Mid June and July Firecrackers Group Due June/July 2017!

[lesondemavie]

Ladies I have an anterior placenta and this is my first (to make it this far) and just now at 22 weeks am I feeling powerful kicks that make me gasp like mumma describes. This morning it felt like baby was doing rolls...but I bet I'll go all day without feeling anything...probably a combo of baby sleeping and just being too distracted to notice. I feel it the most when I'm in bed with my hand on my belly really focusing. Before I would just feel a kick now and again...now I'm starting to feel other movement too. I know the days I go without feeling much just kill me, but baby is growing bigger and stronger and soon we'll all be telling the babies, "not now!" DH and I saw Logan this weekend and just as someone took a claw to the abdomen baby kicked really hard. It was the strangest sensation it made me yelp. Then last night after a bad vomiting episode I was in bed still feeling really sick and baby kicked stronger than I've ever felt before. I just wanted to cry. I've been wanting these strong kicks for weeks and weeks, but last night I just wanted to feel better. This is after I sobbed happy tears while watching the little girls and boys on Masterchef baking and cooking. I asked DH if he thought Charlie would bake with me and make homemade pasta with us etc and he said absolutely and I just sat there teary-eyed in magnificent disbelief. After the year we had last year, I just can't believe how lucky I am to be a mama and it's still sometimes hard for my heart to trust that I'll be holding my baby in July ...and also hormones

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

Pretty - People at work, I think, only remember to ask you how you are feeling or how your doc appts went when they see you and remember. No one at my work asks me, let alone acknowledges that I am pregnant, which is also fine by me I don't want to talk to them about it anyway. As for your FB friend, she probably just thought she was being nice and blew your cover because it was an exciting announcement, but I understand it was your announcement to make and not hers. I hope you are feeling better, what helps me is to get out and work out.

Dobby - Sex is excruciating for me too! And the worst part is I want it all the time but then it just hurts when we start. I am happy you and your OH are working things out, that is exciting he moved in. Can you get a cleaning lady to come and help with the housework? I refuse to clean because I work crazy hours plus my commute is horrible and I will not spend my free time cleaning the toilets. So me and DH split a cleaner to come once a month.

lesondemavie - I'm sorry the kicks hurt. Everyone tells me to be thankful I haven't felt them yet, but I cannot wait. And you are too cute with your hormones and crying at the master chef kids. Love the name Charlie!

AFM - I am so excited to see the little guy tomorrow, I have my Anatomy Scan. I already know it is a boy I just want to see him. I have been so self-conscious lately. I feel so unattractive and big and it doesn't help that DH and I haven't been intimate in over 2 weeks. When I approach the subject he says he doesn't need it and has a connection with just being with me and talking. But then I get all paranoid because what man doesn't want sex?! Anyway, he is going home to NY for a week in April for work and I have all these crazy thoughts in my head like he is going to meet up with an ex-gf or something. I told him my worries and he said he would never and that he is mad at me for thinking like that and how would I feel If he said that to me. So I think it is just my emotions/hormones getting the better of me here because I am not usually like this. Sorry for the book, needed to vent.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Alex is being very kicky today. I wish he'd be more active at night when I have time to feel it. But he likes to move when I'm moving, like at work or the gym.

 

[DobbyForever]

Haha pretty I love you. And I love that a- Alex is moving and B- you call him Alex

Ty ladies. I know my movement will come but some reassurance would be nice so kick harder damn it! But then I bet I'll be miserable when I start feeling it lol. Lose-lose haha.

