Mid June and July Firecrackers Group Due June/July 2017!

[Girly922]

I seriously don't understand the flat on your back position, your birth canal isn't in the right position for baby's exit for one thing. Hands and knees, squatting, standing up. All good positions with the added bonus of gravity helping.
With the monitors being able to be wireless these days too, there's no reason to wire you up and stick you in a bed. The more you move, the more active you are the quicker you dilate. There are studies proving it, so why is it not common practice now?

Thanks guys, the support helps me find the energy to argue my case with evidence based facts and research to fight for what I deserve.

 

[Weebles]

Pretty, that sounds like it might be BH! It's exactly what I thought too.

Girly, you've pretty much summed up everything I've been panicking about. But really, they cannot do anything without your consent and so your best defense is knowledge and your support person. I have some worries about my DH as well. I know we're on the same page but I just get scared anyway and I'm not really sure why.

I don't understand the on your back thing either. I was even told during the labor and delivery class I went to that you can labor anyway you like but for delivery they want you to lay down. I really don't want to, especially since I broke my pelvis and I want to do everything I can to deliver vaginally. I'm bringing it up with my obgyn next week.

 

[second.time]

I guess flat on the back is easier access for the doctor and more comfortable, especially if the woman is pushing for a long time. But while I'm sympathetic to how hard doctors and nurses work, it's still the mother's experience, and she should be in control as much as possible.

I wish we had birthing centers around this area but there just aren't any! Not even many midwives. So I'm making do with what I have and hoping to be able to stick up for myself when the time comes. I'm hoping all of us have great birth experiences!

 

[DobbyForever]

Girly, that’s insane. You absolutely have a right to choose. I’m also with Weebles about making sure you have a support person handy who will help back you up if they try to push you in a direction you are not comfortable with. It was a big reason I did decide to ask my friend to be my doula, because (like you said) you’ll be tired and focused on pushing and exhausted so you need someone who knows your rights and can fight for you. As long as hubs knows what you want going in, I think you’re solid

And say what?! Spouses can’t stay overnight?! What kind of insanity is that?!

Second glad the appointment went well. I can’t believe it’s pre-register and two week time already! Ahhh!

Weebles you’ve got this!

Afm was able to move my 3 hour glucose test to the weekend so that was nice knowing I don't have to miss a day or do sub plans. Phew!

 

[808malia]

At my hospital spouses can't stay overnight unless you pay for a suite $150 a night! I hope I won't need one, but if I do I'll pay the ransom just to have my hubby with me

 

[DobbyForever]

Wow. I'm going to have to ask about mine. That's crazy. I would lose my s* if my support person wasn't allowed overnight

 

[PrettyInInk42]

At the hospital I'm delivering at, there are 3 post delivery room options: 4 patients in one room, 2 patients in one room (semi-private), and private rooms. If you get a private room (which I've requested) then you can have whoever you want stay over. But if you're in a room with anyone else, the other patient(s) have the right to say they don't want your support person spending the night. You have the right to deny theirs too though. If there aren't any private rooms available when it's time for me to move after delivery, I may end up in a semi-private for a bit. If the other patient says they don't want BD to stay, I'd probably lose my shit and possibly ask to be released from the hospital early.

 

[Girly922]

Fortunately there aren't too many reasons hospitals here keep you in for extended periods, most people gett to recover in their delivery room and are discharge same day/next day depending on time of birth. If you do have to transfer to the postnatal ward, it's bays of 6 or 8 women so has visiting hours until 11pm for spouses/birth partners but no overnights. In that scenario I would be close to discharging myself!

I know DH knows exactly what I want, and is on board with the birth I want. He knows how well it can go from when we had DD. But his biggest fear is losing one of us.

Second, that's a shame there are no birthing centres nearby, but I really hope you get the birth experience you want.

Dobby, that's great you were able to move your appointment!

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Weebles.. how did I not know you broke your pelvis? I did too in four places which is why one of the doctors in my practice is pushing for A C section. I want to give birth vaginally and I also mentioned squatting to my doctor...

As far as the hospital Im delivering at, they have beds in the room for the spouse to spend the night. There's no way I'm going anywhere where my dh can't stay with me..

 

[Maries_s]

Oh my! I'm glad that my hospital only have private rooms. With my DD I had to pay for a private room in order to have my husband with me. Otherwise, I would have ended in a share room and they don't allowed men into that room.
Pretty that sounds like a BH. Other way to know is touch 4 points (like a diamond) around your belly button and if they feel hard is a BH.

 

[DobbyForever]

If they don't put me in a private room (my doula said she's never seen anybody sharing a room at my hospital) I will go home. They'd have to sedate me because I will tabtrum. Hidesight I think the video showed a couch that transitions into a bed for your support person.

 

[lesondemavie]

Do you all have me frantically searching for room info at my hospital. All of my friends have had private rooms and no problems, so i just assumed it was like that everywhere. Looks like all of the rooms are private and DH can spend the night. They say the L&D rooms are big and spacious and nice with all of the amenities, but after delivery you are often moved down to a postpartum room which is super small and only has a reclining chair for DH to sleep in. Our tour is in early June so I guess I'll get to see it then, and ask Qs. I'm hoping for just one night and that they keep you in L&D until night two.

