Mother of all conception months Graduates

[tas1]

Some people never think it's just worse when it's your own mum!

My friend had her baby today she was 6 days over I really thought it was a girl but no was a boy! It's a very funny actually because there is 3 of us we went to college together and stayed friends,well my friend cat got pregnant first was due November then my friend Laura was due in march then me pregnant with Caden due in April we all had boys, then the tables turned I got pregnant first then Laura then cat and we are all had or having boys again lol there is the same age gap between all our boys lol weird huh?!?

I have guesstimated Caleb weighs 19lbs! He is in 6-9months sleep suits but still fits in everything else! He's a big boy! He's been abit grumpier after this lot of injections but only when he really tired takes us abit longer to get him to sleep! I think he has eczema on the side of his face which Caden got when he teething so think Caleb might be teething!

Xx

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

thanks ladies! glad i am not just being a bit hormonal about it, don tget me wron gi am sure i would have been able to let it go if i werent hormonal but gah engage brain, why do you think we want you to look after ds round ours? why did you never let anyone look after us round their house when you went away. . . why . . think about it! grrrrrr

well another day down! i really want to get to thursday without having baby to have a september baby (sad really i know) but everyone is just saying oh i bet you want to get to next monday and just get your section. do you not listen? i dont want a section anymore! we talked for hours about this . . . why would i push it back by 9 days if i wanted a section! chances are i will end up with one anyway because my birth plan is so rigid - eek head midwife on holiday now - in terms of progression, induction of any kind and stress of baby but come on! give me a chance!

on another note . . . i decided to get the potty out today to see if leo would be interested in it, he let me put some big boy mickey mouse pants on yesterday so thought hmmm is he finally showing a flicker of interest, well he only ruddy well sat on the potty! so that was it for me we spent most of the afternoon playing in the bathroom, for 4 hours he held his wee wee in because he was scared to let it go, we moved into the living room because literally my back felt like it was going to snap in two and he could just not hold it in any longer! wee wee on the potty!!!! and he gave me this little look and went oh! as if to say mummy that actually wasnt so bad! it was a massive wee wee! he refused to do poo poo though so wouldnt mind betting there will be a first thing dash to the potty for poo poos tomorrow! bad timing with baby coming but who cares! i suppose if i go another week or not going out the house have a section and then stuck in the house for a ocuple of weeks both his potty training and new baby will keep me occupied

on a side note, i told dh you need to listen to him if he says anything about needing a wee and get him to the potty. 5 mins later i notice leo has sopping wet trousers and pants . . . cant leave him alone for 5 mins grrrr did he say anything about needing a wee, dunno was texting work . . . gah! lol

 

[PeanutBean]

That's great about Leo's potty training nomore. Byron is getting good too. He's been dry a few days and nights now despite long car journeys. We've started venturing out in undies for dogwalks and things but not tried in the car just in case.

My first mum friend who I met at aquanatal with Byron has just had her baby. A girl and born in the hospital car park!! Looking forward to hearing all about it. She is called Lucille which I think is an awesome name.

I've decided to make a formal complaint against the hospital for Byron's birth. No doubt it'll be a long haul but I want an apology and admission they effed up. It cost me so much and I want them to accept it was their fault.

Sorry I've not been around much, DH has been off all week so we've been all over again and I've been sewing and playing Pottermore which hasn't left much time. I'm reading here and on fb though.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

thanks pb! it is certainly going to keep us occupied for the next week or so lol i was amazed at how long he held his wee in for, i am sure i took his nappy off at ten this morning, he needed a wee at two, did go until 5, hoping now he has done a wee out his nappy that he wont be scared and wont hold it in anymore, he didnt cry when he wet him self a couple of hours later which is a good sign

i always say that even though i wouldnt want any money from the nhs if a complaint i make was discussed and changes were bought in to ensure it doesnt happen to anyone else i am more than up for that! i am planning on making a formal complaint about how i was treated in regards to a c section, all i wanted was someone to talk to me about my previous birth but noooooo! bully tactics and ignoring my requests was their way . . . it has really spoilt this labour and made me feel two inches tall the majority of the time

so pb go for it! even to get some final closure on everything xkx

 

[molly85]

did the chief midwife not action your concerns from your previous descusions?
they do need to know where they are going wrong i sent a thank you letter to the uni for the students and their mentors figuring they would get the message bac quicker

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

woke up and both me and leo have stinking colds, both wrapped up warm potty training is on complete back burner now, after all that effort yesterday i just dont have the energy and neither does leo bless him, we are both wrapped up in our dressing gowns. to stay positive i have taken away from yesterday that he is now no longer afraid of his wee wees which isa major major step for him. planon leaving the potty out anyway he walks around naked most of the time anyway, i honestly think nappies are uncomfortable for him now, so if he uses the potty he uses it if he doesnt then no pressure.

back to original plan i think . . . now on to finding out what visitor in the last week had given us their stupid cold!

