Mother of all conception months Graduates

[molly85]

lol it's like a reverse poop. not painful just a bit ungainful and the position u have be in. lol I'm not sure how my gay male friends do it for fun. Whooops lowering the tone.

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

oh no a bum exam after delivery not sure what is worse that or having to have my placenta delivered by hand

I had a trainee in theatre with my ob gynae and my placenta didnt come away with the jab they give you after birth (a retained placenta!) it had to be manually removed cringe! So in goes the trainee arm up to elbow inside my whoha and struggles to remove it DH says to him `your not much good at this are you mate?` I could have died theres me legs akimbo and DH berating the trainees efforts over my whoha so in goes the ob gynae also arm to elbow up my whoha and manages to remove in one go

Truly all your dignity goes outta the window!

 

[PeanutBean]

I wonder more how women do it for fun molly! But I am a prude so maybe it's just me!

 

[PeanutBean]

Blimey madly!!!!!

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

oh yeah I had a wonderful birth Even my MW enjoyed filling in her two trainees with my previous delivery history this morning!

 

[gilz82]

Oh Madly i hate to imagine some of the dirty unwashed people that get seen in maternity units ewwwwww.

Thankfully Peanut even if it does look weird postnatally i won't need to look at it every day, pants are wonderful inventions

So wish i was as laid back as you guys about weight, i was skinny at school, moved in with a crap boyfriend got very fat. Lost all the weight back to slim and now i weight myself every monday in life. I try hard not to, but then i end up worrying about if i've put weight on or not. I truly dread becoming that fat sad girl again, i know it's stupid.

ALSO what have i missed why is there fingers and bums after birth!!! Not liking the sound of this at all people!!

 

[molly85]

madly! I have images of the vet with wows and blue elbow length gloves lol!
eugh woman to ewwwww

 

[molly85]

gilz your gnna be a mum your feet will never hit the ground again,

 

[PeanutBean]

Checking for third degree tears Gilz.

 

[gilz82]

Oh good gawd!! Can't believe no one has ever told me that.

My sisters friend quite graphically shared her birth story with me ending with her telling me the reason they put the baby on your chest in her opinion is so that you can't punch anyone while they stitch up your whoha.

She missed out the whole bum part, so not like her.

 

[PeanutBean]

Maybe she didn't notice! They give you a local if you need stitches.

 

[molly85]

she prob ddn't feel the bum part it's not painful, it just grosses you out to watch. Sadly i was on all 4s for mine as i have a skin tag back there that some times tears when I have done a rather large poop. I no longer boother with the doctors unless there is a special issue with it. eugh hope that doesn't increase my chances of a tare. eugh

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

I had a massive tear too and had painful stitches I dont think I missed a thing during labour I hope this time its not as eventful

 

[molly85]

Gloves on Madly lol.
I just had this thought if labour is like my pregnancy so far I might as well do it at home i hate being "in" hospital

 

[madcatwoman]

Ditto, though I never had a flat tummy in my whole life! (Madcat and I have already chatted about our tummies! lol). I wouldn't know how to get one, I don't think it would be possible for me and it's certainly not natural.

Ugh molly I was so not impressed having a bum exam after the birth. Thank god I was still numb but she had a very slender finger!! As if the episiotomy and ventouse weren't bad enough!

Oh yes, i even have childhood photos of me on the beach with a pouch for a tummy, it just got worse and worse, i tried all sorts, gym,situps,diets, i gave into it in the end.


What an earth am i reading about on here, elbows up whoohaas, fingers up bums, please tell me none of this concerns me.

Question, If i have another packet of pickled onion monstermunch, would it be really bad?

 

[gilz82]

Have either of you tried the creams you get that are supposed to minimise tearing, Peanut or Madly?

I was considering getting the mothercare one but not if it doesn't actually do anything.

 

[mamadonna]

poor madcat you'll all be giving her nightmares

 

[molly85]

It's not the cream that works your massaging the area and stretching the skin I'd mean to start doing that already with some e45 I better get a special whooha pot lol.

We're all gnna get a our bums and whoohas poked lol

 

[madcatwoman]

they can keep their poking finger away from my whoohaa!!

 

[gilz82]

Think you'd better have that other packet of monster munch now Madcat