Mid June and July Firecrackers Group Due June/July 2017!

[lesondemavie]

Flueky - I'll still be planning a ton. I'm super type-A. My nursery theme will be a sort of boho wild reading adventure, we will have a name picked out (one that works for a boy or girl), we'll have clothes, diapers, etc. Everything you need for a baby. Really no need to know the sex to plan or be ready . Hope you have a beautiful ultrasound next week

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg I tested up a little that was so beautifully stated. I'm not a mom yet but I am a teacher. So while I know it's messy, your clear vision and love and passion are half the battle. I'm so sorry people impose still. I had that for a while once I moved jobs and my coworkers started getting into my business and giving opinions.

As for my mom, she was the best mom and is still so I'd love to see her glow with Asian first born male syndrome lol

Fluek can't wait to hear how your baking soda test goes!!!

 

[second.time]

Dobby, congratulations on the scan! So cool! I don't know what my son's heart rate was earlier in the pregnancy, but it stayed at 150-ish BPM from 12 weeks onward. This baby was at 167 BPM at nine weeks.

Lesondemavie, sounds like we're on the same page in terms of gender! I also kept my own name after marriage (it just felt right to me, although I know a lot of women who changed names and are very thoughtful about gender issues). We did find out his sex at 20 weeks with my son, but most if not all of his newborn clothes are gender-neutral. We even had people thinking he was a girl because of his outfits sometimes. Now that he's four, I try to be open to whatever he's interested in. If he chooses a ruffly pink umbrella instead of an Avengers umbrella, no big deal to me.

We're team yellow this time. It's my last pregnancy and I want to see what it's like. I'd love a girl so I could have one of each, but of course I'd love a boy too.

The problem is that both sides of our family are very outspoken about wanting it to be a girl. I'm worried that they'll be disappointed if he's a boy. I don't want my baby welcomed into the world with disappointment! It makes me feel defensive and protective of him. Anybody have hints on how to graciously deflect those comments? I don't want to be rude, but I don't see why people express such a strong opinion when there's a 50% chance the baby will be a boy! It's not like I can change anything. I feel like they're trying to custom-order a baby.

 

[Mummafrog]

I'd just like to say, as a gender neutral/masculine identifying person, it fills me with joy to read this chat and think of all these little babies who will be free to explore and find themselves with the support of loving parents. Accepting and valuing your child for who they really are will give them strength and a sense of self worth and it's great that you're thinking these things through already.
I personally choose to find out the gender because I struggle with bonding in pregnancy and it helps me project more of an idea of who is coming, even if gender really has no bearing on who a person is, especially as a baby/child! But we won't have the 3d scans as what the face looks like is what we want to be a surprise hehe
I can't stand the gendered clothing either and will have an array of colours for either! My family is thankfully quite good at listening to us about that and try to buy different colours. I don't mind a few pink or blue things otherwise it kinda defeats the point I remember my baby girl had a dark blue baby grow and she looked so beautiful in it

My sickness has been slightly better the last couple of days and I do think I actually had a stomach bug as well but couldn't differentiate it from the pregnancy symptoms.. but I get really dizzy and weak sometimes and was crying in the bath today because I didn't have the strength to get out my poor partner haha.

We have our booking appointment on Tuesday which will be nice.

 

[DobbyForever]

Glad to hear your sickness is dissipating. .

I completely understand the bonding. It makes it real. And everybody needs something different to click. For me, it's the heartbeat. I love my baby from the moment the pink dries, but the heartbeat makes it real. But I have always fallen fast and hard. My grandmother says it's because the women in our family fall in love crazy haha.