 

[PeanutBean]

You got a cold nomore? Baby on the way soon then!

No molly, I am pretty pissed off about it. I emailed her a week or two ago saying so what is happening as she said she would take further the swab being taken without my consent and the epidural stuff and she replied saying epidurals don't always work. Nice one. Well she'll be sorry! I need to check through the emails but I think the early ones might mention her intention to follow up on things so I'll complain about her too if I have that evidence.

I think my best specifics for complaining about are:
1) I was deprived of my right to a homebirth because of actions taken my the mw team that were not as per guidelines of the hospital and were without clinical indication.
2) I wasn't informed about expectant management and the antibiotics were administered without informed consent.
3) I was encouraged to push in early labour which could've been damaging.
4) I was given syntocinon without any information or discussion of choice.
5) The epidural was ineffective and my protests about the level of pain were ignored with mws instead encouraging me to top up which resulted in paralysis which in turn resulted in an inability to push and the ventouse delivery (which damaged me for months).
6) This pregnancy a swab was taken without my knowledge. Hours later I was told it had happened but was not informed of why it had been taken, what would be tested for, the implications of positive results. This directly led to a considerable degree of stress in late pregnancy.
7) Considerable distress and depression affecting my day to day life for two years - evidenced by my tears at the debrief more than 2 years later.
8) Maybe the failure of the SoM to follow up on my complaints as promised.

The main thing is being deprived of a homebirth with no clinical grounds as this singularly led to everything else. The rest is basically an informed consent issue. A battle worth fighting as women in labour are treated as mentally deficient with things routinely done to them and no information imparted nor consent obtained, indeed some are threatened if they question what is to happen. It's a battle unlikely to go anywhere for me (except perhaps the swab) but if none of us press the matter it never will.

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

Hi ladies :wave:

Around and reading just not posting much ..... charlie is teething really badly right now so things are a tad pressing, 14 times I got up last night to him my poor little man

Nomore am so excited for you

Peanut good for you re the official complaint, I guess i have reason to too about the swab i had taken this preg as well when I questioned why i wasn't asked my consent i was told it was routine ..... I never pressed this further maybe i should have done I do know I will never get over olivers birth it plays in my mind all the time and is more present than charlies birth

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

oh pb that is awful! you shoud definately complain! i intend to complain about my treatment during this pregnancy and during the labour of my last, there was no excuse for the midwives not to communicate with me, i had two of them in the room at the same time but no one told me about treatment my baby and i were receiving

there is a thread in third tri at the moment asking why women do not make official complaints about their treatment in maternity wards pre and post birth and i was shocked to see that people genuinely think that it is not a big a problem as everyone else makes out. i think that women these days jut accept that the level of maternity care is appauling in this country but base their experience on how nice a midwife or nurse is and how it is nt their fault . . . well its someones fault and more documented complaints about our service may make people actually listen. especially when it is messing up treatment, witholding your right to a home birth and then not communicating your treatment with you

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

oh she is defo not coming any time soon, the cold is from leo, when i had leo i was full of cold the whole three weeks before apparantly most people are betting friday downstairs, dh thinks wednesday i am actually starting to think my body has issues preparing itself for labour, when i was in labour with leo i was having contractions every 4 minutes which were beyond bearable and was 1.5cm, 10% effaced . . . i wouldnt be surprised if i went all the way to next monday . . .

 

[vbaby3]

Hi ladies,i've been around too and catching up,but not had much time to post.

Nomore,hope lil 1 comes soon,typical getting a bloody cold when you're due!x

Well after all my anxiety with mri's and neurologists etc,I was so relieved when it was all over and i could get back to normal,but since last wk i've been having major random anxiety attacks,I even had 1 on saturday when i had travelled the whole way down to my friend to have a few drinks and stay the night.I left her house after an hr because i was afraid to stay
I feel a bit scared to do anything.Went to my doc today and talked things over with her.
Between all i've been through with my dad,and my own health in the last 2 months.on top of hormones after giving birth, my poor head couldn't handle it anymore.I'm now on an anxiety med for a couple of months to get my serotonin levels back up.
I could have probably rode out the dreadful down feeling i have,but the panic attacks i can't cope with,there's no warning,before i know it i'm just in the middle of it.Don't want to get to the point where i'm afraid to go out the door

I also have to book teagan in for an xray,her creases in her thighs don't match anymore,and 1 leg is slightly longer than the other.