 

[second.time]

I loved our spacious room in our old hospital. It had two beds; maybe during crowded times I would have been sharing it with another mom, but in late November it was pretty quiet and they let my husband stay with me for two nights. I'm wondering if the chairs here unfold and allow the partner to stay the night, but to be honest, with my son, I'm not sure what I'd prefer. The hospital is only like 15 minutes from our home and it might be easier for my husband to sleep at home with our son for a night or two. I know it would be hard to be on my own, especially with the newborn, but I also don't want my husband to be sleep-deprived and my son to be confused because we both vanish overnight without him (my mom will be with us, fingers crossed, but he hasn't been away from both of us overnight very often). It's a tough call. My dearest hope is that I'll have a short stay!

 

[second.time]

Oh, I also just noticed my hospital offers a birthing bar (the attachment that helps you squat during pushing). I guess that's a good sign that they don't make you stay on your back the whole time?

 

[Weebles]

Gagrl- I broke my hip and pelvis 10+ years ago when a four wheeler rolled over on me. I was told at the time I'd never be able to deliver vaginally again but my obgyn is of the mind that there's no way to know for sure until you try. I was worried about needing an emergency c-section if the baby got stuck but he told me it makes no difference to him if a c-section is planned ahead of time or not as he does the same thing either way. I think the only question he asked was if I have any hardware but I do not so I'm giving it a go. Mine only broke in one place but he said it's the ligaments that do the expanding anyway.

Because I work at a hospital my insurance covers more if I use that one so... I won't be delivering where I had my son.. There you stay in the private delivery room the entire time and it was sooo nice. I was freaking out for a bit because my work's web page says that both their delivery and maternity rooms are semi private but that is just a typo.. the delivery rooms are private although only a couple have tubs. After a couple hours you move to maternity which you might have to share with one other person and if you do your spouse cannot stay the night. Luckily my Dr (and therefore his patients) gets preferential treatment and he likes the mothers to be by themselves. One of my friends (same Dr) even got to stay in the labor room for an extra night because it wasn't possible to not share in maternity. (Policy is a minimum of one overnight or 24 hours, something like that.). I want to be there as little as poasible. Maternity is just like any other floor on the hospital and not cozy at all. We are all due at pretty much the busiest time of year so chances of getting a roommate are a lot higher. I think most places do what they can to try to bunk a new patient with one that is discharging soon because they understand wanting the privacy.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Using a birthing bar was an option on my birth plan paperwork too. So, I selected it to try.

 

[DobbyForever]

I think birthing bars were on my birth plan, but I don't know anything lol. I figure I'll go to the childbirth class and make a decision from there. Basically my birth plan is, I want f*ing flexibility cuz I'm gonna do what I want when I want don't piss me or SO off because you won't appreciate it. Except with much less attitude hahaha

In before rant.

Now I understand why wedding planning is so stressful... trying to plan activities is annoying af. I couldn't get any bakery to respond for my actual baby shower cake, and those that did said they need 6-8 weeks notice! So Safeway cake it is. Going to go in Saturday and order it so I can order it at the one near my mom's instead of trying to drive across a bridge with a cake lol.

Then on to photography. Got a dress and gown on Amazon for cheap (looks cheap but it fits and is the right color so idaf), but again none of the photographers (including one I have worked with before or contacts through friends) are getting back to me! Meanwhile, I'm closing in on that 30 week sweet spot for photos. Especially with this weekend being off limits (GD test and mother's day), then baby shower next, and after is a holiday weekend.... And I want it on location so it's not something I can just pop into a studio for. UGHHHH

 

[lesondemavie]

Haha Dobby, I actually loved planning our wedding, but having nearly a year to do it helped. I just knocked one thing out each month. Sounds like you're just on a tight timeline. They say to take mat photos between 30-35 weeks so you've got some time, and even then you'll make it work. We had to compromise and do ours a bit early to get our wedding photographer. Hope you find someone great who can do it soon

 

[DobbyForever]

Everyone I have talked to said 28-30 and, for me (I'm shallow), right now is perfect. I'm already starting to hate the extra weight and way my bump looks. And I've seen my friends at 33-35 weeks... that's not how I want to look in these photos. Plus the location I want is a beach/lighthouse and there are some places I can't safely access if I'm too pregnant.

The time helps. I found wedding planning easier. Everyone gets back to you so quickly when you're shelling out $20k lol. But when it's one or a couple hundred it's like wtf nobody responds r_r

 

[Mummafrog]

Malia you are not alone! I am leaking milk too hehe. I started around 23 weeks but I did with my first pregnancy too. It's entirely normal to not leak at all or to leak a bit or a lot so no one worry about it it doesn't have anything to do with how much milk you'll have at birth.

Love the discussions about birth and hearing you all ready to be upright and active and have advocates for your choices I birthed my first baby at home in water and it was the most amazing experience of my life and I believe in you all.
Girly I'm also feeling very very upset and drained about 'the fight' today. I saw a horrid consultant who tried to terrify me into hospital birth and kept saying she's not 'happy' with my decision, erm I don't care if you're happy?! So I went to see the head midwife who was much more gentle and encouraging and just recommends growth scans every 3-4 weeks.
I have currently consented to the growth scans but have decided to decline seeing the consultant again, I don't need the negativity and they don't check my health at all they literally just sit and try to scare me.
Currently I just want to crawl into a hole until I have my baby in my arms and they can't keep poking and prodding anymore. I know what's right for me and baby, I know where I feel safest.

Anyway.. rant over. I have been getting the bedroom turned around and ready for baby, got the changing unit set up with a brand new mat waiting for baby and bought a new car seat which seems brilliant, can't wait to try it out.
My birth pool is here, going to do a trial blow up of it in a few weeks