Mother of all conception months Graduates

[gilz82]

Thanks very much Peanut. We do have a union I'm not a member though. I'll have a good look at all the info and go back to my boss on Monday. I'm just really glad I raised this with my work now and didn't wait til I was on mat leave, think that would only have made things worse.

On the money thing it's not too personal. We don't pool all our money. We both have separate accounts with a joint house account. We each put money in the account to cover rent, bills and food etc. The rest of my money goes to covering my car loan and mobile etc and until the baby arrives some savings each month. Same for my OH but in his account.

It does seem strange but at the same time I think it's an age thing. None of my friends even the married ones have all their money in one account. That wasn't meaning you were old cos I know we are similar ages I just mean compared to what our parents automatically did a lot of our generation keep things separate.

My OH makes double what I do and if we pooled our money I'd forever feel like I was spending his money if that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't make sense

 

[madcatwoman]

peanut, i cant tie my laces now!, i have to sit down on the couch, bend one leg/foot over the lap of the other and do it that way and also put my socks on this way. its just too uncomfortable to do it the normal way!.

YAY Just won a mat top on ebay, next, in black, cross over top, £7, cant beat it lol!

 

[PeanutBean]

I get what you're saying gilz and it does seem a lot of my peers do the same. I just think it adds a while new level of complication to having a baby. It's black and White but I think the financial commitment is important. I earn the most and owned our previous house and was responsible for upkeep so DH has certainly spent lots of my money. We'll soon be on our second mat leave of smp so he'll be keeping me again. We just think of it all as our money. I think the only time I've taken ownership is the once of twice when I've had a bonus at work. It's never much and I buy a personal treat but then I rarely buy things for myself normally. We put everything we earn into living, the house and Byron so there's no need for separate money.

Anyway I by no means mean to criticise what other people do about their finances but I really feel for my friend struggling to pay for baby things out of her smp while her OH works and drinks and smokes and socialises his money away.

I'm feeling so cross about this government.

 

[gilz82]

No I understand what you mean Peanut maybe it's something my OH need to re-evaluate.

Yay Madcat on the eBay purchases I'm definitely going to have a look today!

 

[madcatwoman]

I earn the most and owned our previous house and was responsible for upkeep so DH has certainly spent lots of my money. We'll soon be on our second mat leave of smp so he'll be keeping me again. We just think of it all as our money. I think the only time I've taken ownership is the once of twice when I've had a bonus at work. It's never much and I buy a personal treat but then I rarely buy things for myself normally. We put everything we earn into living, the house and Byron so there's no need for separate money.

this could have been written by my DH peanut, its how our household works, even when i did work, i earnt way way less than him, plus he was always the home owner too(litterally)...this only changed recently when we decided to have the new house in both of our names.

Dh is friends with one couple who are still quite petty though, they have seperate accounts, (&and a new baby), 'he' earns more than her, but if they want a holiday she has to put in equal amounts to him, and if she cant meet that target they dont go!, they bought a house in need of DIY, and the same has gone for the bathroom, he's always had anough money but its taken them 3 years to do it because its taken longer to put her equal share in!, the kitchen is still a mess as she cannot afford her half!

 

[tas1]

Oh my word Madcat that sounds like a horrible situation for your friends to be in! I dont think thats fair,the guy should put more money in if he earns it to help improve for his family and to make his house into their family home! I hate money situations,me and my Partner are equal,we share the money and both save for things although i do take control of the money and make sure everything is paid as my OH likes to spend money....he is the type of guy that would get sold his own wee lol!

 

[gilz82]

Oh god I'm that girl Madcat!! Not because of my OH though, cos I'm stubborn!! I pay half of everything so if I can't afford my half we don't do it, like holidays, diy etc. I have always managed to save my share so that stuff go done but maybe I need to let go of that whole concept of having to half everything.

If I'm honest i think I'm motivated by fear slightly in that I'm scared my OH would resent me for spending his money. That sadly is a reflection on me not him

 

[madcatwoman]

my OH likes to spend money....he is the type of guy that would get sold his own wee lol!

 

[vbaby3]

Hi ladies!!
Well my lo has given me proper kicks yesterday and today!Finally!!hoping this is the start of feeling him/her everyday!!
madly thats crap about olivers nativity,but don't worry 4/5yr olds are very forgiving,he won't mind.But I understand you're upset about missing it,I would be tooHopefully your mil can go and she can take loads of photos for you.x.Hope your noggin is ok today!!