Ttc definitely know that feeling. I'm glad you opened up to him. Communication is the key. It is definitely not you. He's probably just stressed/thinking about other stuff. I'm normally a horn dog but tbh just cuddling with SO is enough. I don't even need sex anymore. I just go through the motions to keep him happy but with all this pain it has me worried too no matter how much he reassures me. We also had a few tears last night for the same convo

As for a cleaning lady, I'm too territorial of my house and dogs to let someone in my house. I barely let friends over. Just family. I'm weird lol

 

[Mummafrog]

Aww dobby I'm sorry you're having a shitty time definitely get house work help if you can in any way afford it. Darling don't ever have sex if you don't want to, it's not good for you emotionally or the relationship. If you do want to but it hurts then that sucks arse xD maybe you'll need to try some lube and extra foreplay while pregnant? We have a much higher blood supply to our genitals when pregnant to help them stretch during birth and it can feel very weird/sore, I've been feeling swollen down there from it.

It's so sucky waiting for movements and I hope me talking about it isn't annoying anyone. It changed quite suddenly from feeling something vague every couple of days to now feeling like there is a baby in there every day. It's much earlier for me this time than the first pregnancy.

The hospital shifts are getting hard and my scrubs are tight.. but people usually tell me to sit down more my pelvis is feeling a lot better, it was definitely hormonal like the sickness so I'm getting some relief from that. Still getting a numb left thigh when I sleep from a trapped nerve though

 

[Weebles]

My scuba are getting tight too mummafrog! I have them pulled down low like it's the 90's and wear a long tank under my top but it's starting to hurt when I sit down. And I'm sitting down a lot more too. I definitely feel like I'm slowing down and that's no good. I'm really really looking forward to maternity leave!

Had my check up this morning and baby girl is doing good. Ive gotten a lot comments about how active she is from multiple techs. Sometimes it takes a few minutes for them to get her heart rate because she just moves toonmuch. I'm not sure if she's really just super active or if they're just making conversation.

 

[DobbyForever]

Aww weebles glad she is doing well!

Mumma you are not annoying at all! I love hearing about everyone's little one, even if I might not experience the same things at the same time. Nice of you to be considerate though

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh ttc they don't hurt! There was a week when the cartilage was ossifying and it felt kinda like someone was jabbing me from the inside with a pen, but the baby is gaining more padding (fat) now so it doesn't hurt at all. It's more just surprising how much force you feel all of the sudden. I don't mean that you should be thankful to not feel it yet. When you feel baby it will be wonderful, even when it's surprising or inconvenient, even if it does hurt. I just mean that a few weeks ago (at 19 and 20 weeks) I was saying the same things, and feeling sad/jealous about baby movements. I still do on the days when I don't really feel much at all, but wow it's amazing how fast things change and I know you will all be basking in that moment before you know it (even if it ends up taking a bit longer for it to happen).

 

[lesondemavie]

Dobby - I meant to say that sex hurts for me too. My bff went on and on about how amazing sex is when pregnant, but I just feel raw after even with lube and DH being gentle. It's so strange bc my libido was way up for a while and I feel lubricated down there, but maybe my cervix is just more easily irritated regardless *shrugs*.

Going to overshare here a bit:

Spoiler

I've had my ups and downs with sex, and as someone who has also struggled with anxiety I can definitely relate. I went through a big rut a few years into our relationship just from anxiety and stress at work, and during that time I still did it for DH anyway which was really the worst thing I could do. Sex became so awful, so unenjoyable when before for years with DH it was great. It became all about DH's pleasure, and for me it just hurt and felt awful and I hated it. DH got in some bad habits too...forgetting foreplay and just doing what felt good to him. Because of all of that, the rut lasted well beyond the stress at work. I'd start to feel anxious anytime he initiated anything...almost like a victim of sexual assault which has never happened to me ever thankfully and when I came to that realization I knew I had to speak up and work on this with him. I think at one point I even told him to just stop in the middle of it because I just couldn't take it anymore...but it felt so bad doing that bc he just looked so hurt when I did. It took a ton of talking and communication (it's probably so annoying being married to a psychologist &#128518, but it got so much better with time. It was so hard to talk about without hurting his feelings in the beginning but we got there eventually. I told him that I needed that power to stop if I needed to without him taking it personally or looking hurt that he just needed to understand that this was something I needed to work through. I started being more direct about what felt good and what didn't too. In the beginning, we just went back to making out until I could do that without feeling anxious. In retrospect, I wouldn't have just let it go on for so long. It just was so much harder to undo the damage later. So now that I'm having trouble with sex again, I'm just talking about it with DH from the get go, and it's so much easier to talk to him about it now than it was before. It means we're not having sex as often for now, but I trust we'll figure it out and move forward and it won't be nearly as hard as it was in the past. *sigh* I know your relationship is a little more complicated right now, but I would highly encourage you to figure out how to open up about it and not just do it for his sake.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo sorry let me clarify he is is no way pressuring me to have sex. Trust me, I have been assaulted far more times than I care to remember and this is definitely not that. It's more like I can just tell he wants sex. He knows and is supportive of not having it if it hurts. He always asks and has turned down sex knowing it hurts. I just feel jipped. And I hate not being able to please him that way. I know I can do other things, but it isn't the same. He's even said if we can't have sex until after I heal from birth, he/we'll be fine. I just hate this. He tells me all the time he appreciates me and all that I do despite working ft and being preggo. Just blah

