me which I'm super proud of.

Great news about your renovation. Thanksgiving is not so far away now!

Nic - we had a gymboree party fir elliot which was brilliant. We had 18 friends there and all we really needed to do was show up! We knew we wouldnt be able to have at home anyway because of the building work so this was a great option and elliot loved it.

House is coming on really well. I think we're on track to be finished by Christmas still. Structure is now done and we're onto first fit electrics and plumbing next. Im so excited about it...it's really taking shape.

School wise we have a whole year on top of finlay. But hopefully it should be very straightforward for us as we live in a village and he will just go to the local village school which is a good school. When do you have to decide by? Could you put the free school as first choice and the c of e as second as a back up?

Also what have you decided about going back to work???

 

[snowflakes120]

Hi girls. Long time no talk. I have loads to catch up on. Life has been very hectic but starting to settle a bit. I'm sorry to go missing. Hopefully I can keep up a bit more. I miss the chats. Sounds like everyone is doing well.

Where to start. Well we are in the house. Finally. We were supposed to move in in August. It ended up being late September. I love the house but we have so much stuff it is going to take months til we are fully unpacked with everything. Its a work in progress.

Onto Kellan, we had him evaluated by 2 people for ASD. A psychologist and a developmental/behavior pediatrician - both have told us that he is not on the spectrum. The developmental ped wants us to go back in 6 month to discuss his speech. So alot of his issues we are told are coming from the Sensory Processing Disorder that he has. He goes to Occupational Therapy once a week. We are seeing some good progress with it and he is learning to regulate himself. He is very much speech delayed. We are just starting (like this week) to hear some 2 word phases such as baby walk, baby toy, Hi Momma etc. He is starting up his speech therapy on Tuesday. We had to wait since we switched counties. I hope he continues to increase his vocabulary and communication since he whines alot. He started a 2 year old preschool program in early Sept. It was a rough start but he loves it now and gets excited to go. He goes MWF from 9-12. He really enjoyed Halloween and it was great to be able to enjoy it with him. He is such a sweet and loving little boy.

Kennedy turned 1! We had a small party which was a blast. She is still a little peanut. I go on Tuesday for her 1 year well check. She is prolly around 17 pds. And is still very short. She is just a petite little thing. She is wearing pjs currently that Kellan wore at 6 months old! Like Sebbie, she only has 2 bottom teeth. Not walking. But is crawling and pulling up on everything. Couch cruising and will push her walker when Kellan isn't taking it away from her. lol. I am still breastfeeding her but am starting to try to wean. Table foods aren't going well. We are in feeding therapy for her but she is making progress which is good. Sleep has been awful since the move. She is up 4-6x a night. It's horrible. I don't know what to do. She is very much a mommas girl and love it since Kellan has always been daddys boy. I am enjoying seeing her blossom.

We are just keeping busy with the house and the kids. I am excited that it is fall. It's my favorite time of year. Can't wait for the holidays.

 

[InHisHands]

Great to hear from you snow! I'm so glad that Kellan is getting the help he needs and that the doctors are seeming to gear away from autism.

Hang in there with the move. We tend to not gather clutter with how much we move. It isn't until you move though that you realize how much you have accumulated!

Does Kennedy have a similar personality as Kellan?


As for Dexter - I noticed something severely wrong two weeks ago when he started to describe things... and my fear was confirmed. My little guy is Color Blind. We go back in a week for further analysis but as of right now we know that the only colors he can see are shades of white, blue, yellow, brown, and black.

Red-Green color blind is considered such a mild disorder and I am truly thankful that it isn't something worse... but it makes me so sad to know he will never see orange, red, purple,pink or green in his life.

I have a little break down every time he comes up to me and talking about how how something green is brown or like yesterday he came up to me with one of those Rocket popsicles (red top, white center, blue bottom) and he was so excited and said momma... it has ALL THE COLORS! (he saw brown, white, and blue)

*sigh*

.... Anyways... everyone will have to send an updated pictures of our kiddos when we get a chance. So much changes over the course of a few months.

 

[Srbjbex]

Here's a couple of my absolute favourite pics of Elliot from recently! He really is looking grown up now. He was proud as punch to get his Level 8 Certificate at gymnastics bless him!

Hands - both my brothers are red green colour blind, try not to worry - unless Dexter has a desperate desire to be a fighter pilot it shouldn't impact his life in any way. Yes, he wont see colours like we do, but he will see them in his own way, which for him is exciting in itself! If he's anything like my brother, he will just criticise your choice of décor, haha!! Oh and the only other time I think it has impacted them, is (because they have both always played football) if the 2 teams on the pitch are in green and red - difficult to distinguish when you are passing the ball!

Snow - so great to hear from you! Fantastic news that your moved into your house - our extension is on track to be done by Christmas so I'll try and get some updated photos soon! Happy Birthday Kennedy!! Sorry that you little ones are both struggling with different aspects but sounds like you are getting lots of support. Glad Kellan is enjoying preschool, I definitely believe it's good for them, it always amazes me when Elliot sings a new song, or plays a new game that he learnt at nursery!

 

[InHisHands]

It is hard for me to keep him still long enough to take a picture but I managed to get these earlier this week.

 

[snowflakes120]

Awe. I'm so sorry Dex is color blind Hands. I'm sure he will adapt well and see his own ways of colors. He's soooo big and adorable.