Gilz the whole money thing is a hard 1.We were away for yrs travelling and actually met whilst away so we both had our separate money.We came back to ireland 8 yrs ago and were both working,on similar wage,and still kept it separate.I suppose it was after we got married 5 and a half yrs ago that we started the whole whats mine is yours thing,don't know if it was because we had got married,or because we were talking about starting a family.We actually got married,bought our house and got preg all within 6 months so every penny we both earned kinda went into 1st saving for the wedding and deposit for the house etc.
How much each of us put in,or which wage the bills and stuff came out of wasn't an issue.We both had what we needed so we were happy.
Now my dh is the sole earner,it is hard and you do lose a bit of your independence.But because money is so tight neither of us really takes money for treats for ourselves,but if either of us needs something thats fine once the money is there!!
It is hard to let go sometimes and its something you should sit down and talk about to your oh.If he's on a good wage he will prob be more than happy for you to go back part time and he support you and baby.Yous just have to think of yourselves as a family unit now,and not as 2 separate people!
Hope it all works out for you and you get to stay home at least part of the time.x

Snow is finally melted!!!!!I'm soooo happpy!!

 

[madcatwoman]

YAY Vbaby!!!!
so glad youre finally getting kicks!!!, thats great news!!

 

[Sofiekirsten]

I know what you mean on the money situation. Before me and DH were married we did everything the same way we would pay half for everything.

We even did it when we wanted a new bed.

Now we have a joint bank account but I am now unemployed and been out of work for over a year now.

 

[gilz82]

Yay on the kicks and the melted snow Vbaby I'm actually overjoyed that our snow has now gone. Well until Wednesday when we'll get more

Just had a conversation with my OH and bizarrely he raised putting our money together so maybe it's been on his mind too. We'll need to talk properly about when he comes home for Christmas but as you said we aren't really just Gillian and Marc anymore we're going to be a little family.

Oh got quite excited there writing we're going to be a family how sad am I

 

[vbaby3]

Aww gilz its a lovely feeling thinking about lo,and how you'll be a little family.Once baby is here you'll not even remember life before he/she was here!
So glad he brought up the subject of money,I think having a baby will have men thinking about these things,and he obviously wants to provide for and support his family.

Oh no,hope the stoopid snow doesn't come back,knowing my luck we'll be snowed in on the 23rd and I won't be able to get down to dublin for my scan!!

 

[gilz82]

We'll just think positive thoughts about the snow Vbaby I'd hate for either of us to miss our scans.

Not long til Madly's scan, I wonder if her prediction for herself will be right?

 

[Sofiekirsten]

Whaa only 5 days until my 12 week scan!



I think Madly will be right for what she has predicted.

 

[vbaby3]

Oh exciting sofie!!
I dunno about madly,I would be quite inclined to say girl coz she's been pretty ill throughout,a lot more so than with oliver!
But I really am the worst guesser,i wrong at least 90%of the time!!!
What are yous feeling yous are having?
I'm thinking girl only coz I've had symptoms i haven't had with either of the boys.I've sore gums and nose bleeds and sinusitis.Plus for the couple wks I didn't feel well,I was a lot more nauseous than with the boys!I dunno though!!
I really don't mind,I know i'm already blessed to have 2 gorgeous perfect lil boys,so I gladly take another of those!!

 

[Sofiekirsten]

Oh exciting sofie!!
I dunno about madly,I would be quite inclined to say girl coz she's been pretty ill throughout,a lot more so than with oliver!
But I really am the worst guesser,i wrong at least 90%of the time!!!
What are yous feeling yous are having?
I'm thinking girl only coz I've had symptoms i haven't had with either of the boys.I've sore gums and nose bleeds and sinusitis.Plus for the couple wks I didn't feel well,I was a lot more nauseous than with the boys!I dunno though!!
I really don't mind,I know i'm already blessed to have 2 gorgeous perfect lil boys,so I gladly take another of those!!

I think she is definatley having another boy!

I am 99% sure we are having a girl, I have had a feeling ever since we found out!

But I will be happy with either just as long as it is healthy!

 

[vbaby3]

Your scan will be doubly exciting gilz coz you'll have oh home with you!!
Whens he home for xmas,and will he have a couple wks off?

 

[vbaby3]

Oh sofie,so you think girl!!!Will be so exciting to find out!!!!
Wonder will there be loads of 1 sex or will they be balanced.I think in the april sweet peas the girls are way ahead of the boys so far!

 

[gilz82]

Your scan will be doubly exciting gilz coz you'll have oh home with you!!
Whens he home for xmas,and will he have a couple wks off?

Right now I have a feeling the jellybean is a boy, but wouldn't be surprises if I'm totally wrong

My OH is home from next Friday until the 4th of January so we get to spend a couple of weeks together which is fab