Shay starts school tomorrow

HHHmmmm,what a depressing post!!

Madly teagan is pretty contrary now too.
We're back doing a nightfeed which is not really helping my current situation!
Tried her on a bit of rice at the wk end.She probably swallowed about half a spoon.She was about as interested in that as she is with her milk!

Sorry for the dreary post ladies,i'm feeling pretty dreary.
Hope all the lo's are doing well.x

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

hun i post many many a ranting depressing thread you go for it!

i am sorry that you are having so many health problems, you have really been through it lately and i am not surprised after everything you need a little help just to get your hormones all stock piled up again. i hope you start feeling a little better soon xkx

xkx

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

vbaby you seem to be having such a crap time of things right now

I hope both Charlie and Teagan are just going through a growth spurt right now which quickly passes, i can understand how night feeds can't be helping

Shay will be just fine am sure he will love school

Nomore am guessing Friday

 

[PeanutBean]

vbaby. Sorry you have so much to deal with. Panic attacks are awful. I had PTSD after getting crushed at a concert when I was 16. It's much better than it was but I am left with a panicy feeling in crowds. I used to hyperventilate and think I couldn't breathe. The attack itself panics you doesn't it? Just time helped me, I guess it wasn't so debilitating to affect me too much in that I could at least generally avoid the triggers. I hope your meds help. Have you thought about studying relaxation to help you get on top of it naturally?

Thanks for your support over the complaint ladies, it means a lot. I agree nomore that as a general rule women feel that this is what childbirth is, it is painful and medical and shit happens and it's no-one's fault, or more likely that of their own useless body. It's a terrible shame and one of the reasons I am quite vocal about what happened to me and why. I think women should be able to expect more and I think the more educated they are about natural childbirth the more glaring unnecessary intervention is. There is a lot of complaining about botched jobs, not intervening soon enough etc but a general acceptance that any amount of trauma for the mother is ok because the baby is ok at the end even if the baby would've been ok anyway had the medics come nowhere near! I'll check out that third tri thread if I get time. Can you link if for me?

 

[sequeena]

nomore I had a cold just before I gave birth too so hopefully it won't be much longer xx

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

i cant find the thread?! i think i am just a little cross eyed from my headache blah, it wasnt all that good i was expecting a good few stories of how bad some peoples care was and it was mostly people saying that it is not as common to have a bad experience as it is good and that they had a lovely midwife. . . doesnt mean their care and treatment was any good and also correct! you never find out about any mistakes they make unless it has a direct influence on your health! it was amazing all the things they were pumping me and leo with during me first labour that they never got permission for or explained, i am sure most of it you dont need permission for but it might have been a good idea to tell me they were giving syntocinon and that it caused leos distress and they took me off it again you know? grrrrr

cold seems to have massively improved this evening, perhaps i just felt under the weather i honestly think i will be sat here for a while yet lol, i actually feel pretty good at the moment, i have dh around for the next 3 or 4 days which will be fantastic for my ability to rest and relax a little bit plus keep the house tidy-ish lol

 

[DaretoDream]

I've decided to make a formal complaint against the hospital for Byron's birth. No doubt it'll be a long haul but I want an apology and admission they effed up. It cost me so much and I want them to accept it was their fault

i'm so glad you are going to do a formal complaint!!! that's great hun! stand up for yourself! there were a ton of things that i didn't like about my pregnancy and how they handled things... and i didn't complain because i was afraid deep down that if i caused trouble somehow they would do something worse and it would be a problem during actual delivery. Or they'd like refuse to keep seeing me or something. i know that's ridiculous- but at the time i was terrified of causing trouble (even though i know that's not really what it would be voicing my honest concerns.) My first appt ever i was asking questions and refusing a pap smear while pregnant- and they told me i was 'bucking the system'. And i stuck to my guns but was still very nervous about voicing things later.

oh she is defo not coming any time soon, the cold is from leo, when i had leo i was full of cold the whole three weeks before apparantly most people are betting friday downstairs, dh thinks wednesday i am actually starting to think my body has issues preparing itself for labour, when i was in labour with leo i was having contractions every 4 minutes which were beyond bearable and was 1.5cm, 10% effaced . . . i wouldnt be surprised if i went all the way to next monday . . .