Great job on level 8. Love Elliot's pics. Such a heartbreaker!

Going to attach some pics here soon.

 

[InHisHands]

Kitchen BEFORE and AFTER

 

[snowflakes120]

Looks gorgeous Hands! Amazing transformation. Love the countertops and the brick lay floor! Just simply beautiful. What a great change. So worth it! Really love it!

 

[Srbjbex]

Looks fab Hands! So kucth lighter and brighter ! Are you pleased with it?

 

[InHisHands]

I am pleased with how the kitchen turned out. I'm just relieved all the colors I picked out went together (as we didn't hire a interior designer and I just went with my own eye for material choices).

Our carpet install has been an absolute disaster and we are still working on trying to get it fix. We are now at corporate level in the complaint compartment because so far the installer has came out 5 different times and each time he just keeps making it worse. *sigh*

But that can wait because tomorrow is turkey day and I have a nice new.... smell free kitchen to work in.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi ladies - I had some bad news on Tuesday, it was my trial embryo transfer. Unfortunately it failed. Whereas he thought he was now able to 'find a way through' after the work he did in my op, the needle for the transfer was still getiing stuck in the 'false passage' and there was no way he would be able to get an embryo into my womb. He tried for the best part of an hour with all sorts of different methods etc, but couldn't find a way

So IVF is still not something we can look at - I was ready to start this in the new year and now I feel like we are back at square one again. Consultant has told me not to give up, but I will be looking at more surgery....open, risky surgery...I don't know if I can go there again. I was geared up for it before but don't know if I can do it. the risks are bad.... lifetime catheter, or hysterectomy are the worst case scenarios and there is a 1-10% chance of this.

I've cried a lot, and boiled it down to the following options:
1) Accept we will have 1 child, accept it and move on
2) Go for the surgery in the light of the risks, on the hope I could then do IVF
3) Consider a surrogate (as my eggs are plentiful) - I have a friend who potentially might help....she has flippantly said in the past she would.
4) Consider adoption - another friend is going through this right now, so I have learnt a bit about the process along the way.

I don't know, I cant believe this is happening. My consultant said to me I am the most complicated, difficult case he has ever come across, and he's going to take my scans etc to conference to discuss with other gynaecologists.

I think I am leaning towards adoption, and OH is too - he doesn't want me to go through any more procedures as he knows how much I've already been through.

 

[InHisHands]

sorry to hear that bex.

I know how badly you want another child.

Have you decided that surgery is completely out of the question?
Are you going to ask your surrogate friend?

I have seen adopted kids go both ways. Some it has really worked out great and others it has been a worst nightmare. If this is a route you decide on, make sure you do your research.

One of my friends adopted a boy and a girl when they already had a boy of their own. All three kids thrived to be smart well rounded teenagers and are super close to each other.

Another friend of mine is really struggling. Her adopted kid has an attachment disorder because she wasn't properly taken care of before being adopted. Attachment disorders aren't reversible and will often lead to boarderline personality disorder or sociopath when they become adults.


No matter what you decide, I will be here supporting you. I wish I could just give you big hugs right now.

 

[NotNic]

Bex would you need an operation for your own health or comfort? Very sorry to hear that it wasn't good news for you xxx

 

[Srbjbex]

Nic - no I wouldn't need an operation for my own health, in fact the bladder consultant I spoke to advised against it, as my bladder is perfectly healthy and the risks of permanent damage are relatively high (c.1-10%)

Hands - surgery is definitely not out of the question. I need to wait until the new year when my gyn will come back to me with a plan of attack. I'll hear him out in and listen to what he suggests (he pleaded with me last week not to give up - I think I am a personal challenge for him!) but it all just seems so remote....more surgery and recovery, potential risks, then checking it all works, then IVF which has no guarantees anyway, another baby just feels so so far away

Surrogacy is not an option for now - my friend who has casually mentioned it is going through her own journey (she has the BRCA mutation and has just had a double mastectomy which ended in complications) even though I know she would do anything to help me, I don't know if I would ask it of her at this time in her life when she has gone through so much herself recently.

I'm exploring more on the adoption front for a bit as think this might be our favoured option at the moment, but they wouldn't let me progress anything on an adoption front until more time had passed anyway - they normally stipulate a 6 month 'grieving' period between ending fertility treatment and pursuing adoption.

BUT our kitchen extension is nearly complete, just waiting on flooring really now then I can send you all some photos!

 

[snowflakes120]

Oh Bex, I am so sorry to hear this news. My heart aches for you. Sending lots of hugs. The surgery sounds very risky and potentially still isn't a baby guarantee. Adoption to me seems to be a good fit. As Hands said, I would most likely try for an infant to avoid the things she said. An old coworker is currently in the process. The baby was born a few weeks early, is currently still the hospital gaining weight til they can bring him home. It was a rough few years of waiting. 2 girls pulled out on them so they grieved alot after each of those failed adoptions. I am very happy that this one is working out for them. I will say prayers for you. Share your kitchen pics when it is complete!

I was coming on to share some Christmas pictures I took of the kiddos. I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday season. xoxo

https://i67.tinypic.com/28vei6f.jpg

https://i65.tinypic.com/30sge88.jpg

https://i65.tinypic.com/o8gwgx.jpg

https://i63.tinypic.com/fyfqee.jpg

 

[Srbjbex]

Merry Christmas to my wonderful mid August friends. I love you all ladies....4 years and counting!!