It is crazy to think that I could know in one month if little Dobs is a boy or girl though. And as much as I wish I didn't cave tostereotypes, I'd be lying if I didn't see Girl Dobs doing mommy and me hip hop and Boy Dobs getting in hockey skates and football. I'd be just as happy vice versa but that's my mind's go to

 

[Girly922]

We'll be staying team yellow again, but I'll be having a go at lots of the old wives tales. Every single one was wrong with DD, everything said boy. Lol. Because we were team yellow with her we have a ton of gender neutral clothing and accessories. We also have a fair amount of boys clothes because if I like it, I put DD in it. She loves all things superheroes and dinosaurs so she doesn't complain!

Got my 12wk scan date through today, I was impressed at how quick it came through. So scan date 11th January, I'll be exactly 12 weeks and it's the week of my birthday.

 

[lesondemavie]

Second that's lovely that you found out the sex of the baby and things still remained fairly neutral, and I agree that changing your name does not make you closed to gender issues. It's about choice and the individual/couple not about tyranny. My dream is that every couple feels free to sit down and figure out what works best for them and that all options are on the table including the traditional one. My husband had a really hard time with the conversation at first, which shocked me. For the 6 years we dated, I had joked about flipping a coin to choose which name we used if we ever married. Guess he thought I was just joking, but in the end I'd come around. I've asked him to hyphenate with me when the baby is born and then we can all have the same last name. I think he's warming to the idea, but we'll see. I know all too well how the thought of a name change can be very emotional. I get the whole feeling about the family being disappointed. I feel the same way about my sister and bff, but I think it's just fun for them and it'll all melt away when they first meet the baby. Have you told them how you feel?

Mumma - That's so funny that you said "/masculine identifying person." On those silly tests it guesses that I'm man every single time. I always find it funny bc even though I feel out of step with the mainstream image and I didn't fit into the girly cliques at school, I identify very much as a woman. I just don't think men have a monopoly on science and rational thinking and the outdoors. I totally get the need for bonding. I'm having a hard time with that bc I'm still just expecting to lose this baby too. Hoping the feeling will pass a bit more in second tri.

 

[Mummafrog]

Leson - I'm glad you did what felt right for you at the end of the day. I took my partner's name because I preferred it and all my family are divorced but his all have the same name so all that matters is it's what makes you feel right.

Heh you can be a woman who is less stereotypical gender is not about what you do or like! But I am closer to trans masculine so it's a different thing.
It's a colourful world, eh?

Feel so sick.. but managed some house work and revision today so proud of myself

 

[lesondemavie]

Mumma - Yes, such a wonderful spectrum of identities! May I ask - so it's like a step further? I feel like I possess many traits that are considered masculine, but still strongly identify as a woman (just maybe not feminine?). Is it that you don't just identify with masculine traits but rather feel more male, yet choose to still identify as a woman?

And the joy you expressed is even more meaningful now . I apologize for misunderstanding!

 

[Weebles]

Haven't posted here in awhile not but these last few pages have been so interesting! It's really got me thinking. I'm a team pink hopeful and it is honestly for no other reason than those frilly baby girl outfits. If this baby is a boy it's the baby clothes that will upset me the most. How silly is that? Of course I'll be just as happy and have just as much love either way but I feel somewhat guilty about having a preferance. I have mixed feelings about gender neutrality I guess. Clothing doesn't bother me so much, I plan to have a gender neutral and gender specific either way.. What bothers me more are the toys. I remember wanting a "boy toy" for Christmas one year, it was the only thing I asked for. It was given to my brother instead. I think children learn so much through play, I will have trucks and dolls for whatever child I have.

 

[lesondemavie]

Weebles - I guess the neutrality to me also means mixing things up a bit. There are no girls vs boys clothes or names or colors or toys. Everything is fair game. Toys are toys, and that stinks your brother got the toy you wanted instead! I was always upset that I was in doing the dishes while my brother mowed the lawn. It's funny what sticks with us right? Although I will probably skip anything super pink and ruffled just bc that isn't my style, I love that it's yours and hope you get your pink bundle . My nursery will probably just be very colorful. I've been eying this map for a while and if this baby makes it to second tri, I might just have to buy it!