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh my DH wasn't pressuring me before either, but it sounds like you have talked with him about it which is great. I didn't get that bit before. I just know the more you pair sex with pain the less you'll want it even after all this.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah my urge to have it has gone out the window. I was hoping the first time it hurt was just one off, but once we tried again the other day I just knew in my heart the pain wasn't going to get better. I'm going to try some artificial lube next time. I feel like I'm still producing my own but Idk. Anything ingredient wise I should steer clear from? I usually buy a water based natural one.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Haha pretty I love you. And I love that a- Alex is moving and B- you call him Alex

Well, it's his name. Gotta get used to calling him by it. lol

Afm, when it comes to sex, BD and I really haven't had it lately. Like, literally the last time we did it was the night I got pregnant. He went down on me once in 1st tri, but that's been it. Neither of us has really pushed to do it. He likes to cuddle and grab my butt and boobs, but none of it has lead to sex. One of us also usually passes out on the couch before we actually go to bed (mainly him, lol). I'm kind of interested to see if it's actually as good as some women make it out to be.

 

[Girly922]

Sex just isn't on the cards here at all. I feel bad for DH because I know he wants to but he respects that I don't. My anxiety is just too high to relax enough to get into the right mood. I'm hoping that will change before baby gets here as I know it'll be a while after birth before I'm ready to go again.

 

[lesondemavie]

The water-based lubricant should be fine Dobby. Your cervix does a pretty good job of staying closed tightly and keeping that all away from baby. I just used some of the preseed we have left from ttc, but like I said it still hurt. I might try a bit more next time, but like I said I have a feeling that for me it's maybe an irritated cervix issue rather than a lubricant issue.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

I've been very dry during pregnancy which is complete opposite of what I usual am.. I use a water based lubrication but I'm still a little sore the next day. My dh said he really enjoys it though because I feel like a virgin to him lol.

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg Gag SO says the same thing about how tight it is. Which is hilarious because after all the first tri transvag scans I had it was loose as goose

 

[Maries_s]

Sex here is not so often like it used to be after having my daughter. However, is been very good when we managed to do that (now in second trimester because in the first trimester I always freak out). However, we use lube every time because I never lubricate well and I haven't had any problem with the lube (we use one that bought in Whole Foods an claimed to be very natural).

 

[Betty.Rubble]

OH thinks I'm tighter and wetter since I've been pregnant I've been quite horny with hormones so we probably do it 2-3 times a week. Sometimes it is uncomfortable but we change position if that happens.

Such a shame some of you ladies can't enjoy it at the minute

 

[Parkep]

Ugh i cant get in the mood to save my life. Even when i want to for OH lol. Usually with my girls by now I have strong urges lol. Poor OH was hopeful for that to happen again. He always has a very strong sex drive. Ive never been able to keep up, except when pregnant with my girls for like a month haha.