Mother of all conception months Graduates

[PeanutBean]

Well that's not very helpful! I still think that if you've come away feeling like this the MW could have chosen her words more carefully. Even a "bring someone with you love, just in case" would've got that across without sounding like there was no hope! If there's no measurement then you have everything to hope for as she can be no more the wiser than anyone else.

Oh sometimes these MWs forget what it's like to be a first time mum, all the worries are bad enough without having spotting, early scans and issues with hb. I think sometimes it becomes to impersonal to some of them and they forget to relate properly. Not all Mws of course, but some.

 

[molly85]

Gilz hugs to you, I can see why she said take someone. hopefully all will be fine huggles girly

 

[gilz82]

Just going to try and not think about it constantly for the next day and a bit and hope that everything will be ok with the jellybean.

All of this palava just highlights how naive i actually was about being pregnant. You get so focused on trying to get pregnant and how stessful that it. I certainly thought once i got my BFP i would feel much better, but i've just replaced it with a worse kind of stress i think. Roll on second tri when i surely will be able to relax a littl

 

[PeanutBean]

I'm afraid Gilz that you are only at the beginning of a mother's special journey of fear and guilt! Once you have that baby in your arms you only worry even more! At least you could protect LO in your tum, you think. And as LO gets older and more exposed to the world we mums get even more fearful at our inability to protect them! It's not easy! But it's utterly worth it. Every second. Even when we're tired, frustrated or at our wits end.

 

[MADLYSBOYS]

Gilz hon I cant believe your MW spoke in such an insensitive way she may have been speaking from experience but doesnt know for sure I am sure everything will be just fine with Jellybean but its great you have your friend going with you for moral support I will be thinking about you!

 

[loopylollipop]

Hmmm. I appreciate that your MW was trying to prepare you but you already have had the news of a slow heart beat = possible potential problem on the day of the scan. This is already in your mind so I dont know how presenting this in such a catastrophic no hope way is helpful.

We are both aware that we may have some issues with our jellbeans, but to take away all hope just seems mean. These health care professionals have something to learn about breaking potential bad news. Surely you only give no hope when there is no hope ie there is undisputed proof. I have seen some miraculous stuff over the years and am very careful about taking away peoples hope.

Like Peanuts quotes show - there is a risk which is why the told you in the first place and made a comment. However, there were other ladies who were ok. If there wasnt even a heart rate recorded, surely they have just gone on the look (and therefore pretty sujective and likely unreliable). I dont know.

Its so hard not knowing. I texted my OH today saying how worried I was about mine next week, and how I wish I could enjoy this time being pregnant whilst I am still oblivious. He admitted he is also scared but at least we can be scared together. But I still need some hope to cling on, at then end of the day it is all a unknown, and out of our control.

From my experience MW have very little to do with early pregnancy problems and EPAU. Mine didnt even call me back when I left a sobbing message to cancel my appointment. I am not going to see mine til alot later, until I know I have a fighting chance.

Oh Gilz my heart goes with you on friday. I dont think there is anything we can say, except we can all pray it goes well and that your little bean is a fighter. Guess we have to take it all step by step. Dont give up hope yet hun

 

[gilz82]

Think I'm out girls i'm bleeding again

EPAU is shut and I phoned the other maternity number they gave me last week and they told me just to wait til Friday.

 

[loopylollipop]

Think I'm out girls i'm bleeding again

EPAU is shut and I phoned the other maternity number they gave me last week and they told me just to wait til Friday.

Oh Gilz

 

[loopylollipop]

Gilz is DH away at moment or just for friday? Dont want to think of you alone

 

[gilz82]

Im not going to wait til friday. If I'm still bleeding tomorrow morning I'm phoning them again, I'm not going to just go to work and hope I'm not having a miscarriage.

Oh and yeah my OH is away just now not back til Saturday morning.

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh Gilz I hope not. Let us know how it goes and if the bleeding has clots of anything like that. Is it red blood? Oh I'm so sad for you. Today is such a shit day.

 

[loopylollipop]

Im not going to wait til friday. If I'm still bleeding tomorrow morning I'm phoning them again, I'm not going to just go to work and hope I'm not having a miscarriage.

Oh and yeah my OH is away just now not back til Saturday morning.

No it does seem ridiculous to make you wait. And the last place you need to be if a mc does happen is at work.

I was thinking about this yesterday when doing a 12 hour shift, I wondered who I would call if I started bleeding and if they would make me stay and have a mc whilst on-call on my own for a hospital. I looked into it today and have a few people to contact should this arise, I just hope they will help me if it happens. My spotting has never settled completely so this is a real possibility.

I would do the same as you and push for another scan. It messes with your head and is cruel to make you wait. Their view will be that it wont change anything but it will help you start moving forward whichever way it pans out.

How bad is the bleeding? Any pain?

Is there anyway OH can come home and be with you? It is awful you are going through all this without him x

sorry to throw all these q's at you..am just worried about you

 

[gilz82]

Just bleeding no clots it's weird not bright red more dark almost purpley if that makes sense. Some pain but it's higher up i think it's wind not cramps

If my OH explained he probably could come home but it would have unpleasant consequences. His boss had a baby who was 3 months premature and he nearly lost his job for taking his paternity leave. I don't want to make life harder for my OH.

 

[PeanutBean]

Gilz have you had a pee test done for infection?

 

[gilz82]

Yeah I had the tests done last week when I had my kidney infection which weren't good. Then I got it tested today and that sample was clear now.

 

[loopylollipop]

Just bleeding no clots it's weird not bright red more dark almost purpley if that makes sense. Some pain but it's higher up i think it's wind not cramps

If my OH explained he probably could come home but it would have unpleasant consequences. His boss had a baby who was 3 months premature and he nearly lost his job for taking his paternity leave. I don't want to make life harder for my OH.

Oh dear that is harsh. I surprises me how bad and difficult some employers are. I have even written to peoples bosses before (with their permission of course) to give them a bit of what for. Pisses me off.

I have told work that when i go for scan next thursday I will come back if its ok, if is it not I wont.

The pain and bleeding could be your ovarian cyst again?

When you talk to EPAU tomorrow lay your symptoms on thick. If they give you a hard time or your back is up against a wall....well....lie we all tend to play our symptoms down and say , well its not too bad..too painful..too heavy etc. Dont.

 

[gilz82]

I plan to Loopy, I just want this over with. If I'm losing the jellybean then I want to know sooner rather than later and if I'm not I really would like to know what keeps making me bleed.

 

[loopylollipop]

I plan to Loopy, I just want this over with. If I'm losing the jellybean then I want to know sooner rather than later and if I'm not I really would like to know what keeps making me bleed.

so sorry you are having to go through this, especially without your OH

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh I guess if the most recent test was clear it can't be that then. I agree with Loopy about not downplaying. They're a bit like that where DH works, though not quite that bad. I went into labour 2 weeks early so that messed up their rotas.

I really feel for you. Not knowing is often worse.

 

[loopylollipop]

Gliz, found the quote I mentioned in an earlier post.

The yolk sac is first visible at 5 weeks and it is always present by 5 weeks and 4 days. There are lacunary structures [cavities or spaces] at the site of implantation. The embryonic pole appears adjacent to the yolk sac, soon showing cardiac activity. Since the connecting stalk is short, the embryonic pole is found near the wall. At the end of week 5, the heart rate is about 60 – 90 bpm. In early pregnancies, the actual cardiac rate is less important than its presence or absence.