 

[Catalyst]

We were team yellow the first two times. Now we want to know, even more since they are two. And it is only out of curiosity and wanting to try both.

 

[second.time]

I love little girl clothes too. There are just more options. Not necessarily pink and glittery, but little smocked sundresses or peasant tops. They make my heart melt. I have found that it's possible to find fun options for boys too. I stick to stripes, primary colors, or cute button-ups. In the winter it's especially fun because I can layer him in cardigans and sweaters. I know one day he'll have his own style and maybe he'll hate my twee outfits, but for now I love dressing him. He has some pink clothes too! They're designed for boys -- I think pink tones for boys are trendy right now.

With this baby, we'll have so many toys around from my son that I assume he/she will end up playing with them. I really agree that if a kid expresses interest in a toy, he/she deserves to play with that toy, no matter what gender it's aimed at! I grew up with brothers and we all played with each other's toys. If it's fun, it's fun.

I haven't really talked to my family members about it yet because it's just been a few comments here and there. If they persist, I'll probably gently remind them that the baby could be a boy and that we'll need to be ready to welcome him. I hope that when the baby gets here, the excitement will make help them just celebrate with us.

 

[rainbowsun]

Oh, the joys of not telling people you're pregnant! I got a call tonight asking me to volunteer to chair a summer program for the toddlers in our community, and I couldn't figure out a way to say no without sounding totally evil. The person calling knows I'm a teacher and I'm off in the summer, and she kept pressing, but I couldn't tell her the real reason. I guess she'll figure it out in a few weeks, but until then, she's probably thinking I'm a selfish grinch

 

[Betty.Rubble]

Interesting conversation in here.

We're staying team yellow - I found out with DD but that was a different partner and he was struggling to bond. Also had a 4D scan with DD but won't be doing that this time.

We are team blue hopefuls but will be very happy either way. We have some name ideas but nothing definite yet.

I noticed my mum would always tell my DD that she couldn't have certain toys or magazines or watch programmes that were aimed at boys - I quite quickly corrected her! If she wants to watch bob the builder or thomas the tank that's fine!

 

[Girly922]

I would love another little girly just so I could get all the cute little girls clothes out again. We tend to stay away from pink but I adore the little denim pinafore dresses with bright red tights etc.

I think I was brought up in quite a liberal household in terms of gender equality. I was never a girly girl and grew up doing motorcross with my brother. DD has asked for a lightsaber for Christmas, so that is what she's getting.

 

[Thejoie]

Girl clothes and accessories are the reason I'm scared to have a girl! My friend had 3 girls and the amount of clothing/shoes/accessories/bows... I can't even.
My mom (even tho she has no idea we are pregnant yet...) has hinted she wants a grand daughter. DH is the only male so his family wants a boy to carry on the name. Lol...

My friends all have girls and DH friends all have boys so our kiddo will have plenty of each.

I honestly don't care either way...

I'm still having a little brown spotting every now and then when I wipe. Today makes day 3 of it. It's never a lot and hasn't really changed. It looks like clear discharge with brown to it. It's not present everytime I go to the bathroom either. I just hope everything is okay. Every time I see it, my heart sinks.

 

[Girly922]

I'm sorry joie, spotting is scary. Have you spoken to your doctors office about it? Only a few more days until your scan. I'm keeping my fx'd that everything is okay for your little bug!

 

[Flueky88]

Sorry the spotting is stressing you joie. I would mention it to your dr but I really think as long as it isn't red or heavy your lil baby is okay. I know it's hard not to worry though

I'm really fine boy or girl. We tried for so long I just want a healthy baby.

So baking soda gender test this morning..........



Girl. Now to wait til gender scan to see if it was right. Have a good rest of the weekend ladies.

 

[Thejoie]

I haven't mentioned it to my doctor. Only because I feel like I know what they will say and my scan is Wednesday so I haven't called them. I told myself if it got heavier or red then I'd call.
I'm just trying to stay positive