So sorry you have a cold! that last bit is already miserable enough without being sick!! you know, i was 80% effaced for 3 weeks prior to the birth!!!!! sheeeesh.

Well after all my anxiety with mri's and neurologists etc,I was so relieved when it was all over and i could get back to normal,but since last wk i've been having major random anxiety attacks,I even had 1 on saturday when i had travelled the whole way down to my friend to have a few drinks and stay the night.I left her house after an hr because i was afraid to stay
I feel a bit scared to do anything.Went to my doc today and talked things over with her.
Between all i've been through with my dad,and my own health in the last 2 months.on top of hormones after giving birth, my poor head couldn't handle it anymore.I'm now on an anxiety med for a couple of months to get my serotonin levels back up.
I could have probably rode out the dreadful down feeling i have,but the panic attacks i can't cope with,there's no warning,before i know it i'm just in the middle of it.Don't want to get to the point where i'm afraid to go out the door

I also have to book teagan in for an xray,her creases in her thighs don't match anymore,and 1 leg is slightly longer than the other.

Shay starts school tomorrow

HHHmmmm,what a depressing post!!

Sorry for the dreary post ladies,i'm feeling pretty dreary.
Hope all the lo's are doing well.x

hey hun i'm so very very very sorry you are feeling so down!!! And all the health issues, that's horrid! i'm so sorry!!!! I know all about the anxiety attacks- i used to get them really bad when i was younger- i know the feeling! oh man! nothing quite like it. I would totally freak and try to run away from whatever situation was doing it and i would break down and cry. I am so sorry. I really hope you feel better soon and they stop, there is nothing quite like that feeling.

And i'm sorry about teagan's leg- i'm hoping it's not a big deal- and DONT worry about it until you hear otherwise after the xray ok? you don't need to be thinking about that and having the added stress on yourself. Man i'm so sorry.

will be thinking of you.

 

[DaretoDream]

afm- ladies, i'm having a bit of trouble with letdown (breastfeeding )? the milk is coming down so fast it's literally shooting her in the face. I've tried some things i read online, like letting it run into the burp cloth/towel before letting her really feed, elevating her so her throat is higher- but its definitely causes her to have some trouble sometimes.

Sometimes when she poos too i'm getting just yellow liquid and just a little seedy- but most of the time it's normal. And she's peeing a TON. I mean, like in 20 minutes, sometimes i've changed her diaper 3-4 times. Just urine. I know that's a good sign to have a lot of urine diapers but jeez!

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

wow i have never heard of milk coming out too fast from booby!

feeling really good again today, i think i was having contractions last night, i woke up loads last night, every time i looked at the clock it was only 40mins later and dh woke up a few times saying is that moaning you - you know when you wake up from a nightmare and you just know you have been shouting in your sleep, it was like that, like i had obviously been in pain whilst sleeping and had been moaning before i woke up

had one or two painful braxtons but i also feel like its trapped wind pain more than anything else

anyway i am not going to be on here much this daytime so no one get excited lol i have all of my booking in for the c section today at the hospital so prob wont be back until mid-late afternoon - it would be typical to get there and start having contractions whilst being booked in lol but in my head it is better to get all booked in etc then think that i am having contractions, not go and not end up being in labour . . .

anyways enough ramblings from me have a good day ladies and speak to you later! xkx

 

[PeanutBean]

Good luck nomore, with both your appointment and the contractions! I want to respond to what you said about the drugs you had and them not needing permission for everything because they do! This is one of the major problems in maternity services IMO. Informed consent seems to go out the window when it comes to labour and many women don't realise they can refuse anything and consent should be obtained for everything from section, through administration of drugs right down to internal examinations.

Thanks Dare. I'm sorry you struggled in your pregnancy. I think in the US there can be a danger of them refusing care but that would be illegal in the UK. Not that I would ever advocate keeping quiet. If no-one complains how will they ever improve? And there are always other doctors/midwives who might also be more in line with a woman's wishes. First pregnancies and births are a real learning curve about the quality of care and what our rights are.

I've no experience of squirting boobs but a friend of mine here has had that. I think she did the express some first approach. If you post in the bf section I'm sure there will be others who have faced this challenge.